As You Were

As You Were

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Introduction

As You Were..


Introduction:

If you've ever read Dr. Ian Stevenson's book titled 'Twenty Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation (1967)' then maybe you are convinced that reincarnation is one of the greatest scientific discoveries of our time by the end of his last chapter.

It took more than that however to convince me.

June 22nd of 2012: The date of a day I had a near death experience and all knowledge of my previous or first life if you will, came rushing back to me. Not that anyone else knows I was there when the incident occured.

Some humans go looking for their lifelong purpose, others are lucky enough to discover it as a passion they wish to pursue.. But me, I just knew my purpose and I'm telling you now..

It's not gonna be pretty...


Explanation:

This is a private one on one roleplay about two individuals who were reincarnated to fulfill a greater purpose.
Like a string of fate, they met in not all too cheerful circumstances where Phoebe; the girl who is aware of her rebirth meets Seth; renowned for being one of the best of the best psychiatrists in the country.
How do they meet you may ask?

Phoebe has as normal people would put it: Lost her mind.
Seth becomes her assigned treating psychiatrist after Phoebe has undergone sessions with local psychiatrists whom after 5 minutes or less, ran out of their offices chattering away to their own psychiatric wards.
What's the twist?

Not only were Seth and Phoebe reincarnated for the same purpose.
And supposedly immortal as their first death was a mistake that will not be repeated twice..
But what happens when they are forced to remember the perplexing nature of their previous lives together?
And what happens when your purpose for being alive..
Is to kill someone you hold dear to avoid the deaths of many?

This is a story designed to make you think about numerous issues and beliefs if you dare ask yourselves:
"What would I have done?"




Expect a few twists along the way folks..
That's not the whole story in a nutshell.


Roleplay created by Valkyrieknight & The Illusionist
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The Story So Far... Write a Post » as written by 2 authors

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After finishing her meal, Phoebe was sitting on her bed with her legs propped up so her head was situated between her knees. The more time she was left in solitude, the more the room felt smaller and the situation too overwhelming for her to think about logically. Her eyes were closed, the only thought running through her mind was: Think..think. As happy as she was before and as less mental with improvements she thought she was getting at, it was fading away slowly with her insanity winning the race by a mile. Her purpose and Seth, she wasn’t sure how to balance the two. She knew he had experience with crazy patients like James Snider but what if it was her, what if she was the one who killed people. What would he think? Would everything fall apart? Everything happens for a reason.. but what reason could that be? Phoebe could hear footsteps passing by her door again and again along with every squeak her bed made when she shifted even a little. She was highly alert of her surroundings as if expecting an attack or some unwanted disturbance. Maybe she was just getting paranoid. “Think Phoebe.” She heard a voice snap inside her head that sounded a lot like her but wasn’t hers. “Think Phoebe..” it echoed again and soon enough she was having a hallucination. She lifted her head from the security of her knees to see another version of herself standing in front of the bed. She hadn’t fallen asleep and she knew without a doubt no twin existed. Phoebe also strangely knew from those two things that she was hallucinating which made the vision all the more worse. “What should I be thinking?” she asked the other self, hesitating. Phoebe hated the fact that she hadn’t made any progress. She was still as insane as ever and it looked like no amount of happiness could cure that.

The second fake self sat on the bed before giving the real Phoebe a reminder. It was as if her subconscious was communicating with her when it said: “You’ve forgotten what he said..” Phoebe’s eyes widened, staring at the other self confused. “I’ve forgotten what..?” The more she thought about it, it was like two sides coming out to play. Her mental/subconscious side was her hallucination trying to tell her what to do and she..she was the normal role; the innocent college student who wanted nothing to do with it. “You’ve forgotten Seth has a mental side of his own...” it lectured and the memory ran through her own mind. It’s right… back when he locked the door. “I’d be careful if I were you.. oh wait, I am you.” The mental side teased before vanishing into thin air and the hallucination was over. The real Phoebe was left sitting on the bed gobsmacked. No matter how good things turn out.. you’re never going to leave me alone are you? she thought but the mental side didn’t answer. She was afraid, very afraid sitting there in the dark with no one but herself. I have to think.. she closed her eyes going back to placing her head between her knees. All the things he said to me that day.. all the things he said to me today.. She sighed. Maybe we’re both insane... The environment was filled with silence and the footsteps outside had stopped as if nobody was there anymore. She had lost track of time and what to do with the time she had left. We’re both insane.. and we both have a purpose to fulfil.. She just had a bad intuitive feeling of what was to come. I’ve hurt so many people without touching them.. I’m already a monster.

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Seth hated busy work and things like that and as he put pencil to paper he found himself incredibly bored, staring at the ceiling and out the window more than at the actual patient log he was trying to update. Eventually he finished it thought, getting everything he needed written in it jotted down as well as some simple things that would embellish a bit on what happened. When he was done it still wasn't quite time for him to go and see Phoebe, he wanted to be sure that it wasn't obvious he was excited to see her, especially after their trip and all that would be suspected because of it. So he sat in his office for a bit and just stared off into space for a bit trying to let his head wrap around all that happened and all that would happen because of it. He was thinking that there were parts of him he didn't even understand deep down. He had this old him which seemed to be the true dominant personality but there was also the him who had been in control for so long, cold and calculating to the point of killing anyone he thought unfit for life. There was the extremely dark side of him that reigned over him until a little while ago and he knew it was still there buried beneath his true personality. He couldn't help but wonder if it would try and overpower him eventually, if the crazy in him would come out at some point or another. He didn't much care thinking he could control it for the most part but monsters were always hard to control forever and it was most likely only a matter of time before it made some sort of appearance. He also couldn't help but wonder what his brother would think, would he notice the differences or would Seth appear as the same person. Not that he cared, he still loved his brother and he was sure changing a bit would please the guy who was always calling him cold and stubborn.

A glance to the clock snapped Seth out of his deep thought and back to reality, it had been long enough, longer than he had figured since he began thinking but that didn't matter, he was already a bit excited as he thought about seeing her. He smiled, only a quick smile quickly hiding it behind a mask of indifference as he walked out of his office and down the hall. About halfway there he ran into Kristine again, she came over to him and handed him with a bright smile and rather different attitude than earlier, "Hey Seth." She was rather cheerful and he was immediately suspicious but he just gave her a fake smile and spoke back normally, "Nurse Kristine, how is Phoebe since we got back. Anything alarming or substantial in her behavior?" he asked, straight to business unlike how he would have been before he met Phoebe, the way Kristine was hoping he would be. She held back a frown and kept a professional manner "She seems to be doing fine, actually calm if I do say so. I hope the trip really does help." She couldn't help but think it would of course, she was enamored with Dr. Wexler and she believed him to be a brilliant psychiatrist even though his personality was at times a bit destructive. "I believe it helped a lot, the progress made was definitely much greater than I anticipated. Anyways, I am going to see her now to evaluate how she is doing, thank you for the insight Kristine." he said with another fake smile before walking off, ignoring the slight pout she put on as he walked away, choosing to ignore it since he figured it hadn't been a conscious actions. It was funny, sometimes people were the most honest when they weren't even trying to be.

Seth smiled, maybe he was like that as well, the thought of Phoebe made him smile genuinely and although he hadn't noticed it right off as he walked down the hall quite a few nurses were looking his way and it took him a minute but he realized the look on his face was one of happiness. A break in his mask and he didn't even notice. Not good Seth not good at all. Before he could continue to chastise himself or do much to fix the matter he was at her door, stopping in his tracks and looking at the simple design finding a moment to gather himself before finally knocking. "Phoebe, it is Dr. Wexler, I wanted to have a small chat, would you mind if I came in?" he asked trying to keep up appearances for those that were around him in the hallways, knowing that if he just barged in without knocking or anything they would find it odd, especially at such an odd time.

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I told myself.. I'd never let him have me.
Not ever again..
I told myself that didn't I?


Yet here Phoebe was, sitting in the solitude of her room with contradicting thoughts, again clinging to the hope that he had changed in this new lifetime. Of course, that was a real possibility; experiences shaped people. In this lifetime there were few things that showed he was different. He was a psychiatrist; the job itself self explanatory as something not entirely selfish, he was and had always been, looking out for her since day one of her stay at the hospital regardless of whether or not he was aware of the special treatment himself. But still.. there was an unsettling, lingering feeling that she was just another victim falling into a trap of sorts, being lured into a lion's territory and at any moment he would have the last laugh. He was and still had demonstrated himself to be however, a man of womanising pursuits. Her eyes narrowed as she curled into a ball, a pair of two small feet dangling off the edge of the bed. Oh how it hurt to have her logical insecurities battle with a heart that ached and acted on its own regardless. Why.. just why? She placed her hand over her heart, eyes closing as it continued to fight and ache remembering all the things she didn't want to remember. Was he really worth the risk? Or is it the risk that I was always in love with? That thought, for a mental patient as logical as herself.. easily stroke fear. It made sense didn't it? If he had changed, what was it that he still had that she was still falling for... could that be it?

Don't be stupid Phoebe.. she lectured herself, opening her eyes as she realised her grasp over the left of her shirt. She hadn't changed back into standard uniform yet, she was still wearing the top he had bought her at his own expense. Phoebe rewinded the outing in her head, at first it had been a battle of wits. They were fighting indirectly to gain the upper hand, they were both clever and in a sense ruthless to have their way.. but then they had both given in to weakness. She almost chuckled at how ridiculous the circumstances were. Ah yes fate.. you sure do toy with me. No, as much as mysterious Seth was with that other side of his personality that she still didn't understand well enough to judge, and as much as a womanizer he was... all the heartfelt things he said? There was no way it could all be lies. That would just be his act done x3 of what he required to get any woman he sought after. It was in short, too much of unnecessary. That's right.. he didn't have to choose me to sweet talk that way. I suppose I should be..flattered? Phoebe felt her cheeks burn like a silly school girl having to remember the kiss and having slept beside him that night. Oh why do I punish myself like this! she asked herself rhetorically, falling backwards onto the bed and leaning on her side to reach for a pillow to bury her face in. She just wanted to scream all her frustrations in the comfort of that pillow. Not like she had anyone to tell.. but herself. Telling Seth was out of the question.. she didn't want to be that obvious. Nonetheless, he was her treating psychiatrist and she was the mental patient. Nothing would change that.. nothing.

"Phoebe, it is Dr. Wexler, I wanted to have a small chat, would you mind if I came in?" Speak of the devil.. she admittedly, panicked. How her mental side hated to see Phoebe normalise this much already in such a short period of time but it would make sure this didn't last long enough... there was still a purpose to complete in the end. Phoebe sat up on her bed, placing the pillow back where it originally was neatly as to hide her little girly fit. It was time to face reality, head on. She cleared her throat twice, trying to pull her act together but even then it was a bit shaky as if she were feeling cold but rather, it was the intensity of matters finally revealing a bit of emotion than she wanted to. She had to.. go back to being emotionless soon enough. "No.." she replied, loud enough that she hoped it could be heard on the other side of the door. She was trying to say, "No I don't mind" but such a formality in response would be suspicious. Besides, she was supposed to be viewed as a difficult patient. "No don't come in" which would be a normal thing for uncooperative patients like herself, nothing suspicious at all.. especially for someone who was deemed mental to begin with. All she could do was wait for the inevitable twist of the door knob.

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Seth stood at the door, hoping for an answer from Phoebe before things got too awkward in the hall. Some of the awkwardness was no doubt just his imagination, but it felt like people were staring at him like they knew what had happened. It was preposterous that anybody knew but still, it was just one of those things, with all the people looking at him. It wasn't about the nurses and patients in the halls though, it was all about Phoebe and he wanted to see her, even if only for a moment. "No.." Her response froze Seth a bit and he just stood there, hiding the shock from his face and taking a moment to think it over. He quickly realized that it was just the usual answer, the answer everyone else besides him would be expecting and so he calmly sighed to himself, listening as she continued telling him to keep out, "No don't come in." Seth just stood there for a moment trying to decide whether he should go in anyways or simply walk away and let her have her wish. He tried to think of the position, tried to convince himself that going with what he would do with any other patient would be the best idea. That would be to say something about their session the next day or to tell her something random just to make it seem like he had an important reason for being at her door, but he didn't really want to do that, he wanted to see her and nothing was changing that, even onlookers. So he sighed and turned the door knob, "Well sorry because I want to talk to you." He slipped through the door and closed it behind himself, looking over at Phoebe as soon as he entered the room, every fiber of his being seeming to light up from the mere sight of her.

Damn Seth, everything has changed... One girl makes you feel this way. After the little trip together it was all different, everything had changed and that was no exaggeration. It was so hard for him to grasp, his intelligence didn't really let him get a hold on this situation as it did most others. Instead he had to rely on the information from his memories and the past couple days to try and figure all of it out, and it was not easy. All he knew was that Phoebe had a special place in his heart for whatever reason and apparently it had been that way for much longer than he could comprehend. He walked over to the edge of the bed and just stood there, hands in his pockets and his eyes on her. "Well, I am here to see you. Settling back in alright?" He was genuinely curious if she was settling in alright, she was still in the clothes he bought her and it couldn't be easy to come back to the dreary place and just accept it. It was a bit horrible for him as well, he knew who she really was, knew she had changed since her first day here, but he could do nothing with that information. It was a simple fact that if he tried to explain the changes, there would be a lot of unanswerable questions and that would complicate things. There was so much that needed to be discussed though and he would bring it up in time, for now he was going to ease into the conversation for two reasons. The first of which was that he wanted to make sure they didn't go too quick with this, it was new and rushing into some deep conversation in this place wasn't good, and they could talk more seriously in sessions. Secondly, he wasn't entirely sure that she would want to talk about all this or to him, for all he knew she would revert because while he did know she had changed, he was also a psychiatrist and he knew what people in her situation did at times, and he figured he would just ask the one simple question and see how she reacted.

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