Hmmmm. Speaking as a poet, I have always believed poetry is about...well, let's see how to phrase this in such a way that it makes sense. Poetry is, for me, about subtly manipulating feelings into words and weaving thoughts into phrases such that the reader, when given the finished product, can read it and draw their own conclusions as to what it means. But here, you're simply stating what is happening, and the pain it brings about, thus preventing the reader from drawing their own conclusions from it, because it's all just there, laid out before the reader. I guess what I'm saying is it leaves no room for the reader to really think about what is being said. And that's completely fine because not everyone writes poetry for that purpose. Poetry is similarly a good way to put together your thoughts and feelings together and gives you a medium with which to 'understand yourself', if that makes sense--which seems to be the intent here, correct me if I am mistaken. And if it is so, there is not much I can critique or comment in relation to the poem itself. I would prefer that you go more in depth about the feelings involved rather than concretely stating what causes them and then stating that the feelings follow--but that may just be my own way of going about it, which I would be loathe to force on you, of course.

That aside, the repetition pattern that I see going there was a nice touch (as far as 'Eh - Ouch - Nothing - Hurts - Stings). I think 'hurts like a mother' was the one weak link to that repetition, because it doesn't hit as hard. Maybe because it's four words instead of one, and were it to be changed to one word, such as 'burn', for example, it would keep up that pattern of hitting hard with each word. But I do like how it goes from 'eh, nothing, doesn't really hurt me' to 'now it hurts, and now it stings' as it progresses from physical ailments to more emotional pains.

Writer's block is annoying. I have a recommendation that works for me. Just write simple haikus about things around you. It might not be a masterpiece, but at least it gives you something. The doodle before the painting, if you will.

Glowing monitor
Displays Gateway's winter theme
Bluish-gray snowflakes

5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables. That's it.


As to your poem, I think you captured the turbulence of youth well. But I think you could unpack it more. You have material in it for a half-dozen poems, if only you were more specific and willing to delve deeper into things. Poetry is an exploration, and details matter.

Take this line:

Finding out my brother doesn’t want to contact me? Hurts.

Right here you have the topic for an entire poem. You could easily get a 20-line poem out of that. If you have stuff to write about, there's no reason to write it all out at once. Savour the process of writing it.