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The Multiverse » Arcs » Whimsiland

The adventures of...Well...Er...

As written by: lostamongtrees, HitoriRaven, Konstantein


37 pieces and 3 characters involved, written by 3 different authors.

2 places involved




So begins...

Whimsiland


Valhalla ValleySetting: Valhalla Valley


"Mrak,"

The head of a chicken poked around a tree, stabbing at the ground with it's beak. Every now and again, the head would disappear, only to reappear with one eye aimed at the sky.
And through the valley walked a young man, perhaps barely more than a teenager. He had no idea why he was there or what he was doing, so the only thing left was to enjoy the beauty around him. Fuck that.

"What the hell."
The tail of a cat, a white cat to be specific, popped out from behind a tree. It looked quite enticing, wagging slowly in the air, as if begging to be pulled. Left, right, the tail swiveled, back legs of the animal scratching at the moss laden ground every now and again.

Strangely enough, clucks were also coming from the other side of the tree. What was going on over there? Was the cat trying to kill a... a chicken? It was quite the curious scene, only half able to be observed.
Nearby, a male, barely older than a teenager wandered through the trees. He had no idea what he was doing or why he was doing it, even, so he supposed that all that was left was to enjoy the beauty of nature. Yeah, fuck that.

"Where the fuck am I?" he pondered out loud. However, during the slow walk that the man adopted, he heard something before he saw it. That is to say, the clucking-purring tree with a tail and legs. "And what the fuck are you?" he asked it, kicking a rock towards said tree.
A rock scuttled in the direction of the cat chicken tree, only to catch the immediate attention of the creature. The tail stiffened, hair standing on end, and with a squack it disappeared around the tree.

For one moment, it would appear the cat disappeared, run off somewhere from it's prey. The chicken poked it's head around the other side, staking a beady eye on the young man.

"Squok! Skack doodla bag!" Was it trying to speak? From it's beak erupted the most vulgar of sounds, followed by a steady glare. With a head bobble, the chicken moved forward, placing one paw on the ground after the other.

Paw? It would appear the cat didn't run off at all. It was, instead, attached to the head of the chicken. Here came the small beast, head of a chicken body of a cat, tail in the air and beak clicking. It padded over the mossy ground toward the young man, flipping it's head from left to right to focus on him with either eye.

"Sgoo! Squabladoo! Snee snee shrok!"
"Yeah, you stupid tree cat chicken thing, fuck off," the man said, sounding both confused and aggressive. He began to walk past the tree-creature, thinking the matter done.

However, the strange cat-chicken combination caught his attention. Indeed, the tree-cat-chicken wasn't a tree-cat-chicken at all! It was just some kind of cat-chicken. "Wait, what the fuck? That doesn't make in the sense either!"

Rylen began to slowly walk towards the thing slowly, taking care not to slip or make any sudden movements. "What are you saying? C'mere, you." He began to reach out for the cat-chicken. "What the fuck are you?"
"Bagok! Goobla hay sna foodle bat. Reeee!" The chicken cat did not seem amused by the reaching, and in a flurry of fur and feathers scuttled five feet out of the way. Standing there, glaring vehemently at the young man, it continued it's almost speech tirade.

"Snoo, sobble ee, sa foh! Junalak, junalak," Then angrier than ever, "Puponyu!" Stamping it's paws, it demanded the attention of the young man. Or was it scolding him? Either way, it was enticing him to do...something.
The man simply blinked for a second, then irritatedly said, "English, motherfucker, do you speak it? I mean, I guess not cause you're a chicken-cat things, but hell, make sense, damn thing." He managed to return the glare that it was giving him.

"Puponyu? What the hell are you saying?" Getting almost as enraged - or perhaps annoyed - as the creature, he stomped his foot. "What do you want from me?"
The creature glared back with fire in it's eyes,

"Folal," Then with a huff turned on the man. With it's tail in the air, it took four haughty steps in that little head bobbling cat walk of it's, then stopped. Turning it's head a complete one eighty degrees, it pointed it's beak directly at the man, and spoke again.

"Folaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!"
For whatever reason, the man chose to follow the creature with small steps, trying to pierce its head with his gaze as he did so. "Where the hell are you going? What the fuck are you saying?" he repeated, as if it was dull.

"Fucking mutant animals."
"Fakeng Mootat Amamas!"
Was it imitating him? It trotted a few steps ahead again, waggling that tail in the ever so enticing way it did.

"Fakeng Mootat Amamas! Faaaaaakeng Mootat Amamas! Fakeng Moooooooootat Amaaaaaaaamas! Fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak fak" It seemed to like this new word, saying it every time a paw touched the ground.

Off it fak'd, every now and then screeching over it's shoulder to make sure the young man was following.
"Did you..just..make more sense than you did five seconds ago?" he asked rhetorically. "Damn. I must be high or going crazy, if cat-chickens are beginning to talk."

"As long as I'm tripping, I guess." Sighing, the man began to speed up to keep up with it, rolling his eyes whenever it turned around.
"Fak Fak Fak Fak Fak Fak!" The creature worked his way up the valley, heading east towards the rising cliff. With a determined look, the chicken cat hybrid took a solid leap. Landing eye level on a protruding rock, he flicked his gaze towards the young man.

"Uk!" Then looked up towards the high cliff. It appeared he wanted the man to follow him up the cliff.
Everything was going swimmingly. Well, as swimmingly as things could go for a man who was believed he was probably high on some drug, following some not-tree-cat-chicken somewhere. Swimmingly indeed. That is, until said cat-chicken hopped off a cliff.

That was too far. "You seriously expect me to jump off a cliff? If that isn't peer pressure, I don't know what is," he muttered. "And I bet the peers weren't some weird-ass creature. Whatever. I'm dreaming or high anyway, so this won't hurt."

He jumped.
"SPARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The chicken cat jumped, immediately following the young man. Flailing with furry limbs, he screamed, from his beak shooting a dazzling rainbow. The rainbow, sparkling with sunbeams and dewdrops, flowed evenly beneath them. It stretched as far as the eye could see, a glittering mass that they were surely about to collide with.

In a multicolored puff, the chicken cat disappeared into the rainbow, having had fallen directly into it.
"Double Nyan-cat-chicken, all the way, across the sky. Dude, it's so amazing."

Nothing made sense. The man disappeared into the rainbow as well. He could almost taste it.

Solinus Sea CoastlineSetting: Solinus Sea Coastline


"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" SPLOOSH!

Into the waters the chicken cat landed, frantically wading as if it wasn't pleased at all. In the distance, but not so far as if it couldn't be reached, a white sanded beach stretched. The cerulean waves were calm today, and as the chicken cat waded towards the sand bar he would notice the fish.

There were thousands of them, in all different shapes colors and sizes. It was as if the rainbow they had just fallen through had come alive in the form of fish. Distracted, the chicken cat began to paw at the fish.
Following soon after, the man landed with a huge splash, spraying water everywhere. "I can't swim help oh god I'm gonna dro--blub blub blub--" He stood on the sand under the water. "Oh, wait. It's, uh...not that deep. Heh. Heh." Partially wading, partially waving his arms for no particular reason, he followed the chicken-cat towards the beach.

As it paused, being distracted by the fish, he splashed water at while passing by. "Stupid thing, trying to drown me." He quickly made his way closer to the nearby 'land.' Of course, pretty fish were all well and good, and they probably would let him taste the rainbow, but not getting all pruny was nice too.
Fish fish fish fish- "NEEK!" What was that for?

With a glare, the chicken cat waded after the young man, paddling through the water towards the beach. Eventually, the chicken cat would get there. A problem immediately arose, he could feel the ocean pulling him into the beach.

Into that big flurrying crash of water.

With a yelp, he did his best to keep his head above water and rode the swell into the beach. Scrambling to find footing as the surf washed him up, the chicken cat pawed at the malleable sand. Once he had it, he slowly pulled himself to a rise.

Violently shaking, fur and feathers standing on edge, the chicken cat did his best to rid his body of the awful moisture. It wasn't so bad when he was in the water, but now out of it...Yeagh. Flecks of water sprayed everywhere.
With his back turned, the man failed to catch the wave sneaking up on him. He found himself covered by water then ungratefully dumped headfirst into the beach. As he scrambled up, spitting both water and sand, he sputtered, "I'm drowning again," puh, "Help --oh wait. I'm here."

He looked around embarrassedly, before casually dusting himself off. Of course, wet sand didn't exactly come off like that, but it was the thought that counted. However, before he could say or yell anything at the chicken-cat, he was sprayed with more water.

With an angry glare, he then kicked sand towards the creature. "Dammit, go shake off somewhere else. Hell, what did you bring me here for? Where the fuck are we?" he asked, looking around.
"Bagak!" The chicken cat did it's best to dodge, the sand, catting to the side and shooting the young man another glare.

"Kee. Eye kee," It said matter-of-fact-ly, as only a chicken cat could, before walking a bit down the beach. With a flick of it's tail, the chicken cat beckoned the young man to follow.
"Whatever." The man sighed again, not even trying to decipher the chicken-cat's 'words.' He simply followed, since he didn't know where he was, but it obviously did. For no reason, he grabbed a handful of sand and stuck it in his pocket. If nothing else, it'd remind him that he didn't just take a weird-ass drug trip.
A man trudged across the beach, not exactly knowing where he was going in the first place. The chicken-cat that had led him through the rainbow seemed to have disappeared. As such, he was completely lost, simply wandering the area in hopes of finding shelter and food. Or waiting for the acid trip to end.

In a fit of rage, he kicked up sand. "I've got sand where sand has no right to be. Fucking chicken-cat, where did you go?"
On the beach lay a big fat teddy bear wearing a brown shirt. The writing on the shirt was illegible due to how fat the bear was and the words couldn't be seen at the same time. The bear was wearing sunglasses, and flip-flops also.

He didn't move, and it just sort of looked like someone had left their poor bear out along the shore.
"What the fuck? Why is there a fully dressed bear in middle of nowhere wearing cl-- you know what? Fuck it. It makes more sense than everything so far." The man approached said teddy bear, nudging it with his foot.

"Hey, you. I wouldn't be surprised if you could talk or some shit."
The bear reached up and pulled his sunglasses down, "Who the fuck are you? I don't remember inviting you to the tea-party. Did the chicken-cat bring you here?" He asked, standing up. The bear was about to the boy's stomach in height.

"Here, follow me. Or don't, I don't care too much." He said, waddling off towards the distant windmill.
"I fucking knew it," he muttered under his breath. With lagging strides, the man followed the bear, grimacing all the way. "Yeah, the fucking chicken-cat brought me here. Is there a duck-dog too or am I missing something?"

"And where the fuck are we going?"
The bear raised an eyebrow, "A duck-dog? that would be ridiculous." He chuckled, waddling up to a small gate that wasn't attached to a wall. It just floated there. He opened it, and moved to let the boy pass through behind him.

"Just this way, through the coffee swamp." He said, the trees becoming denser and a few animals jumping around in the distance. "Don't worry, Freddy, we're going to The Windmill of Fate."
"Of course it would. Duck-dog? Preposterous. Now a chicken-cat, that makes so much sense," he commented, sarcasm dripping from his words. However, that didn't stop him from slipping through the strange gate, with only a confused glance back.

"Coffee swamp? Tha...erm...doesn't sound too bad? I like coffee." The man blinked as he took in his surroundings. "My name-- actually you probably don't care. Lead the way, Pooh."
"Exactly, that's why we don't have one." He chuckled, standing lightly on top of the coffee swamp. For some reason the bear didn't sink in the chest deep waters. They weren't scalding hot, but they were very warm and occasionally a black tentacle or fin could be seen darting along the top of the water.

The coffee tasted like bitter moose crap. Don't ask me how I know what bitter moose crap tastes like, I'm jsut guessing here.
"Yeah, on second thought I don't want that coffee. Let's get across to wherever we're going." A thought struck him as he looked over the swamp. "How ARE we getting across? I'm not wading through that shit. What, is there a boat somewhere?" The man scratched his head and he doubled over the swap, searching for a manner to get across.

If it tasted like bitter moose crap, it smelled like it tasted.
The bear placed a hand on his forehead, "Look kid, just walk through the damn coffee. It doesn't bite." He said, sticking his finger in it. He put it in his mouth, and he made a gagging noise. "Okay, just don't drink it and you'll be fine." He said, placing his bear-hands on his hips.

A small hollowed out tree trunk was laying in the shore and inside of it was what seemed to be a dead dog or cat or something.
"Yeah, maybe the coffee doesn't, but there's shit in there. I saw it, don't think I didn't." The man sighed, then took deep breaths, before lifting his foot above the swamps. "Good thing these clothes are already wrecked. You better be right about this, Pooh."

He stepped into the swamp. It still stank.
The bear groaned, "Uh, just cry about it Kyle." He waddled along the top of the coffee, and led Rylen through what would feel like what used to be a cobblestone path. "So, Marty, how'd the chicken-cat get you out here?" He asked, walking backwards a little.

A set of nineteen eyes watched the two walk from the shade of the trees. It slowly sank back down and resurfaced several feet further away. "Don't you see, Garry, they're more afraid of you than you are of them." He chuckled.
"I'll cry anyway because this shit smells so bad. Besides, it's all easy for you to say; you're chilling on top of everything." The stone was a small comfort to the man, but not much. He still couldn't see into the murk, after all. "It annoyed me. Then we jumped off a cliff and fell into a rainbow."

"Of course, I'm sure that all makes sense here." He eyed the trees suspiciously. "Are you sure they aren't going to be so scared that they try to kill me?"
The bear paused, "Ya'know, I've never thought of it that way. I guess them killing you is a possibility." He chuckled. He then turned to the boy, Oh, Ian, I totally forgot, my name is Carl. You may address me as such." He said, holding out a little paw.

The animal int he distance slowly drifted away into the shadows.
Despite the weirdness of the situation, the man didn't forget his manners. "Hi, Carl. I'm Rylen, though to be honest I'm expecting you to forget my name again." He took the bear's paw, shaking it slightly.

"Now that that's over, let's move. I want to be out of this stuff as fast as possible."