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Let's Talk About Pain

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Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Din on Sat Oct 23, 2010 12:13 am

Hopefully this doesn't sound overly depressing, it's genuine curiosity, though.

All too many times in our lives, we've bumped heads, fallen on our bums, stubbed toes (countless times), gone through break-ups, lost someone important to us, had "one of those days," and the list goes on.

Perhaps it's obvious at this point to see that so many times, we've been hurt in so many different ways. Maybe it's foolish to try to compare them, but maybe some of us have preferences. So what if I asked which kind of pain hurts the worst? Is it even possible to compare the loss of a friend to a broken bone?

I'm not even sure if there's an objective way to put this, so speaking out of personal experience, having strained, pulled or broken a few different muscles and bones, and having lost quite a few friends, I'd venture to say that I'd much prefer physical pain over emotional.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kai on Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:50 am

From experience and from general knowledge that we have these days, physical pain is much more preferable over emotional.

Emotional pain can wreck extreme havoc on your health, inadvertently causing physical pain whether it be in a form of a simple cold, muscle cramps, headaches, or cancer development. On the other hand, if your emotional state is happy and sound, any physical pain will heal that much faster and better.

Plus it's much better (in my opinion) to look back five years and say "Hey, yeah, that was when I broke my leg in 3 different places but man, that weekend was a blast! And hey, I can walk again!" rather than. "Oh yeah, it's the fifth anniversary of our divorce today... Heh...."
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Avey on Sat Oct 23, 2010 7:16 pm

I have hit my toe so many times I have grown immune to the pain that it causes, quite literally. xD But with that said I would agree with you Dinner and Kai that I would prefer physical pain because, it heals a whole lot faster than any emotional pain. Matter of fact, emotional pain will stay with you forever (not to say that a scar from some physical pain won't). I agree with kai that
motional pain can wreck extreme havoc on your health, inadvertently causing physical pain whether it be in a form of a simple cold, muscle cramps,
etc. Ha Din we have had this discussion before so I think you know where I stand. :)

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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Absenthia on Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:00 pm

I've broken, dislocated, bruised and sprained just about anything. Not to mention probably had a concussion from a fall at an ice rink. Oh, and let's not talk about the migraines that really screw up life for me.

I agree with probably most people here that Emotional pain is the hardest to cope with. It just doesn't go away with something as simple as an aspirin or ice.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Tiko on Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:11 pm

Well... I feel a bit out of place replying to this, seeing as I have never lost anyone close to me. However I can say that I have endured physical pain to the levels of losing consciousness from the pain, as well as chronic long term pain to the point where the doctor could not believe I hadn't gotten an injury seen to for over a year. And I just wasn't phased. That's not to say that I have a high pain tolerance, I don't really.

Anyways, something someone once told me applies. They said that when you remember happy times, you will often relive that happiness, when you remember sad times, you will relive that sadness. But physical pain is fleeting. When you remember it, you don't relive the pain.

I may not have lost anyone close to me, but I do believe this is true. Emotional feelings are far more lasting than physical feelings. I can say I would suffer my physical ailments all over again rather than lose my cat. Let alone a human being. Even a casual friend I would rather suffer my pains than see lost.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Kestrel on Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:07 am

It depends, we often anticipate emotional pain to be greater than it actually is. We tend to find way to get rid of emotional pain. See, emotional pain is largely about feeling you could have done something different, when "that asshole was going to stab me in the back sooner or later anyway" comes up, you put the blame on someone else and relieve yourself of your guilt - therefore a large part of your distress.

Also sometimes you just need to toughen the fuck up and deal with it.

Granted this doesn't work everywhere, especially if the asshole happens to be a really good friend or even a lover, or something. But these things depend on severity. I'd rather break a bone than go through some of my worst days again, sure, but I'd also rather be rejected by a girl or for a job than to lay on the couch all day with that migraine that felt like it could cut through my skull from the inside out. And that was after the painkillers.

The thing is, what can you compare? You can't compare losing people close to you to breaking a leg, but compare it to losing all your limbs and imagine your life after that; it becomes a lot more difficult to answer that honestly and being politically correct.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby LawOfTheLand on Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:55 am

I used to have quite a bit of pain tolerance back in my school days, but leave it that I was teased viciously for misspelling "wheel" in the eighth grade spelling bee after making it all the way to districts the year before. Even at the end of the year, I asked for one of the guys responsible to sign my yearbook hoping that all was forgiven. It wasn't, and the scars still remain.

God, thinking about those years makes me want to e-stalk a tormentor of particular note so I can visit their house and beat the ever-living shit out of them. I realize that would mean I'm no better, but I still want to fucking do it.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Village Alchemist on Sat Oct 30, 2010 11:44 am

Emotional pain is easy to ignore or get rid of. Physical pain, without drugs (yuk), is not.

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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Northern on Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:05 am

Well, if what your asking is our opinions on what pain do we think is the worst, then I will describe my experience with you.

About two years ago, I did a front flip on a trampoline and somehow I blotched it up mid-flip. I ended up landing on my butt instead of my feet. When that happened, it caused the discs in my back to compress really hard, and it ruptured three of them. The lowest one was bulging, and started putting alot of pressure on the sciatic nerve on my right side.

That pain, was by far, the WORST thing I have ever experienced. It went on for an entire year, nonstop. Having that nerve being agitated caused my entire right leg to be in severe pain all day, every day. My walk was a limp, and I couldn't straighten my body, or come close to touching my toes. I couldn't even walk for five minutes without having to sit down because the pain was so bad. No human being could live through that pain without the use of pain meds. And if they can, then I doubt there is any way they are actually happy. Because it felt like a cinderblock was being dropped on my right leg repeatedly.

Eventually, I gave into surgery and had the piece of my disc that was pushing on the nerve cut out, relieving the pressure. The pain went away instantly. One of the greatest days of my life. It felt like this huge crushing weight was lifted from me and I was happy again.

I'd take emotionally pain over that shit anyday.

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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby libcakes on Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:09 pm

Considering the fact that I'm really reckless when it comes to sports so I've sprained ankles and hands and broken legs and toes and had numerous concussions, I'd have to agree that emotional pain is worse. It's weird but I get such a satisfaction after hurting myself because I know I've gone all out and done something right. I've tried my hardest. And knocking yourself out is just freakin' cool. After the breakup of my first major boyfriend, I still miss him and it hurts to think about him sometimes. 8 weeks vs 2+years? I'll take a broken bone any day.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Draruto on Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:19 pm

between my past demons and the forced break from the only i considering loving with most of everything i have, i feel like a hurt sad puppy, going the days of replay playing the good, with only lasted about a month, i wonder if it was worth it in the first place, i agree, emotional pain is worse and does it make a person stronger for carrying it around
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Nights Word on Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:54 am

How about I put it this way, the two are equal, because one type of pain can spur the other. Emotional such as a bad argument or a lost job which yes, I know are minor cases, do cause headaches. If something is wrong with you emotionally it can lead to you hurting yourself physically. This isn't an easy concept to explain but I shall try. If you break an arm or a leg, then you may lose your job, your car, a few of your friends, even somebody who was important to you thus causing emotional pain. If those around you feel bad it also effects your emotional state. However, if your emotionally upset you may wind up doing something stupid that may cause something like this to take affect. In other words, one type of pain can connect to the other in ways that most of us don't think about at the time but see later, when you look back on all those bad decisions. In other word, one type of pain can trigger the next if your not careful so in affect, one is almost always as bad as the other.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby A Rubber Chicken on Wed Dec 01, 2010 6:45 am

(Apologies if this is off topic)

I think a point that has yet to be raised here is that pain may not always be a bad thing (Definitely don't have a fetish, just hear me out). While extreme pains can linger on for years, or sometimes even a lifetime, more minor pains can be far less damaging, sometimes even a good thing for our health and wellbeing.

For example, the pain felt when a struggling relationship finally ends is the first step on a road to recovery and eventually, hopefully, you'll learn from the experience and be stronger because of it. The pain felt when when you move away, leaving behind friends and family lets you know that there was a closeness and a bond that can never be broken and in years to come, when you look back on times gone by, you may find a smile creep onto your face. And who hasn't felt that satisying ache in the muscles after a hard workout at the gym, a rough night in the country or a simple rollic in the rain? Or maybe the stinging in the skin when you pass from the freezing cold outside to a warm, welcoming house?

After all, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.

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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Lovely VonSchultz on Fri Dec 10, 2010 9:59 pm

That made me smile. Well put, Rubber Chicken. You must be a glass half full kinda person. -thumbs up- :)

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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby DemiKara on Fri Dec 10, 2010 10:48 pm

Summarized:
Pain sucks but is good. Physical < Emotional < Spirital. Pain teaches, even if it does hurt. Broken bones and skinned knees over other pain any day.


I've had a hard time making a post for this forum. On this, it's difficult for me to put down my ideas, as I have so very many, and some are very conflicting. It took me a while to write this post actually, and I erased it entirely several times.

I would not say that when it comes to pain, I am an expert, or there is no more experienced person out there. I would never say that, because it's a lie. Any genocide survivor is far more experienced than I could ever be, as well as any elderly person out there. They live with pain, physical and emotional, daily. I even believe there's a third kind of pain, spiritual pain, that's even worse. More insiduous and far reaching at least. But mostly it's hard for me to talk about pain because I enjoy it and hate it at the same time.

No, not as a fetish, but as a reminder. I like pain, physical pain, as a reminder I am alive. I struggled for many years with depression. Sometimes I still do, though not so much anymore. At times I felt that I must be a ghost, or dead and not there, just an after image, and the pain helped remind me I was alive.

Though I never cut myself., I was accident prone enough that not having a bruise was more miraculous than anything else. At my first job, my clumsiness was a joke. I had my own first aid kit even. I tended to cheerfully doctor myself and move on, as it was never anything too serious. Sprains and strains I'm used to also, along with bruised bones, and cracked bones. I've only had a broken arm once, but that really only slowed me down that day.

So for me, barring extreme circumstances, physical pain is a welcome reminder I'm alive. I don't seek it out, as I like my blood and bits in me, but when it happens I don't cry or whine or complain. Except for my arthritis, and even then, only when it's bad enough I can't physically move the arm from the pain of the joint do I complain. Mostly because I can never find the aspirin.

Emotional pain is hard too. I know grief. I've lost two people in my life, one close, and the other even closer. My best friend was killed by a coal truck when I was seven. An honest accident on a mountain road. No one was looking and everyone there was equally at fault, but it cost my best friend her life. That's when my emotional pain began, and it was worse after my parents divorce. Any kid who's been through divorce tends to have a period of believing it was their fault, and I was no different. Then my mom died, as well. That's probably why it's hard for my to write this.

Because of that, I would say emotional pain is horrible and in all ways trumps physical pain. Physical pain is temporary for the most part, or can be subdued or even gotten used to. Some people even have a naturally high physical pain barrier. But emotional pain can linger for years and years and years. Sometimes it can even be buried so quickly and instinctively, behind an always smling face, that it festers even.

Spiritual pain corrodes a person though. Betrayals and great losses cause this. It's a combination of mental and emotional pain that effects the very core of a person, and rarely in a good way.

All of it though, you grow from, change from, and most of it you can become a better person from. At times it's hard to see how, or why, but pain teaches always. It may not teach good things. It may not teach bad things. But it always teaches something. So pain is good for that. You grow from it.

And besides, when you're as hardheaded as I am, how else are you supposed to learn not to brake on your bike while going downhill. A good thumping on the ground teaches you real fast. Though I did miss denting that dudes car.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby tayah12 on Sun May 22, 2011 1:20 pm

I'd much rather Physical pain over Emotional. Although it's hard to say why - it takes a lot more time for Emotional pain to fade than Physical: although saying that, I guess depending on what injury you have suffered then it differs from person to person.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Opossum on Mon May 23, 2011 4:18 am

Pain is an experience, one way or another. Whenever I think of experience, I think about poems by William Blake.

I do my own body modification which started out as a response to emotional pain. When I first started to cause pain to my body, self-mutilate being another term for it, I did it because I felt out of control in how I felt... That I couldn't help being hurt because I couldn't change my husband leaving for his job for half a year or longer. So I wanted to feel control by starving myself and burning myself.

Now I no longer have a problem with food. I eat to nourish myself and have a treat once in a while, because there's so many delicious desserts in Germany.

I still burn myself--but because I want to artistically take control of my problem and make it something positive. I am burning a design into my shoulder and when I get to the shoulder blade, my friend is going to help me. All I do is put matches out in my skin. I haven't had any infections so it's been a good experience and I take care of it. The pain is always temporary. The art is permanent. I look forward to tanning so the scars stand out more.

This is my choice. Now my purpose is not to cause pain or feel pain, but to make art on myself. And if pain is one of the side-effects, so be it.

Edit: I didn't know this was such an old thread. Does this forum have a limit on how old threads are, where it is indecent to post in them? Hmm... I never read otherwise.
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Re: Let's Talk About Pain

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby StrangeCupcake on Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:06 am

First of all... I don't think it should matter how old the thread is...there's always something to be said. ::shrug:: My opinion, and it can be chucked out at any time.

That being said, I thought I had my opinion of this firmly in my mind until I read Kestrel's post, and then I realised how correct the words were. I could very easily say I'd rather deal with physical pain than emotional, but...I've been through a lot. I lost my grandfather to lung cancer in 2004,5 months after he was diagnosed...and discovered he'd known about it all along. He knew something was there before my first daughter was born in 1999 (he knew in '98). He apparently decided to live the remaining years of his life as he saw fit, rather than submitting to chemo and radiation for who-knew-how-long. This, regardless of how much it hurt, I can agree with. I lost my father three years later, to pancreatic cancer. He was told he was terminal on April 13th, after having gone through chemo and other treatments which had actually done him a lot of good. He'd been recovering! With the cancer becoming stronger, they needed to begin treatment again after taking several weeks hiatus from it. On May 11th, one week after his first treatment, he died from liver failure. He was 50 years old.

After these two losses, the torture of being the only one responsible for my father's funeral arrangements and all his final expenses, I also had to deal with being completely screwed over by the one friend I thought was the best I'd ever had. She was more than 'like a sister' to me. We shared our every secret, fear, dream, and wish. We talked every day, roleplayed together, and were basically inseparable. Out of the blue, I found myself waiting for her to show online and she wouldn't. The times I expected her to show, she'd be late or not show at all. She'd send me emails the next day or even two days after telling me that there had been bad weather or something else... It finally added up when I talked with her aunt, who was also a good friend, and was being treated the same way. The 'bad weather' email helped figure it out, because it was a lie. And her sister told us about a screen name that had been made that she was hiding on. Why she did it, neither of us ever got the full story. First I was told I never deserved such treatment, and then she laid the blame on me. I'm sorry, but I fully believe that an adult should take responsibility for their own actions. How was I to blame? I hadn't made that screen name. I hadn't signed on with it and 'forgotten' to tell anyone. Sadly, I admit to my own emotional instabilities, and because of those (which I've dealt with since I was a teen) I now deal with massive trust issues when it comes to friends...all because of this one person.

The emotional scar of the betrayal of trust is harder to bear than physical pain... I've been a cutter for years, something I've managed to keep to a minimum over the last few years. I may try my hardest never do to it anymore, but no one's perfect. However, Kestrel picked the perfect example. Migraines. I've been fighting them for nearly 8 years. And sometimes, I'd rather just have a fight with my husband than deal with another crippling headache and more medication that barely keeps it under control and prevents my ears from bleeding.

So... While I thought it was easy to say I'd rather deal with one or the other, it actually balances out. It's just a matter of degree, and what the situation is...for me, anyway.
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