Alexander Ovechkin

Better than you.

a character in “The Multiverse”, as played by CptxMorgan

Last seen at: Gambit's Bar

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Alexander Ovechkin's Story

# Gambit's Bar, 2009-10-07 18:46:52, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin rides into the bar on his segway.

# Gambit's Bar, 2009-10-07 18:47:48, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin searches for a fifth wall.

# Gambit's Bar, 2009-10-07 18:48:00, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin wants to take it to the next level.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-01-17 11:07:36, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin is Russian.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-01-17 11:07:58, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin does Russian things and stuff, it's pretty cool.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-01-17 11:08:06, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin leaves.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-02 02:14:50, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin goes to the wall adn climes the wall and does oen backflips i mean he does too backflips

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-04 11:47:36, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin walked into the bar, noting that bars didn't exist in Mother Russia. He was used to drinking yak piss out of his mother's breast as a child, which reminded him of bears mostly.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-14 19:00:15, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin skates in on hockey skates and does stuff that people do on skates, like skate mostly. Of course, he's Russian, so that's cool too.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-14 19:02:50, as a chat transcript.
"Hello, I am Alexander motherfucking Ovechkin, yes?" He spoke to the bartender, ordering the finest and largest bottle of vodka that Gambit's owned. He drank it without paying and spit on the counter, muttering something about the evils of capitalism. "Where may I find Caucasian prostitutes with which to sleep with me? I would most enjoy two, or three." He drank heavily, sighing as he contemplated the trials Leo Tolstoy had to endure.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-14 19:05:25, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin grew bored, and decided to blast off into space, bringing the vodka with him. It would be a long voyage, yet he was lucky enough to come across a cat after going through the bar's ceiling. "Hey it's cat, can you teach me how to English?"

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-14 19:07:20, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin deflects the miracle light with his equally holy skate blade. "They is blessed by Russian god Stalin." He chuckled, moving to pick up the cat, wondering if it was safe to use as a hockey puck.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-14 19:13:35, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin ignored the itch caused by his Chlamydia as he watched the Cheeseburger Cat shoop da woop. "You are strong cat, Russian I am guessing." The words were followed by a patriotic salute and a Soviet smile.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-14 19:19:04, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin knew what he must do, although there was no pleasure on neither his face or his soul. With a grimace and a shuddering cry, he allowed a golden, phallic hockey stick appear in his hand. It was adorned with Russian moustaches and various soviet ornaments, like the sickle and penis. "For the Motherland." He screamed, loud enough to cause an anal prolapse in a lesser man, but not himself. After the battle cry, he brought the stick to the cat's side in what would be a slapshot to make the world shudder. If it landed, the cat would certainly fly into the capitalist bar and destroy it for the Soviet Union.

# Gambit's Bar, 2010-02-14 19:29:02, as written by CptxMorgan
Alexander Ovechkin was immediately ashamed with himself, both for killing a fellow Russian and for failing to destroy the epitome of American debauchery that was Gambit's. AO, put his stick in the air and began to skate towards the bar, reaching speeds that were previously unknown to mankind. How he was skating, only KGB scientists could know, but that was another tale for another time. "Capitalist Pigs." He roared before colliding with the outer walls of the bar, breaking through it while simultaneously breaking his body. With his dying breath, the Russian man smiled, and the anus of Socialist heaven smiled back at him.