Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

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Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 25.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:48 pm

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(Or: The Big Happy Advice Thread)



What this is: Well, it’s really just what the title says up there. I’ve been around the site for a couple of years, written for dozens of roleplays, GM-ed three of them (all of which were played to completion), and co-GM-ed for several more. So, I have a fair amount of experience, all of which I’m more than happy to share. I don’t, however, want to tell people things they already know, so I’m opening a thread up for questions.

What I’ll cover: Mostly anything. Site mechanics, writing tips, GM hints, worldbuilding, character creation and portrayals, and roleplay etiquette. Please note that I’m much more experienced with the forum and tabs than chat, so my answers to questions of that nature will be much more useful. If you ask something I don’t know, I’ll do my best to hunt down someone who does know it!

What I’m looking for: Let me make one thing clear: there are no stupid questions. This thread is to help me help you, and so even if you’re sure your query is the most basic thing in the world, don’t be afraid to ask it! Chances are, there are other people out there who don’t know the answer who might just be too shy to ask. That said, please do your best to make your questions clear, succinct, and specific. The more you can tell me about what you want to know, the more useful my answer will be to you.

I’ll take requests for critique: Really, I will. What I ask is that, if you’re going to ask me to critique a character or a world, please keep the selection to a reasonable length. Shorter chunks are going to get more intensive feedback- if I have to read a novel, I’m probably only going to be able to cover the most general of things in the critique if I want to keep it to a manageable size.

Before asking, you may want to read: There are a few great places that contain answers to frequently-asked questions. I’m going to link them here, so that you can make sure your question hasn’t already been answered.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby LawOfTheLand on Sat Nov 03, 2012 6:49 pm

Curtsive kinda threw me here. So I'll fire away first.

As good as I was (and probably still am) at competitive text combat, I find myself struggling to write a halfway decent fight scene by myself. Say, for example, that my character needs to dispatch a bunch of grunts in a suitably jaw-dropping fashion before confronting the boss. I have a hard time doing that without bogging down the story with a blow-by-blow analysis of every maneuver, which you normally see in the competitive form instead of the collaborative. Not only does this take longer, but other players would be right to be annoyed at this one scene taking 10 posts or more to resolve.

Basically, I know how to win at PvP. Now that I'm retired, I'm asking what makes a good PvE scene.
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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Sat Nov 03, 2012 7:58 pm

Hey QB! Gotta say, I wasn't really expecting any vets to be making use of this. That said, I'll do my best.

So, the point of PvE (or PvNPC if you like) is less about planning out every single hit and so forth than it is about creating something with narrative flow. You want to write enough that people can "see" what's going on without being hypertechnical about it. I heard once that the average fight with melee weaponry lasts seven seconds or less. I'm not sure how accurate that actually is, but it's not a bad number to consider. If you want to preserve the flow and adhere to reasonably-realistic physics, that seven seconds is probably going to consist of two or three moves tops, not all of which need to be written separately with the care one would give a setup in a PvP match.

The battle against twelve generic mooks (for example) requires a balance: you don't want to just steamroll them godmod-style, but at the same time, you don't want to protract the action for so long that the reader loses interest. Here especially, the adage "show, don't tell" is very useful. I get the impression (and I might be wrong) that arena-style PvP ends up leaning heavily towards tell, because both players need to convey a certain amount of information about what they're doing for a fair match and whatnot. Shifting that emphasis back towards "show" will help in writing PvE. Rather than focusing heavily on the anatomical details of an attack's execution, go for the sensory experience. Visuals are great, but there's a lot to be made of sounds, smells, and tactile sensations.

So (and forgive me if these examples are atrocious) instead of:

"X slashed horizontally for Y's chest, aiming to hit just below the clavicle."

Which is fine but a smidge dry, you can get something like:

"X whipped her shortsword in a broad arc, the whistle of the blade through the air the only sound in the stillness until it made contact, flaying open a rent in Y's leather chestplate."

I haven't described exactly where X was aiming or even whether the hit was supposed to be horizontal or vertical, which would likely be a major faux pas in PvP, but it works all right here because all I'm trying to do is invoke a sensory image. I've tried to convey that it's a one-on-one fight between two lightly-armored foes, and also to start creating an ambiance for the scene. That said, I'd need a bit more description to accurately establish all the relevant details, but you get the idea. I'm also free to add a sentence like "Blood welled from the wound, running in rivulets down the worked detailing to spatter on the stone floor beneath" and then say that Y followed, dead, because I don't need to let the other person respond, since there is none. That's one foe in three sentences, and probably about seven seconds.

Of course, it's no fun if they all just die right away. Just like PCs, some NPCs will be smarter or more skilled, and will dodge or block or what have you. Remember to treat the NPCs as real people, but don't feel that each one needs a paragraph or several before they die. Even saying "the next two fell in swift succession, a series of quick, deft strikes returning them to the earth and filling X's nose with the overpowering stench of death" does something for the narrative, and since you're dealing with a large number of enemies of low strength, it's totally fine to do so. It's about choosing when and where to utilize your details. Generally, being sparing is good, as long as when you do narrate a bit more, the words are being used to a definite purpose and have real impact. I'd say PvE is very much about "bang for your buck," especially in large-scale battle scenarios.

Player-NPC duels can look a little more like PvP, but the idea is to make it seem less mechanical and more... cinematic, I suppose. Not to say that words should always resemble movies, because they can do so much more than that. But it's good to be choosy about the details, and more focused on really immersing the reader. So if your character gets a wound, it's less about the breadth and depth of that wound and more about the pain involved. Is it making X lightheaded? Is the blood coating X's hand? being matted in her hair? What does that feel like? Is it a stinging pain, a deep ache, a burn? That answer to that will often generate metaphors, for example.

At any rate, if you find yourself stuck in the PvP style of writing, then I might suggest writing the fight that way, then going back and evaluating. Ask yourself what each detail is doing for you, what it's meant to convey, and if that's really necessary for what you're trying to do overall. You don't for example, need to catalogue every minor nick your character acquires, but if at some point the bruises are starting to pile on, you may want to mention that they're having some impact and starting to slow her down. Or, if there are enough of them, they may be "mottling her entire right side a sickly wisteria color."

I hope that answered your question, but if there's still something that isn't helpful or clear, I'd be happy to entertain follow-ups. Thanks for indulging me, QB. (^_^)

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby HitoriRaven on Sat Nov 03, 2012 10:56 pm

Because when curt plugs something, I can't resist. So I'll shoot second, then.

Well, I haven't reached my one year benchmark, but I don't think I'd particularly classify myself as new. In any case, the point is that I don't consider myself a bad RPer, but of course it's a live, watch and learn experience. That said, I feel as though I can't seem to get into the flow that more experienced users have, or even the poetic kind of wording that some are known for. (see: Dragon, Veji) I find myself often using the usual [person-noun, like he, she, man, woman] [verb] type of sentence.

Even comparing to the examples that you gave for Cubee's answer, there is an obvious difference, especially in not being redundant. I also find that to be a problem, as I find myself trying not to reuse words. Not for a lack of vocabulary, but something along the lines of being unable to describe it in any other way.

Overall, I guess my question amounts to something like: any tips for getting into the flow of RPing, and also any for not being redundant? Thanks.
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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:20 pm

Thanks for the question, Hitori!

I think what you're describing is very similar to a hurdle I encountered (and sometimes still confront) in my own development as a writer. There's a sense in which one can be a very workmanlike, mechanical writer who uses appropriate levels of description and characterization, but still end up reading as very dry and repetitive.

I think the key to overcoming this and gaining fluidity is to realize that it's not only the words you write that have power: it's how you arrange them. If most of your sentences are of a medium length, for example, building in a long one can further emphasize the drudgery of a list, say, or a shorter one can sharpen a point for the reader and character alike. The way the dependent clauses are structured around the independent clause can have an effect, too- always placing them in front or always at the end can lead to a very repetitious "rhythm" in a passage of writing.

To overcome this takes practice, but there are a few things I remember being especially helpful for me personally.

1. Read good writing. You know those authors who, when you settle down and read their work, are just able to suck you into their world entirely? Well, read a lot of their stuff. Some of this structure business will come about by osmosis (so to speak) if you do that. Alternatively, go back to an old work that you remember really drawing you in, and read it again, but this time with an eye for how the author arranges their words, their paragraphs, and so on. When I did, I started to pick up on patterns, that I then practiced a ton, and by now, structural variation in sentences is second nature. I don't really have to think too hard about doing it. It frees up quite a bit of cognitive space for thinking about other considerations, like word choice and so forth.

2. Proofread your posts. If you're worried about repetitive structure and word use, giving your posts another read-over before hitting 'submit' is a prime opportunity to catch yourself in the act and start correcting for it. I went through a period where I always delayed for half an hour before posting anything, so I could go do something else and then come back to my writing with "fresher" eyes. Now, in a medium like chat, this isn't always possible, but even a quick glance-over can help.

3. Read your work out loud. I can't even begin to tell you how much this helps. If you want to get a sense of how a post "reads" to someone who isn't you, reading it aloud to yourself is incredibly helpful. You'll notice places where your phrasing is a little awkward, or where you just said the same word two seconds ago. Generally, if it reads well out loud, it reads well period. This has the added bonus effect of giving you a feel for things like consonance, assonance, and alliteration- all of which are tools that can be subtly used to impact mood.

4. Practice and experiment. In the end, improvement comes with time and dedication to the medium. Take a look at your sentences; think about how you can restructure them, and whether that restructuring will be of any use.

A simple example:

"Dagnar hefted his broadsword, laying it across his armored shoulders with a muted grunt."


It's not a bad sentence, by any means, but it does follow a standard person-action form, like you mentioned you were having trouble getting away from. One of the quickest ways to add variety in structure would be to switch the subject to something other than the person being talked about. So, for example:

"A sharp pain rippled in all directions from his shoulder, forcing a muted grunt from Dagnar as he hefted his broadsword. The solid clang as the steel of the weapon met the red iron of his pauldrons was too loud for the cavernous space, echoing several times before fading into uncomfortable silence."


There, Dagnar, despite clearly being the topic of this post, is not the subject of the sentence. Actually, it turned into two sentences, because thinking about how I wanted to structure the information allowed me to tack on a dependent clause (and hence some relevant detail) to each. Those sentences are of the same general structure, but not every single one has to be different. Not everybody need be e.e. cummings.

In the end, it all comes down to practice, and the more time you're willing to spend thinking about stuff like this, the faster it will go. That said, I think it's entirely possible to learn to vary sentence structure and word choice simply by reading the work of people who do. It just might take a bit more time. I'm sure there are other ways, too, but these are what worked for me.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Holy|Orders on Sun Nov 04, 2012 2:37 pm

i have a question for you.which style is more good or more used? i am reffering about first person style writing and third style writing.what are the advantages and the disadvantages of every style?
also for someone who doesn't has enlgish as his first/natal language,i am in this situation too since i am from europe more specificaly romania.i am meeting some obstacles in rpg since i don't know english like others considering that i have high notes at english.what should i do or what can you advice me to do in order to have a better style of writing when it comes to rpg?
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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Mon Nov 05, 2012 2:42 pm

Thanks for the queries, Holy|Orders.

I don't think there's really a "best" person perspective from which to write. By convention, most roleplays are written in the third-person limited point of view, past tense. I have, however, also seen some people make very effective use of the first-person, and on occasion I've experimented with the third-person present tense, for example. I think 3LP (third-limited-past) tends to be the most popular for a few reasons: primarily, if everyone's writing in first-person, it can get kind of boggling trying to keep track of exactly which of twelve different "I's" is currently in-focus. The limited nature of 3LP is useful because if there's no writer's omniscience, there's much less chance of character omniscience, which is a common form of godmodding. Obviously, writing in 3LP doesn't preclude the possibility of egregious godmodding/metagaming, but it does reduce it a bit.

As for the past tense, well... generally, we're telling stories with our writing, and the easiest way to do that is to assume the position of being somehow positioned "after" the events being described. As I mentioned, I have the occasional flirtation with the third-limited-present, which I like because it makes things seem more immediate, but it's more difficult to write as such.

Second person is avoided, I think, because it has all the confusion potential of first, and also seems a bit... in-your-face. I've also only seen it used well maybe twice, so there's that.

Overall, though, I think just about any combination of POV characteristics can work, but a given RP is going to be much better if everyone is using the same one, barring the occasional deliberate exception. Most people tend to prefer 3LP, so I think in most situations, that is de facto the "best" option. Not so much if everyone else is writing in first person, though.

As to your second question, regarding how to improve language skills for RP, I think that's a challenge, and I certainly admire you for endeavoring to undertake it. If I tried to write anything this complex in my other languages, I'd fail miserably.

I think the advice I'd have to give you is much like what I gave Hitori above. Read as much as you can (preferably written by good authors). Look up words you don't know, proofread as well as you can, read out loud, and more than anything, keep practicing. I've been told that immersion is the best way to learn or sharpen a language, so the more you can use your English, the better it'll become.

I hope that helped.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Tairu on Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:50 pm

Hello, I could not find where the answer to this question was located and I am new to this site so I am not understanding this. I noticed that you may create characters on here but certain Role Plays will give you a template with catogories that are not on the character creation screen that we are given when submitting a character. What do I do? I noticed that some players character sheets have it but does not. How do they enter it?
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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:01 pm

Hi there, Tairu!

Usually, in such cases, what's happening is that a GM wants more information than what is called for by the default character sheet. Most times, you just type up all the information they've asked for in the "Description" field of the ordinary template, as has been done here, for example. Other times, the GM will specify fields that they want certain information filed under. Some might want "Age" listed under the default template's "History" field, for instance. A straightforward example of what the template sheet looks like when filled out (without any extras) is here. Note the section headings in blue.

This is usually a matter of the preference of the individual GM, so if you need to know specifically what to do, asking them is probably the best way to get that information. Note that in the first sheet I linked, the fancy text effects were done by coding, which is something the GM did for me. I just filled out the sheet she provided and copy-pasted the whole thing into "Description."

I hope that helps, but if something was unclear, feel free to let me know.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby emeraldeye on Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:31 am

Is it possible to subscribe to a places thread in a role play (as opposed to just a thread on this forum)? I have a habit of forgetting about rps and this would be useful in sending me an email whenever someone posts their reply.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:17 pm

Hello, emeraldeye, and thanks for the question.

To my knowledge, no, there is no way to subscribe to a places thread. A couple of possible alternative options might be to subscribe to the OOC attached to the RP itself, in which case you should get a notification every time someone posts there (which should at least help remind you that the RP exists), or else make a habit of checking the "My Roleplays" tab here on the site, which shows the most recent posts in any of your roleplays right at the top.

A combination of both might be good; one to remind you to check, and the other to make checking a very quick process.

I hope that was at least somewhat helpful; if you think that the option to subscribe to a places thread or the activity tab would be more useful, I highly recommend suggesting it-- the site is undergoing new changes all the time and if enough other people agree with you, it could very well end up as a new feature somewhere down the line!

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Dark_Rose on Sat Mar 23, 2013 1:52 pm

I have a question about uploading the 100x100 pictures.

For me, it's not working. I drag the 100x100 picture from google images to my desktop. Then, on my RP, click upload image and choose it. When I look back, there still isn't a picture, even though I chose one that was 100x100. I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong, etc. Thank you!! :D

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:54 pm

Hi Dark_Rose!

I think the best way to upload pictures is generally to save them to your hard drive first, then upload from there. Also, try double-checking that the picture is in a common format, like .jpeg or .png, as I know for sure the site recognizes those. If you're still having trouble seeing it, try clearing your browser cache, as sometimes, the site will take the data and the image will be visible to other people, but not you. Clearing the cache may well show you that it's been there all along!

Hope this helps.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Angel'swings on Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:39 pm

I was wondering if there is a way to co own a roleplay so that a friend can also do things like approve characters and edit the main page. If there isn't I would like to know if the roleplaygateway team is working on it. Any help on this would be fantastic! Thank you:)
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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Jag on Fri Apr 19, 2013 8:14 am

Go into the Chat through your roleplay and type /addGameMaster username

That will make them a Co-GM.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Fri Apr 19, 2013 8:55 pm

What Jag said. (^_^) Do note that the co-GM functionality does not currently allow for the co-GM to approve characters, or see the ones pending approval. They do, however, gain the ability to edit RP posts, I think.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby QueenOfRayge on Sat Apr 20, 2013 7:33 am

I'm new at this and I'm so confused. How do I write one of these? And I can never tell where to begin because I can't see what the last author wrote. I don't know how to start one or even write one in general, I'm kind of scared I'll do something wrong haha

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Sat Apr 20, 2013 12:35 pm

Well, QueenOfRayge, that would largely depend on what you mean by "one of these."

If you're referring to a forum topic, in any given forum, close to the top, there should be a button that says "New Topic" which will allow you to create your own thread. If you want to reply to an existing thread... well, you've already successfully done so with this one. If you want to see what others have written, consider either typing directly in the blank box below any existing thread and hitting "submit," or, if you'd rather have access to more coding shortcuts, hit "Post Reply" and then type in the box it gives you. If you do this, the site will also provide you with a box through which you can scroll to show the previous posts that have been made in the thread (from newest to oldest, I believe).

If you were speaking more broadly and meant roleplays, those are created through the "My Roleplays" page connected to your home dock, so to speak. Simply hover over "Roleplay" in that small black bar you see at the top of your screen and travel down to "Create New" when the drop-down menu appears. As for how to go about that creation process, it's a little bit different for everyone, but I recommend doing most of the creative and structural work before you even begin its construction on this site! Have a general plot idea, a nice summary and some rules for your front page, maybe your own character or else a "GM character" which will allow you to post, and any material you want to include in the OOC.

I hope that your question was answered somewhere in there; if not, I would be happy to try again, if you could perhaps provide more specifics for you conundrum.

Welcome to RPG, by the way. I'm glad to see a new face, and I promise that the mechanics of the site are something you get used to with time.

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby NotAFlyingToy on Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:36 am

If you liked it, would you put a ring on it?

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Re: Have a Question? Ask Kiku!

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kurokiku on Tue Apr 30, 2013 5:27 pm

I'd have to like it an awful lot. The exact threshold would be correlated to the expense (monetary and temporal) of the ring involved, naturally.

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