That was a very illiterate and mary-sue-y profile.
Keep working on it!

-Forensic (The [grammatical freak] little twin!)

Twin, I hope that you don't mind me adding on to your list...

6. Not everyone who's pretty is a self-centered ass. Even Aphrodite isn't that bad.
7. Ever heard of proper capitalization? I don't mean to come off as rude but seriously. Would it kill you to italicize instead of capitalize?
8. We're not idiots, we know what a female is.
9. Your constant '...'s are seriously pissing me off.

Just some things to work on. (:

I believe our work here is done for the moment, Twin!

Ummm... It's not a Dark Daughter's ritual, it's a school one, so your chick wouldn't be setting up for it, Horsey.

Name: Aliby.

Nickname: Ali.
Age: 16.
Personality: Kind, honest, reliable, and very caring.
Appearance: Brown hair, slender, brown eyes with a hint of green, and is a bit short.
Affinity: Water.
Gender: Female.
Theme Songs: Colbie Caillat- It stops today.
Bio: Aliby was born and raised in a quite town in New Hampshire with her really nice parents and really annoying younger sister who followed her around. She attended a horseback riding academy for middle shcool and some of high school with her amazing black horse, Amor. Although she had to sell him and move to Germany beacause thats were the rest of her family was and her parents wanted to be closer to them (Even tough Abily begged to stay in New Hampshire with her horse and freinds and that she didn't even like Germany). She was just settling in when she was marked. (She was marked only a week ago.)
Role: Student.

I edited. =)

I edited. =)

I edited. =)

(Evil double post thing. -.-)

Would you care to give us more background information than "She was marked a week ago and she just moved to Germany"?

This good?

I was hoping for more of a paragraph and some more insight on her past...

Does this seem better? Or should I add more?

Name: Hoshi Morikaze
Picture
Nickname: Hoshi
Age: 16
Personality: She's always been a bit shy but ever since she was marked and found her try place, she's been slowly coming out of her shell. She's a sweet girl but no one ever has given her a chance because people think that she's stuck up because she's smart and studies. Though she has been picked on before she almost never says anything mean to other people. No matter how much they've hurt her. She believes that good is in everyone and never likes to make judgements
Appearance: She has long black hair and eyes and is very short for her age. She wears glasses a lot but is told that she looks better without them. She's still too shy to go completely without them.
Affinity: She's able to feel the emotions of those around her and can be somewhat effected if the emotion is strong enough
Gender: Female
Theme Songs: I See You By Leona Lewis
Bio: Hoshi grew up in Japan with a more traditional Japanese family. Her father has had to move around a lot for work so she's always been the new kid wherever she goes. From her early childhood she became very dedicated to being more traditional so when she met other kids who were more in touch with the modern world, she was clueless and thus bullied. She has always been shy because of that. Though she has been bullied she makes sure to always study and be the best at it; believing that as long as she's smart. She'll at least be connected to people through knowledge. Though she's been hurt by many different people, she never raises her voice at them or thinks badly of them. She finally got marked only a month ago right when her family had moved to Germany for her father's work again. Though now that she is marked she knows she will have to stay there, she still misses her homeland of Japan.
Role: Student