Comments:
In your post.. He touched her tenderly.
Where did you touch her? Cheek, shoulder, arm, leg, neck, back, somewhere else? When you don't specify where, you leave it to the other player/players to have to assume things, which sometimes can change the effect you were looking for. Make sure you put that extra detail in there... it means a lot. "Its just, I do not know where, when or even who I am."
...there needs to be a comma between when and or: ...where, when, or even who I am.
Also, The flow of this line, His face baffled with the understanding of the woman who was in the room with him and the events that had happened thus far, including his onset of amnesia.
is missing something. If it were my post, I would have put the word 'was' in there: He was baffled with... But that's just me. I don't really see how someone's face can be baffled. It can appear baffled: His face mirrored his emotions, baffled with.... Also, what understanding.. My character's understanding of your situation, or how she can sense that you're not all right because she's blind? Or is it YOUR character's sudden understanding of her situation.
Once again, you need to make sure that you're explaining yourself fully, or what you are trying to say can be misinterpreted..
Another thing. I've been contacted by one of the RPA staff concerning other RP's that you are in. Specifically, The House of Night and Enternal Night. The RPs are not only inappropriate, but have been locked/removed from the forums. And also, both yourself and Skaura-91 are now locked down to STRICTLY RPA posting for the time being, until we feel that you can post without making people choke. If you break this probation and post in an RP out of the RPA you will be banned. She felt his fingertips brush against her lightly, savoring the human contact. It had been years since she was last in the presence of another, and her mind went delving into another time and place. A time where there had been three others here, happiness, laughter, love, family. The two children, her loved one, and herself... Living a normal life. Back when she still had her eyesight. But then the disaster happened... when the the soldiers came- ...His touch lifted and the spell was broken. His words brought Aelith back to reality. Where am I? She waited, knowing that there was more to the statement. I do not know where, when, or even who I am. She nodded, feeling him shift beside her. Motioning towards the bed that was only a few feet away she began. "You might want to lean against that, if you do not want to over-exert yourself. You are in the realm of Amber, and have been here for a week. I do not know where you came from, or when it is there, since time flows differently here, but I know that you were brought here by the gods. I found you because I tripped over you in the middle of the woods. You were laying across my pathway.As for who you are, when I washed your clothes for you, I found this..." She reached into the folds of her dress and pulled out a wallet, passing it to him. "...perhaps it will tell you what your name is.. and where you have come from."
OOC note: Yeah, so I stole the world from a book... Didn't feel like making my own up. Also, I felt that it would make for a more well-rounded storyline, if you don't mind doing a fiction based RP. I can either use the Amber outline, or just the name of the place and nothing else. It's up to you, just let me know.