Deitome didn't need to hear Sanyuu's words to know she was right. No matter how far he ran or how deep into the woods he hid, there would always be that thought that hit him when he was trying to get to sleep at night. That thought of Fuuyutsuki. It haunted him wherever he went. It wasn't even a memory, just her face as he saw it in his head, smiling, no make up, the scar pale on her face but not in any way repulsing to him. And that was the line that reeled him in time and time again. It wasn't his bond with Saikou, something he knew he could ignore if he tried hard enough, but his love for that wise slim owl that insisted on breaking his heart. But he wasn't running away this time. For runaways always seemed to find their way back home. What he was doing was moving out.

"Sanyuu...." a faint voice called from down the hall. It was choked, but still tried desperately to maintain the age and wisdom of authority. By looking at her, one could tell that Fuuyutsuki had been crying; the entire time Deitome had been speaking.

All the things he'd said were true, and she didn't understand how he hadn't understood why she'd been angery with him earlier. But he was also fully justified to be so; she had hit him pretty hard, again and again.

"Sanyuu... I need to talk to Deitome alone." She offered no explanation, but simply asked her to leave and maybe come back later. As soon as she was close enough to the door, she lightly tapped on it and cleared her throat. Her tone was still very weak and sad as she spoke, but her words were clear. "Dei-Deitome-san... I'm so sorry. I-I was out of line with what I said; could you please open the door so that we can talk a little about this?"

Deitome heard the knock and scowled as he wondered what other cruel words Sanyuu had to say to him. He knew a moment later that it was much too soft and quiet to be Sanyuu's knock though and looked up as he heard a strangled voice from behind his door. His eyes filled with pain. It was so hard to be angry with her when she sounded so sad. It was so impossible for him to stay behind locked doors when all he wanted to do was hold her and coo to her that everything would be alright. That wasn't what she wanted though. It would never be what she wanted but only a fantasy Deitome used to get his eyes to close at night.

He stepped up to the door, pressing his fingers against it like maybe he could feel her out there waiting for an answer. He felt nothing. Just the hard smooth wood of the door. "It...It doesn't even matter, Fuuyutsuki." He said quietly, taking an unsteady breath between his words as he watched the flat side of the closed door between them, hidding his face till he could manage enough to face her with a more composed expression. "I mean...Im just being dumb. It doesn't even matter." He slowly unbolted the lock and stepped back again. He waited till she had opened the door before he continued, just watching her as he positioned himself in front of the suitcase he had taken out. It now lay open on his bed, half filled with his clothes like he couldn't decide if he wanted to stay or go. "You...don't even have to be sorry because it's not your fault. So just forget it." He said, standing up straighter. His eyes were tortured as he said it. It was taking everything he had to try to convince himself to let her go.

(Hey, is there a reason I am getting ignored? I had posted to talk to Applepoisoneer. I feel rejected.)

Once inside, she shut the door behind her, hoping that Sanyuu wouldn't be too offended. However, it little mattered. This was something that she had to do behind closed doors. She put a finger to Deitome's lips, gentley letting it fall away once he'd stopped speaking. Her arms wrapped around his rather thin waist and she rested her head on his chest.

"No, Deitome, this time it is my fault... You shouldn't have to take the blame for this... I'm so Sorry; for all of it. For everything that I've said since you've been back. It's just that-- You don't know how your comming and going makes me..." She stopped and collected herself, trying to think of a situation she could use as an example. "Living here is a lot like a summer night; comfertable and warm, but dark. And when you come and go, it's like a firefly that I can never seem to see clearly. Here and gone, and it makes me so crazy... I shouldn't take it out on you, but that's why."

The relief she felt from all the years of playing it off as anger, until she could gather her thoughts in a big bowl and sort through them. True, there were things that drove her mad, things he'd done since he was a boy, but she'd seen him mature, just a little, over the past week or so.

((Sorry, broken love. This is sort of a major Fuuyutsuki and Deitome moment though. Sorry if you feel ignored. Let us just get through this moment. It's huge with the character development and it'll never happen if they dont have their little arguments and disagreements now.^^))

Deitome stiffened when she lay her head against his chest, arms around him. He barely moved in response to her gesture. Then she began to speak and he just couldn't resist the impulse to keep her protected and safe in his arms. He snaked his arms around her and held her as she spoke, explaining that his coming and going had not been easy on her either. It was something that caught him by surprise and his mouth gapped a moment. Surely she was just making this up to keep him happy. That was what she did. As the housekeeper, it was her job to keep the peace. But her voice was so soft and true he was having trouble beleiveing his imaginary excuse for her. He shook his head. "You...you never acted like it mattered. I tried so hard to get a reaction to finally know what you wanted from me but you're...you're always so straight faced all the time. It's hard." Trying to figure out Fuuyutsuki's emotions was like trying to make a clay sculpture with no clay. He didn't know which way to build on, what to carve off, what to prod. He was working with a blank slate most of the time except when she was angry when it was just job to sit back and apologize for being an idiot. Sometimes Dei thought it would be better if he just stopped loving her, but the more he tried, the harder it got.

He pulled away from her suddenly like she had elecricuted him and he turned to stare down at his opened suitcase. "I...It doesn't have to be this way then, Fuuyutsuki." He said firmly. "I know I'm not much help to you or Saikou. There's really no need for me to be here. And if me being here upsets you then...I mean I don't really mind the traveling and I've always wanted to go see America. I hear it's nice there. A new life. Y'know?"

"America!" She cried. "What the hell is there for you in America? There's nothing there!" She paused and collected herself, breathing and allowing herself to calm down. She couldn't believe herself at this point; she felt like a fool crying over a bigger fool. "Don't leave tonight... give at a day or two and if you still feel the same... Then I won't hold you back from anything Deitome-kun. Just sleep on it."

She wasn't ready. Fuuyutsuki knew she was only barganing to give herself more time to come up with a plan, but if it didn't work she would... she didn't know yet. She just put her faith in the fact that Deitome wouldn't leave yet. She held his hand for a minite or two, then let it go. "Just wait a little while Deitome... think about what you want."

Deitome wasn't sure what it was in her voice that made him change his mind. He had been so set on getting out right then. He knew that the more time he was here, the more time he would have to grow attached to Fuuyutsuki and the others. The closer he got, the more painful it would be when he redecided that this was not his place to be. Then she went and told him to think about what he wanted. What he wanted? He didn't need to think about that for what he wanted was something he didn't and couldn't have. And to dwell over this fact, that he would never win Fuuyutsuki's heart was enough to make him want to jump off the next tallest object he could find. Yet it was also a thought that made him want to stay and do dishes and clean the kitchen and pres the laundry so Fuuyutsuki could rest and be happy for once. Conflicted. Conflicted. Conflicted. Everything was always an either or. It was never one way overshadowed the other. There were high points on either side of the scale and no way to tell which way won. Deitome hated it. He wasn't good with making desicions which was probably why he said to her- "If that's what you want then alright. Ill sleep on it."

Sanyuu felt a little abashed to have the door closed on her, but she understood that the situation did not involve her. It was something personal between Fuuyutsuki and Deitome only so, with hopes that neither of them would act too rashly, she wandered out onto the porch where Saikou had been left. She had forgotten that she was only in a robe, and that it was one of his as she stepped out of the door into his room.

"Want company?" she asked, cocking her head as she spoke to him gently. She wasn't smiling exactly, but looked somewhat content with her hair hanging down in damp strings, swaying as she moved. The vibrant red was loud against the white of the borrowed robe as she came to sit beside him.

(If you can follow my lead Biker, I have an incidious idea. If you don't like it we can derail and go for something else)

Her eyes shined and tried to find themselves in his. "Thank you..." Was all she could manage, and she she pulled away finally. "I apologize, for what just happened. I just wanted you to hear me."
she bowed out and shut the door behind her, turning tentitively to the hall where she swayed back toward her own room, already formulating something in her mind. A hanging conflict that wouldn't even allow her to think of sleeping.

((Im sorry. Im not quite catching where your going. My head is going every which way. x_x))

Saikou heard Sanyuu's quiet feel behind him. They were slightly uncertain but he knew she wouldn't change her mind about joining him. He loved the sound the balls of her feet made as they patted along on the ground behind him. It was relaxing to him and he sighed a breath as she bent and sat down next to him. It was strangely pleasing to him to see her sitting in one of his robes and the alluring scent of her straberry shampoo filled the air around them.

"I always want company, Sanyuu." He said softly, not bothing to scoot away and give her more room. Staying right there so they would stay close. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright." the red head said softly, staring out at the yard. Her mind was hitched on Deitome and how he and Fuuyutsuki seemed to be arguing more forcefully than usual. The panda had always been suspicious that there was something there, whether the owl thought so or not, and it broke her heart to see them both in the states they were in. They both were hurting, she knew that they were, and whether it was her business or not, she wished there was some way for her to make it better. "Dunno about Fuuyu or Dei, though." she said it without even realizing her mouth was open.

Tucking her hair back behind her ear, she noticed that she liked how close she could be with him. They could sit side-by-side, close enough to touch, and not worry if someone else would see. They didn't have to run off to the hill just to spend time together, because that's really all they had been achieving all the years they had known one another.

Shyly, the red head looped her arm under her gods and opened her hand, offering him to hold it. Honestly, she wanted to hold his hand. It made her feel close to him, as childish as it might have seemed, but then their quiet romance was not quite ready to be any more adult yet anyway.