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Frustration

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Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby gaiadarkstar on Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:57 pm

I wanted to discuss in general a little about this forum site and other things. I am not totally sure this is the right place to put this particular topic but well, I'm sure an admin will move it if it's wrong. I've tried many times to suggest improvements for the site and a few have been added but my major beef is with the advertising and gathering of new players for a rp. I still think that if the forum was separated into genres it would make it easier. So if you want to play a fantasy rp you go under fantasy and all the people looking for players in that type of rp will be listed and only those. That way you have less of a chance of being bumped off the page so quickly. Though since some genres are super popular it won't help as much as with others. I don't know exactly what else they could do to make it better. I mean I think I did a pretty good job making a decent rp but no one ever joins. I don't know what I am doing wrong. Plus I don't have confidence in finding a good rp either. It's really hard to find the kind of rps I like in such a huge pile of entries. One of the admins mentioned tagging and I think I tagged mine but so many people don't bother or forget. I don't know I guess I just wanted to complain and see what others thought about this.
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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:31 pm

You're right about where this goes. I'm not exactly sure where this would go, but definitely not here because the D&D forum is for discussion on non-RP related stuff. Perhaps in the Main Lobby, because you can present it to the entire community as it says there.

I don't know about the categorization idea, personally I think it just supports the more popular genres, and the ones that aren't as popular discourage people from attempting to pursue the creation of a story based on lesser known genres. This only leads to the death of said genres. I prefer that people get to see a giant list of mixed roleplays, and anything with a good story (forget about the genre) will attract roleplayers.

Could you give me a link to the roleplay you mentioned? I could provide give you my opinion and some pointers.
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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby gaiadarkstar on Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:22 pm

Thanks for moving it. I had no idea where it should go. I figured since I was discussing something this was the best fit. But it isn't that important.
Wow I would really appreciate your thoughts. Truly I am not very confident in my writing. I am really good at coming up with characters but making the world and coming up with details and plot points that come together in a beleivable and interesting way is really hard, almost impossible for me. But still I love rping and want to see my stories take form so getting opinions on it would really help. Here is the rpgateway link roleplay/sol-sagev/
And in case you were interested here is the link to the other site where I already started the rp. http://rp.eliteskills.com/r.php?r=102358

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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:43 pm

Yeah, world building is a bit hard to do by yourself and in a spur of the moment manner. If you intend to build a world by yourself, it will most likely take weeks and even months. It can't be done single-handed within a moment's notice. Which is why if you intend to establish a world, you need a lot more people on hand, or you should start planning ahead first before committing it to a roleplay tab.

Secondly, I find nothing wrong with your roleplay idea. I think it would help if you added images, people...are immediately drawn to images. Once they're there for the images, they'll stay for the words.

Though I found it interesting that you based your world as a parallel to modern day Earth, I think you could try refraining from referencing modern day Earth as much as possible. You've got to make it so that the original basis has completely disappeared from the blueprints, though it may remain their in your mind, it won't be seen by the roleplayers participating.

Among OOC threads, I find that these could help. I have them in one of my roleplays, and I use them a lot.

Perhaps a map could help, you never know.

NPCs/Factions/Groups (NPCs, though controlled by everyone, add to the dynamic of the characters involved)
Locations (Images help enhance the sort of setting and environment that you want to bring alive in the minds of participating writers)
Technology/Magic (depending on your roleplay it may have one, the other, or both - again images help.)
Lore (Background stories such as letters, fictional excerpts, historical documents, reports, archived texts, advertisements, bounties, wanted posters, any sort of text related thing that adds to the back story of the world and helps flesh things out)

Each of those contribute considerably. One thing I must point out though, is that each of these threads and other stuff require extensive writing (as if anything we do on RPG doesn't involve writing, amirite?) It also helps if you allow fellow writers to contribute to your world with stuff of their own, with your approval of course.

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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby gaiadarkstar on Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:06 pm

wow just even thinking about trying to come up with so much on my own, at the least, is incredibly daunting. I don't even know where to start. I sort of have a map I did for a previous rp in the same world, I suppose I could add to it but after that...
I am so bad at details and don't know the best way to put stuff together like you mentioned. I have never been very good at organising and planning. I simply get an idea and hope that it can work itself out by rping it, but that hasn't really worked out for me. I tried three times to run an rp in this world before and the first two times were decently succesful but we never got to meet the main villain or get to the meat of the story. I wish more than anything I had people or even one person to help me but so far I haven't had any luck. I am not really sure what to do anymore. More and more I am losing confidence and there really isn't any way to learn how to make a better rp without having someone show me how. I have so many ideas and desperately love the characters I create and want to make their stories come to life but I don't know how to do it. The same thing happens in the novels and such I write. I get an idea and start writing and inevitably get stuck at some point and have no idea how to continue. I mean I usually know, in general what I want to happen buy no idea how to get there. Also even if I write from point a to point b I always miss details but I just can't see it unless someone points it out to me.

I was stuck one time and gave my sister a novel chapter I was working on. She didn't do much really only edited the first paragraph but she turned one sentence into a whole paragraph which I then was able to expand into a whole chapter. Without her input I never would have seen all the holes I had. People often tell me that I do certain things like change tenses often and other common things but even though I know I do some things and try to fix it I can never notice them myself. Even when I know where a problem is, that doesn't mean I will know how to fix it.

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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby ViceVersus on Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:39 pm

Hey there, gaiadarkstar! It's ViceVersus.

Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts here. It really means a lot to get feedback from the community on things like this. This thread has kinda changed directions a bit in its brief lifespan, so I'll try to address the points as they came up.

So if you want to play a fantasy rp you go under fantasy and all the people looking for players in that type of rp will be listed and only those


This gives me an interesting idea. On everyone's profiles, there is a field for "Favorite Setting" in a roleplay. What if that acted similar to the RP tagging feature?

Let's say I enjoy modern fantasy settings, realistic settings, and futuristic. I put those genres onto my profile. If someone ventures to the Fantasy forum, they can see a list of the users who have tagged "Fantasy" as an interest they have on their profiles. This could allow for users who like the same sort of content to collaborate and meet up easier.

I think I understand what you're getting at. The larger blanket genres, fantasy, anime, have such an incredible amount of activity within their forums that the smaller, niche genre RPs are getting crowded out. The issue becomes about connecting users with each other so they can create something together.

One reality that has to be established is that on a forum this size with so many users producing content, there will be roleplays that fail or don't get off the ground very hard. That's just something that's going to happen. The thing to take away from that, though, is what went wrong and what can be done about it.

Which brings me to my next point. You are leaps and bounds ahead of some other writers because you have recognized within yourself the qualities, as a writer, that you know you would like to change or work on. That's huge. Confidence in writing is something that takes time, and the fact that you recognize you need and would like to improve opens a world of possibilities.

I come from a film background. A film crew is made up of dozens, sometimes hundreds of individuals all with their own particular sets of skills and weaknesses. If the Director is a little bit air-headed, then his assistant director is a little more matter-of-fact, to balance that out.

Similarly, if you know the things you're weaker at when it comes to worldbuilding and creating roleplays, then teaming up with someone who has the strengths you're looking for can be a great way to get things done. If that person is weaker where you have strengths, and you're weaker where they have strengths, then not only do you balance each other out but you have the opportunity to learn something from each other!

Taking that approach with a roleplay might help you out. You said yourself that you have so many ideas and love your characters to death is a strength, that's a definite strength. Some others may be weaker in that area, you can help them out!

Myself, I get wrapped up so much in character interaction when I write that it becomes worrying. I can't see the forest for the trees, as it were. I struggle with structure and simplicity in storytelling which, as a Screenwriter, sometimes makes crafting a narrative a very messy thing. I have friends, though, who I went to school with who are very good at cutting away all the unnecessary backstories and concepts that I don't need.

I think I'm rambling. I guess the point I want to make is that it's always worth taking a look at our system of roleplaying here at RPG and evaluating it for effectiveness. Also, the fact that you're taking a bit to self-reflect here shows an enormous amount of maturity and that you're well on your way to improving!
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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby gaiadarkstar on Thu Jan 24, 2013 3:43 pm

I have looked and looked for companions, or even temporary partners to help me and I never find them. Even back in school I was never very good at making friends. Even my "close" friends weren't the kind that I usually confided in or even invited over a lot of the times. I had one or two that were that close but as soon as we were apart, we lost contact. I hate to say it but I am a very needy, greedy person. I like to be praised and have people adore me but at the same time tend to care very little about their daily life. Now, I understand this about myself and I am really working on it, but I think it often comes through when I talk to people. Not to mention I tend to see things differently than most people. I mean I will say something, that to me seems completely reasonable, but to most other people is very rude or even offensive. It's hard to explain, I just don't get things that other people easily understand. My husband often makes fun of me when someone says an obvious joke, sarcasm, or even insult and it often will go right over my head. Which when someone is doing something like this to me, seems good since I just don't get insulted most of the time cause, well I didn't get it. I'm laid back so even when I do understand that someone might have insulted me, I usually just brush it off. So it is hard for me to understand when someone can take a seemingly innocuous sentence and get offended by it.

Ugh, I feel like I am complaining again, something else I often do. I tend to like having people feel sorry for me. I hate to make excuses but I was diagnosed with ADD and it has a pretty big impact on my social skills. Lack of patience, lack of focus, lack of self esteem, and having depression and being self centered and in my own world are just a few of the symptoms that go with ADD. I don't want to sound like I'm begging or heck I don't know. I guess I just wish people would understand me and talk to me instead of just leaving without saying anything.

I would much rather have people just say that my writing sucks or something rather than say it is good but they still don't want to rp with me anymore. Sorry I am starting to feel sorry for myself again. It's hard to keep up my confidence when I get so little feedback. I guess I am saying I really need help. I want so much to find a group to rp with that have similar interests and such but so far I haven't had much luck. Once or twice I have had brief moments where I got to rp with someone really great but those times go by so quickly and then it is over. I want to know how to make it last a little longer.

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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Thu Jan 24, 2013 5:18 pm

Perhaps you could find someone who can adore you as well as manage for themselves without being needy for praises. Joking aside, perhaps I missed your point way off before. The tagging idea in the profile may have some merit.

As for your ADD and your flaws, they add a perspective to your writing that can not be mimicked or copied by anyone else. Use it to your advantage.

I know that finding the right people may be hard, but Rome wasn't built in a day. Be patient and persist, and perhaps you'll find the people, or person, that's got your back.

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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby gaiadarkstar on Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:42 pm

I wish I new how to use my ADD to my advantage. I'm 33 years old and have been searching for friends for a long time. People always act like it is so easy but if it was that easy i would have found at least one person who would listen to me by now. I keep feeling like giving up. I would never kill myself but I hardly see the point in continuing writing when I can't seem to improve and can't find someone to help me. I don't even know for sure if any of my ideas are actually any good. I can't help it, I base my opinion of myself a lot on what other people think of me. If other people don't appreciate what I am doing then I lose confidence and become more and more depressed. It doesn't help that I already lost my music. My piano stopped working and I can't afford a new one. Also I used to love choir at church but because of my kids and such I can't go anymore. I used to play and sing a lot, almost every day. Every time I try to sing at home if it isn't some stupid kids song my son will cry and yell until I stop. He isn't yet three so I can't really get too mad at him, he likes what he likes but it makes me sad. The only thing now that makes me happy is my art. I can actually see how I am improving. It is so much easier to see than with writing. Without an objective opinion on my writing I just don't know if it has any merit at all. The few comments I have had are always nice and kind of flowery without any substance. It's not like I want someone to be mean to me but it's hard for me to believe compliments sometimes, especially when they are so general without any details about why they might like my work. It just feels hollow, like they are just being nice.

Ugh, this changed a little from my original intention. I was hoping to find a comrade somehow or just a little to cheer me up perhaps. Telling me unilaterally that I will find a friend someday isn't really all that comforting. I know everyone feels lonely but it's been especially frustrating for me recently. I almost never get out of my house. I'm practically a neet or shut in at this point. I don't have a job for multiple reasons. Heck I don't even make a good housewife. I don't even think of myself as a very good mother. I kind of ignore my kids a lot. I kind of hate myself right now. This is probably just depressing everyone else. No one really wants to hear someone else s problems. I think we are all a little selfish. *sigh* I don't really know what else to say.

People always give me these cheer up speeches and stuff as if something like that would really help. Empty happy words aren't really always what someone needs. Ugh that sounds terrible. I don't even know what I am saying anymore. I always keep wishing that I could become the kind of person people want to be around but even when I tried to be nice and social I still never make real friends.

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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby VindicatedPurpose on Sat Jan 26, 2013 6:19 pm

No, it isn't easy to make friends for some people. It's different for everyone. Let me ask you, what do you enjoy about writing? What is it that drives you to get up and pick up a pen or open a pad and start writing or typing away? Are you a storyteller? Do you envision new places to go and see? Are you an adventurer? Are you searching for an answer? What is it that got you into roleplaying and writing in the first place? Go back to that, seize it, and cling on to it. These are not hollow words. Being a writer is being an artist. Artists are passionate people, they get frustrated all the time, they're striving for perfection, they're seeking to create. They take pride in what they do, and I see that in you.

If you enjoy singing, why did you stop? Keep singing. Your son's only three, you can't let him be the arbiter of what sounds good to you. You've said that you are a woman, you can make decisions for yourself, and you can choose what to do. Keep drawing, keep doing what you like to do as an artist.

Maybe you're selling yourself short, it's about time that you took a good look at yourself and have confidence in what you do. If you need somebody to critique you, say it out loud and ask them for an honest and truthful answer. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get up, and keep going.

Everybody has problems, and sometimes you need to vent it. That's okay with me. Everybody's a little selfish, you got that right. Don't consider this a cheer up speech, consider this a pep talk. You need to get back into the game, and go back to doing what you like to do, and you need to get some fresh air. Take a walk.

As a person, I try to find inspiration in everything, make it happen even if you think it's not there. Whether it's the way the sunlight flashes on and off every time you pass by something that obstructs its path, or the thousands of leaves hanging on the trees in my front yard, or a certain song. What do you find inspiration in?
Last edited by VindicatedPurpose on Mon Jan 28, 2013 4:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Frustration

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby ViceVersus on Mon Jan 28, 2013 8:09 am

VP is making a lot of sense here. Glad to wander back to this thread and see the replies going strong; I was out-of-town this past weekend.

I can really only echo and agree with what he's saying. One of the first things I knew about you when you joined was your art thread! It's one of the oldest exhibition threads in the Artwork subforum that's constantly updated. Keep posting stuff in there, people love to see characters brought to life. And if it's something you love, then keep on down that track.

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