Welcome SaveYou, the the Roleplay Academy! Here I will share with you my knowledge in grammar, flow, character development, and plot development. If you have any questions over anything that I cover, or just need help in general please don't hesitate to ask I remember RPing with you briefly before and you have some great ideas and great potential! Here is your first assignment and good luck!

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First Assignment: Write a post on the following scenario.
Setting: After school
Problem: A girlfriend/boyfriend just broke up with you

Alicia sat on the bench in the bus shelter, staring straight ahead at the wet road, watching the rain bounce off it and the cars that zoomed by, though not really seeing them. She was lost in her thoughts, her green eyes glazed over as she replayed the conversation she'd just had with her boyfriend fifteen minutes earlier.

Actually, make that ex-boyfriend. Tears sprung to her eyes, but she dashed them away with the back of her hand, determined not to cry. But she couldn't help it. Her and Jake had been together for almost four years. Four years in a week. And now he'd gone and ruined it all. She had no idea why, but she had a feeling Clodagh Williams had something to do with it.

Her bus approached, and she stood, sticking out a hand to get it to stop. Getting on, paying, and flopping down in a seat, she turned her head to look out the rain-streaked window. Loosening the tie around her neck, she plucked at a few loose threads on her dark green school jumper, biting her lip as she did so. She felt as if it was her fault that he'd left her - was she not pretty enough? She had to admit, she wasn't exactly a beauty, what with the fact she had a large bump on her nose, small eyes, and she constantly seemed to have acne, but she'd had all that when he'd met her. Was her personality horrible, then? No, he'd endured four years of that too.

So maybe it wasn't her. But she wanted to know what it was that had destroyed their relationship, the relationship that she had been so happy with. As the bus rumbled along to road, and eventually came to her stop, Alicia got off, pulling off her school blazer and holding it over her head to keep out the rain. As she walked towards her small home, a dozen memories of her and Jake flooded her mind, bringing more tears to her eyes. She still loved him, and she didn't think she'd ever break up with him. Maybe that was what was making the break-up all the more painful.

That was great! I loved how you incorporated every emotion into the description of your character. You really got into your character's head in describing how she felt. You were also very good at describing your environment. Your grammar is excellent and you flow very well. I think it's safe to say that we can move on to character development, character interaction, and plot development now

Now as far as character development goes, a lot of it is usually revealed throughout an RP rather than revealed in a single post. In your last post, you have your readers asking: What did he say to her? Who is this Williams guy? Why was Jake so great?

Which is a great thing! Just remember to answer such questions as you go along and continue posting. Also as you continue posting, it's always good to put in little segments that describe where your character may have come from and how she was raised.

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As for your next assignment, I will be RPing with you to see how well you develop your character amidst interacting with other characters. I will also be looking for plot development. Would you like to stay with this scenario or would you like me to create a new one?

Thanks for that, I'll remember that for the RP's I'm in now/will join =3

Could you create a new one, please? I like variety in my RP's, and I'd like to see how I'd do with a different scenario

Not a problem

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Second Assignment: Write a post on the following scenario.
Setting: Bar
Focus: Character development and plot development. I'll post right after you with some tutorial hints along the way :3

Alexia, known as Lexi to most of her friends, pushed open the door to the bar she frequented at most nights. She was underage, by a year, but she never actually drank any alcohol. No, the teenager came here to make money from hustling pool. Her father was in prison, and Lexi thought it was her job to help get some money for her, her mother, and her siblings.

Walking towards the pool table, she grinned when she saw the crowd gathered around it. She'd gathered a bit of a reputation for her 'job', and now everyone wanted to be able to beat her. Most guys saw her, and always thought 'this'll be easy.'
It never was.

She supposed it was her appearance. She didn't look seventeen. She looked around fifteen, or sixteen, with layered brown hair that always seemed to be falling into her eyes, and her clothes were sort of scruffy. Her shoes, her favourite pair of Converse, were in desperate need of a wash, and the jeans she wore were full of rips and tears, as was the jacket she was now pulling off. Only the light blue tank top she wore was clean enough, but she wasn't going to tell anyone that she'd nicked it off her younger sister. She'd turned fifteen two weeks ago, and the top was a present from Lexi, so she'd assumed she could wear it to, and then left for the bar to make some money.

She stopped short of the pool table, and decided to get herself a drink first. Draping her jacket across a bar-stool, she sat on top of it, and ordered a Coke, which the barman was happy to give her. Ian Winchester was a nice man, and had been a close friend of Lexi's father, and Lexi probably could have gotten alcohol off him if she had have wanted, but Lexi didn't want to get him in trouble, so she stayed with soft drinks.

Quickly draining it, she hopped off the barstool, and walked towards the pool table, picking up a cue.
"Alright, who's first?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at the men who were staring at her incredulously. They'd all known she'd be young, they just didn't expect her to be that young. One stepped forward, and Lexi grinned at him. A lot of them thought she'd be easy to take down, a kid who didn't know one end of the cue to the other.

They'd yet to actually play the firey-tempered teenager, and it was only after they'd had a match with her, Lexi thought, could they properly judge her.

Tutorial Notes: Thank you for being so patient and understanding with my schedule, SaveYou!! That was good! Grammatically I only noticed that you used the word "to" instead of "too" when you posted the following: so she'd assumed she could wear it to

The word "to" is typically used when it's describing a verb in motion and "too" is used when you're wanting to say "as well" or expressing an excessive amount of something, such as "too much" or "too soon."

Grammar aside, I found that I had to read the following twice to put into context the legal drinking age: She was underage, by a year, but she never actually drank any alcohol.

The legal drinking age in America is 21, the legal drinking age in probably the rest of the world is 18. I'm guessing we're outside of America on that one but I'm not completely sure. This wasn't a bad thing, it was just from my perspective it took me a second to put that into context.

As far as character development goes, sometimes less is more. This is entirely up to your style of RPing, but to pull the reader's attention in, sometimes you have to slowly reveal information about your character as you continue posting. Make it more suspenseful, you know? Get the readers to ask questions that keep them hooked to reading so that they can answer those questions. For instance, when your character entered the bar, you could have just stopped her description at her age so the readers would have to guess what she was doing there. And then from there slowly give hints as to why she was there.

Another thing I noticed was that you were very good at describing what your character was doing and what your character looked like, but I wish I could've known what was going on in your character's head and what she was feeling at the time. Get the readers to feel what your character is feeling, try and describe that feeling and channel it to your readers.

I also wish I could have seen a little bit more of the environment encompassing your character, basically describe the setting. This almost always helps to set the tone and the mood of the RP.

I actually have to go to work right now x.x but I will make a followup post as soon as I can! Would you be interested in doing a group tutorial session where I would mediate you and others as well under one topic? I would make sure that if you were interested, that you would be grouped with people on or around your level. Let me know when you can! And again thank you so much for being patient with me!! <3

I always have that problem with grammar. Sometimes I think I've hit it twice/once, and it turns out I haven't, or I use "two" by mistake x3 I can undertsand about your schedule as well, and if your busy, your busy, I understand =3

Yeah, I'd be intrested in a group session =D
Thanks for giving me that advice as well, I'll remember it =D