Writer's Note: This is a bit of backstory on one of my characters,
Taretha Rake. The song (or rather, orchestral composition) I'm drawing inspiration from is James Horner's soundtrack from the movie "A Beautiful Mind", particularly this specific section, the second movement after which this songfic is named after. If you want to listen to it, here it is --
A Beautiful Mind (Playing a Game of 'Go')
No, she wouldn't.
Yes, she would.
No, she wouldn't.
Yes, she would.
Stop it. The both of you. You know we're not allowed to talk about her.
Why? That's stupid.
You're stupid.
I said, stop it! Leave him alone. And it's not stupid, it's common sense? What if her demons come around and overhear you? She might come back...
So? We can fight her off. She's a cold witch --
No, she's a cold bi --
Enough! Darren, Nicholas, go inside. Missy will deal with you two in the kitchens.
But...
No buts. Inside.
Fine. Meanie.
Why is she so mean? What've we done?
I can't believe it... after all these years. Somehow I can't.
And she was always such a good girl. Why would she decide to expunge herself from...?
Rake. Oh, Rakey girl. Taretha Rake. Why would you? Now you're a heretic. Is this what you wanted?
No. I never wanted this. I never needed this. Don't ask me why I'm like this, because I can't answer you.
You're only saying that because now, it's turned you into a power-hungry monster. How can you look at yourself in the mirror every day, knowing that you're like this?
Stop it! Just stop! I've had enough of you telling me that. I've never wanted to be alone. To be banished because of this curse.
You've never repented.
Why would I repent for something that's not my fault?
Just do it. Or God will hate you for all eternity. And think of Marissa. Your so-called best friend that abandoned you when she learned who you were. Don't you want her back? Don't you want it all back?
Repenting won't change a thing, anyway. It'll just be me groveling on the floor, weeping over things I have no control over, and someone telling me that He's Pleased With Me.
Avoiding the question, I see. Very smooth, Taretha. The devil's taught you well.
I said, stop it!
Fine, fine. Burn in Gehenna for all eternity. See if I care. But just remember, I've told you once. I've told you twice. And you've never listened.
I won't dignify that lie with an answer. If I could change this side of me, I would in a heartbeat. Take my powers. Take my immortality. I don't care. Just give me back my family.
And yet you answered me. Such emotion, girl! Such basal passions! This is why you couldn't be anything better than this, a retarded, self-hating heretic witch. I finally understand why you're so stupid. It was a hard thing to comprehend, your idiocy, and I'm not used to such incompetence. But I get it now.
I'm going mad. I truly am.
Even my conscience is telling me I am. My lenient, vice-filled conscience.
Why? Why now? Why so late?
I'm so happy, I could just die. Now I know I've been dancing in the dark without a light this entire time.
And I loved it.
I hated forgetting things when I was younger. But now I know that amnesia is the greatest gift of all. I wish someone would give me that gift. In this moment, this guilt I can't stand.
Would anyone be so kind as to punch my lights out?