"Torn between two homelands, one of which I've never been to, I feel like a ghost grown foreign sometimes."
【 Five Hundred Miles 】
【 Dialogue: #457371 】
【 Face Claim: Adrianne Ho 】
you will know that I have gone
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Delilah Tsang Keok-hing | 曾菊螢 | céng júyíng
delicate/languishing - state of Zeng - chrysanthemum - firefly
NICKNAMES
Lilah - this is what everyone calls her
Mei - her family calls her this, on account of her being the younger sister of her family
AGE
28
GENDER
cis female
ORIENTATION
pansexual
ETHNICITY
Chinese / Taiwanese / French / English
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I'm five hundred miles away from home
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Lord, I can't go back home this a-way
◇ POISED ◇ HEADSTRONG ◇ DISTRUSTING ◇ GREGARIOUS ◇ SINCERE ◇
For a person as active as she is, Lilah is remarkably put together, scarcely a hair out of place as she does enough physical activity to constitute a full workout a day and hauls equipment her body weight around. Perhaps due to the fact that she's made the wildness of her appearance part of herself, a physical indicator of her barely-restrained personality, that a neat and demure Lilah is probably a sign of something very wrong. Still, her good posture and intense gaze lend her a certain imposing grace, the best combination of her parents' genes.
Having learned to be independent early on, Lilah's grown accustomed to making her own decisions. She puts little time towards considering other opinions, preferring instead to act quickly based on her own thoughts and past experiences. Though able to analyse the situation and take appropriate action even under pressure, her decisions are usually based on her choices alone, remaining unswayed and unsullied by what anyone else has to say. Unless coming from someone very important to her, Lilah's strong will can rarely be moved by attempted persuasion.
Call it cynicism, call it pessimism borne of her circumstances growing up. Whatever it is, Lilah doesn't take to trusting people lightly, and is likely to believe the worst of people until proven otherwise. It takes a good deal of interaction (and sometimes making the right choices under pressure) to cement her trust, and even more to gain her loyalty. She's not one to jump to conclusions, but she might as well be keeping a mental checklist for each person she has to work with, she watches and judges people so closely.
Still, she greatly enjoys the company of others in social settings, gravitating towards large groups at any company event. She has a talent for joining conversations easily, and is extraordinarily good at telling captivating stories. A difficult trait to reconcile with her general distrust of people, seeing as her lack of a personal life means that most of her socialising is done within work contexts, but she manages by limiting her loyalty to those she has to work closely with. Anyone else, however exciting, is on this side of expendable.
Lilah might not trust others to be sincere, but she holds herself to different standards. With a strong moral code, she strives to avoid becoming untrustworthy herself, remaining honest and accountable for her own actions. Her father's emphasis on being a morally upright person when she was growing up created an almost pathological need to examine her words and actions carefully so as to ensure that she doesn't resort to excuses or lies—all in the hopes that when she finally reunites with her father in heaven she can look him in the eye and know that he is proud of her.
some day soon, the tide will turn, and I'll be free
◇ photography: one of those rare people who genuinely love their line of work, Lilah is into photographing nature and urban landscapes, though she used to be a sports model herself.
◇ autumn: if she has to haul her equipment around, she'd rather do it in cool weather.
◇ swimming: even when the water is cold—especially when the water is cold.
◇ theme parks: she especially loves the thrill rides.
◇ spicy food: good thing she's half Chinese, then—and not that shit that Americans think is spicy
◇ makeup: funny when she used to be a model, but she's never quite liked the feeling of it; plus she might sweat it off.
◇ alcohol: there are better substances to fill her body, like caffeine.
◇ puking: she's got a sympathetic response, it makes her want to retch too.
◇ being sick: the hot flashes, sore throat, muscle ache—and not to mention that usually she's only got herself to rely on.
◇ camo print: the sports companies keep trying to bring it back, and every time it just looks worse than ever.
◇ finger snapping: partially her impatience to get work done quickly, partially her need to always be on the move.
◇ pointing: anything that vaguely resembles a pointer makes its way into her hands, it automatically becomes an extension of her arm to indicate whatever she's talking about.
◇ running hands through hair: a bad habit; she works to avoid doing this but forgets sometimes.
◇ lucky charm: she carries a little lucky coin in her pocket, and when she needs to calm down she rubs the edges with her thumb.
◇ counting: steps, tiles, red cars—anything to distract her for a little while.
◇ social intelligence: good at reading crowds and fitting in socially.
◇ leadership: she can devise a plan of action and direct others to carry it out calmly and quickly.
◇ gratitude: she never takes things for granted, and makes certain that those who deserve her gratitude get it.
◇ critical: she settles for very little below perfection, and is quick to point out flaws (though she does try to offer suggestions for improvement).
◇ practicality: very little frivolity gets past her.
◇ skeptical: she'll doubt, question, and disagree until all uncertainties are cleared away.
you can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles
Born to two immigrants who moved to Renard Park separately from two different countries—one Taiwan and one France—as second child, Lilah always had bigger shoes to fill. Susanne Tsang, older by four years, was always smarter, prettier, better in every way, and growing up in her shadow had Lilah shrinking back to allow her sister the spotlight.
While his wife tended to focus on what she considered her successes, spending her time and effort guiding Susanne towards what she considered to be paths to a better career (and therefore life), Tsang Che-hsien became the rock that his younger daughter needed. His philosophy "do no harm but take no shit", coupled with his unconditional love and support even through mistakes, helped to build Lilah into the independent person she is today. Anaïs, on the other hand, found herself bewildered by Lilah's lack of warmth and her singular focus on accomplishing work, so foreign from Susanne's usual easygoing brilliance, and thus was never really as close to Lilah as she could have been.
It was no success story, but it would do. Lilah grew up counting her worth by the work she did well. When the going got tough, she'd turn to her father for a few wise words, which always rekindled her promise to do her best to him. Susanne was bright and accomplished, gaining the things she wanted easily, but Lilah took pride in her own effort, and they got by just fine.
They couldn't have predicted the cancer. Stomach cancer is notoriously difficult to diagnose, and in its initial stages only seemed like gastric problems, nothing Che-hsien couldn't have solved without a handful of antacids. When Lilah finally got suspicious enough about her father's complaints and insisted he went to the doctor, it was too late. The cells had spread through his blood vessels, metastasising to his liver and kidneys, and the doctors weren't optimistic.
Oh, they tried. Both Lilah and Susanne were fairly successful in their lines of work (a sports model, and home designer respectively), and they could cover the treatment they thought would help their father. Yet in the end it was clear—all they could do, really, was to help him be comfortable while he lived out his last days. They took him home, and Lilah moved back in with her parents, tending to her father every minute she could spare. In wanting to document her last memories of her father, she began a rudimentary yet heartfelt photo project, discovering her preference for being behind the camera instead of before it.
The photos lasted forever—Che-hsien did not. After three years of deteriorating health and failed treatment and another year of keeping him alive on machines alone, he made the decision to let go. All treatment was stopped, and his heart was allowed to give out. His family held his hand through the process, and Lilah never let him see her cry. Determined to do her best, that he could be proud of her when they reunited in Heaven, she threw herself into her work, becoming even more independent then before. After her contracts with the modelling companies expired, she left the industry to enter photojournalism, hopping from independent magazine to online site, eventually ending up working for the Fox Times, stable though fairly unfulfilling... at this point.
Today, Lilah remains involved with her family, living a few streets away from her mother so she can drop in every other weekend. Her sister, a highly-demanded home decorator, travels from state to state tending to clients, sometimes even out of the country, so taking care of their mother falls to Lilah. Though her mother still finds her foreign sometimes, they get along well, with Lilah determined to treasure her remaining family.
◇ father || Tsang Che-hsien (曾哲賢) || deceased
◇ mother || Anaïs Clare Reier || 59 || alive
◇ older sister || Susanne Tsang Ian-hing (曾燕螢) || 32 || alive
inspired by The_Queen , ઽ૮૨Α
filled by barnes
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