Awwwww, you perv, you clicked on it!! :) Kidding, of course.

I am sort of curious as to why you clicked on this thread with a title like that. Then again, why not, huh? Heh heh

Anywho, to my point. I pointed this out to my girlfriend as she was forcing me to watch True Blood on DVD (I got more than three-quarters through the first season before I could not handle it anymore) which is how the hell is a male vampire able to have sex if he is dead?

What I mean is that vampires do not have a heartbeat (they are also described as lacking a pulse in True Blood) and yet they still somehow manage to have sex with all of these young human women. With no heartbeat pumping blood through their body just how do they get it up? I mean, is it rigor mortise (please correct my spelling if it is wrong)? And if it is rigor mortise then (aside from the fact that they are having sex with someone who is essentially dead to begin with) how freaking disgusting is that!?!? lol Also, if that is the explanation then is that why vampires never wear sweatpants because they can never get rid of their erection?

what is going on here!? I'm not just posting this up as a rant, I am actually looking for some answers! So in all of the vampire lore you have read whether it is old lore or the modernized, romanticized vampire of today, have you ever come across an actually explanation for this ultimate phenomenon?

I suppose I can understand a female vampire still being able to be sexually active (though I would have to imagine that certain juices would no longer be produced by a body that is pretty much not functioning) but it is still more plausible than a male vampire being capable.

I understand the popular lore of a vampire's glamour effect but that is not sex; it is just seduction. Even Dracula seduced women (even kissed them) but I do not believe he ever actually had sex with them.

Personally, I am still a fan of the vampire character, I am just not pleased with the vampires of today (as in the sparkly, day-walking, vegetarian types). I guess I'm just old fashioned, huh? Don't get me wrong. I am not one of those fantasy readers who despises the change that has been made to elves and dwarves over the years (Has there been any? Another topic for another thread for another day) but when those changes start taking away all of the things that makes those characters what they are then I become sort of irked. What IS a vampire if he doesn't drink blood and is able to walk underneath the sun? He's an immortal human being with sharp teeth and lack of a pulse; NOT a vampire.

Sorry for the rambling. This concludes my, er, whatever this is.

-RogueMinstrel

Technically so long as there's bloodflow, you're all good. Perhaps not in the sense that you can reproduce, but you could fulfill the title of the thread at the least.

PS I thought it was a twillight rant, which are always good fun.

LOL I see where you might think it is a Twilight rant. I hope that it is not scaring off other people. Anyways, the lack of blood flow is just my problem.

O.o Well, not MY problem. Vampires' problems. lol

Vampires are undead (though I have heard the argument that they are not undead but rather just another form of life) but regardless of if they are undead or not (I still say they are), they are still lacking blood flow as their hearts do not beat. No pumping heart; no blood flow; noooooo erection. It's like the ultimate form of impotence, really.

Hey there, RogueMinstrel! I've moved this thread from the main Creative Realm index to that of the Discussion & Debate forum, where you can hopefully get some more traffic.

Thanks!

I've had the same thought soooooo many times! I agree with you: no blood = no erection = no sex. It's common sense. The only explanation I have is that sex sells. And since vampires are the hot thing right now, the vampires have sex, despite the impossibility of real vampires being able to or their lack of desire for sex. I mean, if you were immortal, would sex really be the first thing on your mind? Personally I would focus on taking over the world first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9rUaJOz7jg

That is all.

That technically depends on what sort of 'Vampire' you're dealing with.

Vampire is already a fantasy element in and of itself, so we're already accepting that reality is a bit warped in a world where they exist.

Some Vampire's are not technically dead, they're 'undead' meaning they were brought back to life and have a heart-beat. They're just a supernatural creature.

The Stephanie Meyer Vampire's really aren't a race of Vampire's at all, if you're following the general knowledge about them. The only thing Vampiric about them is their feeding on blood, which plenty of other creature's are known to do. The fact that they stopped aging after they were bitten doesn't mean they're dead, either. Although I haven't read the books and don't honestly know if they mentioned not having a pulse or not, but I do know that they are said to have 'Diamond Skin' that's somewhat stiff and cold, but that's still not 'dead'.

If we're dealing with traditionally dead corpses that have a bloodlust then that fits the bill more of a zombie then anything else.

ViceVersus wrote:Hey there, RogueMinstrel! I've moved this thread from the main Creative Realm index to that of the Discussion & Debate forum, where you can hopefully get some more traffic.

Thanks!

Always looking out for me! That's why you're the shit, Vice. :)

An c'mon! We all know you've just got to have an opinion on this all-too interesting subject. Or watch the video from The Painkiller's link. I might not have put this thread up had I known about that particular video. LOL

iMinstrelsy wrote:That technically depends on what sort of 'Vampire' you're dealing with.

Vampire is already a fantasy element in and of itself, so we're already accepting that reality is a bit warped in a world where they exist.

Some Vampire's are not technically dead, they're 'undead' meaning they were brought back to life and have a heart-beat. They're just a supernatural creature.

The Stephanie Meyer Vampire's really aren't a race of Vampire's at all, if you're following the general knowledge about them. The only thing Vampiric about them is their feeding on blood, which plenty of other creature's are known to do. The fact that they stopped aging after they were bitten doesn't mean they're dead, either. Although I haven't read the books and don't honestly know if they mentioned not having a pulse or not, but I do know that they are said to have 'Diamond Skin' that's somewhat stiff and cold, but that's still not 'dead'.

If we're dealing with traditionally dead corpses that have a bloodlust then that fits the bill more of a zombie then anything else.

Valid point!! With the current vampire craze going on there really have been many, many incantations of the popular vampire myth. I guess my question really came from my girlfriend's fascination with the HBO series True Blood (and now she is reading the books!). They clearly state in that series that vampires do not have a heartbeat and yet sex is a big theme in that series (I still laugh hysterically at the term 'fang-bangers'). However, I am not someone to shoot down any creative idea just because it is part of the current mainstream so I gladly admit that I did watch True Blood.

I only watched the first season, though. lol I'll even go on record and say that I think True Blood probably has one of the best vampire incantations that is currently out there on the mainstream that I would feel comfortable comparing to Anne Rice if I only knew a little bit more about her and her series (I only saw the one Interview movie). Still, after the first season of True Blood I fell out of it pretty damn quick as they started getting real out there with the Faeries, the Sirens, and all that jazz.

I've also seen all of the Twilight movies... in theaters... and I hated my life the entire time. LOL I mention this, though because it was also in that series that I noticed a few times it was mentioned that their vampires did not have heart beats.

The "Diamond Skin" is new to me but I have only heard of the name Stephanie Meyer and do not know of her work.

Thanks a lot for your comment and thanks even more if you made it all the way to the end of mine! :)

As far as I can tell, the only viable explanation is that they use fairy dust (or the dark magic of your choice) to artificially induce an erection in themselves. Since it's clear that there's a mechanism aside from the scientifically accepted one going on here, and seeing as I don't want to know any more about this stuff than I absolutely have to, I'm going with the "it's fucking magic" excuse.

Now, whether or not they're able to ejaculate is a different matter entirely, but seeing as that's a result of muscular contraction and glandular activity, neither of which are hard to accept...yeah.

qbsuperstar03 wrote:As far as I can tell, the only viable explanation is that they use fairy dust (or the dark magic of your choice) to artificially induce an erection in themselves. Since it's clear that there's a mechanism aside from the scientifically accepted one going on here, and seeing as I don't want to know any more about this stuff than I absolutely have to, I'm going with the "it's fucking magic" excuse.

Now, whether or not they're able to ejaculate is a different matter entirely, but seeing as that's a result of muscular contraction and glandular activity, neither of which are hard to accept...yeah.

So glad to have disturbed you! xD Yet that was the dreaded result I fear.

In the end I think QB and viper45 have it pretty much down. Sex sells and vampires are in the limelight and so many of these shows just like to explain it off with some random magical sensation simply because sex sells.

Oh well. I wasn't expecting a lot from the question! lol

I have no idea. I'm not a fan of vampire romance literature but I've always wondered the same. I'm going to go with viper45 - vampires are very popular at the moment, and people know that they can make a lot of money by writing about them. People also know that sex sells. Add the two together, and you get vampires with erections. It'd be interesting (and kind of weird...) if an author went into detail why one day.

DestroytheOrcs wrote:
Anywho, to my point. I pointed this out to my girlfriend as she was forcing me to watch True Blood on DVD (I got more than three-quarters through the first season before I could not handle it anymore)

I did not force you to watch it, you like it and you know it, hahaha :) You know you love "Sook-eh" and "Beel" as much as I do. lol

As someone who has been forced to watch True Blood (i.e. everyone sat around watching it while I furiously drowned my sorrows with some Angry Birds), I feel for ya.

All I can say is that I've just completely ignored vampires ever since Twilight came out. The discussion thread has me leaning back towards legitimate vampires, but as of right now I'm still wary of the teen's section at Barns & Noble. Why? Because every single one of them has a title like...

"Everlasting."

"Vampire Academy: Last Sacrifice."

"Vampire Diaries."

"Bite me."

"In the ass."

"With your fangs."

Anyway, my rant is over.

I honestly don't even think it is a vampire craze anymore. I think it is the idea of a forbidden and eternal love element. You got all of these prepubescent teens in love with the idea of falling for the rebel they're not supposed to (and what is more rebellious than sleeping with a corpse, right?), sex as is on pretty much every teen's mind, and living forever with amazing powers. So that's it! It's not even about vampires anymore.

This is my conclusion. It'll take the Force of God to get me to change on this!

DestroytheOrcs wrote:I honestly don't even think it is a vampire craze anymore. I think it is the idea of a forbidden and eternal love element. You got all of these prepubescent teens in love with the idea of falling for the rebel they're not supposed to (and what is more rebellious than sleeping with a corpse, right?), sex as is on pretty much every teen's mind, and living forever with amazing powers. So that's it! It's not even about vampires anymore.

Given that the vast majority of "vampires" in YA paranormal romance have absolutely nothing to do with vampire lore and mythology, I have to agree on that.

I really don't mind romance involving vampires if it's well-written and creative. My girlfriend is currently writing a vampire "romance", and I'm loving it. (And by that, I mean I'm darn jealous of it. X3) What I dislike is when writers ignore vampire mythology in order to turn their "vampires" into nonthreatening sex objects. There always has been the sexual side to vampires, but when writers focus on it to the exclusion of everything else that has to do with vampires, it's just dull and silly.

Besides, I've never understood the appeal of being in love with an undead monster that could subject you to an eternity of a cursed existence...

Well, vampires in romantic settings kind of have to overlook the fact that you need flowing blood to get hard. Because, let's be honest, trying to get a flaccid penis into a vagina would make for a pretty awkward moment. I see this mostly as a logical fallacy, which may contribute to the fact that most of these vampire love stories tend to be utter crap (I'm looking at you, Stephanie Meyer). Well, there's your sex-ed for the day!

If I can remember correctly vampires in Old World of Darkness could become erect by utilising blood in the same way that they use it to enhance their strength. It was described as pretty much pointless though as vampires could not reach orgasm that way. As far as Stephanie Myer , Laurel K Hamilton and their army of demented sweaty nymphomaniac knock offs goes I could not give a shit because they have no idea of how to write a good story (Hint Millis and Boon with vampires and werewolves is neither engaging or interesting) and have done their best at ruining both the horror genre and even Western spirituality at the same time(Look now the Fay are Paris Hilton). I can't imagine how angry our ancestors would be to see their religion and beliefs trashed in that way - they would probably hack whoever was responsible to death with an axe...

As has been mentioned above, I can get behind sex and vampires in continuities where vampires are simply forms of supernatural life, but I'm with you on the "they don't have a heartbeat, they shouldn't be able to get it up!" argument. Female vampires too--the same blood-to-business flow occurs in female arousal, albeit in a slightly different configuration of organs, so really, no heartbeat, no hard on.

BASICALLY, the modern vampire completely ignores any forms of vampire lore that don't fit their needs, and considering we live in a society where "sex sells" even more than ever, and people who don't actually have a story to tell (or have a bad one, or just want to get their story sold to as many people as possible before someone realizes it's terrible) use that sex-appeal in place of biological accuracy.

Silly vampires. Boners are for the living!