looking for some feedback

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looking for some feedback ( )

Postby tombsofmars on Tue Dec 13, 2011 7:21 am

Looking for some feedback on this new serialized science fiction / fantasy project. Can anybody help me out?

http://tombsofmars.wordpress.com/
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tombsofmars
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Re: looking for some feedback ( )

Postby XavierDantius32 on Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:26 pm

Honestly, there isn't enough there for me to make a proper judgement on what you've written, but I like the concept. Perhaps make the segments a little longer. Maybe 1000-1500 words a time. Then you can advance the plot, and make your writing more interesting.
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XavierDantius32
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Re: looking for some feedback ( )

Postby Kuril on Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:25 pm

You've painted a good picture here. The environment is good, all you need now is a story that fits in it.
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Kuril
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Re: looking for some feedback ( )

Postby DestroytheOrcs on Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:10 pm

This looks really great. You're writing style is very readable and simplistic which is not necessarily a bad thing. The only thing I would suggest is more, more detail. I do not feel like I know enough yet to lose myself in the story. Obviously, though you are not near done yet so this is probably not worth mentioning.

Anyways, keep it up! You're off to an awesome start!
"Kill the orcs, slay the orcs, destroy the orcs!"

"If the winds of change don't smell of blood then they are not worth sniffing." -Orc Proverb Concerning Change and Chaos

"Surrender and die with shame! Resist and die with pain!" -Orc Negotiation Proverb
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