Roleplay Online with RolePlayGateway

Okay, so this first chapter is just going to be randomly written without Word or Spell Check, and is mostly for me to see how well I can do without them. =3 So, here goes!

Chapter 1: Sanctuary?

Everything was gray, blue, and white. The walls, the cealing, the carpet, even the flowers that were set in the silver vase. My clothes joined in with this fashion with white shoes, blue jeans, a white shirt, a blue jean jacket, and even my hair was pulled up into a pony tail by a white scrunchy. By brunette hair was the only thing that stood out, yet matched, as my eyes were blue also.

I pulled myself into the corner of the silver walls, behind the couch. Everything was open and quite, but it wasn't serene. I shuddered as the footsteps above me stopped.

"Where could she have gone!?" some man shouted.

I scrunched my eyes to make myself feel invisible, even if it wasn't necessary.

"We've checked the whole house!" another man shouted, "She isn't here!"

"She can't have gone anywhere, there's nowhere to go!" the first shouted angrily to himself. "We had her trapped! Turn everything over! Maybe there's a trap door! She has to be somewhere in this house!"

I held my breath. Maybe, just maybe, everything would work out. Oh, if only I had my little plushy!

I heard them turn everything over, throwing things out through windows, crushing precious objects.

I with-held the tears that burned my throat and eyes.

Then, again, it was quite.

Had they found it? Did they see it? Were they comming down the shaft now?

No. They had something else planed; death. It started out as a clock's ticking, a heartbeat that I felt in my chest. I covered my head, cowering in my corner. The ticking got faster, following my heart's pace. Then, the bomb went off.

-:~*~:-:~*~:-:~*~:-

Well?

Wow. I like it, a lot. Are you going to keep posting the story? I'd love to read it, it's certainly got my imagination going.

You made a few typos, such as ceiling instead of ceiling and by brunette rather than my brunette. Withheld isn't hyphenated and I think you meant to type quiet rather than quite down toward the end. Also, comming has one m while planed has two ns.

Why do you want to write without a tool to help correct your errors? To see how effective your spelling is? I thought that may be the case, which is why I pointed out all of your mistakes.

As to the content of what you wrote, it is an interesting way to start off a story, and you leave a cliff-hanger. Hopefully you'll write more. :)

A few things:

First, I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while, but I forgot about it and just got to finishing this chapter... ^^;

Second, any critic helps. xD Though, I typed this up on Microsoft Word, so the critic should be about anything other than whatever that one thing is called. o.o Eh, you know what I mean, don't you?

Third, thanks Circ, and your right. x3 I may do that a few times during this story too. =3 So, keep an eye out for that. xD

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Chapter 2: A Need to Move On

“We had the house surrounded with no means of escape,” the chief said, “we couldn’t find her, so we decided to blow up the house.”

“And?” a deep voice asked, cerulean eyes taking in the scene of the kneeling chief and two officers.

“We didn’t find anything else,” the chief stated, and added a quick, “Your Highness.”

“Oh?” the man asked. “Well then, if she shows up anywhere, it’s your head. Now, leave me. I have many things to take care of.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” the chief stated and he gave a deep bow before leaving the tiny room with the one camera.

-----

I sat there bawling my eyes out. Who wouldn’t be? They blew up my house, with presumably me in it!

I hugged my knees and rocked back and forth. My cheeks were wet and sticky and my throat burned. I gulped. I breathed in and out, slowly, slowly. I gulped again and breathed in and out. I repeated the process with a few extra sobs.

Calm down, calm down. “Mommy, daddy, Sam,” I whispered, “I-I’m so scared!” More tears. I was alone, and scared. What if the shaft didn’t collapse like it should have? Did they find the shaft?

These thoughts sent my heart pounding and I got up to run for the second of two doors, leaving the living room. I turned off the light of the room and locked myself behind the door. I ran down through the hallway and turned that light off as I went inside and locked a second door. I continued this with two more rooms until I came to an unlit room. I zoomed to the third door in there: the closet.

I just fit inside it and lock it. I keep my mouth shut and try to get rid of my tears. No, they shouldn’t hear me, they shouldn’t. Soon, I fell asleep.

-----

“Mommy,” the brunette called as she walked into the kitchen. “I don’t feel so good…”

The mother walked over and checked the girl’s head. “My, you have a fever. Go ahead and get back in bed. I’ll be up in a moment.”

“Okay…” the girl said and trudged to her room as her stomach decided that it wanted to try it’s gymnastic skills.

Moments later, after she had gotten into her bed, her mother came in with a thermometer, a glass of water, and a pill. As she checked the girl’s temperature, she seemed to be acting funny to the girl, as if she were nervous. The girl wondered if she should ask, “What’s wrong?” Yet, she never did. Then, her mother gave her the medicine, and the girl took it with some medicine. “Thank you,” the girl said, and that was that.

The girl stayed in bed that day. Yet, that was an unavoidable mistake, for the girl had no father in this age and time.