To prevent any form of "brash" comments, please specify, when wanted, what kind of critiques you are wanting. We, as the readers don't know if you want us to be gentle and beat around the bush or just throw it in your face. Just sayin'. Now then, personally, I hate that you're sticking to ...
It isn't likely that the people that go to your forum will be able to copy and reproduce a book from your ideas. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it knowing this fact. But if it eases your mind, then sure, add a legal notice saying, "Hey, this is my material and if I find out you've plagiariz...
Valentine : The symbol of love rests in his hands where Red, velvet petals fall from the vine. He pulls the off slowly, debating his love. This entire line doesn't work well with the two previous and seems... "rushed", love "debating his love," though. His heart beats for one al...
Some of the breaks in this poem were jagged, and for what it is, it's suited perfectly. There were, admittedly, a few phrases that seemed odd. Such as: but your skin looked like glue, Why can't it look like winter, to keep comparison to the next line? A little green, you know, to make it happy (?) I...
basically i need help just understandin it all. Like, if you get hurt, how do you know when you're dead? Even if the fight is based around fantasy standards, keep it realistic in this aspect. If you get cut severely, then blood loss will be an issue and a critical factor to how you soon move, react...
Just a thought, but: We, as humans are evolving and there are numerous facts, visibly, that prove this. So, why can't a vampire, who has been around for generations, have evolved along the way? The chance of being able to produce semen(if male) or to give birth(if female) can occur, even if rare. Ev...
This thread makes no sense, actually. I mean, the creator owns six vampiric characters and then proceeds to slam the sudden (?) uprising in their popularity. Not sure how it's a sudden thing, as they've always been popular. I'm sure it's noted somewhere in the lines that I skimmed that this is mainl...
Love is for those who desire happiness. Love gives happiness until it is destroyed. As all things, love must come to an end. It is the ending which hurts most. It doesn't matter what happens in between, just the beginning and end. When the love bond is broken it is the breaker who hurts the most. T...
I've no problem helping in this aspect of writing. Been sparring for well over four years and know more than I care to, honestly. You want to learn how to prep posts properly, and when and how to dodge and/or strike, then you let me know. Sending a private message would be great, but, whenever and f...
Not going to lie, this is a pretty sexy piece of literature. Though, admittedly, I hate the Old-English terms that you used, as most cannot fit them properly, but you seemed to have no trouble in doing so. Kudos on that. Glad this was your beginning step into the forums Poetry section and I can't wa...
Something every writer wishes. Not too bad, though "flawed". It could sound better if you played with the word-usage just a little more. For instance, "could have" sounds better overall, instead of "could've". But, as you stated, "it doesn't work like that" al...
I'm not going to critique, but rather, tell you what I felt when reading these.
1 : It started out as a memory that ended with a quick slap to the face. Personal favorite so far. 2 : Blargh. Few too many enters, but still. 3 : Ouch. Spiteful little thing. =(