Introduction
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Her room was rarely ever clean as of late since she has never had enough motivation to bother with cleaning it. Not to mention, there was no way she was letting maids into her sanctuary, she'd never find a goddamn thing. She had managed to tug on a skirt and hoodie she had scraped up off the floor as she rushed out of her room. She had set her alarm specifically for nine-thirty in the morning, and with good reason.
As she pulled on her hoodie over her bra, she rushed down the stairs almost falling near the end. Rounding the bannister at the bottom, she rushed down the hallway and stopped at the front door. Pulled her hair free from within her sweatshirt, she inhaled a short breath as she watched the mailman walk up to the front door. He flipped open the box that hung on the wall just off to the side of the door and as soon as he was once again off of the property, Vi opened the door and reached into the mailbox pulling free the package she had been waiting so impatiently for.
Hugging the decently sized brown package to her chest she smiled as she stepped back inside to make her way over to the kitchen. Placing the package on the counter, she made her way to the coffee maker to start a pot. Once it was brewing, she turned her attention back to the package and opened it. Four mint containers fell from the package and clattered onto the counter. "Oh, you're so good to me." She whispered as she stacked the containers on top of one another and admired them for a moment. Her dealer had surprised her with double the quantity, and she figured it was because he probably knew just how deep she had sunk in the whirlwind of drugs.
After a few moments, she opened the top container and took two mints out, popping them into her mouth and swallowing them. Letting out a deep sigh of air, she gripped the edges of the counter as she waited for the Murder 8 to set into her system. She had always settled for Percodan over the generic Oxycodone. She wasn't sure why, but she seemed to think there was a different high for each one, and Murder 8 was her top choice. Vi knew that she needed to get the pills to her hiding spot before Ryley found out, or anyone for that matter. It was her own little secret anyways.
Not knowing whether the asshole was awake or not, Vi opted for tucking them back into the package and putting them into her purse for the time being. Vi then moved back to the coffee maker, pouring a cup for herself and drinking the beverage black. She made her way over towards the refrigerator to look for something to eat as she held the mug close to her mouth.
However, he fully intended upon making the best out of the time. It was hard to know when there would be a new show that he'd want to try for. Ryley was quick to get ready for the day. Only once he was happy with his appearance did he exit the room and move throughout the home.
Ryley headed down to the kitchen, easily seeing that Violet wasn't up yet. Not that it mattered to him. The longer he had to himself, the better in his opinion. He was quick to make himself a cup of coffee and then made his way to the living room. He took a seat on the couch, relaxing, picking up a book that he'd been reading during his downtime.
There was a time when he'd adored Violet. More than anything. However, due to his own actions, a rift had quickly formed between them and he honestly doubted that it would ever change. He'd ruined what they'd had and he would never forgive himself for it. Not that he'd ever tell her that. He couldn't. He could just imagine how she'd react.
He tried to push the thoughts from his mind, trying to focus on his book. He was supposed to be relaxing and thinking about Violet did the opposite of that. At last, he succeeded, losing himself in the pages. After some time had passed, Ryland could hear Violet in the kitchen. He sat his book down, simply listening for a few moments. She very likely had no clue that he was already up..and he was fine with that. He allowed her to go uninterrupted with her task for a few moments before he rose from his seat and slowly made his way into the kitchen.
When he arrived, he paused in the doorway so as to simply watch her for a short moment. She was in the refrigerator, likely looking for something to eat. It was then that he chose to break the silence and to announce his presence. "Honey, I hope that you're watching what you're pulling out of that thing." His gaze rested on her easily, waiting for her reaction. His words had held a rudeness to them that he'd become used to speaking to her with. There had been a time when he never would have spoken to her in such a way. Not now. Now..he simply treated her as she treated him. "I'd hate for it to find somewhere that you don't want it to. In your line of work...looks are everything."
Grabbing two chocolate eclairs from the fridge, she set the small container they were in on the counter behind her. Once Vi grabbed her coffee and turned around fully, she looked at him. He was standing in the doorway looking at her with an easy gaze. His face used to always make her smile, fill her with happiness. However, after what he did, the only thing she saw in him when she looked at him was a body of flesh that she was stuck with for however long. She didn't know how long they were going to keep up the fake relationship, but she figured that as soon as their relationship stopped making front pages, Vi would et the hell away from him.
Returning a look to him that was full of careless boredom, she rolled her eyes. "Thanks but last time I checked, you're not my fucking health trainer. So fuck off." She spoke in a snappy tone as she made a deal of biting the first eclair. As if she was shoving it in his face. Although the pills had finally set in, she only took enough to numb herself. Not enough to really mess her up. "Don't you have somewhere to be or something? Anything to get you out of my sight. You're an eyesore." She spoke, turning her attention back to her coffee.
Scraping her phone off of the counter, she occupied herself with reading messages and emails she hadn't responded to from the night before. She was too drunk last night to even look at the time on her phone. Fortunately, the pills aided the hangover. However, her attire probably said enough about how her night went.
It was in an email that had her groaning in annoyance. She tossed her phone back onto the counter as she tossed the eclair container in the garbage. "Don't enjoy your day off too much. We have shit to do later... Fucking bastards." She muttered the last part, annoyed that they were booked to go to a stupid movie premiere. Topping off a second cup of coffee, Vi made her way out of the kitchen, not bothering to tell Ryley what they had to do later. Vi made her way out to the backyard to soak herself in the morning sun. Staring blankly at the pool, Vi couldn't help but to feel angry throughout her entire being. Just being around Ryley made her want to go insane.
"Don't you have somewhere to be or something? Anything to get you out of my sight. You're an eyesore." Ryley suddenly laughed at her comment. "I hate to disappoint you but I'm completely free today. So, I think I'll be staying here. And I'm far from an eyesore. Clearly your eyes are fucked up." Ryland knew that there had been no point in even trying to speak to her. He watched as she picked her phone up and began doing..something on it.
A few moments passed before Violet was groaning in annoyance. Her phone was tossed back onto the counter as she tossed the container in the trash. "Don't enjoy your day off too much. We have shit to do later... Fucking bastards." He had no clue what she was talking about. As far as he knew they'd not been booked for anything. However, before he could ask Violet about it she was heading out of the kitchen. He hesitated. Ryland wanted to speak with her but he could tell that she was angry with him. Still.
Not that he could blame her. He never should have slept with Nathan..but he had. With a sigh, Ryley headed back into the living room. Only, this time he opted for watching some tv. He sat back down on the couch and then turned the television on, searching for something to watch. It didn't take him long to settle on something. He turned his full focus to the show, trying to get Violet out of his mind.
He'd ask her when she came back in what they would be doing later. It was likely some sort of appearance or something of the sort. It always was. Not that he minded. He always enjoyed being the center of attention. Something that most people knew by now. He knew that regardless of what they'd be doing that he'd need to figure out what to wear.
However, before he continue the thought, his sister Mackenzie sent him a message. She was the second youngest, only older than Ryley and for that reason they'd become very close. He knew that she worried about him, continually told him that she could tell that something was wrong even though he always denied it. Ryley intended to keep everything from her..from his family. He didn't care for the lecture he knew would come if they ever found out what he'd done to Violet.
She never let it soak in just how much he had hurt her. There was one time she tried to let all of it into her mind as she tried to sort it out, but it had ended in too much crying. As of late, whenever she felt that her mind would wander to the places she forced to keep buried, she would resort to taking more pills or drinking more booze; anything to keep her from feeling the way she did the one time she had let it happen.
More recently than not, however, Vi's hatred for Ryley was something that had become a habit rather than being based on her emotions. She couldn't remember the last time she had a civil conversation, which was why she had been stuck on the patio for so long. She wanted to try for something civil, but every time that she felt she was ready to speak to him again, it was like the door handle was a trigger. As soon as Vi would try to step back into the house, she was almost immediately flooded with hate.
She wasn't sure why she wanted to try to be civil, but something in her assumed it was the fact that her day was already going so smoothly. I mean... she did receive a double order that morning. Finally, Vi made it into the house. Trying to keep her movements slow and her thoughts calm, she heard the sounds of the television echoing throughout the first floor of the home. Following the sound to its source, she found Ryley on the couch. Inhaling a breath before speaking, she forced herself to speak slowly and calmly although it was clearly strained.
"We have to be at the red carpet movie premier by seven. I'm going to head out for the day, but I will be back in time to get ready. Our limo will get us at six-thirty." She spoke, and as soon as the last word escaped her lips, Vi made her way from the room and back towards the kitchen. Making sure to grab her purse with her package. Once she did, she made her way upstairs to get ready. It wasn't until about an hour or so later that Vi came back down showered, and put together. She had donned a simple grey dress that she had spiced up with a pair of red pumps. Just after she had gotten out of the shower, Vi took one more pill and by now the high was hitting her all over again. "See ya." She called as she grabbed her car keys off of the hook by the door and made her way out to her car. She figured it was only a matter of time before paparazzi was on her trail, and Vi made sure to be as quick as possible in order to avoid such a disturbance.
The sound of Violet's voice caused Ryland to turn so that he could look at her. It was likely the first time in a year that she'd spoken to him so calmly. She moved from the room the moment she'd stopped speaking and Ryley watched her leave. When he was alone once again, Ryley turned back around to continue watching the television. The show that was on was something that he'd seen before though he'd liked it. He got a bit more comfortable on the couch, pulling a blanket about him.
He allowed himself to solely focus on the picture until he heard Violet speaking to him as she left. "See ya." He had no idea what had gotten into her and he wasn't exactly sure how to react. He'd become so used to her anger and hate that anything but that threw him off. He couldn't help but wonder what had come over her that day. He shook his head slightly, deciding that he wouldn't worry about it.
The day passed in a fairly boring fashion. Ryley spent the time either watching television or sleeping. Only as the day began to get later did he rise fully from the couch. He needed to get ready for the evening. He headed upstairs to his room and then made his way into his bathroom. He was quick to get a show and then was out and working on drying his hair. He then moved from the room and back into the bedroom. He then spent a time trying to decide what he wanted to wear for the evening. Finally, he decided on a outifit and got dressed.
He then finished with fixing his hair. Only when he was happy with his appearance did he finally come out of his room. He took his time heading down to the kitchen. He checked the time on his phone. They had only a few minutes before they would be leaving. Ryley leaned against the table, waiting for Violet. He couldn't help but wonder how the night would go. He sighed softly at the thought. He missed the way things used to be. However, he could not keep asking Violet for forgiveness. He'd stopped a long time ago when he'd realized that there was no point in it.
He quickly pushed the thoughts from his mind. There was no use in bothering himself with such thoughts. It wouldn't help. He just wished that he had someone that he could talk to about it. "Vi! Come on or we'll be late!" He suddenly called out, no true emotion behind his words. It wouldn't do for them to arrive later than normal. They had an image to uphold after all and he wouldn't allow the woman to destroy that.
It was something she always did when she was going out. It was the only way that she was able to hide what she was really taking. Removing half of the mints from the container, she set them on the counter and replaced them with half of the pills from the other container. Placing the mints from the counter into the original pill container, she wound up with two Altoids containers with half pills and half mints. The pills were small enough that when she needed a 'mint' all she had to do was pick out a mint and a pill and take them together. The only thing she had to worry about was eyes on her container. Just before she closed the second container, Vi made sure to take another pill, knowing that she probably wouldn't get another chance to until they sat down for the movie.
Once she was happy with her drug disguise, she refocused her attention back on herself in the mirror. Vi touched up her lipstick as she leaned in towards the mirror. It was then that she noticed the hickey that her secret friend had given her earlier that day. "Dammit, Jack." She whispered to herself and grabbed her cover up. Fortunately, the red mark wasn't too noticeable and was easily covered up by the makeup. However, she was still pissed the man had left a mark after countless times of explicit details on what not to do. It wasn't that much of a big deal, seeing as if the paparazzi found out they would just assume that it was Ryley's doing. However, if Ryley found out she wasn't sure whether he would play along or not. Of course, in public he most likely would since they both had reputations to uphold, but she didn't want anything else pushing them apart. It would just become more of a nuisance.
"Vi! Come on or we'll be late!" Lighting up the screen on her phone, she realized that she was running on limited time. Rushing from the bathroom and grabbing one of the two Altoids containers and leaving the other on the counter, she quickly got into her outfit. She hopped her way out of her room as she shoved on her heels, and just before she entered the hallway she grabbed a small purse that she tucked her phone, keys, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, credit cards, and of course- Altoids into. "Shut up, I'm coming." She responded in annoyance as she made her way back down the stairs.
Holding on to the railing as she went down each step carefully, she stopped at the bottom and took the few steps down the hall and into the kitchen. When she saw him, she rolled her eyes a little as she dusted a stray lock of hair from her face. It was right before she was about to make a comment about his glittery outfit that the sound of a horn outside caught her attention. Perfect timing. She thought to herself, raising a finger in response to the horn and moved towards the front door without another word. It was at moments like these that she thanked the assistance of pills and an acting career that she was able to tolerate pretending to actually like - love - Ryley. She stopped at the door, holding her hand on the handle as she lifted her other arm towards Ryley. "Let's give 'em hell." She said blankly as she waited for him to hook arms with her before they headed out of the home.
He moved, following Violet a bit more slowly so that she reached the door before him. She then held one of her arms out towards him. "Let's give 'em hell." She said and it was then that Ryley linked arms with her, moving so that they were quite close. He did not say anything as they made their way out to the car. The door was opened for them and Ryley moved to allow Violet to get in first, then following her. He took a seat next to her, trying to give her the space that she needed without it seeming like anything was off between them.
The driver got back in and soon enough they were moving. Ryley turned his gaze so that he was looking out the window, watching as the car moved along. "So what movie is it that we're headed to see?" He asked suddenly, not bothering to look at the woman next to him. He was silent, allowing her to speak as she wished. Only once she had did Ryley suddenly look at her. His gaze held nothing within it save for slight curiosity. He'd not bothered to try to figure it out earlier and he figured that it would most likely be a good idea to know what they were headed to see..in the off chance that they were asked anything about it beforehand.
Once Violet had spoken, Ryley simply nodded before he pulled his phone out. Another message from his sister. He was quick to open it and reply. Anymore, to Ryley at least, he spoke more with Mackenzie than he did Violet. To him, this was odd...he lived with Violet and so one would assume that she would be the one that he interacted with the most. Honestly, Ryley missed Violet..deep down. However, after everything that had happened between them..he doubted that they'd ever be more than they were right then. Their car rides..he hated them. He always seemed to fall silent until they arrived at their destinations.
He knew that soon enough the ride would be over and they'd be out before the public, pretending to be in love and happy with one another. It was always tiring for him and he wasn't looking forward to it. If he'd had his way, he would have just stayed at home that night. However, he knew that if he'd tried refusing to come that Violet would have become much more cross with him. He looked over to her once again. "We'll be there soon." He said softly. It was time that they fully put up their act. They couldn't risk the public seeing anything else.
Violet hated car rides with Ryley more than living with him. She hated how close they were, hated the fact that she had to touch him. Every time they were in a car, she resorted to her phone for entertainment. However, there was a time when they used to laugh and have a good time on their way to events like these. But those days were over a year ago, and that was before he decided to cheat on her. Most of all, she hated car rides because it always meant that when they reached their destination she had to put on the facade that they were still in love, happy, and there was nothing wrong. As an actor, it wasn't a problem. As Violet, it was a big problem.
"We'll be there soon." He said, and Violet didn't acknowledge his words. Rather, she opened the camera on her phone and pulled her lipstick from her purse to touch up the handiwork she had done earlier. Once she was done, she reached back into her small bag and pulled the Altoids container free. Violet knew she was risking Ryley seeing, but she figured she was careful enough. She opened the container and pulled a mint and a pill free. As she popped them into her mouth, the limo hit a bump. Enough to move the pills in the container around. Closing the lid before the situation got worse, she placed the container back into her bag.
It was just a few seconds later that the car slowed to a stop and their driver was exiting the vehicle. He came around to open the door for them, Ryley being the first to get out. Once he was out, Vi was close behind him. Once she was out and standing, she immediately moved to stand close to him. She wrapped her hand around his waist, her eye level was just at his shoulders as she stood next to him. She smiled and waved at the cameras that immediately bombarding them. Turning after a moment to look up at Ryley and smile sweetly. However, in her mind, she thought about the same thing she always did.
When were the drugs going to set in? She hated touching him, all she thought about was finding him in bed with another. There was a time when his closeness made her feel like she was invincible. When his touch made her forget about all of her worries. A time when she wasn't on pills every waking moment of the day. Now, no matter how close they were, she felt so alone. That her arm was simply wrapped around a body, a stranger. To the outside world, it appeared as though Ryley was far from a stranger to her. Rather, he was someone she adored and loved dearly. He appeared to be the person that Violet used to see him as. Her rock.
They started their way down the elegantly designed red carpet, and she swayed her hips as she laughed daintily. They stopped at the various checkpoints along the way, but it wasn't until the third that they were bombarding by a reporter. "Well look what we have here, our fabulous lover birds!" The woman had started as she spoke into a microphone, a camera man just behind her. The woman was skinny, with long straight hair and a narrow face. "Your fans have been the most supportive as of late, however, there's some rumor flying around that you two have had something going on that has been putting your relationship to the test. Can you tell us more about that?" The woman spoke, and Violet's stomach sank. She kept a smile, nodding at the woman's words before looking from her up to Ryley.
"Ah, yes. So they've caught on!" She started as she stalled, hoping that Ryley would come up with something to cover for them. If he didn't, Violet would have to resort to the statement she only planned to make when they stuttered for too long. She never wanted to make the statement, because it meant a lot more problems to follow, however, she had it in the back of her mind in case of emergency situations.
It could wait. After a few seconds passed, the car slowed to a stop and the driver had exited the vehicles and made his way to the door to let them out. The door opened and Ryley was the first to get out. He straightened up and then waited for Violet. When she was out of the car and standing close to him, her arm wrapping about his waist. Ryley immediately allowed his arm to circle Violet's shoulders, keeping her close to him. He smiled immediately, the cameras suddenly appearing.
Ryley had never been one to shy away from the cameras and even now, with all of the troubles that they were having, he enjoyed it. As Violet turned to him, smiling, he returned the gesture all too easily. Standing so close to Vi threatened to bring back all of the feelings he'd once had for her. However, he was quick to ignore them. He needed to focus on the end goal. They needed each other right now..whether they liked it or not.
Together, they began the way down the red carpet. Ryley still remained close to the woman, knowing how it would look if they acted any different than they had when they'd first gotten together and had become famous. Ryley continued smiling and even laughed when it was called for. They stopped a few times as they walked, soon becoming bombarded by a reporter. "Well look what we have here, our fabulous lover birds! Your fans have been the most supportive as of late, however, there's some rumor flying around that you two have had something going on that has been putting your relationship to the test. Can you tell us more about that?"
Ryley stayed silent, allowing Violet to speak. "Ah, yes. So they've caught on!" The woman said as she looked up to him. Ryley glanced to her with a smile on his face. "It seems so. But, it was only a matter of time." He said happily. He was showing nothing but happiness. There was only one thing that he could tell the reporter..something that Violet and he had previously decided upon. He pulled the woman at his side a bit closer, the smile never leaving his face. "I've asked Violet to marry me..and she's accepted."
He knew that everyone would soon be abuzz with the news. He'd honestly hoped not to have to use that card but they simply couldn't allow anyone to discover what was truly going on. It would destroy everything that they now had. He turned his gaze to Violet, allowing her to take the lead now. Ryley was not pleased that they'd had to employ their plan. It, in truth, would make things a bit more difficult for them. However, they'd had no choice. As he'd allowed Violet to speak with the reporter for a bit longer, he finally began to pull Violet along with him. They needed to move along. His family would likely hear about their 'engagement' soon..they would begin pestering him nonstop until he explained to them why he'd kept everything from them. He was not looking forward to it.
The movement didn't go unnoticed to the reporter, and was the only sign that something was up with Violet. Conveniently, Ryley's words aided in an explaination that would cover up what was really going on in her mind. Her mind was on a rollercoaster of euphoria, to the extent that she was surprised she even heard the words leave Ryley's mouth. "I've asked Violetn to marry me..and she's accepted." The words didn't register, she just knew that they covered up what ws going on with her. Someting she was thankful for.
Except, at the sound of gasps filled with nothing but excitement, Vi could feel her heart pouding heavily, almost like it was going to burst out of her chest. She could feel bursts of adrenaline and anxiety explode within her, and it was the utmost worst combination with the amount of drugs she was on. In spite of the hurricane inside of her, Violet carried on the conversation with the reporter for some time longer, explaining that the didn't have a wedding date or anything picked out yet. Not even a ring, that it was spur of the moment- how she liked it. She finished wooing the reporters as Ryley sstarted tugging her inside. In response to his forward movements, Vi's body didn't match up with her mind's direction. Instead, she resorted to leaning in against him, holding on for dear life as they moved.
Just before they entered the building to find their seats, Vi glanced up at Ryley with a look she hadn't used in a really long time. A look that she knew only Ryley would understand, especially because it was from a time when they used to know every little detail about each other. It was a soft smile up at him, one that appeared to the naked eye to be a sweet gesture. However, between them it meant a lot more. Her eyes stared into his, silently pleading for him to help her through the night. She knew that they weren't close, but she knew he wouldn't just screw her over. Especially not in public.
Inside, Violet regretted taking the amount of drugs she had. However, she was also thankful for them at the time. She was forgetting just how uncomfortable he was around Ryley. In fact, she was forgetting just about everything, including where she was. All she knew was that she was with the man she once loved deeply. Soon enough, she could realize the familiarity of a movie theater chair cushioning her bottom. Leaning back, her arm that was around Ryley was no longer her safety net. She moved to grip the seat of the chair on one side, and the other hand reached for Ryley's arm. Just in case the high had any surprises.
He immediately returned the smile that she gave him in the same manner that he used to. It was one that he'd always reserved for her. It wasn't fake. It was filled with nothing but love for her. He would still do anything for her. Even after everything that they'd been through. Deep down, even though she'd treated him so horribly and it had skewed his perception of her, Ryley knew that he would always love her deep down..beneath all of the anger and hate that had built up since he'd ruined everything between them. Ryley kept Violet close to him, willingly helping her through the building.
It didn't seem to take them too long to reach their seats. Ryley helped Violet to her seat and then took his own only once he was certain that she was comfortable. Once in his seat, Ryley allowed himself to relax slightly. His back pressed gently into the back of the seat as he felt Vi placing a hand upon his arm. He allowed it, after all, they didn't need anyone seeing through their act. He placed his free hand upon her hand for a short moment, as if to let her know that everything would be fine.
Others began to file into the theater. Ryley had remained fairly quiet, speaking only when he was spoken to. Only once everyone was in their seats and a short speech from the director did the movie begin. The movie seemed to last a lifetime, or so it seemed to Ryley. The only things that he seemed to be able to focus on was the events that had happened that day. He was still worrying about how they were going to handle their new engagement. There was also the question as to what Violet had in her mint tins. He knew that he saw something when she'd dropped it earlier.
It was this thought in particular that was plaguing him. However, Ryley tried to remain cool and collected. There was no sense in showing anything but the happy man that he was playing. When the movie finally came to an end, Ryley had to admit that he was rather glad of it. He stood, helping Vi up as well. His gaze rested on her for a moment longer than it normally did before he turned and gently pulled her along with him. He knew that there would still be reporters outside and for once, he wanted nothing to do with them. "What are the chances that we can sneak away?" He whispered to Violet. He had a small smile on his face as he glanced at her.
He knew that it was impossible to get around them, but he just wanted to get home. It was getting late with every passing moment and he wanted to talk to her about the tin. They were stopped a short moment later, asked about the movie and what they thought of it. Ryley answered, giving the film nothing but praise even though he'd barely paid attention. He then allowed Violet to speak as she wished with the reporter. He watched her as she spoke, feeling sadness at what he'd caused them to lose. He knew that they would never get that back. Even if they did go through with the wedding, he was well aware that nothing would ever change. And it was no one's fault but his own.
She couldn't even begin to rest her mind on the thoughts of what had just happened not too long ago. Engaged. Shaking her head a little bit to the thought, Vi carefully used the time she had to walk around the car to slip two more mints and pills into her mouth.
The car ride home wasn't too long, however, it wasn't that short either. Vi spent the majority of her time in the ride staring out of the window, sitting as far away from Ryley as the car would comfortably allow. Upon their arrival home, as soon as Vi set foot in the house, her heels were off and she was reaching to unbutton her dress as she made her way over to the liquor cabinet. The car ride home was enough time for her to realize that there was most definitely a conversation to happen, the bottle of wine she tugged free from the cabinet is what was going to help her get through it.
Violet made her way upstairs, fully shedding the dress from her skin with some difficulty on the zippers. She tugged on a simple long t-shirt that was similar to a dress before tugging her hair free from the braid. She made her way into the living room and was already a few sips deep by the time she made herself comfortable on the couch. The word floated around in her head a few more times as she sat; Engaged. Engaged.
She couldn't help but to feel sick at the idea. How could she marry him, when she could barely tolerate a fake relationship with him? Violet took another sip of wine. As her high continued to climb, Violet tried to recall what her feelings for him were like before he had shattered them. She could remember when she used to imagine what it would be like to be without Ryley. At those times, she would feel her heart flutter with anxiety at the thought. She was always afraid of losing him- he was her rock.
However, now that was very different. The thought of loving him nearly made her queasy with disgust. When the event of him cheating was fresh, Vi would go back and forth between emotions of sheer hurt and hatred, and the feelings of wishing she hadn't caught him- that everything would go back to normal. Her reason for why she took to pills. Violet didn't want to feel any of it. She just wanted to get away, erase him and everything between them from her memory- leave him to the dust. But even the idea of leaving came with a nagging need to stay, a feeling she couldn't quite place... Probably because she had numbed herself so well.
Kicking back the bottle and chugging a decent amount of wine, Violet sat up and straightened her back. By now, Ryley was seated at the other couch perpendicular to hers. Somewhere in the depths of her thoughts, she had decided that she had might as well try to have a decent conversation, one where she would at least try to maintain some level of respect.
"Ry..." Violet started in a soft voice, her eyes landing on his. She hadn't called him by that name since before she had caught him. Violet used to call him by the nickname only when it was just the two of them sharing each other's company. She wasn't sure how she was going to start, knowing that she couldn't just tell him she didn't want to marry him. For some reason, Violet felt that she was still obligated to spare his feelings even thought he didn't do he same for her. At a loss for words, Violet simply looked at him with an expression of worry. Even though she was unbelievably high from the mixture of pills and booze, Violet still managed to remain composed. For the most part. She was sure Ryley could see through it- but she didn't care what he thought, he had no say in the matter.
He wasn't sure when it happened, but at some point Violet had passed him. She entered the house before him and as she took her shoes off Ryley found himself watching her. The woman moved further through their home and Ryley decided to immediately head up to his own room. He wanted to get out of his clothes. He was well aware that they needed to talk but honestly..he just didn't want to deal with it.
Once in his room, Ryley was quick to change out of his outfit and into a more simple one. He opted for a random t-shirt and a pair of shorts that he so often preferred to relax in. Only once he was dressed again did Ryley run a hand through his hair, the act releasing most of it from the style he'd had it in. He sighed softly before turning and heading slowly back down the stairs.
He knew what was coming. Ryley knew that there was something that he wanted to ask Violet about..what she took when they'd been in the car. There was also their sudden engagement to talk about as well. As he reached the main floor, Ryley didn't see the woman at first. However, it took him only a short moment to realize that she was sitting upon one of the couches. He joined her in the room, taking a seat away from her but so that he was still able to look at her if he wished it. A silence spread between them and Ryley decided not to interrupt it.
Instead, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and went to scrolling through the news feed. He wasn't surprised to see all of the current listings containing his and Violet's names. Their engagement was something that everyone seemed to have been waiting for. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about it all. If he really thought about it, he didn't quite want this to be happening..but it was. He'd had no choice but to announce their engagement. It had either been that..or admit that their relationship was falling apart. He knew that his family likely would hear the news soon and he knew that he would have to explain to them a reason as to why he'd not told them anything about their engagement. He dreaded it.
Suddenly, Vi's voice broke the silence, causing him to look up at her curiously. "Ry..." He simply eyed her for a short moment, taking her in. He could see the worry that was held in her gaze, though he could tell that something was going on beneath the facade that she was trying to hold in place. He suspected that he knew exactly what Vi wanted to talk about..however..he also needed to speak with her on something. He didn't quite know how she would react..and honestly he didn't care. He couldn't have her doing any sort of drug..it held the possibility of ruining the media's view of them.
"Vi..can I go first?" He suddenly asked her, his voice holding the tone he'd so often spoken to her in before they'd fallen apart. He waited for her to give her consent before he continued. "Do you think that I'm stupid? Blind?" He asked her. His gaze remained steady on her, his tone never changing. He doubted that she had a clue as to what he was even talking about. "What have you been taking? There's no point in denying it..I saw you take something in the car." Ryley finally allowed Violet to speak. He was holding his anger in check. He knew full well that he would likely loose his temper soon enough. He saw no reason for it before it was truly necessary. His gaze remained on the woman as he waited for her to speak.
"What have you been taking? There's no point in denying it..I saw you take something in the car." With a slight roll of her eyes, Vi disregarded his sudden intrusion on her drug usage and decided to change the subject. Shaking her head at him in response, Violet simply laughed a little at the stupidity of his words. "You seriously think that you have some sort of control over what I do and don't do?" Laughing a little harder out of anger, the redhead dropped her head back on the cushion to look up at the ceiling. There was a momentary pause full of soft laughter before she lifted her head and looked at him once again, her expression hard and full of anger.
"Seriously? This is the first thing you want to talk about is what I'm up to - what I'm taking, when the real problem here is that we have to spend the rest of our lives together?" She spoke through almost gritted teeth as she looked at him with a cold glare. Engaged. She couldn't help but to fill with mixed and dangerous emotions at the word. "This is all your fault! Everything! The fact that this engagement is a fucking joke - pathetic is what it is!" She added, leaning forward on the couch and refusing to take her eyes from him.
"It's your fault that we're stuck in this... this... awful fucking limbo! I can't be happy because of you!" She shouted at him, her limbs shaking gently at the rage that was started to flow through her bloodstream. Something in the back of her mind was pulling at her to stop, to cut it out before something came out that she didn't want. She knew she was being selfish, because she was at blame for their relationship's current state just as much as he was. However, Vi didn't care. At least not now, not while she was pumped up with the assistance of drugs and alcohol. The mixture causing a dangerous effect on her emotions. But something in her finally snapped, and she knew there was no turning back.
"Pills. I took pills. There! Are you fucking happy? Because that's all you're getting out of me. You don't deserve to know anything about me! My business is not your business. Not anymore. Not after you decided to make a fucking joke of our relationship. I don't need to feel what you did to me-" Violet's eyes widened as she clamped her mouth shut. She had at least given away half of the reason as to why she was taking pills. Hoping that he wouldn't put two and two together, she decided to continue her tirade in order to throw the conversation into a different direction.
Her mind rushed with trying to cover up the slip, that she couldn't figure out where to start. Instead her mind flooded with thoughts she had hated to bring up. How it was her own fault for taking pills, how she refused to show weakness and hurt for what he did. Deep down, she blamed herself for what he did. Although Violet was still unsure as to why she blamed herself, there was always something that came up that made her think it was her fault.
There. The idea hit her like an impending wave. "Why are we doing this?" She whispered, a small tear welling in her eye that she immediately tried to stamp away with rough blinking. She would not cry. Would not. She never cried when he cheated or when she caught him, instead she had immediately become stone cold towards him. Violet wouldn't let him see how she really felt. No. She wouldn't show weakness. Not after all of this time either.
A few short moments passed before Violet was looking at him again. He regarded her, easily reading her emotions as she continued speaking. "Seriously? This is the first thing you want to talk about is what I'm up to - what I'm taking, when the real problem here is that we have to spend the rest of our lives together? This is all your fault! Everything! The fact that this engagement is a fucking joke - pathetic is what it is! It's your fault that we're stuck in this... this... awful fucking limbo! I can't be happy because of you!" No matter how angry he wanted to be with her...he could not be. Everything she said was true. All of this was his fault. Regardless of why he'd cheated on her...the harsh truth was that he had...he'd broken her trust in him.
Ryley suddenly looked down towards his lap, refusing to look at the woman that sat across from him. It wasn't something that he did often and when he did..it was only because he was truly upset about something. He didn't even care that Violet would likely understand his sudden refusal to look at her. A moment later, Violet admitted to taking the pills. It didn't make him feel any better. The woman didn't give him time to barely take in what she'd said about the pills before she continued. "Why are we doing this?"
Still, Ryley refused to look at her. He thought over her question silently for a moment. The silence that suddenly filled the room was almost deafening. What could he possibly say? He'd only wanted to know what she was taking...and why. He should have known that they would end up yelling. This was, however, one of the few times that he'd not yelled back. He just...didn't have it in him right then. Ryley took a slow, deep breath before sighing. "I have no idea." He said, his voice fairly soft.
Deep down, Ryley still cared for Violet. Still loved her. Yet, he just couldn't bring himself to tell her that. Besides, he doubted that she would believe him. He suspected that in her eyes, he'd cheated because he'd lost feelings for her. That had not been the case at all. He'd only done it to help them both. It was in that moment that Ryley decided to say something that he really didn't want to. "If you're that unhappy..then leave. I would rather you have nothing to do with me than taking drugs just to be able to put up with me. The mere thought of marrying me is causing you distress..why stay? Don't you know me by now? I would not force you to do anything that you do not want to." It was then that Ryley stood, turning as if to leave her then. He was telling her to leave him. Yet, he'd spoken nothing but the truth to her. He wanted her to be happy. Though, he knew that he likely never would be. Not again. He'd ruined the best thing that he'd ever had.
Unable to really admit it, Violet missed Ryley and what they had. However, a nagging brother and subconscious said that what Ryley did was wrong and unforgivable; no matter the reason. Either way, it still meant that what they had was shattered. Convinced it was not fixable, Violet found solace in the numbing substances, the fuel for her hatred. Now, they were catching up to her and biting her in the ass.
"If you're that unhappy..then leave. I would rather you have nothing to do with me than taking drugs just to be able to put up with me. The mere thought of marrying me is causing you distress..why stay? Don't you know me by now? I would not force you to do anything that you do not want to." His words tugged at her heart, pulling tears from her eyes as she held her head. Violet, now angry at being upset gripped her hair in her hands as she inhaled a fairly audible choking breath of air. The thought of leaving him had crossed her mind countless times, but she never had the strength. Using her career as the excuse to stay, Violet knew that there was more to it than that. Rather, she still loved him. Deeply.
Vi heard him rise from the couch and move to leave, however, she continued to hold her head downward, hiding the fact that she too, was upset. "You think I took pills to put up with you?" It was then that she finally lifted her head and looked at him with a soft stare. Her voice was no longer a shout, no longer angry, but instead the complete opposite. A tone that must have been shocking to the ears. Hurt. Letting out a sigh with the shake of her head Violet frowned deeply.
Rising from the couch, Violet walked over towards the taller man. With only a few feet of space between them, Violet's eyes met him with a distant yet pained stare. "Why did you do it? Was I not good enough for you?" She asked after giving him some time to answer her first question.
Ryley couldn't say that he'd even liked the tone in which she'd spoken. He simply continued to watch her steadily for a short moment before he spoke. "Vi...what else am I supposed to think? We don't talk anymore..and I know that it's my fault..I'm not trying to say that it's not. But, I just..don't know what else you expect me to think."
Violet rose from the couch, walking towards him. Ryley simply watched her as she made her way closer to him. She stopped soon enough, only a short distance between them. "Why did you do it? Was I not good enough for you?" Those two questions were something that he didn't want to talk about. However, Ryley knew that she deserved to know why he did what he did. Ryley's expression suddenly changed, finally showing Violet just how much pain he'd felt at his actions.
She had every right to think that she'd not been enough for him..though that didn't make things any easier for him. He sighed softly before speaking. "You know...I tried to talk to you about this countless times." A sad, small smile found its way to his face for a short moment. "I didn't sleep with him because you weren't enough for me or because I loved you any less. We were still struggling, you know. Both of us. We couldn't seem to catch a break."
He paused for a short moment, allowing his words to wash over Violet. From the way she'd asked the question, Ryley suspected that Violet had honestly no clue why he'd cheated on her. "I know that it doesn't excuse what I did..and I deserve every bit of your anger and hatred..but I only slept with him so that I could get the part. It was stupid of me..I know..and I don't expect your forgiveness." He went silent then, his gaze regarding Violet as he waited for her reaction. He had no idea how she would take this news but Ryley was glad that she finally knew. He didn't expect her to have anything more to do with him..no more than she had since the incident happened. Yet..he felt..a bit better now that she knew his reason for cheating on her.
The news settled in her fast, however, it took her time to process. He had did it for them. But he didn't talk to her about it first. He just did it. She had no consent. Part of her imagined he could easily just as well be lying about why he did it. Yet for some reason, she wanted to believe every word. Even though it didn't change the fact that she was still the victim in the situation.
"I just don't get it, Ry. Why couldn't you talk to me about it? Why couldn't we find a way to succeed together? Is fame and fortune that much more important?" She asked in a soft voice, refusing to look at him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she swayed a little. A response definitely caused by the amount of wine she had flooded her stomach with. Violet ran a hand through her hair as she shook her head to her own words.
"It just doesn't add up... you... you were my world. Everything. I couldn't imagine a day without you. And the day you did that..." Turning around then, she made eye contact with the man she loved irrevocably. However, she could not admit that. At least not now or any time soon. [coor=forestgreen]"Everything I thought I knew changed after that. I felt so alone, betrayed, and lost... that's why I started the pills, Ry. I didn't want to feel what you did. I didn't want to feel weak, or sad, or hurt. I wanted it to go away. I wished I hadn't seen it, because then nothing would have changed."[/color] She admitted before letting her eyes fall from his.
Turning once again, she grabbed the wine bottle, finishing its contents and moving to the kitchen to rinse the bottle in the sink. It was also a good time to grab another pill. It hadn't been that long since she took the first two, but they weren't doing their trick. She figured Ryley wouldn't have followed her, and maybe she just needed a stronger dosage? Letting the water run, she moved over to her purse to pull the allotted container and its' contents free from her bag. Opening the container and scanning the bottom, she searched for the little friend that hid amongst the mints.
"I just don't get it, Ry. Why couldn't you talk to me about it? Why couldn't we find a way to succeed together? Is fame and fortune that much more important?" Violet spoke, refusing to look at him. "It just doesn't add up... you... you were my world. Everything. I couldn't imagine a day without you. And the day you did that..." It was then that the woman turned, her gaze finally finding his own. "Everything I thought I knew changed after that. I felt so alone, betrayed, and lost... that's why I started the pills, Ry. I didn't want to feel what you did. I didn't want to feel weak, or sad, or hurt. I wanted it to go away. I wished I hadn't seen it, because then nothing would have changed."
Violet allowed her gaze to leave his and for a moment Ryley remained silent, thinking over her words. As he did so, Violet moved into the kitchen and the next thing he knew, the sink was running. He remained rooted to the spot. He felt as if he shouldn't bother her. That he should just allow her to go. However, there was something pulling him to her. Ryley moved silently, taking his time in making his way to the kitchen. The sink was still running, something that he found odd.
Ryley looked around, his gaze quickly finding Violet. She was at her purse, clearly having dug through it for something. He moved, slowly making his way towards the woman that had not noticed him yet. As he got closer to her, he could see that Violet had something in her hand..he was just not certain what it was. However, it wasn't that hard to guess what it more than likely was. He moved quickly, his hands gently but firmly grabbing the woman. He turned her quickly and was soon pinning her to the counter that was now behind her. It had been a long time since he'd acted so with her. Since he'd cheated on her, he'd tried to give her space..to avoid her. Not now.
His gaze was searching hers, his eyes a mix of sadness and anger. "Vi! What the fuck are you doing? Did you honestly think that I wouldn't notice? I try to be honest with you and what do you do? Try taking your fucking pills? Just..stop. I can't stand seeing you like this. And it's all my fault..." His face had gotten a bit closer to hers though Ryley forced himself to stay from her..to not get any closer than he already was. His voice had faltered out..it was killing him knowing that it was his fault that she felt like she needed to take something..and he had no idea what to do to change it.
Slowly, her head lolled back enough to bare her neck from her hair. Unconsciously, she sucked in her lower lip and bit down on it. Although the sound of his voice was a mixture of hurt emotions, Violet found herself soaking in the care to his words. "Vi! What the fuck are you doing? Did you honestly think that I wouldn't notice? I try to be honest with you and what do you do? Try taking your fucking pills? Just..stop. I can't stand seeing you like this. And it's all my fault..."
His face moved closer, and Violet's head fell forward a bit to meet his gaze. There was a long pause between his words and hers. A small whisper left her lips as her stare softened. "I'm sorry," Violet started, licking her lips as her eyes wandered to his mouth. "Did you honestly think that I wouldn't notice?" She echoed his words, however turned them around to ask him if he thought she wouldn't notice him cheating. It was a low blow, and definitely a response from the side of her that was used to remarks of the sort. However, her body and her expression were on a whole different level of interest.
She moved her hands enough to test his grip on her wrists as her face moved a bit closer to his. Tilting her jaw up as she pulled her body closer to his, her mind focused on his hands holding her against the counter. She couldn't remember the last time they were rough with each other, but she was more than thrilled that it was happening again. A feeling she made sure not to show. Moving her hips forward to meet his, Violet attempted to free her wrists to no avail, however she wasn't going to admit she enjoyed the lack of freedom for once.
Finally breaking their stare, her forehead lowered to rest against his chin as she attempted to control herself. Even his smell was more intoxicating than the alcohol that swirled around in her blood stream. Moving her head just a bit more so that her temple rested against his cheek, the feeling of his breath on her ear had her shivering in response to the mixtures of warm and cool air.
Unable to tolerate the feeling of his presence so close to her, Violet moved her head forward just enough to bite onto the lobe of his ear and tug hard enough to pull him closer with her mouth. Once she was satisfied with his closeness, Violet let go. It was then that she used as much force as she had, along with leverage from the counter, to shove him backwards against the refrigerator. Pinning him there with just the usage of her body weight, she moved up onto the tips of her toes to move her face closer to his. Her hands found their way to his shoulders, fingernails digging into the skin as she stared at him.
Ryley wasn't sure why Violet wasn't trying to push him away. It didn't make sense to him. It was as she moved her hips to meet his own that Ryley had to force himself to remain quiet, collected. Still, he refused to allow her to go. Ryley watched as Violet broke their stare so that she could move. He decided to allow things to play out as they were meant to...or rather...as much as Vi would allow it. A few moments passed and Violet's temple was soon resting against his cheek. Ryley was trying hard to remain in control. However, it had been what seemed like forever since they'd been so close.
As he was distracted, Violet shifted slightly and had taken hold of his earlobe, tugging so that he had to move closer to her. She released him once she was satisfied and then suddenly had him pinned against the refrigerator. It happened so quickly that it took Ryley a second to register what she'd just done. He was certain that shock was on his face though he was quick to cover it back up. Their faces were close once again, Vi had her fingers digging into his skin as she stared at him. He had two options, as far as he could tell. Each one held different consequences.
Normally, he would try to be logical and see which would be the best. However, he found himself wanting nothing more than to close the distance between them. He moved slightly, as if testing her..trying to see if she would back away. He felt like he was almost giving her the chance to leave if she wanted. "Why are you torturing me?" He whispered to her. He allowed her a moment to take in his words before he finally gave up on holding back from her. He was quick to close the distance between them, roughly crashing his lips to her own.
Ryley finally released her wrists, one hand finding its way to the back of her neck and the other one resting upon her waist. It felt..right..to be acting so with her once again..even if it would only last for a moment. He fully expected Violet to move from his at any moment and at that point, he would allow it. Yet, he would enjoy the feel of the woman that he'd loved for so long for as long as she allowed it.
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Ryley Kinser
"I'm amazing. Simple as that."
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"Just shut up and make it look good."
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Ryley Kinser
"I'm amazing. Simple as that."
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"Just shut up and make it look good."
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Violet Emory Nevarez
"Just shut up and make it look good."
Ryley Kinser
"I'm amazing. Simple as that."
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Second Time Around
by Diane_Young on Wed Apr 08, 2015 9:50 pm
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