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Being bored at work makes you do crazy things

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A place for original short stories, fanfiction, essays, and the like.

Being bored at work makes you do crazy things

Tips: 1.00 INK Postby TushoKa on Fri Oct 30, 2020 11:41 am

Hi all,
Just a short story I wrote some time ago, hope you enjoy :-)


Martin was sitting in his office. He was working on a lifelong project of his. He shouldn't be, but he was a rebel. He had given himself paper medals for the difficult tasks that he had completed already since he started his rebel existence. His last victory had been his greatest one. He literally bored his colleague to death. The lifeless body was lying next to the desk that was once the dead man’s empire. Martin had conquered it now, now he had two desks. Nobody else in the office had noticed the war, or the man’s death for that matter. Soon they would notice, the heat outside the building would make sure that foul smelling fumes would come from the corpse that was normally okay-smelling at most. The new fumes would make them wonder if something was the matter, they wouldn't learn what was going on until it was already too late. This is how the nuclear war would start and how it would end their pitiful lives. Sooner or later all of the office would be ruled by the Rebel. Hey, that sounded good, Martin would not only be a rebel, it would also be his name. He would be feared throughout the lands known as Office.

As Martin was thinking about his age of domination his computer screen showed the Screen Saver once again. The vermin was easily fought, but never really defeated. Martin had heard of a legend, the one and only creature that could annihilate the rat like vermin called Screen Saver, it's name was IT. Legend has that IT was even able to reform Screen Saver into something else. Martin believed in no legend but one, the Legend of the Rebel, Martin the Rebel.

Martins project seemed to come to an end. An end that would be the start of great things. It looked like the most perfect structured object ever made by men. Some had tried to make it, but they had failed miserably. Wrong folds made their construction into an abomination. His paper folded airplane had succeeded where others had failed. The streamlined object could last in the air for much longer than others of its kind. Probably, Martin would be able to strike the kingdom of the one they call Julius. There was one problem, after a strike the paper plane would be severely damaged. It was the material that made it so it wouldn't survive an impact. Plus, if a plane crashed in enemy territory the technique would be known to the enemy. That was the last thing that the Rebel wanted. He had worked too hard for it to just throw the secrets of his invention on the street like that. He could only use the weapon if he was sure to win the war in a short amount of time.

So far, he had conquered one desk and he still had three to go. Was it possible that they would have an alliance? Would they work together against him? If so the Rebel had to work in utmost secrecy. He would have to conquer the countries one by one in silence.
While Martin was thinking of war strategies, a great opportunity arose. The only Queen of the lands known as Office, Queen Joleen, stood up from her throne to undertake a journey through the lands. According to the Rebel it was a name to laugh at, and he often did without hesitation. Danger was rising as there was a possibility that she might discover the dead man’s body, just a few steps away from her. The Rebel would have to take her out, and fast. Martin turned around in his throne, which had very convenient wheels, and faced the ugly queen.

“Your time has come devil woman,” Martin said with a whisper.
After that he jumped out of his throne and tackled the surprised queen to the floor. Al she could bring out was a gasp for air. Martin used his pen, put it in her nose and shoved it up as far as he could. Immediately he could see that she was drained from all life. He dumped her body on top of the body of the former emperor. As quick as he could he sat back in his throne. It didn't look like the other countries had noticed anything. King Julius was still sleeping, something the ancient king always seemed to do. President Casper was listening to one of his demon devices. It always seemed like he had amazing knowledge and the most advanced technology. But it seemed that the young president wasn't going for Office domination. A foolish decision, as it was either kill or be killed in Office. A ruthless, even barbarian world. But at least it wasn't as bad as the other dimension called bathroom. At some moments a door would be opened to the other dimension, but because of the stench it was hard to come near enough to close the opening.

At that moment President Casper looked up and stared Martin right in the face.
“Where is Joleen,” the young man asked.
“Bathroom,” came out the Rebels mouth. The lie had come to him easily, but would the young man believe it? He was said to be smart, so maybe he would notice any suspicious behavior of the future Office ruler.
“My goodness, that makes her braver than me,” the man said with a slight smile on his face. Martin smiled back to not come across as rude. The president seemed to accept it as he put the futuristic earmuffs on and once again listened to his folklore. Maybe Martin could kill him while the old king was still asleep. He had to do it without a sound. He stood up and walked slowly around the lands until he was standing right behind the seat of the slightly adolescent boy. He grabbed the man’s head with his arms ready to break his neck like a twig. The young responded quickly and with his hands he grabbed the Rebel's arms.

“I'm doing just what the old prophecy predicts, I'm taking over,” with a maniacal laugh Martin broke his neck and anyone around could hear the actual cracking.
“Do you really think you could get away with this, Rebel.”
The old king had woken up and was now silently smiling. He seemed relaxed, too relaxed. But then, how would you look after years of resting? Martin backed away to his own desk with a scared look on his face. This wasn't going as planned, the old man knew his name, how was this possible?

“You have dug your own grave, Rebel. Soon the Galaxy Peacekeepers will come and get you, and when they do, I will rule Office forever.”
Martin didn't understand. Why did he not see that? It was known that old people could be sneaky like this, but Martin fell for it all the way. Had the old man actually been sleeping, or merely raised the suspicion that he was. Martin had no choice the time had come to use his ultimate weapon. He took the plane from his desk and threw it at the fossil on the other end of the room. It was beautiful, fast and it went straight through the air. Martins body filled up with pride. Soon after being thrown the plane arrived at its destination, the left eye of the person that just forgot to die so many years before. Martin was shocked when the plane didn't have the effect that it should have had. The glasses of the lively corpse had worked as a protection. The great creation lay on the floor, helpless.

“You really thought that something like that c..”
Before the man could finish a chair hit his face. Martin kept on beating him. It was surely the most bloody battle that Office had ever seen and it would not soon be forgotten. When the mans wrinkled body was only moving from the hits, Martin stopped and declared the war over. He stood tall and had a look over all the lands, that now belonged to the Rebel. He would be a good man, not a dictator. He would lead the people of his lands to great things. To begin with the technology of the young President. Martin grabbed the machine from the desk that was now his and started listening to the music.

At that moment Martin looked at the clock. Wow, time went fast, it was already 6. Time to go home. I hope my wife made something nice, Martin thought, it had been a busy and productive day. Martin opened the door and took a last look over his newly conquered lands. Tomorrow another day, he thought as he saw the lifeless bodies around Office, at least for me.

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Re: Being bored at work makes you do crazy things

Tips: 1.00 INK Postby FathersDislikeMe on Fri Oct 30, 2020 9:43 pm

Had me at the intro paragraph. Loved the complete nonchalance with which Martin's internal monologue talks about the dead fellow employee who may start to smell soon. How he died of being "bored to death." It made me smile.

I thought the story would evolve a little bit, though. It didn't evolve too much. Funny and irreverent, though. Light-hearted enough to not land you on any FBI watch lists, either. Lol.
"I put on my robe and wizard hat." - Bloodninja

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