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Help me improve this character? (Fantasy/Multiverse)

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Help me improve this character? (Fantasy/Multiverse)

Tips: 0.50 INK Postby ChaoticMarin on Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:01 pm

So I haven't really touched this character for a significant deal of time, and I simultaneously found myself hoping that perhaps I could revamp the character profile and plausibly get some help in doing so. I'm looking for quality improvement and other things I might simply be able to change to improve how fun the character is to roleplay or to be roleplayed with.

The character is here: http://www.roleplaygateway.com/roleplay/the-multiverse/characters/erika-onzanem/

I'm not remotely concerned whether she has enough or too many powers because this is the multiverse. Her backstory gives justification for any amount of power I feel like basically, so... I'm looking for ideas and feedback, basically
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Re: Help me improve this character? (Fantasy/Multiverse)

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Nightshade2012 on Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:09 pm

OK I strongly suggest cutting down the powers. I mean, seriously. It took me 20 minutes to read them all. Thats all.
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Re: Help me improve this character? (Fantasy/Multiverse)

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby lostamongtrees on Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:15 pm

Honestly, I love her the way she is, as a character.

My only advice would be to re-write the areas that you are unsure of, and go through with a grammar comb.

Since you're looking to revamp, perhaps aging her by 10 or so years, and writing the difference? A lot can happen in 10 years to change someone. Age her by ten years, and see who she turns into!

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Re: Help me improve this character? (Fantasy/Multiverse)

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby ChaoticMarin on Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:19 pm

@Nightshade2012: In contrast, it would've taken less than a minute to read the part of my post that explicitly asked people /not/ to suggest that. I'd love to hear any other suggestions, though...

@lostamongtrees: It's an interesting thought. I did that with another character. I'll have to consider it when I'm revamping things.


EDIT: I've made very significant edits to Erika's profile, including the heavy condensing of the powers list. (I didn't take away any powers. I just made the descriptions more vague.) I also added in her armor and pets sections on a whim and removed some useless fields from the form I put in the description field. I also made some edits to her history to reflect these changes.

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Re: Help me improve this character? (Fantasy/Multiverse)

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby LawOfTheLand on Sun Jun 11, 2017 11:11 pm

I think there's a character in My Hero Academia whose powers are based on that of a frog. Maybe you could watch that anime for some inspiration into what her powers are, how they work, and maybe some insights into her personality (how does she feel about being able to do all this stuff? Does it set her apart in a good or bad way?)
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Re: Help me improve this character? (Fantasy/Multiverse)

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby harley_q on Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:14 am

I like the aging idea because that could make a significant difference in any character.

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