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My story

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My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ken on Sat Nov 22, 2008 11:20 am

This isn't like the other posts. I am going to post peices of a story. I made up most of it, so it won't be a roleplay, I'm going to be all of the players. BUT, Every time i end a section, I wan't you guys to tell me what I, the main character should do next. I thought this might be fun.

I sat on the porch, looking at the dreary sky. Me and my family were on vacation, at a beach resort, but the last two days had been overcast, and the only people I had to hang out with were my parents and my four year old sister. So, I sat on the porch, bored. I was seventeen, and had wanted to do this trip with my freinds, but my parents wanted "bonding time", so we were here alone. I started to doze off, when I heard a car pull up. I watched as two adults and three kids got out, and started unpacking. There was a boy, and two girls. One girl looked older than the others, the boy looked about my age. The other girl may have been just a little younger. By the way they were acting towards eachother, I knew they were siblings. I absentmindedly watched them. The oldest girl wore a pair of cutoff shorts.
"Yeah right," I thought to myself after about two seconds of thinking of asking her out. "She's way over me." I walk back inside, and see my parents at the table, reading.
"Hey ken," They said. "There's a couple of kids that just moved into the cabin across from ours," Said my mom. "Mabey you could hang out with them."
"Sure mom," I said.

What should I do now?

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Ken
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Re: My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Tanitanaw on Sat Nov 22, 2008 12:51 pm

Haha, give this a try.
How about, you go over to the house, because your mother figures it would be polite to welcome the new neighboors.Your father agrees, you're trapped. Introduce yourself to the older girl.

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Re: My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ken on Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:16 pm

Ok, haha.

"Let's go over there and say hi," said my dad. Great, I think. I just wanted this vacation to be done. We walked to the cabin, adn my dad knocked. A balding man in his late forties answered. "We're in the cabin across, we just wanted to say hello," said my dad. The man ushered us in, and introduced us to his wife, and the two youngest kids. he said that the eldest, Jenny, was in her room. The guy, Clark, was 18, and his younger sister, Katrina was 15. Our parents started to talk, and I looked over at them. We walked out back, and sat on the porch. Katrina didn't come, she went upstairs.

"You're a lifesaver,man," I said. "I thought I was gonna be stuck here with my parents for two weeks..."

"Hey," he said. "at least you don't have any sisters." I grinned, laughing. He laughed too, and chucked a rock at the fencepost. The back door opened. I turned, and found myself face to face with a pair of cutoff shorts.

"Whoah," I said, leaning back a little. I saw that it was his sister.

"Sorry," She said, stepping back. she extended her hand. I took it. "I'm Jenny," she said.

"Ken," I replied. she was still gripping my hand. she looked at her brother then me. she giggled, and went back inside.

I looked at clark. "She's kinda obsessed with 'boys'," He said, laughing at me.

"Shit," I said. "Just what I need." I chucked a rock at the fence.

What shoud I do next?

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Re: My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby albel cigaro on Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:19 pm

Try to question Clark a little bit. Personal things would be fine but if that does not work bringing up his "boy crazy" sister might be entertaing if one considers what may have been impyed by the last sentece. Any return questioning on Clark's part would be good.
DO NOT WANT ...my post to be rated.

If you feel like critiquing any post that I make please do it though PM as I find it much more informative than a simple number

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Re: My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ken on Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:45 pm

He laughed again.

"So, have you come out here before?" He asked me.

"We come out every other year," I reply, chucking another rock. "You?" I ask.

"I've never been here, but my sister comes with her freinds a lot," he tells me. He grins. "She was going nuts. There's all this stuff she wanted to show us. Could you tag along?" He asked. "I'm gonna be stuck with THEM" he said, rolling his eyes.

What should I do?

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Re: My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby holaagurl14 on Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:56 pm

I think you should go along. It would be good for you to get out with them, considering how you have been stuck in the house, wanting something to do. Plus, you would get to hang out with his "boy crazy" sister, and isn't that always a good thing?
She wonders "Why?" Does anyone ever hear her when she cries? This is the dark before the dawn. The storm before the peace. Don't be afraid, the seasons change.

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Re: My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ken on Wed Dec 03, 2008 8:30 pm

"Ok," I said. "I'll convince my parents to let me go." I stood up. We went back inside. Our parents were talking. Clarks sisters ran down the stairs. Jenny looked exited.

"Mom, Dad, we're going out in the boat, ok?" She said to them. They waved to her. I looked at my parents, shrugging my shoulders. They nodded, and we went out to the shore.

Their boat looked pretty impressive to me. "Whoah, this is yours?" I say, grinning.

"You like it?" asked Jenny. "Me and my freinds own it. We go allover the shore in it." We climb onto the thing, and she pulls it off of the dock. We drift onto the sea. I fall asleep in the seat.

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Re: My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Tanitanaw on Fri Dec 05, 2008 12:11 am

Perhaps what happens next is Ken gets waked up by water pouring on his face. It's rain, and there is a storm. Jenny is rowing the boat as fast as she can, but it's not working. The two of them are getting farther away from the shore. They have to swim, as the boat fills continually up with water. Jenny starts to drown, and Ken has trouble saving her, lots of trouble. Try that?

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Re: My story

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ken on Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:30 pm

OOC: PLOT TWIST! I like it--

IC: I awoke to Water pouring over me. I stood up.
"What the hell?" I said, looking around. Dark clouds obscured the sky. The waves thrashed against our boat, pouring water into it. The shore looked way further than it had been. Jenny struggled with the oars, while Clark and Katrina dumped water out with buckets. I grabbed a bucket, and started to puor as well.

"We're out too far, the storm took us!" Hollered Jenny. A huge wave came, knocking our boat over. I floated underwater a second, then returned to the surface. I kicked off my shoes, so I could swim, and saw Clark and Katrina swilling for the shore. Jenny was over by the boat, unwilling to give it up.

"We have to get to shore!" I called to her.

"I can't leave our boat!" She said. A wave knocked it into her, and I saw her go under. I swam to her, and pulled her onto my chest. She was unconcious. I pulled her against me, and sidestoked towards the beach.

I finaly reached the shore, and dragged myself onto the sand. Katrina and Clark were there, panting on the side. Jenny laid aslleep, but breathing.

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