Disclaimer: Some people may find this offensive, namely the queefs who dislike South Park, or the Jews who've never seen South Park. If you happen to be offended by this, don't bother letting me know. I won't change it anyways 
Just don't read it.
Also, I feel I should add this for the sake of those who don't get it. The thoughts expressed here are not necessarily my actual thoughts. I have no stereotypes against blacks, Asians, or Jews, I know ginger kids have souls, and I think Hitler was a jackass. This is a joke, and is meant to be taken as such, so if it really bugs you that bad, just get the sand out of your vagina and go elsewhere.
More will be added. Please, if you have an idea for a life lesson, PM it to me, don't post it here. Say whatever you want here, just not ideas, 'cause I'll probably miss them
Life Lessons of South Park
Just don't read it.Also, I feel I should add this for the sake of those who don't get it. The thoughts expressed here are not necessarily my actual thoughts. I have no stereotypes against blacks, Asians, or Jews, I know ginger kids have souls, and I think Hitler was a jackass. This is a joke, and is meant to be taken as such, so if it really bugs you that bad, just get the sand out of your vagina and go elsewhere.
More will be added. Please, if you have an idea for a life lesson, PM it to me, don't post it here. Say whatever you want here, just not ideas, 'cause I'll probably miss them
Life Lessons of South Park
1. Hippies suck.
2. Marijuana doesn't cause you to kill people.
3. If it doesn't sparkle with all the girls, you might end up going to jail.
4. Pan flute bands are annoying but necessary.
5. Farts are funny. Queefs are not.
6. Don't go the wrong way on the one road.
7. All black people can sing and play bass.
8. If you get served, don't serve them back, and if you must, make sure you have a tap dancer.
9. If you want easy weed, make friends with a talking towel.
10. Slayer is the best anti-hippie.
11. The Mongolians were right all along.
12. Ugly people grow up to have personalities and people who are hot are about as interesting as wet carrots.
13. If your child is born wearing an orange jumpsuit, don't get too attached.
14. You never catch the dragon.
15. Freezing yourself in snow is a bad idea.
16. You don't fuck with an eight-year-old girl's boyfriend.
17. Parents taste good in chili.
18. You don't just abandon the World...of Warcraft.
19. Never give change to a homeless person.
20. Sixth graders are opposed to water.
21. Skuzzlebutt is real.
22. old people shouldn't drive.
23. All Asians make good wall-builders.
24. Sweet and sour pork make an excellent adhesive.
25. Real guitars are for old people.
26. Anyone who thinks they're actually a vampire is a fucking retard.
27. Mickey lives at Valhalla.
28. Wear a condom at all times or else you'll catch AIDS.
29. Don't take away old people's licenses.
30. Lock your underwear drawers.
31. Mel Gibson is insane.
32. Somalia is not a good location for pirating.
33. Christian rock bands can never go platinum.
34. Girls like shaved balls.
35. "Fish Sticks" is the funniest joke of all time.
37. Don't take away a Newfie's sodomy, eh?
38. Sleeping with children makes you immortal.
39. Scientology is a gay little club.
40. Chinese people and gingers don't have souls.
41. Jews have no rhythm.
42. Jews can't be pirates.
43. Watch out for the Sri Lankan Staring Frog.
44. The scientific term is "Gingervitis".
45. If you don't want to have a ginger kid, marry an Asian.
46.The only thing that can stop the Anti-Christ is a mountain lion.
47. Lions love a good joke.
48. The only thing that can fight the Cavity Creeps is a giant Crest Gel with Tartar Control.
49. The true heart of Christmas is shit.
49. Beware the Japanese toy industry.
50. They really do have small penises.
51. Lesbos hate Persians.
52. Holistic medicine doesn't work.
53. You shouldn't'a done 'dat, he's just a boy.
54. They snuck a snook up Ms. Clinton's snizz.
55. Obama is a world-class diamond thief.
56. Clyde will save the world.
57. Mr. Hat would kick your ass.
58. Never let more than ten people play the brown noise simultaneously.
59. If you put some stem cells next to a Shaky's Pizza, you'll get two Shaky's Pizzas.
60. Bears don't make good coal miners.
61. Dogs are very capable of suicide.
62. Vote or die, motherfucker.
63. PETA is the world's biggest practicing group for bestiality.
64. Jesus throws ninja stars like a champion.
65. In an election, you'll always have to choose between a douche and a turd.
66. Cat piss = rockin' tits.
67. Mexico is just like hell.
68. Screw the rainforest.
69. The biggest douche in the universe would know how to 69 with himself.
70. Third grade was better.
71. If you record a specific time in history on television with your TiVO, and then drop it into a pool of water to electrocute yourself, you'll have a flashback.
72. Tobacco companies are good, and anti-tobacco groups are evil.
73. The way to make a child not like something anymore is to get their parents to like it.
74. Kyle is behind 9-11.
75. Goths are not vampires.
76. Never give away your birthday money.
77. The only important thing is the game system.
78. Don't forget to bring a towel to the beach, or else you're gonna get all wet.
79. Abe was right.
80. The government conspiracy is a conspiracy.
81. Don't dookie in the urinal.
82. Drugs are bad, m'kay?
83. Never join a boy band.
84. Cartoons are getting really vulgar these days.
85. Parents are retarded.
86. Kenny's a prostitute.
87. Hitler was kick-ass.
88. A giant flaming lower-case "T" means "Time to Leave". Capitalized, it means they mean business.
89. Meekrob is a curse word.
90. If you eat through your ass, you'll shit out of your mouth.
91. Deformed people work well on talk shows.
92. Never pretend to have a physical disfigurement, or else you'll be boiled alive.
93. Only fags can say fag.
94. No, you're a towel.
95. Mutated heads growing from your chest make an excellent distraction.
96. A woman's mouth is the single most dangerous place for a man to put his penis.
97. If you're popular enough, you can make anything cool.
98. Nobody plays Heroine Hero just a little.
99. The lead singer of cure is the way to fight Mecha Streisand.
100. America is the "Evil Power".
101. If you pizza when you're supposed to french fry, you're gonna have a bad time.
102. The KKK Wear funny things under their robes.
103. Brian Boitano is kick-ass.
104. Only Mormons go to heaven.
105. Do what you wanna do, as long as what you want is what everyone else wants you to do.
106. Having sex with chickens is a good way to make people learn to read.
107. Beware Barbara Streisand.
108. There's activists for everything these days.
109. Making faces at sick people is an excellent pass-time.
110. Don't mix alcohol and morning-after abortion pills.
