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Gaslighting

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Gaslighting

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby dealing with it on Sun Jun 05, 2016 8:23 pm

Gaslighting as a Manipulation Tactic: What It Is, Who Does It, And Why
Read the article, and I have three questions:
1) Do you believe that gaslighting works?
2) Have you ever been gaslighted?
3) Have you ever participated in gaslighting?

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Re: Gaslighting

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby LawOfTheLand on Mon Jun 06, 2016 2:28 am

I've only ever considered manipulating someone's environment like that as a prank for April Fool's Day or similar. Things like turning the toaster 90 degrees, so someone trying to make their morning toast before the caffeine kicks in won't know why it's not going down.

As far as being gaslighted, the closest I can get is getting my ass kicked on Pokémon Showdown, though it can be argued that that's more of a paradigm shift, or being a small fish in a big pond. "Everything I thought would work didn't...were they ready for it, or can I just not trust my own instincts because I don't know enough to make those calls?" Thus, I believe that this tactic can be used effectively. When you can't even trust how you perceive the world around you and keep banging your leg against the bed frame, it gets really hard to trust that you made the right call on literally anything else. Bonus points if you have clinical anxiety or depression.
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Re: Gaslighting

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Mon Jun 06, 2016 2:57 pm

I have the sense that gaslighting is often used in a gendered fashion, specifically to make women question the validity of their own experiences of, e.g., abuse, sexual assault, etc. I’ve come across discussion of the phenomenon in connection with court testimony and such, where lawyers for the defense will ask all kinds of irrelevant questions about what clothing someone was wearing, etc., and that the distorted emphasis on things that don’t actually matter tends to lead to people believing they’ve misunderstood their own experiences. It is, of course, also used more in the way that the writer asserts, by the original victimizers, but I thought it relevant to point out that it isn’t only them. (Unless you think all lawyers of this type are psychopaths, which I suppose someone could.)

I don’t mean to suggest, by the way, that gaslighting is always gendered, merely that the context in which I have come across the term before was in discussions of certain kinds of trauma, the victims of which are primarily women or minorities. There’s a sense in which a white male’s experience is taken as “default” or assumed to be properly objective/neutral/epistemic virtue of your choice that I suspect makes it more difficult (though not impossible) to invalidate in this way.

I have been gaslighted, though only in somewhat minor ways. I’d like to think I’ve never participated in it, though I suppose it’s difficult to say for sure—I could easily believe that most people have done so unintentionally at least once or twice in their lives, in more ordinary ways than the sort of psychopath-level stuff the author describes in the article.
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Re: Gaslighting

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Zodia195 on Wed Jun 08, 2016 3:10 pm

I am pretty sure I've been gaslighted before, but I can't recall when. Have I been manipulated in general? You bet your boots I have.

I think people who tend to use this technique, in general, they're intent is to get what they want just like anyone else who manipulates. I myself do manipulate those to get what I want, even though the intent not meant to cause harm. Gaslight to me sounds like something that is 'bad intentional' simply because it causes a negative reaction from what I've read.

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Re: Gaslighting

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby The Ragdoll on Wed Jun 29, 2016 3:09 am

A1: It exists, so it works. Otherwise, why would we name it? It's an action. How efficient is it in building authentic relationships? Very inefficient.

A2&3: Yes, and I am so damn proud of it. Call me an expert.
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