Can't fight for the life of me?

So, I guess I should start off by saying I've been role playing for a couple of years now, and I've been in more than a handful of fights, whether it be with guns, swords, knives, hand to hand, you name it. And every time I get into a battle scene/ part of the role play, I always suck. Majorly. I think I've had very, very few redeeming moments when some parts are good, but then it all goes wrong again.
For some reason I just can't seem to grasp the art of it, being quick, swift, making sense, knowing what I'm doing.. and I've read many articles on how to write battle scenes, asked other people, took notes, had a few others try to show me, and still no progress. And my boyfriend and I started role playing around the same time, and we were both equally as bad at first - if not him better than I - and we've both grown, but when it comes to battles he's amazing, and I'm still terrible. And it's hard because we're writing a story together through this role play, and whenever we have to battle things out it's always a competition, which he always wins unless he let's me, and I'm beyond frustrated.
Could someone maybe teach me what it means to be a great fighter in role playing? Whether it be a short, quick fight, or a longer one. I want to keep it exciting and tense and interesting, and I don't know who else to go to for help.
Thank you so much for reading this if you made it this far and didn't decide to go elsewhere! xD
~Liz

I think I was one of the ones that tried to help you earlier. Let's try again.

Battles are all about timing and positioning. No matter how good your strategy is, if you can't time your strikes and blocks correctly, you're going to go down. Once you have the basic moves down and learn a few things about your opponent's capabilities, then you can move on to developing tactics and strategies.

I highly recommend the study of a historical or modern martial art to assist in your understanding of core concepts. For example, all non-thrusting attacks will come from and will target one of eight directions on the human body. This ties in with the "get up out of your chair and do the moves" that I recommended. http://thearma.org is a wonderful starting point into research of historical European martial arts, but comprehension will not come easily. From this comprehension, however, will flow a newfound understanding of how various moves will translate into a written form, so it's well worth the effort.

There are two sorts of fighting. One seeks to advance a plot through means of combat. Here, you are encouraged to collaborate with your opponent on who's doing what and when, and have a grand old "who would win" discussion. After this is done, you can write out the entirety of the fight in a single post. This is the sort I recommend you stick to. The other is combat for its own sake, which is more like a game of chess or Magic The Gathering, as each combatant seeks to implement his strategy and deny his opponent the same in order to claim victory. This sort of fighting is probably what your boyfriend is more a fan of.

Finally, you can read, study and listen all you want, but unless you go out and practice you won't gain anything. Use active verbs, describe the whooshing of your sword through the air, and don't let performance anxiety get in the way of writing a good scene.