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The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

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(Full for now)Not "pretty" enough for the Heroes' Guild? Too "violent" for the Thieves' Guild? Well, my homicidal friend, I think I've got a job fer you.

1,620 readers have visited The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild since Mr. Nice Guy created it.

Introduction

"You there! Yes, you! You look like just the person I'm looking for. What? No, no, not -you- specifically. No, I assure you, I'm not with the city guard. Quite to the contrary. Please, come in, I'll make it worth your while.

The country of Zalophus is rather a-typical. For one, they have no standing military to speak of. Most of their 'land' is uninhabitable swamp, their rocky coastline is a nautical graveyard for unwary ships, and their one major city, Zale, is primarily used as a one-night pit stop for merchants, adventurers, and any other travelers that have a reason to use their roads.

In fact, the only true revenue Zale brings in at all, which isn't much, is the cut they receive from all of the Guild Houses within their walls. One can find a guild to accomplish just about anything in Zale, from rescuing princesses to slaying dragons, and from hunting down evil creatures to curing plagues. Why, in a country with so little to offer, do heroic mercenaries thrive? Rumors persist, but no one is quite sure.

Some believe the swamp holds the key, that something within makes men more hardy, imbues them with courage and valor. Others think a magical relic deep below the city holds trapped a nephilim, an otherworldly being of supreme good that blesses all that rest in her embrace. More practical types figure it must be the location of the city, for it resides almost dead center of the continent. Whatever the reason, the fact remains: If you need a hero, you go to Zale and strike a bargain.

With so many do-gooders around, the only guild that never quite took foot was the assassin's guild. Every few years, a group of ninjas or some such nonsense tries, but they're all too quickly hunted down or chased off. It seems someone has deep pockets in keeping the city free of them.

And that's where we come in. I, Guanicus, was once the archmage of the Shiny Knights, the highest paid guild in the land. For many years, my magic brought about the end of evils near and far. Evil, apparently, didn't like being so readily thwarted, however, and the life of an archmage can get lonely indeed. Sue Buccus enchanted me with her wiles, and it wasn't long before an old fool like me was chomping at the bit to chomp her bits! Dyslexia is a foul affliction, and I never figured out what her name meant until it was too late. My soul was hers. Rather than keep it, though, she toyed with it, tainted it, and finally, after I'd fallen to ruin, gave it back to me.

So now, I have little real power, but I have one thing to offer you. Knowledge. Experience. I know how this place works, and I know how we can operate under the noses of the blasted paladins. I can train you, teach you, and let you have the wretched fun you so desire. If you're still interested, then by all means, sign your name on this dotted line. Hmmm? No, no, I haven't the power to make magically binding documents anymore." The mad ex-mage lets out a deep sigh. "Otherwise, I certainly wouldn't need you."

((Disclaimer: It's been a while since I DM/GMd. If this goes well, I may very well look into a darker, less comical evil campaign, possibly of the D&D variety, but I think this is a good fun way to get back into things. Also, feedback is more than welcome.))

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[b]Guild Application[/b] 

[b]Name:[/b] [first and last if applicable]

[b]Age:[/b]

[b]Race:[/b] [Just about anything reasonable is welcome; Minotaur, sure.  Dragon or beholder, probably not.]

[b]Height:[/b]

[b]Weight:[/b]

[b]Brief Personality Overview:[/b] [how well do you play with others?]

[b]Scars, Disfigurements, mental illness/psychoses:[/b] [[i]Something[/i] should go here, but let's stay away from serial rapist or other such true darkness...it's not very funny.]

[b]Weapons and Personal Equipment:[/b] [Work is hard to come by, remember?  A unique item is possible, with approval.]

[b]Class:[/b] [Fighter, Poisoner, Big Rock Thrower, Maddeningly Boring Saxophone Player, etc.]

[b]Criminal History:[/b] [if applicable, and I hope it is]

[b]Brief Background:[/b] [an overview of your history]

Toggle Rules

1. Obey Ye Olde Rules of RPGateway.
2. Have Fun! Seriously, that's why we're here. I hope. This is designed to be the brighter side of dark and evil.
3. Drama in game = fine in small doses; Drama between players = zero tolerance.
3.5. I want this to be a game for mature adults. If you aren't a mature adult, find another game.
4. As an adult, running an adult game, I'm not offended by swearing or other such mature language. However, in keeping with the RPGateWay rules, if something is going to get steamy, take it to PM. Keep me in the loop, as explicit or inexplicit as you wish. I just need to know if someone's going to have a baby or has a new scar or is suddenly missing a...finger.
5. Make the story about the misadventure, the unorthodox missions, your misshapen hump, etc. Don't try to be the guy/girl that one-hit kills everything. It's not about -you- being a bad ass. It's about -us- doing despicable things.
6. Template for Character Creation above: However, all of them should have a little bit of crazy, a major impediment, or some other grotesquery that keeps them from the happy side of guild life.

Browse All » 5 Settings to roleplay in

Zle

Zle by RolePlayGateway

Disregard

Zale

Zale by RolePlayGateway

The bustling capital and only place large enough to be called a city.

Bloody Rose Guild House

Bloody Rose Guild House by RolePlayGateway

The headquarters of the Bloody Rose, the official name of the Ne'er-Do-Well Guild, where they train, eat, sleep, and, inevitably do things they aren't supposed to.

Paradise Island

Paradise Island by RolePlayGateway

The residents may believe their city is named aptly, but few others agree.

The Story So Far... Write a Post » as written by 8 authors

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Christopher's natural talent for fading into the background had done him wrong, this time. He had not been chosen. A special mission separated from the only available feminine companionship? Christopher was not terribly thrilled. Still, whatever it was, it would probably be a lot more interesting than this Bogville B.S.

Which was a bad thing. Of course.

He supposed it was just as well. On these missions, he would have to pretend to be a failure, and while in the presence of a lady he preferred to remain at his most impressive. Upon overhearing the bit about having to swap in for shoddy weapons, he thought, Yeah, right. His current sword was shoddy enough without having magical nerfs. He hoped he would be able to get away with taking his own knives and other assorted items. He had a nice sledgehammer that would work well as a weapon. If hassled about it, he could just say it was a "tool".

Speaking of tools, he was beginning to get rather irritated at Redjack, Kier, and their budding belligerent bantering. He was disappointed they'd hadn't been picked for the same team, and thus the chances of them killing each other on their first mission were now nil. Such a shame. It would only be a matter of time before they were whipping out their pricks for a pissing contest and otherwise cultivating an image of vitriolic sexual tension.

And speaking of sexual tension...Christopher had noticed Annalee's blush. It had been particularly bright. He hoped this wasn't a sign that she was into the ladies herself. At least not completely. He wasn't really in a mood to be dealing with that sort of block on his amorous ambitions.

Again.

He coughed. "So, uh. Boss. I guess that leaves me over for the special mission?"

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Annalee waited outside the Guild for her two team members. She did not have a very long attention span, so she'd begun to count the individual leaves on a nearby tree. It was therefore with some relief that she greeted her team members.

"122...oh! There you are!" Then, of course, she began to feel nervous that her greeting had been over-eager. "I mean," she coughed. "Hello. I hope you had a good rest. We will need our wits about us when we fight the zombies."

Inside, she bubbled with happiness. She sounded so...so...professional. And she liked the idea of fighting things that were already dead. It meant that she didn't have to feel guilty when her knives carved through their flesh.

Annalee began to walk down to the town, a visible bounce in her step.

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From behind the polar bear chair that cradled the snoring mad mage stepped his apprentice, having waited until just about everyone had left the room. She was not shy, by any means, but she didn't want the guild to waste more time on introductions right now. The path -to- Bogville would probably be a bit more treacherous than any realized, and by nightfall, the zombies would be clawing at the shoddy walls of the villagers.

For Zyler, however, too slow to join his team in a timely fashion, and for Christopher, left out of the fun, she would seem a welcome sight. The fact was, she hated wearing clothes, hated the feel of each coarse fiber clawing at her flesh, and so she wore as little as possible, covering only what -had- to be covered in 'civilized' society. On her torso, she wore what equated to a silk-rope harness, criss-crossing her form in every direction, revealing all of her lithe stomach and toned muscles. Attached to the ropes were tiny pouches, each with drawstrings pulled tight, and covering her firm breasts was a piece of silk, attached to two ropes, one above and one below, caging them, keeping them from sight. Similar styling gave her a short skirt. Still, she did what she could to not rustle the silk, for it would tickle and rub. Instead, she chose to levitate a foot above the ground, body almost unmoving.

The next, or perhaps the first, thing one might have noticed, was her tattoos. From her neck to the bottoms of her feet, she was covered in ink. From afar, they seemed almost solid, but closer inspection, which few were allowed, revealed that they were words, wrapping around her body over and over. Were one familiar with the language of magic, they'd have meaning; these were spells. For the untrained, however, they seemed almost purely gibberish. Their meaning, if any, was nearly impossible to decipher, for even those that could read the words rarely could read an entire string as they wrapped about her smooth flesh.

As she hovered into the room, she leveled her all-black eyes on the two men, tilting her head slightly to the side. With barely a glance at Guanicus, she looked at Christopher and spoke, her voice lower than one might expect, but still feminine. "You will join Annalee in reaching and defending Bogville from zombies. Do not forgot my master's rules." She dismissed him, turning her gaze upon Zyler. "You tarry, and so you shall instead work for me. I suggest you get some sleep, for we leave when the sun's light no longer taints the world." With that, she turned and hovered back behind the polar bear, a last glaring glance over her shoulder daring either of them to disobey, daring either of them to let their eyes tarry upon her exotic form.

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Kier strode over to Banal Flea, or Hanna Bee or whatever her name was, fully prepared for some zombie-killing. She seemed a touch excited, and of course, so was he. His first mission for his first job, and all he had to do was make cold cuts of some dead people! And if any group of people were particularly sliceable, it would have to be the dead. It was a good thing, too. His personal sword, when wielded with the proper force, could even cut through bone- as he had found out accidentally. The grimy prop of a sword provided by Guanicus was acceptable enough, but he certainly couldn’t use it to cut a live person in half. A melt-y rotting zombie, on the other hand...

It took a great deal of focus for Kier to follow Lanna Knee down the road to Bogville. Everything was a distraction. The rustling of a bush, a pebble under his foot, the clouds, the hazy floating shapes behind his eyelids, the hallucinated hazy floating shapes in the sky, etc. Gradually, however, he found his focus returning, and within some time he was entirely clear headed. This presented an entirely new problem- he was immediately bored.

β€œSo,” he announced, quickly stepping up beside Christopher and Flannel Tea as they walked, β€œI assume you two have worked for money before?” It was a perfectly sincere question, asked out of curiosity and not pretension. His affect had changed, however: his posture was better, and his speech more refined. There was still a level of friendliness to his expression, but the uppity grin of a gentleman was there too.

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#, as written by Guest
Zyler had zoned out, the most likely cause, the Dryad was singing to him. He had not recognized when Annalee had come up to him, though he did recall a faint nod of his head. GOD, I want to have this dryad at my side. He was woken from his reverie when Kier started laughing. his eyes took a second to re focus to the room lighting, as apparently, he was so far out of it, his pupils dilated and were HUGE. Zyler noticed the rack of weapons, also noticing that the rust was artificial, even from his chair. He got up, and ran his hand over the pommels of the swords. Selecting the "better" of three different broadswords (and thats better looking, not better suited for him as Zyler is well attuned to swords.) The sword he had chosen was slightly heavier than what he was used to, which would mean he needed more strength in his swings, but that would do little to him personally. It was a type of cast iron, sharpened to sword blade sharpness, and an inlaid hilt, obviously a theatrical enhancement. He took his pistols from his holsters. "Excuse me, where do we keep our preferred weapons if we have to use these?" He nodded to the rack.

Zyler looked up to the woman who had addressed him and Chris, looking from her skimpy outfit and tattoos, assumed she liked to wear as few articles of clothing, since he knew other people of the same mindset. That, and he jokingly assumed she liked showing the tattoos off. Upon closer inspection, he could make out words of some ancient language but he couldn't understand it. "Well, yes, it was my fault I was entranced by the Dryad's song, and I don't mind working with a looker such as yourself." He however, had just gotten plenty of rest. This was a side effect of the Dryad's Song, when not used with malice and hate, It refreshed the body of those that heard it. Also, Zyler has on many occasions gone for days with little to next to no sleep for days on end. "I can't wait."

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"Yes," said Annalee. "My family sort of runs a different assassin's guild...although it's family members only. So I've done contract killing before, but...well, I haven't really gotten any of the profits before." Annalee looked down at the ground, thoughtful. Then she looked back up at Kier with a big bright smile on her face. "Actually, I just realized that this is the first time I will get paid for a job! I'm very lucky!"

They had reached the town, which was noticeably empty at the moment. Except for those shambling figures lurking in the shadows...

"Do you think that might be a zombie?" asked Annalee, pointing at a shambling man with an axe in his head who was coming close to them. "I've never seen a zombie before, so...if he's not a zombie, do you think he might've been attacked by one? There's an axe in his head."

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Christopher was feeling rather elated to be along with Annalee instead of going on that lame solor mission... especially in light of who he would have had to be dealing with. He wasn't go gullible as to be allured by a shapely naked woman. He'd seen everything from gypsy-belly-dancer-assassins to do dominatrix-vampire-courtesans, and after his first attempt at starting romance with the exotic kind of woman, he'd learned that it could only end in horrible disappointment and sometimes dismemberment.

She gave her a smile and a "Sure sure!", grabbed a shoddy-looking blade from the rack and hurried off to join the others.

---

On the way to Bogville, Christopher had kept his eye out for anything of interest. Unfortunately, nothing had really stood out to him.

He responded to Kier's question. "Allegedly for money. Among other things. Not that I ever saw a copper of what was promised me most of the time. I find it's rarely the end bait, but the incidental treasures that make up the actual reward in any venture."

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On the Outskirts of Bogville

The shambling figure slowly turned at Annalee's words, one eye hanging from a socket. Its throat was intact enough to emit an excited groan as the mindless creature spotted prey. It gave her a good look, from head to toe, and decided that the she looked particularly tasty with plenty of fleshy bits to chew on. It licked its lips, tried to wink at her, then began shambling with more purpose towards her.

All around, zombies began to stand up, either from the ground they'd sat upon or the trees they'd leaned against. As a whole, they weren't in a very good mood. Their desired food source had holed itself up pretty well in the nearby town, and after enough splinters from trying to pry the boards apart, they began to search the bog for anything easier to get to. Unfortunately, whatever lived in the bog moved much faster than they could. They'd even lost a zombie brother to a particularly deep bog; he was still 'alive', per se, but he was stuck deep in the mud, and none of them had the coordination to get him free.

All in all, more than twenty zombies are suddenly surrounding the merry party of three, and their collective howl and lip smacking brings every eye in Bogville to the cracks in boarded up windows, watching to see what happens to these strangers.


At the Bloody Rose Guild Headquarters

The girl's voice came from behind the polar bear throne that Guanicus still slumbered in, her tone still rather flat and low. "You keep your weapon for this mission, but if you do more than look at me, I'll fashion you into a new weapon rack."

A long silence followed after his three words of impatience, and then her voice, clearly irritated, sounded once again. "Fine. You should have taken the sleep option. Outside, five minutes." With that, a door slammed shut, and Guanicus awoke with a start.

"I'll call you whatever I please!" The wide-eyed man shouted, then looked around. He'd been asleep when Scarlet had attacked him, and it seemed he was somehow aware of it. "Where's that cursed girl? How dare she touch my robes!?" In his looking around, he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror. He screamed and jumped out of the polar bear, hiding behind the table, his hands and body pressed against various parts of the mermaids' anatomy. "Why in a witch's tit do I have a beard? Nobody likes beards! They're completely out of fashion!" With that, he crawled away quickly, muttering something about a showing the unseemly facial hair who was in charge around here.

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Arcs are bundles of posts from any location, allowing you to easily capture sub-plots which might be spread out across multiple locations.

Add Quest » Quests

You can create Quests with various rewards, encouraging your players to engage with specific plot lines.

Add Setting » 5 Settings for your players to play in

Settings are the backdrop for the characters in your universe, giving meaning and context to their existence. By creating a number of well-written locations, you can organize your universe into areas and regions.

Navigation

While not required, locations can be organized onto a map. More information soon!

Zle

Zle by RolePlayGateway

Disregard

Zale

Zale by RolePlayGateway

The bustling capital and only place large enough to be called a city.

Bloody Rose Guild House

Bloody Rose Guild House by RolePlayGateway

The headquarters of the Bloody Rose, the official name of the Ne'er-Do-Well Guild, where they train, eat, sleep, and, inevitably do things they aren't supposed to.

Paradise Island

Paradise Island by RolePlayGateway

The residents may believe their city is named aptly, but few others agree.

Add Group » 0 Factions to align with

There are no groups in this roleplay!

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Once an Item has been created, it can be spawned in the IC using /spawn Item Name (case-sensitive, as usual) — this can be followed with /take Item Name to retrieve the item into the current character's inventory.

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Give your Universe life by adding a Mob, which are auto-replenishing NPCs your players can interact with. Useful for some quick hack-and-slash fun!

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View All » Add Character » 11 Characters to follow in this universe

Character Portrait: Guanicus the Mad
Character Portrait: Annalee Harlow
Character Portrait: Caldus Occisor, AKA "Redjack"
Character Portrait: Scarlet Nox
Character Portrait: Kier Mon Duvell

Newest

Character Portrait: Kier Mon Duvell
Kier Mon Duvell

Formerly wealthy swordsman with a fairy dust addiction.

Character Portrait: Scarlet Nox
Scarlet Nox

An unpredictable half-elf and sadistic bimbo.

Character Portrait: Caldus Occisor, AKA "Redjack"
Caldus Occisor, AKA "Redjack"

Selfish and violent, tried and tested, criminal and unrepentant, and just a little inept, Redjack is looking for a chance to secure a fortune.

Character Portrait: Annalee Harlow
Annalee Harlow

Penitent Assassin

Character Portrait: Guanicus the Mad
Guanicus the Mad

Not-so-powerful, not-so-good ex-archmage starts his own merry band of miscreants!

Trending

Character Portrait: Caldus Occisor, AKA "Redjack"
Caldus Occisor, AKA "Redjack"

Selfish and violent, tried and tested, criminal and unrepentant, and just a little inept, Redjack is looking for a chance to secure a fortune.

Character Portrait: Annalee Harlow
Annalee Harlow

Penitent Assassin

Character Portrait: Kier Mon Duvell
Kier Mon Duvell

Formerly wealthy swordsman with a fairy dust addiction.

Character Portrait: Guanicus the Mad
Guanicus the Mad

Not-so-powerful, not-so-good ex-archmage starts his own merry band of miscreants!

Character Portrait: Scarlet Nox
Scarlet Nox

An unpredictable half-elf and sadistic bimbo.

Most Followed

Character Portrait: Annalee Harlow
Annalee Harlow

Penitent Assassin

Character Portrait: Guanicus the Mad
Guanicus the Mad

Not-so-powerful, not-so-good ex-archmage starts his own merry band of miscreants!

Character Portrait: Caldus Occisor, AKA "Redjack"
Caldus Occisor, AKA "Redjack"

Selfish and violent, tried and tested, criminal and unrepentant, and just a little inept, Redjack is looking for a chance to secure a fortune.

Character Portrait: Scarlet Nox
Scarlet Nox

An unpredictable half-elf and sadistic bimbo.

Character Portrait: Kier Mon Duvell
Kier Mon Duvell

Formerly wealthy swordsman with a fairy dust addiction.


View All » Places

Zle

Zle by RolePlayGateway

Disregard

Zale

Zale by RolePlayGateway

The bustling capital and only place large enough to be called a city.

Bloody Rose Guild House

Bloody Rose Guild House by RolePlayGateway

The headquarters of the Bloody Rose, the official name of the Ne'er-Do-Well Guild, where they train, eat, sleep, and, inevitably do things they aren't supposed to.

Paradise Island

Paradise Island by RolePlayGateway

The residents may believe their city is named aptly, but few others agree.

Bloody Rose Guild House

Zale Bloody Rose Guild House Owner: RolePlayGateway

The headquarters of the Bloody Rose, the official name of the Ne'er-Do-Well Guild, where they train, eat, sleep, and, inevitably do things they aren't supposed to.

Paradise Island

The residents may believe their city is named aptly, but few others agree.

Zale

Zalophus (Original) Zale Owner: RolePlayGateway

The bustling capital and only place large enough to be called a city.

Fullscreen Chat » Create Topic » The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild: Out of Character

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Most recent OOC posts in The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks, DePhantasia. As soon as my life slows down a wee bit, I'll think about remaking it, though I'd like to know why it failed in the first place...

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

might have to do a remake or something. This really was a good rp.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

Hmmm...we're up to three. Fammikins hasn't been seen in any RP for a while...I guess I'll wait to see if Summer vacations are ending soon.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

I'm present. I was on vacation, I thought I would have Internet, and didn't. So sorry.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

That's still just two of you...I guess this dies...

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

Im still here, sorry. I was swamped with school work and stuff around the house.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

Well, Lovely, it appears this has died. I'm going to give it one more week, I suppose. If everyone comes back, awesome, if not, I'll close it and rethink my strategy. If anyone would like to be part of the next attempt, or has feedback as to why this one didn't work, please let me know. I thought things were going well, and then they just....stopped. Any input would be appreciated.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

I'm here! Well, I haven't really been here at all during the long weekend, family visiting and whatnot. But I am still here.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

Lovely's team has some action, as does Zyler. Pandora, are you still here? Please, PM me or post here if you're going to be gone for a bit.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

That is fine, Lovely. However, since Pandora's team is leaving second, they get some fun on the road...so PB, when you post, please only get as far as your journey to Bogville...don't actually reach it quite yet.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

I posteded although we are still waiting for Shanatos! Short post but we met our first zombie, so it's all good, right? Banal Flea is also Captain Obvious.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

Yeeesh. Finals usually make me sick, too, but no internet? That's brutal. xD Glad you're back.

@OYM: Banal Flea? Lmao, omg, very talented writing. Fits so well with my vision of this place. I still need to figure out my apprentice's quirks...

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

wow, Not a lot happened, well, that's natural, I was one of the main characters. Well, im back, and I think I covered all the loose ends I had to pick up on. Sorry guys, I had school finals all last week, then i had no internet connection this past weekend, I had gone to a con, and the hotel internet wouldn't let me on. then i had a stomach bug on Tuesday.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

DePhantasia contacted me and should be posting soon, but that shouldn't be stopping the rest of you from heading towards killer zombies...

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

No worries Pandora. It didn't really go anywhere yet. DePhantasia seems to have disappeared, so in the meantime, Shanatos is replacing Zyler on the mission, and Zyler may or may not be coming back from his special mission...

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

I apologize for my brief disappearance. I went on a spontaneous trip, and unfortunately, the hotel wifi did not work.
Catching up right now!

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

I choose to interpret this turn of events as Christopher restoring his game and insinuating himself onto Annalee's team. Possibly by doing something horrendously embarrassing to Zyler.

Re: [OOC] The Ne'er-Do-Well Guild

Alright, my apprentice doesn't have a profile or name, yet, but she's been introduced and I've made up for DePhantasia not posting. Christopher is now on Annalee's team, and Zyler is mine...>.>