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SaveYou · by **SaveYou** on Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:04 am

The sky in London was grey and overcast, matching everyone's mood. Every day, more and more news about the war was brought back; more and more news about women losing their husbands and sons to the battlefields; more and more letters being sent, forcing people to enlist. Of course, there were places where you could sign up voluntarily, but only the stupid and the suicidal went to those things.

It had not been a good day for Alice Bennet. The letter her family had been dreading had finally arrived in the post; her elder brother and her father had been enlisted, leaving fourteen year old Alice and six year old Peter at home to console their mother. Alice's mother had been making comments about how she and Peter were too young to do anything, which did not make her happy - she was fifteen next month, and she could help then. But in a way, she was too young for other things. The things that scared her so much.

Alice had been best friends with Tom Bryar since they had been kids, and they'd been going out for almost a year; she was so in love with him it hurt, and she knew what she was about to tell him would either destroy or strengthen their relationship. Somehow, she doubted it would be the latter. Tom was fifteen, and she was fourteen - there was no way they were ready for this. Even next month, when she turned fifteen, she wouldn't be ready for it. She was standing on his porch, fiddling with a strand of her hair as she weighed up the pros and cons of knocking the door. Oh God, she was so scared. She was just about to turn and walk away when the door was pulled open, and she found herself pasting a bright smile on her face, so his mother wouldn't think anything was wrong.

She looked stressed, and the letter in her hand was probably the reason why. Alice's chest tightened when she realised it must be a summons for her five sons to enlist - that would mean Tom would have to enlist. She calmed herself down by telling herself Tom was too young - he couldn't enlist, and that meant he wouldn't get himself killed.

"Is Tom here?" She asked, although her voice sounded far away to her. Her mouth was dry, and her heart pounding as she realised what she was about to do.

"He's upstairs," His mother was smiling at her, but it was a fake smile, and Alice knew it mirrored the one on her own face. Stepping past Eliza, she made her way up to where she knew Tom's bedroom was, and where he'd probably be. If she was lucky, he'd be with one of his brothers or his best friend, and if she was unlucky, he'd be by himself. Knocking quietly on the door, she waited for him to open the door, feeling as if she was about to go and fight the Germans - she was so scared of what this conversation would do to their relationship.

MEGAcya · by **MEGAcya** on Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:05 pm

Everywhere Thomas Bryar looked, there was mention of the war in some form or another. The radio bombared him with constant updates, overwhelming statistics and news about the so-called progress. So far as he could tell, though, all of the army's efforts seemed to be in vain. Every day, he heard about people who'd been sent home with injuries sustained on the front line, only to be sent straight back. And now, the worst thing imaginable had happened. A letter had arrived this morning, summoning all four of his elder brothers. This time, it wasn't a case of just requesting their help. This time, conscription was compulsory. It was their call to arms, and they would be going without him. He was, as usual, too young.

Maybe any other kid would be more concerned that their brothers could die out in the trenches, but the one thing eating away at Tom had more to do with himself. He was the youngest son, the baby of the family. Fighting for his country, for the freedom of the future generations, was just the next in a long line of things people said he was too young to do. Growing up, he'd never been allowed to join his brothers' games, because he was too young to understand the rules. A few years later, they'd laughed at him for getting serious with Alice, because they said he was too young to be in love. All Thomas had ever heard from his family was that he was just a kid, too young to understand. And now people he didn't even know were taking it upon themselves to decide that he wasn't old enough to care about the future? He wasn't a child anymore, for pity's sake! He was fifteen, and he knew his own mind. He knew he wanted to be out there, side by side with his brothers as they made a stand against the Germans.

Only one thing stopped him from marching right into town, right up to one of the men with clipboards asking people to enlist, and put himself down with a false age. Alice. She'd been the one who, through all his brothers' teasing about him being a child, had stuck by him. She'd been one of his best friends as far back as he could remember, and for the past year, she'd been his girl too. It sounded crazy to say it, but Tom knew he was in love with Alice. He knew he would stick with her for the rest of his life, God willing, and only the thought of how hard it would be to leave her behind kept him here.

There was a gentle tap at him door, and Tom jumped to his feet. He hadn't realised it, because he'd been so lost in thought, but he had been clutching a hat that Alice had left here last time she visited to his chest tightly, and tears were silently slipping down his face. Pulling himself together, he set the hat back down on the bedside table and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before calling out to whoever was waiting out in the hall.

"Come in."

SaveYou · by **SaveYou** on Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:23 pm

When Alice pushed open the door, she found Tom alone. Great. That meant there was no way out of this now. Stepping into his room, she shut the door behind her, lingering by it for a second or two, smiling nervously at Tom. She didn't want to launch straight into her revelation though, and she cast about for something to speak about when her eyes fell on her hat.

"Oh, so that's where this went," She said, mostly to herself as she crossed to his bedside table and picked it up, before sitting down on his bed, staring down at the hat as she spun it between her hands. Her stomach was tying itself in knots, she was so anxious about saying this. It had to be done, though. Tom had a right to know. Even so, she found herself wishing that one of his brothers would walk in, or his best friend would call over, just to postpone this for a little bit longer. There was silence, though, and all Alice could hear was his mother moving about downstairs; no-one was about to walk in on them.

"Tom, I have something important to tell you," She started slowly, setting the hat aside, and picking at a loose thread on her skirt. She kept her eyes on the floor, unable to look him in the eye. It had taken the two of them to make this mess, but somehow she felt like it was all her fault, like she should have done something more to prevent it from happening.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat, choking her and she kept silent for another minute. Those nights they had spent together had been the best nights of Alice's life, and now look where they had gotten her. Tom was fifteen, her fourteen. There was no way they were ready for something like this, especially not in the middle of the war. World War Two, people were calling it, because everyone was getting called in to fight, but Alice wasn't worried about the soldiers at that moment. She finally found herself able to look up, into Tom's eyes, and she finally found the words to tell him.

"I'm pregnant, Tom. And the baby is yours,"

There. It was said. She couldn't take it back, and she couldn't change the fact that she was pregnant, but she was watching him almost desperately for a reaction, waiting to hear what he had to say. They were far too young for this, but she just hoped Tom wouldn't be like every other boy his age and run from commitment, because she would die if he did that. Her eyes fell to the floor again, and shame flooded her once more for allowing herself to get them into this mess.

MEGAcya · by **MEGAcya** on Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:21 am

Tom broke into a wide smile as Alice stepped into the room. He was always happy to see her; she was easily the best thing in his life. But there was a nervousness in the way she carried herself today, and it was clear that something was wrong. Frowning, he waited in silence for her to speak. Whatever she had to say, it looked like it was troubling her, and the last thing he wanted was to make her feel any worse by acting inpatient.

"I'm pregnant, Tom. And the baby is yours,"

The words hung in the air, weighing down on both of them and making Tom feel like he was about to die from the shock. Alice, pregnant? Tom hated being told he was too young, but even he knew they were too young to have a child. How could they raise a baby, when they could barely take care of themselves? And what did she mean, it was his? Was this her way of telling him there was someone else?

Tom's world was falling apart. That had to be it. He'd always known she was too good for him, that he didn't deserve such a beautiful, incredible girl, but that knowledge wasn't enough to make this easier. Of course there was someone else. It made sense. Thomas felt sick to his stomach. How long had it been going on? Did he even want to know who the other guy was? And there was a baby on the way. His baby. He was going to become a father.

The silence stayed firmly over their heads, choking Tom as he searched for words. He didn't know what to do, what to say, how he was supposed to react to something like this. Finally, he managed to croak out a response. "You're absolutely sure?"

SaveYou · by **SaveYou** on Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:36 am

The silence seemed to stretch on forever between them. Alice had no idea of what Tom was thinking. She had only told him it was his because she had been expecting him to ask, and didn't realise what the words had made Tom think. All she knew was that she needed him to speak, to say something, before the silence suffocated them both.

Eventually, he spoke, but it wasn't the reassuring words Alice had been hoping for.
"I haven't bled in three months, Tom. I don't think you can get any surer than that," She said quietly, still unsure of what he wanted her to do. She'd heard about people who had given the baby up, which seemed sensible, but it wasn't just her decision to make.

"What're we going to do about it, Tom?" She asked, raising her eyes to his face again. "I don't want to give it away," She told him, suprised to find she meant it. It didn't matter that the baby had made everything so complicated for them both; it wasn't the baby's fault. And it was their baby. How was she supposed to just give her baby away, like it was old clothes?

"Your brother has a daughter, doesn't he? Maybe he could help us?" She was just saying the first thing that came to mind now, feeling tense as she waited for Tom to respond to her words. There was another lump in her throat, and she swallowed it quickly.
"Everyone's going to hate us when they find out," She said quietly, knowing it was true - their families would go insane, and any friends they had would probably quick to abandon them. Alice wished she had somewhere to go to escape from it, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. God, they had been so stupid. She just wished Tom would say something.

MEGAcya · by **MEGAcya** on Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:09 pm

"What're we going to do about it, Tom?"

That was the main question, but Alice didn't seem to be all that interested in actually giving him any choice in the matter. She didn't want to give the kid away, and so she wouldn't. Didn't it matter about what he wanted? Weren't couples supposed to make this sort of decision together? More to the point, why were they even having to think about something like this at their age? When they'd been sneaking around together, they hadn't anticipated something like this. The thought hadn't even crossed their minds. They were young and in love, and nothing could spoil that. Or at least, so they'd thought.

But now his mother would be on his case, once she found out. Not just because he'd got her pregnant, but because they weren't married. Oh Christ. Did Alice expect him to propose or something now? The way she kept talking about how everyone would hate them, it certainly seemed that way. What did it matter to him if the kid was born out of wedlock? He didn't want a kid. He didn't know the first thing about parenting, and he wasn't in any hurry to learn.

Tom wished Alice would stop speaking, just for a minute. He needed to think, come up with a way to get out of this. But she wouldn't let him. She kept prattling away about how one of his brothers, the one who had a little girl of his own, might be able to help. And she was right, he would have been happy to. If he wasn't getting shipped off to fight in some hellish war, along with the rest. There it was again, that nagging feeling of jealousy. If only he were a few years older, he'd have been able to go with them. He'd have been packing, and Alice might not have chance come over to tell him before he left. There was a chance he'd end up dead, but at least he wouldn't have had to worry himself with all this.

Cowardice.

Tom knew it was silly to be so frightened of a baby, to be so desperate to get away that he would lay his life down on the front line just to gain some kind of escape. But he couldn't help it. It wasn't so much the baby that panicked him as everything that went with it. Marriage, for one. Tom loved Alice deeply, she meant the world to him, but to commit himself before God to stay with her and only her forever? Even the forever part he could handle quite happily, but as soon as he thought of actually being married to someone, even if that someone was Alice, Tom felt suffocated. He couldn't do it, he wouldn't do it. He needed to get away.

Suddenly, in one swift, fluid motion, he stood up and crossed the room, flinging open the door to attempt to make his escape. But for some reason the sounds of footsteps on the landing made Tom freeze in his tracks, and he stood motionless in the doorway for a long moment, dazed.

St.Jimmy · by **St.Jimmy** on Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:03 pm

And so it was done. He had enlisted. Jonathan Bryar paused at the end of the street that he had known for his whole life, examining the houses as though he might never see them again - and, he supposed, this could very well be true. The letter had come this morning, delivered to his home in the envelope with the official seal, and he had known from that moment that there was no going back. Only Tom would be spared, and that was all to the good, he thought, for their poor mother needed someone to stay with her.

Inevitably, his thoughts turned to his own wife, and their young daughter. What would they do without him, if he actually was called up? And there was little point clinging to the futile hope that he might be one of the few spared, for his profession was not one that would ensure that he was a necessity and could not be sent to war. He should have become a miner; they were in much greater demand than someone who simply worked on the docks, largely because of the fact that it had been mostly the miners to voluntarily enlist in the first place.

Johnny hadn't told his wife yet that he had been called to sign up. There would be time enough for that later; first, he must see his mother, for four of her sons being called up would be a heavy blow to bear. And Tom, too - something told Johnny that he would be unhappy with his lot, which was to stay home and watch his brothers go to war.

He had reached the flight of steps that led up to their porch, and he looked down at every crack in the concrete, remembering a childhood spent in and out of this very front door; once upon a time, he had been ten years old and his sole concern had been that he'd just tripped and smashed his chin against that very crack in the stone there - he still had the scar. Those eighteen years felt like a lifetime ago; that boy had never known that he would reach twenty eight and be about to leave to fight in a war. The optimism and the sense of adventure that he saw on the faces of those youths barely older than his youngest brother did not have a hold on Johnny - he felt only a grim patriotism, because whilst he knew that joining the war was right, he also knew that leaving his wife and daughter behind was very, very wrong. Torn between these two duties, he felt a wave of uncertainty crash over him as he pushed open the door and entered the hallway. His mother would be down here somewhere, but the sound of a door upstairs being wrenched open had him moving upwards to see what the source of the commotion was. Reaching the landing, he was surprised to find Tom, standing in his doorway and looking very dazed.

"Tom?" he said, one hand still resting on the wooden bannister. "Is everything okay? What's the matter?"

SaveYou · by **SaveYou** on Sun Aug 09, 2009 3:27 am

Alice felt like she was about to cry. No, she knew she was going to cry. Tears were rapidly filling her eyes, and even though she tried to blink them away, they still gathered. She had seen this coming, but still, it stung as much as a slap to the face. He had been just sitting there, staring at her, and the next, he was on his feet, he was flinging his bedroom door open, almost as if he was running away from her. The shock of that had stung, but it felt even worse knowing that he wanted to get away from her. For God's sake, she loved him, and here he was, running away, all because they had tried to be serious too quickly, and she had allowed them to pay the price. She would have loved nothing more than to blame everything on the baby, but she couldn't - because it was part of Tom, and she couldn't blame Tom for anything. Not even running away from her.

He had stopped, though. He was standing in the doorway, and she recognised the voice of who was talking to him - his brother, Johnny, the one who had the little girl. Tom wasn't answering, and Alice thought that she should answer for him - he seemed incapable of speaking - when she heard another voice.

"Johnny? What's going on?"

Past Tom standing in the doorway, she could see his mother, looking from Tom to her and then back to Tom, and then she did cry - she burst into noisy tears, because everything was so fucking complicated now, and it was all her fault. She had caused this by letting herself get pregnant, and now she didn't know what to do.

Eliza looked at Tom again, but this time her eyes narrowed slightly. Something was obviously wrong with this girl, and it had something to do with Tom. Folding her arms, she looked at him expectantly.

"What have you done to her, Tom? Because she's not crying like that for nothing! What's happened to get her like that?"

It didn't actually seem like an answer was forthcoming from her youngest son, but that was fine - she had all the time in the world to question him about it, and she didn't care how long it took. She was going to get an answer out of him somehow.

MEGAcya · by **MEGAcya** on Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:34 am

Tom stood perfectly still, fixed on the spot as a mixture of fear and guilt seeped through him, infecting his mind so that he couldn't think straight. Someone was coming. He could hear their feet on the stairs, and he was terrified at what they would say to him. His brothers would tell him he'd been irresponsible, stupid even, but they'd probably at least try to laugh it off. He mother, on the other hand, was a whole different story. She'd taken a liking to Alice, clearly favouring her youngest son's girl friend over Thomas himself. Not that he was surprised.

Ever since he was little, his mama had made it ever so clear that she'd wanted a daughter. That was part of the reason she'd had so many sons, each time hoping this new pregnancy would give her the little girl she wanted. Well, if this baby turned out to be a girl, his mother was welcome to her; Tom sure as hell didn't want a kid, and Alice seemed terrified at the idea of being a mum.

"Tom? Is everything okay? What's the matter?" Johnny's voice drifted in from the landing, and Tom couldn't help but be slightly relieved. His second eldest brother had a kid of his own. If anyone would understand Tom's sense of panic right now, it was him. He opened his mouth to answer, lifting his gaze to meet his brother's concerned eyes, and caught sight of his mother, who seemed to have appeared from nowhere in the doorway of his bedroom.

Great, this was the last thing he wanted. Sure enough, the first thing she did was blame him for Alice's crying. Alice's Crying. He'd made her cry? Tom's heart sank. He hated himself for hurting her like this.

"Mother, I.." he started, voice quickly trailing off to nothing. He didn't know what to tell her. He didn't want to tell her anything at all. Everyone was silent now. Staring him down and waiting for an answer.

"Alice is pregnant." he finally mumbled, bracing himself for whatever abuse he was about to have hurled at him.

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