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Bored.

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Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Grahf on Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:27 am

Right. I am in the MurderBrawl tournament...and am not getting the T1 action I need. So, here's the deal. Someone, anyone..fight me. I don't care what form of T1, though I would like to avoid any of the OOC crap that goes with a Powered match.

Once I have an opponent we can iron out style, location and all that.

What I want is someone who is on A LOT like everyday, I would like this to flow nice, no DAYS UPON DAYS of inactivity. If this is you...we can play.

Skill-level is not important; if you suck/are new, tell me, and I will go easy on you. If you claim to be good...do not let me down. If this turns into an OOC argument I call a draw and stop posting; this is my only other rule. The first being activity of course. I know shit comes up IRL, so a PM letting me know you are gonna be delayed is fine...but if I hear nothing from you for more than a day..you lose I move on.

If these terms are good for you..hit me up.

Who I will use:

Apex- roleplay/the-multiverse/characters/apex-1 -Light Powers/Mild powers/Innate. Powered armor, Magnetic powers.

Noxize- roleplay/the-multiverse/characters/noxize-deschain -Any, other than Realistic. Psychic-Jelly-Monster.

Jace- roleplay/the-multiverse/characters/jace-enheign -Realistic(ignore armor)/Unrealistic Melee. Ex-Military Merc.

Xenocide- roleplay/the-multiverse/characters/xenocide -Unrealistic Melee. Cyborg Hunter/Killer droid.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Phoenix6000 on Thu Mar 15, 2012 6:48 pm

Can't really be all-inclusive and then give your preference for no PC...
Best in the World
StaticPlume: 4 // Guru (Adam Newsome): 0
Phoenix: 1 // Fenris of Olfwood: 0
Phoenix: 1 // Mesiphidon, the Son of Ruin: 0

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Grahf on Fri Mar 16, 2012 12:30 am

Never said no PC, simply would like to avoid the drama attached to it. I am actualy quite good at PC, so not like I would avoid it. If I fight PC though..no drama, if things get ugly ooc the fight ends.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Phoenix6000 on Fri Mar 16, 2012 1:41 am

Then if I may ask, which character would you use in a PC match?

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Grahf on Fri Mar 16, 2012 2:13 pm

Most likely Noxize, Apex or my new guy Oblixa.

Noxize is the best of the three however, so it will do. Are you accepting my open challange?

I will once again repeat: If this turns into an ooc bitch-fest the fight ends. PC is the breeding grounds of elitest jerks that once placed into a loosing situation turn the fight into an argument. In my 10+ years of T1 I have seen about 60% of PC fights end this way. No more.

Also, I ask this as a personal favour... Leave the science text book out of this. I know it became all the rage to bring String and other advanced physics things into T1, but it's just boring. Any fight that requires one to spend more time on Wikipedia than on the fight itself is going the wrong direction.

Noxize has Planeswalking as a pure defence against such play; I will not be using it unless faced with science-over compensation.

If you wish to continue this, please submit the bio you will be using.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Phoenix6000 on Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:19 pm


We are in full agreement as far as excessive science goes. Being able to explain the physics behind "cosmic phenomenon X" doesn't make one a good writer. It is just tedious to read through and distracts from the overall experience.

I only have one character (though he has several incarnations) posted at the moment, so I'll go with him:

phoenix-progress-t68101.html

If there are any questions, there's always PMs. Also I am available on most days, so unless something comes up, replying shouldn't be an issue.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Grahf on Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:05 am

Alrighty, looks good, though the combat-number things are hard to understand. Is 100 max?

Im getting off topic though.

So, T1 PC: Noxize vs Phoenix.

Setting: Simple barren wasteland; dead planetioid, sparse vegetation, Earth-like gravity. No elevation, scattered medium to large boulders. Sun is a fat Red Dwarf, casting a gloomy red light. Air quality is thin. No higher life-forms, though distant ruins speak of a humanoid civilization.

Rules: Agreed upon beforehand; Time limit, OOC drama, Leave your Science Book at school.

Special Note: Noxize's Planeswalking skills will remain locked, until such time as opponent tries to alter plannar or temporal settings. Preps for powers remain as normal.

HOR: To be settled via PM.

If this is alright, we shall begin.

As guest, Phoenix may post first. Good luck, and good fight.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Phoenix6000 on Sun Mar 18, 2012 4:04 am

...
+Empty+

Such a desolate place this world was. Empty and barren, all signs of life were practically absent in such a shattered dominion as this wasteland. And yet, what was it about this quiet oblivion that made the bird's mind feel at ease? Obsidian-stained boots paced flatly across the sandy loam, carrying one young man along his chosen path. Unkempt ebon strands bounced along his head as he walked while wholesome emerald optics scanned the surrounding environment for obstructions.

Such a dull venue, the boy thought as his orbs gazed upon stone after stone. A dreary red glow illuminated the area's minute quantity of flora, the light produced by the distant star. The air too felt stretched and scarce, though it was of no concern to the Phoenix; who didn't require such things in order to survive and function.

As per usual, the lad sported his trademark attire. A lightweight black jacket and green sleeveless top, as well as a pair of faded black jeans and a leather belt around his waist. The garments were tailored both for comfort, as well as defense. A unique armorweave cloth granted the items added resiliency against minor offensives. What else stood out about this stranger? Perhaps the peculiar timepiece secured around his left wrist, or the golden bracer covering the right forearm beneath his sleeve? What of the sterling pendant suspended from his neck, or the two ashen pouches affixed above either hip? Most would assume such things to be worthless and unneeded for exploration...

What mattered now was discerned the purpose of this visit. What secrets waited the youth on this lifeless rock? Why had he bothered venturing out so far, despite it being at the behest of those closest to him? Surely it wasn't a prank... A means to release the cooped up dove from the cage of his worries and relax a bit. If only he could've been so fortunate.


Vitality: 100% | Stamina: 100% | Reiki: 21% | Ki: 21%

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Grahf on Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:02 am

Far below the surface of the dead world, something moved. It felt a mind, where there should be none. This place was one of it's homes; the remains of a planet ended by it's own hand. This world should be silent, not even lower beings remained. Yet there it was; a vibration in the mind, a buzzing, thoughts simply bouncing about in a brain. The being could not READ thoughts, not that it would want too, simply feeling them was bothersome enough. This injustice would not stand.

Flowing like oil, the black being glides through the ground; able to manipulate one's form was useful at times. Passing through cracks in the stone, burrowing through soil, and finally bubbling up from what had once been some creatures burrow. What the other would see could only cause confusion; a twisting mass of darkness, liquid blackness massing together into a humanoid form.

Two legs, a torso, two arms then a head, all black without feature. The semblance of a human stood just about five and a half feet tall at the moment, though it's size and shape could change at a whim. Voice produced from some strange process the being makes a sound like one clearing a throat, before extending a hand towards the other man. "What are you doing here?" What the other man did not know was that this was not all of the being's mass; nearly double the mass of this form lay just below the surface of the ground, hiding for a moment to assess the target. As it observes, it begins to gather force, preparing to defend itself should this person desire combat.

A master Psion, Nox was about to reclaim the silence of this world.

Health:100%
Mass: 25/100 exposed
Force: Gathering- Level 0-1.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Phoenix6000 on Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:53 am

...
+Contact+

Sharp eyes dashed from left to right while rugged footwear pushed forward, leaving behind a trail of footprints that would no doubt be brushed away when the winds finally picked up. As the saying goes, it was quiet...albeit too quiet for the bird's liking. His continual surveying of the area grew repetitive and soon tiresome as well. For all intensive purposes, the Phoenix found nothing of interest on this scorched plain. The stillness that accompanied a dead world, nothing but dust and echoes existed here...

"I just don't understand. Why send me out so far? Especially to a location as horrid as thi--"

An interruption, a frequent occurrence when the boy opted to voice his opinion on the unknown. Pallid audibles twitched slightly before the youth turned his head and focused his vision onto a peculiar anomaly. Much like oil indeed, or perhaps maybe ink. Either way, Edward looked on as the unusual substance pushed up from beneath the terra and gradually began to take shape. It swelled at a rough distance of 60ft from his current position.

No doubt a cause for alarm, the Phoenix took the necessary precautions by first taking an additional step away from the formulating mass of ink. Next he allowed his mind to steady, his thoughts alleviated and in order, so as to not jump the gun. So too did the youth's impressive pool of spirit begin to build from within his form. Twin energies steadily climbed while the boy continued his observations. Interesting, he mused to himself while his head tilted at a small angle. Sure enough, the perplexing liquids took form, likened to that of a human silhouette. So many questions and yet before any had a chance to formulate, the inky mass generated an audible noise before projecting what could only be one of its limb towards the traveling bird.

"Me?" Despite the conditions, Ed still spoke in a fairly subtle manner. "To be honest, I couldn't really say. But then again, I could ask the same of you. Are you...some kind of native?"

His brow somewhat arched when he uttered the question, immediately after speaking did the boy sense something unusual stemming from close by? Spiritual Awareness serving as his aid, the Phoenix was quick to note the accumulation of an unknown 'force'. A new variable to consider, one close at hand as well... Was it coming from the other creature?


Vitality: 100% | Stamina: 100% | Reiki: 21% | Ki: 21%

Rei/Ki Charge: 0-1/0-1

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Grahf on Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:51 pm

The stranger seemed lost, a fact that gained him no mercy.

The black being lowers the arm, nodding slightly, "A native, one may say that. As the sole living resident of this planet, you could say that I own it." it's voice changed in tone, sounding more and more like a larger number of voices speaking all at once. It would use this time, gather more force into it's mind; force that unless the other was a powerful psion, would be undetecable.

"What business do you have on my world? Have you come to join the rest of the populace, or do you intend to stop me from moving on to the next world?" the being taunts, stepping closer. All movement on the surface was just a show, a distraction, as the main mass below moves to strike. Spreading out, moving far enough below the surface as not to disturb things and give itself away, the liquid body slides along spreading in a wide circle under the two combatants.

As the man-shaped mass steps closer it again raises one hand, the left, and allows the fingers to extend, writhing like serpents. "You should know, before you make a rash decision, many have tried to stop me..yet I cleanse worlds like this every day. Far better to simply go your way, before you anger me."

The gathering forces in the being's mind had reached a higher level, but it was not the time to strike. More time would be nice, end things with one sure blow. "My, how my manners have left me..you may call me Nox.."

Health: 100%
Mass: 25/100 Exposed.
Force: 1-2.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Phoenix6000 on Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:14 pm

...
+Intrigue+

Lost? Indeed. Lost and ever so bewildered.

The alien entity was swift to respond to the bird's inquiry. This most likely was a sign that the strange ink knew precisely what to say and was fully confident as it delivered its confession. ::Own it?:: The youth repeated in his mind, his brow still elevated while he studied the creature's posture and tone, perhaps attempting to discover any signs of mischief or deceit in the answer he had received. Moreover, Edward couldn't shake the unease he felt from just being in the monster's presence. His supplemental perceptions were able to keep tabs on the obscure accumulation the silhouette was trying to build in secret.

Remaining on guard, on edge, the expression the Phoenix wore was one of elegance and reservation. At first the boy had concluded that the ground he stood upon had always been desolate and the world devoid of prosperity. However new intel was constantly being unearthed, as was the case now. He was very interested to learn what had happened to the inhabitants of this territory. In his mind though, Edward believed that he had a decent grasp on the situation. After an almost mocking indication, the dark being steps forth, this causes the youth to step back once again.

Was it fear that told him to keep his distance? Nay. It was merely good judgment. Much like the other, the bird was committed to his own devices and thus his spirits climbed higher still; as they would in perpetual fashion.

"Nox huh?" The boy grinned. "Edward. Hope that you'll forgive me for appearing so standoffish. I'm typically not too friendly with short-tempered, genocidal weirdos."



Vitality: 100% | Stamina: 100% | Reiki: 21% | Ki: 21%

Rei/Ki Charge: 1-2/1-2

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Grahf on Wed Mar 21, 2012 2:19 am

The being takes another step closer, the fingers writhing faster. A laugh sounds, or rather what a being that has only heard laughter aproximates to it. Harsh and unpleasant, the sound would grate on the nerves as it continues far longer than needed. Louder, every moment, the sound climbing far past the physical limitations of physical vocal cords.

Soon a wall of sound would be pouring from the being; laughter, barking..soul-erroding laughter. Sanity nuke laughter. Twitch forming laughter. And still it came, louder, faster...worse and worse. The sound would break upon Edward's ears, working it's way down and against the tympatic membrane..Malleus and incus vibrating with the sound, sending signals into the Cochlea..and down into the nerves. These nerves would send electrical impulses to the brain, interpreting them as sound...This was how Edward's body would allow Nox to begin the taint.

Weather Edward somehow found a way to ignore the sound, or not, the simple act of hearing the sound would create a link between Nox and the nerves in the ears of Edward. While nothing happened upon the formation of this link, it was something unavoidable. All brains behaved the same; images, sounds, tastes..these were all recorded in the brain, linking memories with associated thoughts. You taste candy, your brain remembers what candy looks like, smells like..every thought you have ever had about candy is instantly accessed.

By both seeing the being, and hearing the being, Edward now had two of his mind's senses associated with memories of the being..memories that form as time goes on. In a way..Nox was already inside the man's head. A version of Nox was now held inside Edward's memories..it had sound and an apearance. Soon it would have more depth.

All the while the external mass of Nox gathered more and more force. The laugh rolled on and on..things were comming to a head, while below the ground the rest of the mass was in position. It was almost time. With the gathering of force, Nox began to picture something in it's own mind..giving this object detail, though it would not need much. Something small, the size of a pea. But it would grow, when it needed to.

Health: 100%
Mass: 25/100 Exposed.
Force: 2-3
Active Powers: Metta Creativity- Forming an object from mental force alone.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Phoenix6000 on Wed Mar 21, 2012 3:48 am

...
+Inert+

The lad's eye now produced a steady twitch whilst the audible frequency of unpleasant clamor carried on and rang prominently within his mind. Like a berating and all too confident howl; such noise was irksome to say the least. The youth's green optics continued to observe the gesticulation of the ink's extremities while the volume of the alien's tone continued to escalate.

::Tsk!::

He protested internally. Somewhere within his psyche, Edward was already deliberating as to whether this was a mind game of sorts. It stood to reason that such a creature, having been isolated on this rock, was a little loopy if nothing else. More questions arose but there didn't seem to be a point in searching for answers now. Whatever this mass was, it clearly had an agenda.

Corruption... A plague attempting time and time again to secure its sickly grasp around the many treasures of the world. A disease believing itself as supreme and incurable, its aim was that of penetration and erosion of a once stable foundation. A feckless endeavor by all accounts, as now it sought to infiltrate aspects that were well beyond its realm of reach.

The body, the mind and the spirit.

All were equally unique and marvelous in their own rights, but more so when one mentioned the Phoenix. Both malleable and infallible in design and operation; how his muscles, nerves, brain, conscious, etc. perceived events... the process could only be described as mundane, yet also eccentric. All occurrences the bird's facets experienced were registered and regulated as he saw fit. Therefore any abnormalities that arose were detected and dealt with in an instant. If this oily fiend made its presence known within the bird's personal dominion, he would know right away.

Suppression, prevention, extermination... The methods behind said operation were exalted, though would surely be known if and when the time came.

All brains behaved the same; images, sounds, tastes..these were all recorded in the brain, linking memories with associated thoughts.

False claims were simply false.

As it stood, the lad had no means of knowing what the silhouette's goal was with such erratic and primitive behavior. What he knew was that this stranger was gathering force and spouting nonsense about claiming more victims. Thus the bird's mind accepted the verbal mischief as it emerged. Bit by audible bit did he ingest the ink's laughter. It was true that the boy had knowledge of this creature; his mind having already formulated an opinion and mental image of the anomaly, yet so too was his cerebrum keeping constant tabs on said topic, for the purposes of updating it. No one wished to be left in the dark and staying informed was something Edward prided himself on doing.

::Well if he won't, then I guess I will.::

The bird's strength had been increasing the entire time, as was the case now. A sparse exertion to test wouldn't derail or effect that ongoing labor in the slightest. Standing in an upright posture the male was quick to raise his right arm and extend both the limb's index and middle fingers, aiming them directly towards the unusual mass. Those with keen eyes would surely have spotted the dim twinkle of gold that flashed at the apex of said extremities, not even a second prior to the offensive's release.

Spirit Beam.

A collection of ten aureolin streaks, all boasting the same dimensions as an ordinary pencil, fired forth from the male's fingertips. Speed and penetration-wise, the reiki-generated projectiles were akin to bullets. The cutting power of each should be more than sufficient to puncture flesh and worldly materials like a concentrated laser, more so when charged. Two were aimed for where the ink's knees should have been, two focused on each of its biceps, five directed towards the creature's torso and the last aimed dead between where two eye should have existed.



Vitality: 100% | Stamina: 100% | Reiki: 20.9% | Ki: 21%

Rei/Ki Charge: 2-3/2-3
Spirit Beams (10) fired.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Grahf on Wed Mar 21, 2012 4:21 pm

Ending this fight before it becomes an OOC arguement.

Reason being: I do not fight Mary Sues, or play with those that meta-game.

The information provided by Phoenix never fully explained the abilities the character was capiable of, random energy beams and somehow sensing the gathering energy of a Psion- mental energy, meaning thoughs, was not listed in the bone-bare sheet I recieved in PM.

What was listed however was an ungodly bundle of Over-Powered stats, immortality, regeneration, and 'total control over-Mind, Spirit, Physical body. And Transcendance. What this all adds up to is a being that cannot die, can in fact regenerate damage that should be lethal, and can control the physical self enough to stop said damage.

In the post above Edward somehow KNOWS that the idead of Nox in his head is up to no good; an impossibility based on the fact that as of this moment...THE IDEA IS STILL JUST EDWARDS THOUGHTS. This is clear meta-gaming, taking OOC info and using it in an IC setting. And I will not have a part in it.

I had clear reservations in having a PC match, but against my better judgemet I went along with it.

I say again, this fight is over. Call it a draw, whatever. I do not care. As neither combatant has taken damage I feel it is fair to rule it as a draw. The 'spirit beams' of Edward would be simple enough to dodge or defend against, as my opponet has said in PM that they 'take none of his focus away, and would not remove his prep count'.

Should my opponent disagree we can bring a judge in, though I do not see a need.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Phoenix6000 on Wed Mar 21, 2012 5:41 pm


There was no meta-gaming involved. As I just explained to you in PMs, my character has no knowledge that Nox has done anything as far as mental tampering is concerned. The most prominent subject on his mind at the moment was Nox and if any abnormalities arose, he would know about them right away and respond accordingly. You are simply jumping to conclusions, or perhaps misread what was written, and are assuming something that is in no way factual.

You also have no right to state that I did not explain my character's abilities or that the information was inadequate, when you yourself said beforehand that a basic rundown of powers would suffice. I also explained IC how Ed could sense Nox. It's apparent to me that you aren't familiar with the realm of PC, as regen and bodily control are common. The process itself is not instantaneous or free of charge. I am hardly the type to throw a bunch of crap together and call it a day. On the contrary. I've taken the time and created a detailed stat system that factors all of these things in numerically, hence the gauges I've been displaying.

I have no intention of arguing with your choice for us to part ways, however I very much take offense to being accused of actions I did not commit. I've explained how and why you are wrong and how your claims are 100% false, so I'll ask that you don't blame me for your follies. I've dealt with your kind before and you sir are low-class
garbage. You can't handle the fact that if something doesn't go just the way you want it, you believe you've been cheated. That's typical behavior of a roleplayer who is only accustomed to fighting with their body, aka realistic melee. That said, I would highly suggest that you avoid PC at all costs. You stick to throwing punches and I'll stick to throwing fireballs. Now if there is nothing else, then I bid you good day.

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Re: Bored.

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Athanasius on Wed Aug 29, 2012 3:34 am

This judgement was requested a month ago, and since no one else took it up and did it - and I was bored as shit - I decided to do it to kill time.

The judgement is done with three categorys in mind; Strategy, Mechanics, and Detail. These will be consistent details wherein a player can earn only five points per category for a total of fifteen points per round.

An additional section, titled; "WTF" will be added in cases where a post is exceptionally well done, or exceptionally fucked up. A player can earn an additional five points with this category, or lose five points from their round's total.

And without further delay;

Phoenix6000 post 1; Introduction

No glaring errors here, either in writing or fighting - though a grade for each post would be simple to give, I'll not bother with it, as there's very little point in doing so.

Noxize post 1: Introduction

This place was one of it's homes


The it's should be its

the remains of a planet ended by it's own hand.


Same thing as above.

This injustice would not stand.


There's no clear definition of what injustice you're talking about. You paint the fact he can feel thoughts as though it were bad, which could make him being able to do it the injustice. Phoenix's character being on the planet could be the injustice. Or, maybe, you just got beat at the crane machine in the local mall.

Clarify everything in your posts, leave nothing out. It always comes back to bite you in the ass at the end.

together into a humanoid form. Two legs, a torso, two arms then a head, all black without feature.


Having already said "humanoid form" the rest of it is just completely redundant, and doesn't help your writing at all.

The semblance of a human


By this time, you've said he's humanoid two times before, why add the third? It only drags your post down and makes it even more redundant.
I see another it's/its error, which isn't surprising. I'll probably find a lot of them in your posts, if this first post is any indication.

Conclusion: Your post was poorly written, full of mistakes and useless redundancy for the sake of fluff. Be glad I'm not scoring introduction posts.
But hey, as bad as that was, you can only get better throughout the fight, right?


Phoenix6000 post 2; It Begins

For all intensive purposes,


The phrase is intents and purposes.

The stillness that accompanied a dead world, nothing but dust and echoes existed here...


Ellipsis(...) are used as a means to pause to add suspense or mystery to what comes next. You'd have been better suited with a period here.

audibles


Audible(s) is not a word that's interchangeable for ears. The word audible means, and I quote: au·di·ble/ˈôdəbəl/ Adjective: Able to be heard: "ultrasound is audible to dogs". Noun: A change in the offensive play called by the quarterback at the line of scrimmage.

As you're not playing football, and you're clearly referencing your ears this is a glaring error on your part.

additional step away from the formulating mass of ink.


The word you were looking for here, rather than formulating, would be congealed or a synonym thereof. Formulating works with ideas, plans, or strategies. It's a word used to describe the creation of an abstract idea, not the compression of a structure into another structure's semblance.

the inky mass generated an audible noise before projecting what could only be one of its limb towards the traveling bird.


limbs*

Conclusion: Overall, not the best post you've made in this thread.

Mechanics - 4 points

Strategy - 4 points

Detail - 5 points

Total: 13 points


Noxize post 2: It Begins

it's voice changed in tone,


Again with the it's/its error, not to mention not capitlizing the I in it's to begin with. If you end the dialogue with a period, the next word is capitalized. If you end the dialogue with a comma, you don't capitalize.

It would use this time,


I certainly hope it would make good use of the time it has, rather than saying that though, you should have shown it.

gather more force into it's mind;


It's/its error again.

"What business do you have on my world? Have you come to join the rest of the populace, or do you intend to stop me from moving on to the next world?" the being taunts, stepping closer.


Again with the same dialog error as before.

Conclusion: Not a bad post from you, definitely better than your introduction post had lead me to believe.

Mechanics - 2 points

Strategy - 5 points

Detail - 3 points

Total: 10 points


Phoenix6000 post 3; Continuation

No errors worth mentioning in this post from you, overall it was a good one; though it was short and sparse on detail.

Mechanics - 5 points

Strategy - 3 points

Detail - 1 point

Total: 9 Points


Noxize post 3: Continuation

A laugh sounds, or rather what a being that has only heard laughter aproximates to it.


Two things wrong with this segment, the first; and least bothersom, is the misspelling of approximate, two Ps in there.

Second, though, is this: If the being has only heard laughter, why would he have to approximate anything to it? He obviously knows what it sounds like, as you clearly say he's only -ever- heard it.

Unless you're indicating that Phoenix's character has only heard laughter, and so what Noxize does is what Edward would approximate it to be; in which case you're not being clear enough for the reader to comprehend the meaning behind your post. In all cases, a misunderstanding in the writing is the fault of the writer. Your points will reflect that fault adequately.

Harsh and unpleasant, the sound would grate on the nerves as it continues far longer than needed.


Whose nerves? Your nerves? Your own laughter gets on your nerves? The only other person around to here it is Edward, and you can't feasibly know what would or wouldn't get on his nerves; so the only answer is that Noxize hates the sound of his own voice...awkward.

Louder, every moment, the sound climbing far past the physical limitations of physical vocal cords.


There's no need to say physical twice here, it's redundant and useless.

The sound would break upon Edward's ears, working it's


Its/It's error.

way down and against the tympatic membrane..Malleus and incus vibrating with the sound, sending signals into the Cochlea..and down into the nerves.


How about the next time you fight, bring the physics book and leave the anatomy book. This is the dullest sentence you've written yet, it's boring; and a wasted chance to impress me with better writing skills.

Weather


Whether*

While nothing happened upon the formation of this link, it was something unavoidable.


You're fighting T1, everything is avoidable.

All brains behaved the same; images, sounds, tastes..these were all recorded in the brain, linking memories with associated thoughts. You taste candy, your brain remembers what candy looks like, smells like..every thought you have ever had about candy is instantly accessed.


No, just no. You can't even begin to know that all brains behave the same. You could make a generalized statement and say all human brains work the same, but even that's an unfounded observation based on assumptions without reference material to back it up.

Edward is clearly not 'human', in the conventional sense. And your character is definitely not human in any sense; so there's little evidence to say both of your brains work the exact same - as your post implies they do.

The laugh rolled on and on..things were comming to a head,


Improper use of ellipsis on both fronts, not being used properly - and you're missing a part of it. Also, coming have has M, not two.

Nox began to picture something in it's own mind


Its/it's error

Conclusion: I'd hoped you'd use this post to impress me, to redeem your earlier failures and make me forget about some of your other mistakes. However, you seemed to do exactly the opposite.

Mechanics - 2 points

Strategy - 4 points

Detail - 2 points

And introducing, WTF! - this segment will add or subtract points depending on the either super impressive actions of a post, or the downright horrible nature of a post.

WTF - 4 points subtracted from the total.

Total: 4 points this post. Would be eight, but you lost 4 for WTF.


Phoenix6000 post 4; The Finale

Conclusion: The only error I see in this post is your using aueolin streaks, since circles of brightness don't really work in streaks, and a beam isn't a perfect cylinder.

Either way.

Mechanics - 4 points

Strategy - 4 points

Detail - 4 points.

Total: 12 points.


Alright, adding up the totals for each player, you come to:

Phoenix6000: 34 points

Noxize: 14 points

I fail to see where you find any evidence of your opponent metagaming, Noxize. There's nothing of the sort in any of his posts; though you may just not fully understand what metagaming is. His character has ample justification and understanding for everything his characters knows or determines.

A clearly hostile being, using an obviously harmful vocal sound - as anything above human range of safe decibles is harmful - will be dealt with properly. Phoenix handled the situation well, and you - for some reason - couldn't handle that a move you were counting on working 100% didn't work.

The fault is yours in this, Noxize, as you simply could not seem to handle the error you made in putting all your eggs in one basket.

By points, Phoenix6000 has won this bout. Given the time since the fight ended, and judgement was requested, no crits or kills will be awarded. You may both make a closing post, to end the fight and withdraw your characters; or simply let this fall into obscurity forever.

Tip jar: the author of this post has received 0.00 INK in return for their work.

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Athanasius
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