The Shadow in the Corner

A soulless creature steps out of the black abyss
this abyss is a lost soul
the creature is shapeless, a formless entity
of what was once a little girls heart
forgotten by time and space
she wanders
hopelessly confused as the world around her crumbles
receded to a shadow
dwelling in the corner of a all worlds.

Just something I wrote while being bored in Health class. Any feedback is much appreciated.


FlooD

Water drips from stained walls
the smell of black mold eating it away
lights flicker in the other room but are snuffed out
the room folds into shades of ash and onyx
ink covered pages lay upon the floor
scattered
torn
a mirror hangs askew on the wall
tainted with memories of faces
faces of the past
with broken souls
the murky water soaks down to the floor
covering the worn rug that lays on it
down through the dark wood
to the ceiling of the apartment beloW

I also wrote this, but in Math class. The wording isn't what it could be but I'd still like comments and feedback if you have any.

Thanks for reading!

Hey there, DendrophobicPoet! I like your username. xD

Anyways, I'm Sato, and I'm glad to have read your poems here!

"The Shadow In the Corner" being written during a health class strikes me as a beautiful irony, that's almost just .. adding a bit more to the poem itself, in a way. It's bleak in a way, yet striking. I can imagine the scene being sketched out onto delicate white paper with a really thin, sharp series of lines.

"FlooD" presents some truly interesting images, scents, smells. You know what I'd like to see you do, actually? Write a follow-up poem to this, but about a house fire instead. Perhaps compare and contrast the damage done in each situation. Replicate it off this thread. The difference between both elements wreaking havoc, yet one canceling out the effects of the other (essentially) is neat.

Please, please, come bad and keep posting!

-VV