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Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby ViceVersus on Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:24 pm

"But I'm still not really sure how that's any different than Mayonnaise!"
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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Mon Jan 28, 2013 5:45 pm

"So the mucus was just coming out like a waterfall, and nobody had towels, forget about towels, nobody even had tissues..."
Like a stranger on a grate, or a skylark, or a taper, flying ever upward and knowing of love's satiety. Our dreams beyond the Sun and into the expanse of Night doth sound a quiet hymn.

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby ViceVersus on Tue Jan 29, 2013 3:20 pm

Any story that ends with " .. And it was a cockroach."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby WaltJRimmer on Tue Jan 29, 2013 4:15 pm

(Challenge accepted! All these will end with, ".. And it was a cockroach.")

"Me? Oh, yeah! Everyone's had the kissing dream. This one time I thought I was kissing Summer Glau, but then I woke up..."

"I thought, 'This is probably the best tasting steak I've ever had.' So, I asked them what their secret was..."

"I reached in my pocket, held what I thought was my phone to my ear, only realizing too late. And you know what? ..." "And then it tried to crawl in my ear!"

"Back in the 6th grade, I thought I would try to impress a teacher who liked me but I was doing poorly in her class by giving her a near perfect, shined apple. As soon as I put it on her desk, I thought I saw something crawling on it..."
"And that... Is all I can tell you." - The Bard.

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby PandaPrincess on Sun Feb 03, 2013 6:51 pm

No, the monkey isn't why I'm here tonight... What? No, no, that's not what I wanted to talk about. Look Leno, I know you took my dress, and I want it back!

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Mon Feb 11, 2013 10:51 pm

"Oh bloody hell, I was drunk, you were drunk, that midget was drunk. We all have regrets, Jimmy."
Last edited by VindicatedPurpose on Tue Feb 12, 2013 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby The Nebulous Phoenix on Tue Feb 12, 2013 6:12 am

"...anyway, you do not want to see those stitches, trust me."
“Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?”

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:00 pm

"They say that, 'when life gives you lemons'...that old woman did not see what was coming."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Bosch on Tue Feb 12, 2013 5:26 pm

"So I wake up in this shady looking motel room, hungover as all get out, and Christopher Walken is still there puffing on this cigar while trying to show me some knuckle dusters he found. Oh what we gotta go to commercial? Long story short the cops never found the Albino but the Polish guy had to retire the next day."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Tue Feb 12, 2013 6:15 pm

"Hahaha! Yeah, I'm pretty sure what I did to that tiger is gonna keep PETA on me for the next couple of years."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby The_Sickness on Wed Feb 13, 2013 5:20 pm

"Well it all started with a live chicken, a weed eater, and some cool whip...."
To every U.S. soldier THANK YOU!

I'll make your headache
I'll make you fall to the floor
Me and the Devil in your mind want to settle score
I'll make your heart break
You know I do what I please
Like a bullet in a gun I just give it a squeeze

And cry sister make it rain.
It makes no difference, you'll never see me again.
Cry Sister, Royal Bliss

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:15 pm

"Long story short, I buried the body in Mike Tyson's backyard."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Tue Feb 19, 2013 6:55 pm

"And, well, it was pretty awkward, but it had nothing on that night I spend tripped out on peyote in Bangkok, lemme tell ya. I don't think the stains ever came out."
The Canticle of Fate: Silver Lion Stanza
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"Though I am flesh, Your Light is ever present,
And those I have called, they remember,
And they shall endure."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby WaltJRimmer on Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:11 pm

"Well, it all started when I snuck into the SVR headquarters..."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Wed Feb 20, 2013 4:58 pm

"...and it all ended with a bloody nose, a sedan chair, and several months in prison."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:10 pm

"So you can see...it was a seamless transition from dead babies to pitchforks..."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby The_Sickness on Thu Feb 28, 2013 10:17 am

I really don't know how it started but I do know tequila, a bearded lady, and some rodeo clowns were involved.

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby WaltJRimmer on Thu Feb 28, 2013 4:12 pm

"They used to talk about the butcher of road thirty seven? Well, let's just say I used to stand out there for hours with overalls, a mask and a big old ax, scaring everyone that went by."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Thu Feb 28, 2013 9:50 pm

"Now where was I? Oh yes, the cows and the syphilis incident. Well, it all went down a few years ago on Halloween..."

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Re: Bad Anecdotes to Tell on a Celebrity Talk Show

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:12 pm

*wipes tear from eye*

"Oh my God, it was funny. She was screaming, "'Don't do it!' We had a nice laugh afterwards...well...she wasn't there to laugh, so...I kinda laughed for the both of us."

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