Naruto Shippuden: Vengeance Unchained (OOC and Discussion)

In the world of Naruto, there are five great nations of the Leaf, Sand, Stone, Clouds, and Waves. Interaction among these nations has always been tense, and many great ninja have gone down in history never even dreaming of a united Ninja Alliance. That day is soon to dawn, but not all would wish to see that happen. The Akatsuki, a mercenary force comprised of rogue ninja, have made much money and pleasure from fighting on behalf of one village or another. This group has taken in members of all villages, but the stalwart Hidden Cloud has supposedly never had a member fall to the Akatsuki. That was, until Chiharu Watanabe.

Not to say that Chiharu was evil. On the contrary, he was a very kind and honest boy. He loved Taijutsu, practicing it all the time because he admired ninja like Rock Lee, who overcame difficulties in Ninjutsu and Genjutsu to become a stellar ninja. He graduated from the Ninja Academy in Hidden Cloud with average grades but above average potential. He was placed with Hee, a Hidden Cloud Jonin who happened to be the brother of Cee, the Raikage's own left hand man. Chiharu's close friends from the Academy, Lee Kanzaki and Sohei Matsumura, also joined Hee's squad, and for a time, all was well.

Hee and his Genin were dispatched to the Crashing Waves Coast to intercept a supposed threat to the Hidden Cloud village. The news had come from the Fourth Kazekage, warning that his son, Gaara of the Sand, the One Tail's Jinchuriki, was going there to fight the famed Hidden Cloud Jonin and assert his dominance. The Raikage understood the power of the Jinchuriki, but still did not believe that a Hidden Sand Genin would be capable of harnessing such power and being a true threat to the Hidden Cloud. This was a horrible miscalculation that he would regret to the end of his days. Gaara was not alone, being accompanied by his siblings Temari and Kankuro, but Gaara fought alone. Knowing all too well the horror this psycho Sand ninja could inflict, Hee knew that they all had to attack or it would be for naught.

Hee decided to close in with a direct attack, getting stopped by the Sand defense on purpose. In that opening, the Genin threw all of their weapons at Gaara, thinking that it would stop him. When the Sand barrier enlarged and the attack failed, this was the beginning of the end. He trapped Hee in the Sand Coffin, and Chiharu closed in, knowing he had only seconds to save his master. With his last Kunai, he tried to sever Gaara's head from his body, but a cruel Substitution jutsu was used to teleport Gaara to the other side of the battlefield, and he destroyed Hee in one final, brutal attack. The Genin were helpless, and Kanzaki was the first to fall after being sucked under the sand and suffocated.

Gaara sent a Sand Whirlwind that tore Matsumura to shreds. The ultimate nightmare had closed in on him, and Chiharu knew that he could not run. With grief in his heart, he mustered all of his courage and charged at Gaara, knowing he would fail but determined to go down swinging. Gaara countered with a giant sand uppercut, but Chiharu's first revenge was set in motion. As he sailed away into the trees, he activated a special jutsu he had been working on for dealing with multiple enemies. His Exploding Kunai jutsu set a bag on the ground, and when it exploded, Kunai flew everywhere.

Though he failed to inflict fatal damage to any of the Sand ninja, Temari and Kankuro were still wounded in the last attack. Forced to retreat, Gaara sent a Sand Whirlwind into the forest that he was sure would finish off Chiharu. The attack failed, and Chiharu returned to the Hidden Cloud village, badly injured. Medical ninja immediately began treating him, and the Raikage was angry. But, Gaara had been acting as a rogue ninja at the time, and still enjoyed the protection of the Hidden Sand village. Disposing of Gaara would mean war with the Hidden Sand, a daunting proposition because of the mystery surrounding the Sand. With his hands tied, the Raikage was forced to let the matter drop.

Chiharu could not believe it. His master, a respected Hidden Cloud Jonin and two of their promising Genin had been murdered in cold-blood, and their supposedly fearless leader was going to do absolutely nothing about it. At that moment, hate blackened Chiharu's heart, and he cast aside his Hidden Cloud headband in disgust. The Raikage attempted to reason with Chiharu, but lost his temper when the Genin called him a spineless coward and a hypocrite. He attempted to punish Chiharu for his insubordination, but his Lariat technique was so well-known that Chiharu ducked under it and nearly sliced the Raikage's stomach open with his sharpened Kunai. Before leaving, Chiharu spit in the Raikage's face and swore that he would one day have revenge on both Gaara of the Sand and the Hidden Cloud village that had abandoned his master and friends.

Chiharu took up residence in the Land of Iron, home of the samurai. Though closely aligned with the Hidden Cloud village, even Mifune, the chief of the samurai, knew better than to challenge the might of the young man that had seriously wounded the Raikage. Chiharu grew into a teenager, and used moves learned from watching the samurai how to improve both his Kunai usage and his Taijutsu. At sixteen years old, he had become a Taijutsu master and put together a few devastating jutsu tied to the Kunai and Water Style techniques, a good style to learn in the freezing Land of Iron. With skill at the level of a Chunin, he began seriously plotting his revenge. However, an unexpected complication had thrown a kink into his plan.

Gaara was no longer the rogue ninja that wandered the countryside murdering other ninja with the power of his Tailed Beast. He had renounced both after being defeated by a Leaf ninja named Naruto Uzumaki, and had begun to take his duties as a Hidden Sand ninja more seriously. Gaara was now the Kazekage, chief of the village, and killing him would mean taking on the entire Hidden Sand. His rage redoubled, Chiharu knew that he would have to master some serious jutsu to combat the force he was up against. Having tired of the Land of Iron, he decided to go to the Leaf Village to see what he could pick up from the village that had defeated Gaara. As a rogue ninja, he was hated and distrusted by all ninja, but there was one group that was willing to embrace Chiharu with open arms.

The Akatsuki is a mercenary force at the beck and call of the highest bidder. Nagato of the Rinnegan eye and his close friends Yahiko and Konan, founded the Akatsuki to take over the world and ensure world peace. A big step toward achieving that would be the imprisonment or death of the nine Jinchuriki and the sealing of their nine Tailed Beasts. None of the Jinchuriki would be an easy fight, leading the Akatsuki to build up nine great warriors. The One Tail, Gaara, is in the crosshairs of the Akatsuki, and Nagato has sent Deidara and Sasori to deal with him. However, he can't help but wonder if it would be beneficial to employ the services of the rogue ninja that hates him the most, a ninja strong enough to wound the Raikage, Chiharu Watanabe.

It would not be easy to win over this lone wolf. Even rogue ninja hate and distrust the Akatsuki, so Nagato would have to make Chiharu see the benefit of a partnership. To use force would backfire, so he would have to use persuasion. A senior member could dazzle him with power and prestige, and a woman could take advantage of those hormones and tempt him with pleasure. With this in mind, he sent out two Akatsuki members to shadow and try to convince him to join the Akatsuki. Two forces of hate are about to converge to change everything the Five Nations thought they knew about the world.


Please note that this is an invite-only RP. If you wish to join, speak with me or the other members, Polka and Taiyaki_Timewarp.

Now, then, here is the list of Jutsu that Chiharu will use in battle:

Stage One: Chiharu's most basic jutsu

Taijutsu: martial arts strikes and throws.

Substitution Jutsu: Using an item to dodge an attack so that it takes the hit for the ninja.

Exploding Kunai Jutsu: Summons a bag of Kunai with a bomb inside. When the bomb explodes, the kunai fly everywhere and cause damage at different ranges.

Ice Style: Ice Spike Jutsu: Launches an ice spike that usually follows a line connected to the opponent after being stabbed by a kunai blade. Fits Chiharu's style perfectly.

Ice Style: Ice Storm Jutsu: His most powerful jutsu in stage one. With Ice Style, he can cause stalagmites to erupt from the ground and skewer opponents. Their power can keep even advanced ninja from getting close to him.

Stage Two: More powerful jutsu that he picks up as his adventure continues.

All previous jutsu

Water Style: Hidden Mist Jutsu: A gift from Kisame. Chiharu can vanish into the air, then strike from nowhere with kunai blades.

Water Style: Water Prison Jutsu: A second gift from Kisame. Traps opponent in a giant water bubble that is almost impenetrable.

Wind Style: Air Blade Jutsu: uses the air itself as a cutting weapon. A personal favorite of Chiharu once he masters it.

Wind Style: Razor Tornado Jutsu: Causes a tornado that slices opponent to pieces like the air blade.

Stage Three: This is where Chiharu is at his most powerful, wielding both original jutsu and a Kekkei Genkai.

Chakra Vision: A gift from Nagato, so that he can see Chakra points as if he had the Byakugan, which was only granted after he swore allegiance to the Akatsuki.

Weapon Master Jutsu: Two halves of an original jutsu developed by Chiharu for complete control over weapons.

Weapon Summoning Jutsu: Allows him to summon any weapon of any material type made of Chakra.

Living Weapon Jutsu: hardens his body with different materials and allows him to cut with any part of his body without a weapon.

Metal Style: Diamond Sword Jutsu: summons a katana made of diamond into his hand.

Iron Style: Steel Fist Jutsu: covers his fist in steel to augment his Taijutsu.

Iron Style: Steel Rain Jutsu: makes it rain kunai blades everywhere

Weapon Style: Body Hardening Jutsu: hardens his body to diamond for incredible defense.

Weapon Style: Body Sharpening Jutsu: After the hardening jutsu, tiny blades appear on the surface of his armor to cut with Taijutsu.

Weapon Style: Weapon Clone Jutsu: makes more of his special weapons, able to use more than one in combat. His favorite strategy is to use the Body Hardening and Sharpening Jutsus together, than wield two diamond swords in each hand. The combination is too much for most ninja, and only those of the Particle Style might stand a chance.

So, have at it, my friends.

I just finished reading your first post, and I have a few comments I’d like to make.

First of all I just want to say that I enjoyed reading Chiharu’s backstory. I felt it fits well within the Naruto setting while making as few changes to the original storyline as possible. Good job.

However, for some reason I was under the assumption that this RP would be taking place while Akatsuki was at the height of its power, during the first half of the Shippuden storyline when all nine members of Akatsuki were present. This was the time when Akatsuki acted the most like a mercenary group that simultaneously were hunting down and sealing the bijuu. This was also the time when many of the members were being defeated left and right by main characters, so it would make sense for Nagato to send some Akatsuki members to find powerful missing-nin to replace the members who died in battle.

After the death of Pein/Nagato and Konan, Tobi took command of the organization to further his own ambitions (the Tsuki no Me plan). Tobi was able to do this because the only members still alive at the time – Kisame and Zetsu – were the only members who were aware of the Tsuki no Me plan from the very start. All the other members of Akatsuki never knew of this plan.

It certainly makes sense for Tobi/Madara to find more members to help further his goals, but the Tsuki no Me plan isn’t exactly the type of goal that would help increase membership (people tend to prefer free will rather than being trapped in an infinite illusion). I think having the story take place before Tobi/Madara takes control of the organization would make for a better story, since that is when a majority of the Akatsuki members were still alive. That, and it would seem easier for Akatsuki to gain new members while it acted like a mercenary group with goals of world domination (and eventually world peace) through the slow process of taking over every single ninja village.

Of course quite a few members of Akatsuki had their own hidden agendas for how they wanted to manipulate this original goal for their own benefit, but my point was that not everyone knew of the Tsuki no Me plan. That was just Madara’s long-term goal, and he was only using Akatsuki to make that goal a reality.


Chiharu as a character looks fine, but I’m a little concerned about his Stage Two Jutsu. The vast majority of characters in the Naruto Universe only have access to one or two elements based on their elemental nature (a rare few have access to three elements, but this is a rare case). Chiharu seems to have a natural affinity for Fire jutsu (which is cool), but in Stage Two I think you’ve listed a little too many elemental types. Having an affinity for three or four elements would have made him a living legend throughout the ninja world, or would have been kept a heavily guarded secret by Kumogakure (Hidden Cloud village).

I’m not saying that Chiharu can’t have access to four elements, I’m just saying that his backstory doesn’t seem to reflect this unique feature. I would recommend to either limit Chiharu to having only access to one or two elements (or maybe a bloodline technique); or change Chiharu’s backstory to account for this rare affinity for multiple elements. I think the former method would make the most sense, but if you go with the latter, Kumogakure would be very concerned about him leaving the village and would likely go to extreme ends to either bring him back or kill him.


I just wanted to point these things out. Other than that, the RP looks pretty good.

Yeah, you're right. I didn't really account for how rare that was in the ninja world. I think I'll limit it to water and wind, so that he's not a Sasuke clone. As for the Akatsuki, you're absolutely right. I wanted First Half Akatsuki, but I don't know all that much about the Akatsuki from the first half, and I know very little about the Rinnegan of Pain and Nagato.

Well, you’re in luck since I’m an Akatsuki fan and I know all about their history :)
Here is a brief outline of Akatsuki-related events that occurred in the “first half” of Shippuden, which can serve as a set of guidelines to help us decide which events we want to change and which events we want to stay the same. For example, if we really want a certain character to be alive (or dead) when we start the RP we’ll know which events we would need to alter.

Basic Summary of Akatsuki History (during Shippuden, according to the manga):

● By looking at everyone’s silhouettes, we see that Akatsuki is made up of Pein, Konan, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Hidan.
● Deidara and Sasori capture Gaara and extract the ichibi.
● Sasori is defeated by Sakura and Chiyo .
● Tobi replaces Sasori and becomes Deidara’s partner.
● Tobi and Deidara capture and extract the sanbi.
● Hidan and Kakuzu capture and extract the nibi.
● Hidan and Kakuzu encounter several Kohona ninja and are both defeated.
● Kisame and Itachi capture and extract the yonbi.
● Deidara is defeated by Sasuke.
● Itachi is defeated by Sasuke.
● Taka allies with Akatsuki
● Taka attempts to capture the hachibi, but fail.
● Pein and Konan attack Kohona and attempt to capture the kyubi.
● Pein/Nagato is defeated by Naruto.
● Konan leaves Akatsuki.
● Tobi takes over what is left of Akatsuki (Kisame and Zetsu) and go to the Kage Summit with Taka.
(The manga has never been clear about when or who captures the gobi, rokubi, and nanabi, but we know they have been captured at some point within the story.)

I could continue with the History, but Akatsuki is more or less dead at this point. They are no longer following Nagato’s original goals, instead just being used to further Tobi’s own ambitions.

I recommend starting somewhere in the middle of this history. That way some Akatsuki members have died (leaving positions available for newcomers), but haven’t been taken over by Tobi yet (so they still act like a mercenary organization). Alternatively we could try starting the RP at the very beginning. What if Deidara and Sasori failed to capture Gaara? Did they both return empty-handed, or did they die in the process?

Another way we could handle this is to make heavy revisions to the order in which some of the battles take place, specifically which order the Bijuu get captured. Maybe even have different teams be assigned to different Bijuu. That way we could have Akatsuki team up with Chiharu to go after Gaara, seeing that Gaara would be the strongest link connecting Chiharu with Akatsuki.

Hope this helps :)
If you have any more questions about the Naruto storyline you can either ask me or go to Narutopedia, though that website is full of spoilers, and not recommended for those who aren't up-to-date on the story. You have been warned.

Could you use the American terms when discussing stuff, please? I don't know terms like "ichibi" and "nibi". I have never read the manga nor do I speak Japanese. So, if you're referring to the Two Tails, use that term or its real name, so I know what you're talking about. And don't use 'Konoha", use Hidden Leaf. In other words, no Japanese except for Jinchuriki, because I know what that means. It's really bugging me.

I think we'll start at the very beginning, with Deidara and Sasori going to fight Gaara. But we need you guys' characters first. I can't reconcile events without knowing who you guys will be.

Wow I missed a lot lol:)
I live in the UK so there will be a time difference in some stages, like now. I hope you are both Ok with that as I am very excited about this.

Anyway after reading through all the posts it's clear to me that Timewarp has the most knowledge about the Narutoverse. I do know a bit but it's more about the 'Good guys' so to speak so I hope you don't mind me asking you stuff if I get a little stuck.

As for creating a character...
Well if you want me to create one I can but if we are going back then would it be wiser for me to RP as someone who is already a member.
Unless you are both wanting a female in the mix but that only leaves Konan?

I roleplay with people from the UK all the time, so it's no problem for me.

Yeah, I really didn't need much. I know everything about the original Naruto series and the whole Second Half of Shippuden. It was just the First Half of Shippuden with the original Akatsuki that I was needing knowledge about. I'll answer what I can.

I do want a female, but I don't want Konan. She was a founding member alongside Nagato and Yahiko (whose corpse later became Nagato's Six Paths of Pain), and I never got that she was the kind of character that would use her body to try and recruit male members. In fact, you could play as both an OC and an original member. Kisame is still the best choice because of Chiharu's water affinity, and that puts him in contact with Itachi Uchiha (my favorite Akatsuki member). I wanted Kisame and an OC female member to try and recruit him. Itachi would hang back because the Uchihas are hated by most villages and he's a little...intimidating. So, that sounds like a good first pairing.

After Chiharu joins the Akatsuki, he will be paired with Polka's OC, so that she doesn't have to be a third wheel to Itachi and Kisame anymore. By then, we will have probably killed off two members of the Akatsuki, though which two out of the four I'm willing to part with I'm not sure yet, making Chiharu and the as-yet-to-be-named woman full members. After that, it will be onto the second and third parts of Chiharu's vengeance. This just happens to coincide with the Akatsuki's plans for peace and justice, so it works well.

@Polka: Don’t feel bad about the time zone difference. I’ve played with lots of people from different times zones, so I don’t mind.
It may look like I have a scholarship in the Narutoverse, but that is only because we’re talking about the Akatsuki. I’m only knowledgeable about the portions of the series that I really enjoy or involve favorite characters (so other portions of the series I may only know very little).

@True Grave: Ok, I’ll use the American terminology as best I can. I’ve never watched the American version of the series so I don’t exactly know how certain things get translated, but I’ll try my best. Using the Japanese terminology has become second-nature to me because not only have I been reading the manga for such a long time, but also the people I commonly talk to about the series also uses the Japanese terminology.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Starting at the beginning of things probably is the best method, since not only are all the Akatsuki members available to RP, but it also means we get to give Akatsuki an entirely new history from the very start of things. So far, this sounds good.

Choosing an Akatsuki member to RP is a little difficult, since I like most of them. However the characters I’d be the most willing to RP would probably be Kakuzu or Kisame (with a stronger preference for Kakuzu than Kisame). I could probably do a decent job RPing as any of the other Akatsuki members, but I’d probably have more fun RPing as Kakuzu or Kisame.
Unimportant Side Note: Yes, I’m used to getting odd looks by people when I tell them that Kakuzu is one of my favorite Akatsuki characters. For some reason there’s something about his character that I find fascinating. And no, this has nothing to do with his techniques, which honestly can be rather... disturbing. Had he been given an entirely different set of techniques and/or fighting style I would have still listed him amongst my favorite Akatsuki members.

As for Polka’s character, I’d be fine with Polka RPing as one of the cannon Akatsuki members or as an OC. I agree that Konan would not be the best choice for a cannon character, but I don’t think we should force Polka into playing a female character if she doesn’t want to. If she wants to RP a female character than an OC would be fine, however if she wants to RP a male character then she can choose between one of the cannon Akatsuki members or make her own OC.

I like the idea True Grave had of Kisame and Polka’s character being sent to locate and recruit Chiharu, while Itachi stays behind (maybe not even making an appearance in the first portion of the story). Once Chiharu officially joins Akatsuki I love the idea that he’s paired with Polka’s character, in which case Kisame and Itachi would then regroup and continue on their own missions.

Actually, what if Polka’s character was also a missing-nin that was being recruited alongside Chiharu? That might make for an interesting story, as the two of them could relate with each other being the newest members. Kisame might even give them some training or assist them in stealing forbidden techniques.

Just for the record, I’m fine with people RPing as multiple characters. Though in my experience it’s probably best if everyone has one “main” character, yet can RP as one or two minor characters whenever they would naturally make a cameo appearance in the story. For example, if Chiharu encounters on of the “good guys” in battle, it might be fun to have Polka use her knowledge of such characters to RP as that “good guy” for that battle.

Well, I don't mean to force her into anything. I just liked the idea of there being a female member that tried to tempt him sexually, since he's a teenager and everything. It helps test how true he is to revenge, and if he really has forsaken everything else, like friendship and romance, in its name. I got the whole idea for an early plot I wanted to do. I don't really know that much about Kakuzu, other than that he has a tentacle style of jutsu and was paired with Hidan. That's why I've been strongly encouraging Kisame, because he and Itachi are the only Akatsuki members that I know the most about.

Also, I want a female character somewhere in the main circle so that it's not a complete sausage fest. That gets really boring after awhile. So, I need you guys' canon and original characters in very soon. I want to get this started.

Don't worry I often relate more to playing a female since I am one lol.

I like both your ideas...

The idea of a sexual temptress is awesome... though it is sometimes over played a bit. What do you guys both think?

But again the idea that another new recruit could be good. It may lead to a great bond between the newbies.

But I plan on taking an original member too? At some point lol

The sexual temptress has been overplayed, but often, those characters fully commit to that role. Your character would be more along the line of an initial temptress, and once he has joined the Akatsuki, you can be yourself again. Kinda like dating lol. So, why not be another newbie that uses tempting type jutsu; you don't have to go the full blown Sexy Jutsu or anything. Also, could you take Fire and Earth elements, so that they can counter all four elements as a team? You can take a canon character, too.

Ok well I have some ideas to play around with. If you don't mind I am going to get some sleep and should be able to have a character ready for you tomorrow

Are you making a proper Rp for this soon so we can put our characters on it?

Yeah, I gotcha. You post your character sheets and characters here in the OOC. Once I have who all you're going to be playing mainly, we can start.

? What about the other system ? Where you have to submit the character ?

This isn't the tab system. This is the old-school system, the way it was when I first came to this site. It's not that much different.

I know how this system works :) It was here when I first got here I just had no idea people were still using this way. I don't mind though..

Btw are you going to create some kind of character Skeleton ? I would quite like to see your's first so I can get an idea what you are wanting from me as far as descriptions :D

Here's the character skeleton

Name:

Height:

Weight:

Age:

Hair color:

Eye color:

Appearance: (This can be a picture or description)

Jutsu: If your character gains more jutsu over time, divide it into stages. Stage one will be what they had at the very beginning. Stage two will be what they've learned at about the middle of the story. Stage three will be what they know by the end of the story.

Extra: Anything extra you'd like me to know about your character.

Please note that if you are using a canon character, you do not have to make a CS for them, for obvious reasons.

STILL WORKING ON IT

Hey, take your time. I'm not in any rush.

Here's the link to the IC: naruto-shippuden-vengeance-unchained-t83036.html

Maybe my opening post might give you guys some inspiration, or just entertain you.

True Grave wrote:Please note that if you are using a canon character, you do not have to make a CS for them, for obvious reasons.

What!? I can’t make a character sheet for Kisame? I think it would still be helpful for the RP if I do make one for him, since that way both of you (and anyone else who joins) can use it as a reference point without having to go elsewhere to research the character. Besides, the simple act of writing up a CS also helps me get into character.