Somewhere Over There: A WWIII Novel

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Somewhere Over There: A WWIII Novel ( )

Postby ShatteredSoul on Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:53 pm

Prologue


In the year 2025, a new leader came into rule over Canada. Drayden Paquette III, a descendant of a long line of socialist, fascist, tyrants in the political fields. He, as well as many other powerful Canadian politicians, felt tired and aggravated with the way that the country was viewed: as a doormat, an ‘innocent’, ‘peaceful’, place for all other countries to walk on and take advantage of. Their biggest annoyance was the United States of America. As it was, Canada had always held a quiet grudge with the USA over their gain of the Alaskan territory; but over the mass amount of years that had passed since that loss, the number of immigrants, miscreants, and over-all intolerable had grown to a sickening rate in Canada. By 2013, when the USA had finally declared victory over the Middle-East and gained complete control of the territory, the major cities of Calgary, Vancouver, Edmontin, and essentially twenty five percent of the British Columbian region were crawling with American illegal and legal immigrants, and tourists; all of whom were very disrespectful to the customs and laws, and were devoid cleanliness.

By 2029, political hero and ruler of Canada, Drayden Paquette III, had been able to gain allegiance with North Korea, whose leader was Hyun Tsai; China, whose leader was Jianguo Hsing; Germany, whose leader was Broderick Skeffington; and Russia, whose leader was Igorek Dolgopolva. In short, Canada had gained a huge advantage over the USA in a matter of 4 years with one man. Though he and his fellow politicians had tried determinedly, England and Great Britain had for what was most likely the first time in history, decided to remain neutral. With all of these countries as one large alliance, a major world dominating power if you would, it left the USA with Japan, the Middle-East, France, and their scattered followers throughout the rest of the world.

On November 14, 2029, Canada led an organized series of rebellion attacks in Seattle, Washington; Duluth, Minnesota; and Saginaw, Michigan. Each attack involved mass shootings, explosions, and hostage situations. Though very few casualties were obtained (apparently Canada’s focus was not to follow in Adolf Hitler’s footsteps), it sent a very powerful message to our leaders and president, Henry Greyson. But the full was not sent until November 20 of the same year, when North Korea, under command of Canada, launched a nuclear warhead into the atmosphere as a warning to the US, and turned its weapons to face Hawaii and Florida.

By December 3, 2029, it was made nationally clear that World War III had begun against the USA, and was being intensely fought on the US mainland. Borders became heavily armed, especially the Canadian border; troops being stationed in foreign countries were being called home immediately; Japan and the Middle-East were being prepared for defensive strategies and deployments to defend the US; and France was supposedly working on getting intelligence that would aid the US ultimately. The country was in a panic, but somehow the president was managing to keep order and partial calm through all of the growing chaos. Entire cities in the northern region were being evacuated into concentrated ‘safe-zones’, families were saying goodbye to young men and women who were being sent to defend, and drafts were being put in to place.

Now, in the year 2041, the third worldly war is over, and white flags have been flown. Negotiations are being made; families reconciled for losses; bodies being recovered from massive graveyards. One fallen soldier in particular is being honored as a great hero, and awarded perhaps the noblest medal the US military has to offer, even in his death. His name was Samuel Johnson, his friends called him Socom; he was Marine Major and decorated sharpshooter and leader. He was a hero in this war, a true life saver and powerful driver of motivation and determination. He was my brother. This story is about his life and death fighting for what he believed in with his platoons and friends during a war that is being called the largest tragedy since 1945. It is about the great sacrifices and accomplishments he made that have gained him the Purple Heart, a medal of honor only the truest of heroes gain.
Last edited by ShatteredSoul on Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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ShatteredSoul
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Re: Somewhere Over There: A WWIII Novel ( )

Postby ShatteredSoul on Tue Nov 10, 2009 2:44 pm

Prologue REVISION



This: By 2029, political hero and ruler of Canada, Drayden Paquette III, isn't exactly necessary to add, either. You already stated in the first paragraph that Canada had already been taken over by Drayden Paquette III. If he holds a new title, I would recommend re-wording it to something like, "By 2029, Drayden Paquette III (newly proclaimed political hero and ruler of Canada)...." See what I mean?

USA in a matter of 4 years with one man, the number "4" should be written out. Any number below 100 should should be written out. Unless you are not trying to be extremely formal. In most cases, it would be highly necessary to just write the number out.

Though he and his fellow politicians had tried determinedly, England and Great Britain had,(comma should be there) for what was most likely the first time in history, decided to remain neutral. With all of these countries as one large alliance, a major world dominating power,(comma should be there) if you would,it left the USA with Japan, the Middle-East, France, and their scattered followers throughout the rest of the world.
**This whole part of the second paragraph honestly doesn't make that much sense to me. I understand the basic gist of it, but it doesn't tell you what Drayden and his fellow politicians had tried determinedly to do. It also doesn't describe what the large alliance left the USA and their followers to do. Did they become one alliance? Did they all hate each other? What were they left to do?
[I've made revisions above.]


In the fourth paragraph, this: being called home immediately; Japan and the Middle-East doesn't need to be a semi-colon. It needs to be a period. There is no need for a semi-colon. It's not part of the same sentence.

In the fourth paragraph, this: defend the US; and France also needs to be a comma, and you need to take out the word, "and."

In the last paragraph, the second sentence, Negotiations are being made; families reconciled for losses; bodies being recovered from massive graveyards. - There doesn't need to be semi-colons in there, just commas.



In the year 2025, a new leader came into rule over Canada. Drayden Paquette III, a descendant of a long line of socialist, fascist, tyrants in the political fields. He, as well as many other powerful Canadian politicians, felt tired and aggravated with the way that the country was viewed: as a doormat, an ‘innocent’, ‘peaceful’, place for all other countries to walk on and take advantage of. Their biggest annoyance was the United States of America. As it was, Canada had always held a quiet grudge with the USA over their gain of the Alaskan territory; but over the mass amount of years that had passed since that loss, the number of immigrants, miscreants, and over-all intolerable had grown to a sickening rate in Canada. By 2013, when the USA had finally declared victory over the Middle-East and gained complete control of the territory, the major cities of Calgary, Vancouver, Edmonton, and essentially twenty five percent of the British Columbian region were crawling with American illegal and legal immigrants, and tourists; who were all very disrespectful to the customs and laws, and were devoid of cleanliness.

By 2029, political hero and ruler of Canada, Drayden Paquette III, had been able to gain allegiance with North Korea, whose leader was Hyun Tsai; China, whose leader was Jianguo Hsing; Germany, whose leader was Broderick Skeffington; and Russia, whose leader was Igorek Dolgopolva. In short, Canada had gained a huge advantage over the USA in a matter of 4 years with one man. Though he and his fellow politicians had tried determinedly, England and Great Britain had for what was most likely the first time in history, decided to remain neutral. With all of these countries as one large alliance, a major world dominating power if you would, it left the USA with Japan, the Middle-East, France, and their scattered followers throughout the rest of the world.

On November 14, 2029, Canada led an organized series of rebellion attacks in Seattle, Washington; Duluth, Minnesota; and Saginaw, Michigan. Each attack involved mass shootings, explosions, and hostage situations. Though very few casualties were obtained (apparently Canada’s focus was not to follow in Adolf Hitler’s footsteps), it sent a very powerful message to our leaders and president, Henry Greyson. But the full was not sent until November 20 of the same year, when North Korea, under command of Canada, launched a nuclear warhead into the atmosphere as a warning to the US, and turned its weapons to face Hawaii and Florida.

By December 3, 2029, it was made nationally clear that World War III had begun against the USA, and was being intensely fought on the US mainland. Borders became heavily armed, especially the Canadian border; troops being stationed in foreign countries were being called home immediately; Japan and the Middle-East were being prepared for defensive strategies and deployments to defend the US; and France was supposedly working on getting intelligence that would aid the US ultimately. The country was in a panic, but somehow the president was managing to keep order and partial calm through all of the growing chaos. Entire cities in the northern region were being evacuated into concentrated ‘safe-zones’, families were saying goodbye to young men and women who were being sent to defend, and drafts were being put in to place.

Now, in the year 2041, the third worldly war is over, and white flags have been flown. Negotiations are being made; families reconciled for losses; bodies being recovered from massive graveyards. One fallen soldier in particular is being honored as a great hero, and awarded perhaps the noblest medal the US military has to offer, even in his death. His name was Samuel Johnson, his friends called him Socom; he was Marine Major and decorated sharpshooter and leader. He was a hero in this war, a true life saver and powerful driver of motivation and determination. He was my brother. This story is about his life and death fighting for what he believed in with his platoons and friends during a war that is being called the largest tragedy since 1945. It is about the great sacrifices and accomplishments he made that have gained him the Purple Heart, a medal of honor only the truest of heroes gain.
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