Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

Ziah · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Ziah** on Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:37 pm

Okay, so there was a debacle in the c-box, and someone attempted to say that character loss was like being raped, and saw no issue with that comparison. For anyone who has been sexually assaulted in any manner, we can fully attest to the fact that our PTSD and years of suffering can't be compared to simply losing a character. Years of developing a fictional character are irrelevant when it comes to losing years of your life to someone else's lust or anger, but I wanted to ask you guys how you felt so that you may all discuss it.

How intense is character loss, and can it compare to any tragic or traumatic, real life event?

Please discuss, but try to avoid cursing, jokes, and other such things. This should be a rather safe place, and I don't want to see this becoming inflammatory, as I believe it is a legitimate concern that someone thinks rape is as bad as character loss, and believe this issue should be discussed, and real life tragedies compared to character loss, and vice versa.

dealing with it · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **dealing with it** on Sun Feb 05, 2017 9:28 pm

If one is fictionalizing real-world events, I can see how one can get real world emotions mixed in. However, as a rule of thumb, disorders referenced in the DSM-V are incomparable to fictional writing. Most people get over the death of a loved one (fictional characters included) in healthy and predictable patterns. Contrariwise, they do not just "get over" a mental trauma, such as can be caused by rape.

Aniihya · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Aniihya** on Wed Feb 08, 2017 8:49 am

When I first saw the title I thought, "oh boy, I hope it isnt another person who exaggerates and uses trigger warnings for everything." Then I saw PTSD and thought that that is the only time trigger warnings are correctly applied.

Anyways, someone who compares character loss to a real life event or actual rape probably needs counseling as they are probably having a hard time distinguishing fiction from reality.

Sara Whitley · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Sara Whitley** on Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:24 pm

RP will never compare to real life, but the more it takes over it, the more one might become inclined to feel so.

I also know that different players have different styles in regards to character creation. In my experience, there are two types: those who create a multitude of characters, often to fit a certain theme, whim, or RP at the time, and those who tend to play just one or a small few "main" characters that persist.

I am one of the latter. Those of us who's playstyle is to run a "main" character undoubtedly see the game differently. To us, we've developed very strong connections to our characters and seeing the "world" through their eyes, often for many years at a time. I have had my main character "Lamina Manira" for about 6 or 7 years, and haven't really connected to any others. I think it's safe to say that at this point in time, I've fostered a sort of emotional connection to this character, to where my own feelings might correlate with her own. I think I share a much stronger connection with my character than someone who has 40 characters would share with any one of them. I think that's a fairly important distinction to make. It would probably bother J.K. Rowling if she had to go into the permanent death of Harry Potter, for instance, more than it would bother a D&D player who just lost one of a hundred characters.

All that said, I still wouldn't call RP ever comparable. It can evoke similar emotions in the right circumstances to certain players, but it will never be as intense as real life. Someone who believes this has probably lost a lot of contact with real life due to RP and, in all honesty, was probably just fairly young. I can imagine a person in their mid teens saying something like this, but realizing they didn't really mean it after growing up a few more years later.

Rulke · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Rulke** on Sat Feb 18, 2017 5:25 pm

Jesus Mary and Joseph do not believe I need to defend my name here, so here let me spell this out. I used a blunt comparison let me explain what I said and not what Ziah claimed I said. I said basically that you are wanting to force something on to another person's character's and they have every right in MV to not want to be part of it. He complained that was wrong among other things. I used the comparison of consensual sex and rape and it was agreed by multiple people though it was blunt it was a fair comparison as with how close people can become with their characters and that many use them as a coping mechanism to escape real life, it could be that distressing.

God... why this topic was not closed yet I don't know...

Scorpion01 · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Scorpion01** on Tue Feb 21, 2017 11:18 am

Rulke is correct, and this thread is a waste of time.

The analogy they used, while it could be considered "extreme" for some, is very much relate-able to the circumstances that brought it forth. Healthy and Respectable Role Play between two consenting persons is much like consent between two lovers. This is the point Rulke is trying to get across.

One cannot simply say "I will do this" to someone else's character and either give the other person no time to react, or say that it happened and be done with it. That is the equivalent of non-consensual sexual relations. One generally must say "I intend to do this, so I will attempt to do so" to the other player's character, thus giving them time to react, and decide what will happen, whether that decision is "Yeah, okay that works" or "Nah not my style."

I hope this helps clear it up. Yeah, Rape isn't something to be joked about, despite my very dark sense of humor it is one of the few things I won't joke about because of its affects on people. But Rulke wasn't joking about it, merely making an analogy.

Again, this thread is a waste of time, and should not have been made.

dealing with it · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **dealing with it** on Tue Feb 21, 2017 5:40 pm

The OP isn't breaking any rules; if you don't think this thread is worth your time, start your own thread or respond to a different one.

The quality of discussion and debate is directly proportional to the posting quality of its regular posters. I'm just a facilitator in that regard. I'm not here to delete or lock unless there is sufficient cause. What kind of moderator does otherwise?

Ylanne · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **Ylanne** on Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:18 pm

For some of us, characters can become almost like real people with whom we have entire relationships. (I don't mean to say we can't tell the difference between fiction and reality; I just mean that a character can become more than a simple concept, especially after years of writing about/with them, and especially with super close roleplay partners). So I can understand losing a character as deeply traumatic (my partner once told a story of how a roleplay being done over phone resulted in a plot arc where a character committed suicide, which made sense after a long build-up to it and the character's development, and both roleplayers were crying over the phone as this happened); HOWEVER, as I have survived trauma (not sexual abuse, to be clear), and so have most people I know, I wouldn't dare call it the same thing. It's a different type of trauma in this case; there isn't a comparison.

Another example of this phenomenon -- people I know who have survived severe medical discrimination that resulted in them almost being dead (but did not ever experience sexual abuse) did not go through the same thing as people I know who have survived years of sexual abuse (but did not ever experience medical discrimination). I don't think either group had it worse than the other, especially since neither of those are mine to speak to from personal experience, but rather that both are traumatic, and it's not really possible to compare them since they're just not the same thing to begin with.

My issue would be with a roleplayer who tries to (as you mentioned in the OP) equate character loss to an IRL, in the flesh, trauma, like rape or any other. That is not only not correct; it's probably harmful and insulting to many survivors of the IRL trauma being compared/referenced. But I wouldn't have an issue with a roleplayer using the word trauma to describe the experience of an intense character loss in the kinds of situations I alluded to above (though I wouldn't expect that to be true of many character losses, given how casual a lot of roleplay seems to be).

harley_q · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **harley_q** on Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:47 am

Can't believe people would even compare such things... Sickening to me, honestly...

ColeMaibara · **Tips:** 0.00 INK by **ColeMaibara** on Thu Aug 03, 2017 1:31 pm

harley_q wrote:Can't believe people would even compare such things... Sickening to me, honestly...

Take a read through some of the previous replies. The incident in question is explained by Scorpion01 and Rulke (Scorpion's goes more in-depth).

Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

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Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

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Re: Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

Re: Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

Re: Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

Re: Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

Re: Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

Re: Character Loss =/= RL Tragedy (possible trigger warning)

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