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Funny and Odd Quotes thread

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Haruka_Tenou on Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:02 pm

"One bright day in the middle of the night.
Two Dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other.
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf police man heard the noise.
He came and shot those two dead boys.
If you do not believe this tale is true.
Ask the blind man he saw it too."

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Zee All Knowing Peacock on Tue Jul 03, 2007 6:07 pm

'Zee goggles, zey do nothing!"

Ramier Wolfcastle, The Simpsons.
"Some things are important. Others are not. Yet all would claim a mortal's attention. It falls to each of us to remain ever mindful, and thus purchase wisdom in the threading of possibilities. It is our common failing that we are guided by our indifference to eventualities. The moment pleases, the future can await consideration." - Steven Erikson's Midnight Tides

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Haruka_Tenou on Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:30 pm

"This lovely lady is death... " From Bill and Ted's Bogus Adventure.

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azamiko on Thu Jul 05, 2007 2:58 am

Not old enough to love as yet,
but old enough to die, indeed.
--Deep Wizardry (a book, can't quite remember the author's name)

Maximum Ride: Saving the world and other extreme sports--the mutant kids--the heros--are captured and interrogated by the evil scientist:

"De tall, dark vun--dere's nothing special about him at all," ter Borcht said dismissively of Fang, who hadn't moved since the doctor had come in.
"Well, he's a snappy dresser," I offered.

"Vhat ozer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, while his assistant waited, pen in hand.
Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.
Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.

"Is dere anysing special about you?" asked ter Borcht. "Anysing vorth saving?"
Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."

Another scientists tries to get them alone for individual testing, and explains that unless they're useful, they'll be killed:

"You should want to help us find out if you're at all useful to us alive."
"Because we're probably not that useful dead," Nudge said thoughtfully.
"No," I agreed. "Well, maybe as doorstops."
'By any means necessary. Heh, that's when your ideals outweigh your conscience. The question is: are you willing to give up yourself--your idea of who you are, of what is right--to help other people?"

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby AkaTyou on Sat May 31, 2008 10:14 am

"never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly" -some type of newspaper.

"Earth. The worlds greatest planet" -Ben from my last school.

"No, the world wouldn't be better if it was Cadbry. We'd all melt, we'd melt a very chocolaty death!" -My friend

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Cass on Sat May 31, 2008 10:40 am

Colder than a witch's titty.

How odd is that one? And how cold would that make it exactly?

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Zhelir Darkfall on Sat May 31, 2008 11:06 am

The three greatest bumper stickers of all time:

3. (From a commercial about wearing your seatbelt, but taken out of context, totally awesome) "Guess what I'm not wearing."

2. (From, of course, Forest Gump) "Shit Happens."

1. "My 2.0 drug addict is fucking your Honor Student."
STAVE: Commala-come-ki,
There's a time to live and one to die.
With your back against the final wall
Ya gotta let the bullets fly.

RESPONSE: Commala-come-ki!
Let the bullets fly!
Don't 'ee mourn for me, my lads
When it comes my day to die.

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby CR22 on Sat May 31, 2008 1:03 pm

"Any man can swim in the red water, but it takes a hero to drink from it."

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Re: Funny and Odd Quotes thread

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ace Darkfire on Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:22 pm

"Those who tried returning from the Island of No Return would find returning difficult."

"My job is a decision making job therefore I make a lot of decisions."

A license plate frame my sister got for her car, because people seem to love tailgating the car to get her to "speed" up or something:
"If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair."
AceDarkfire's deviantArt page
Former RPGateway Admin

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