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The phone

RING RING MOTHER FUCKER, IT'S A PHONE!

0 · 57 views · located in The Infinite Void

a character in “The Multiverse”, originally authored by ColeMaibara, as played by RolePlayGateway

Description

It's a phone

So begins...

The phone's Story

Setting

Characters Present

Character Portrait: The phone

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Suddenly, without warning, there was a phone on a table in Gambit's bar. It was stationary for a minute, the black old phone just sitting there before suddenly: RING RING! It repeated itself. RING RING Nobody answering? RING RING MOTHER FUCKER, I'M A PHONE, I mean...RING! It seemed this phone had quite the...temper tantrum. Maybe somebody to answer it to shut it up?

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Characters Present

Character Portrait: The phone

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Talking finally, Liam Neeson's voice spoke up. "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you." Instantly, the person hung up. Well, how nice of him.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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rang again now, the handle shaking as it rang. RING RING, YOU'VE GOT SEVEN CALLERS AHEAD OF YA YOU ASSHOLE, SO PICK UP! with that, it kept ringing and ringing until somebody answered it. What could it be? Who could possibly be calling from this phone? Was it haunted? The only thing people could tell was it liked being an asshole.

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Characters Present

Character Portrait: The phone

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Talking again, it would say to Shirko now, in a hoarse voice. "This is officer Joe Fuckin' Schmo and we have been getting calls from your neighbor that there is a young man dressed in their underwear standing on your front lawn yelling cultic chants. we also have reports that they are waving a flag up in the air. could you please look out your front window to confirm this for us?" With that, the call was put on hold so he could look and answer him.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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When Simon spoke up, it'd now talk to him. "Hello, is the man of the house on the line? This is an important call from the Terran Department of Sexually Transmitted Diseases. We have a few questions for you if you wouldn't mind answering us. We promise we won't take long at all. Trust us, AT ALL!" The voice was stern and strong, sounding like some soldier or something similar.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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Instantly, the phone hung up. SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER! Suddenly someone called, and without letting him hang up or answer, it was put on speaker phone, reciting the "internet tough guy" quote just to bug the hell out of people. "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."

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Character Portrait: The phone

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As Simon stabbed the phone, it began breaking slowly, falling to pieces and crumbling. "Oh NO! They're eating her! And then they're gonna eat me...oh my Goooooooo-!" Suddenly, something was stabbed, probably volume control, as it was now on full blast, which would be pretty deafening. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" After it finished, the phone broke apart, now completely destroyed. It burned into ashes and died, a gravestone appearing on the ground saying "RIP Phone"

After two minutes, the phone came out from the "grave", yowling. I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!

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Characters Present

Character Portrait: The phone

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As the phone was thrown towards Shiroko and Zelanui, it was screaming still. Yippie kiyae mother fuckers!. As it landed on the table next to them, it surprisingly didn't need to plug in. Once it was caught, if Shiriko held onto it long enough, he'd feel a non-painful, but able to feel a shock. It wasn't paralyzing or anything. It was just there. As it was flung at Simon, it decided it didn't want to be near that little bitch, using the cord on it's ass and attempting to wrap around Shiroko. LET'S DANCE, BITCH!

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Character Portrait: The phone

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As the man tried to stab it, it suddenly...dodged?! What the hell?! How do you like me now? Having fun?! Using the cord once more, it charged electricity into it, attempting to smack him with the electrified plug. As it did this, the most happy-go-lucky elevator music coming out of it. What the fuck is with this phone?!

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Character Portrait: The phone

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It would be kicked across the room, hitting the wall before something began shooting out from it's plug, a rocket sending it flying towards Shiroko with the speed of the bullet. How do you like me now, bitch! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?! As it flung at him, it realized the 500 bet, laughing noises coming from the phone. White haired lady is a smart lady!

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Character Portrait: The phone

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When Shiriko spoke up, UP CAME THE PHONE, out from the darkness! I'M BACK BITCHES! Once it came back, it'd attempt to quickly whip him with it's cord. Die fucka, die!. This phone wasn't possessed by a demon. It was possessed by itself, and therefore, it is being controlled by it's own mind. INCEPTION.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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When all three blades hit the phone, out came buzzing for a few seconds, frozen in the air, the shuriken falling out of the phone, it continuing it's attack towards Shiroko. It began quoting random movie quotes now. "I love my dead gay son-...Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.-- GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!" With that, it began using the electricity from the bar's lights, including the poor, Philosophical Lampshade's energy.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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The phone dies. Fatality. As it fell to the ground, a booming voice began speaking. Flawless Vic--- before it finished, the phone began standing on it's one cord. Faked ya out bitch. I'm feeling....goooood! As it said this, a man in purple appeared out of nowhere, the iconic "Whoopsie!" from Mortal Kombat being sounded. Was this phone able to control that around it? Or was this just the normal nature of Gambit's?....It seems the normal happening in Gambit's.

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Characters Present

Character Portrait: The phone

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Suddenly, after all the random ruckus had been going on, the phone began shaking, ringing now. RING RING, PEOPLE! THERE'S SOMEBODY CALLING! It'd continue ringing and ringing until somebody would answer. The phone was in a fight last time it was here..let's hope nobody riled it up to that point this time. I mean, it was very temper-mental with people...

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Character Portrait: The phone

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Once the phone was answered, a girl's voice spoke up to End, the infamous song that had been on the radio forever began speaking. Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me, maybe? It's hard to look right, At you baby, But here's my number, So call me, maybe?" It would be on repeat, so if the man felt like sitting there and listening, he was more than welcome to. Suddenly, though, a piece of paper came out from a nook within the phone, a piece of paper with writing on it. It was morse code. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -.-- --- ..- If he read morse code, he'd know fully well what it was telling him...such a nice phone.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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The phone had been inside the bar for quite some time now, despite being out in the corner of the bar, minding her own business, her own fairy maids surrounding her, serving her the tea that was mixed with human blood so it'd be digestible for her, as well as the cake that had human baked in it. It came from her own mansion, so it's not like these were recently killed patients of the bar, but rather, prisoners and criminals who had been killed/drained for her sake. It seemed that the bar was lively today. What sort of chaos would happen this time?

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Characters Present

Character Portrait: The phone

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Gambit's was silent for a period of time. The bar was silent. Whether it was because of the fucker of a penguin, or it was because Gambit's liked being quiet, but as soon as the phone hung up, another, more obnoxious phone began ringing. "RING RING, FUCKERS, IT'S A PHONE, AND YOU'VE GOT 10 CALLERS AHEAD OF YA! I mean...uh...RING RING!" As it did this, the phone shook in it's stand. This thing liked messing around. Who knows what tricks it had up it's sleeves today?

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Characters Present

Character Portrait: The phone

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As the phone was answered, the typical elevator waiting music played before a voice spoke out..but was it English? No, it wasn't English. It was in pure gibberish. At the end of the fast paced speaking, it'd say "Would you like to buy Gambit's bar? It's free. We're giving it to you for a total of $0! That's right! $0.00 (minus shipping and handling.) So, lucky winner, are you up to buying Gambit's and having it shipped to your backyard?" Was this serious? Who knows. Could this phone move Gambit's to somebody's backyard? And if it could, does that mean it could technically move the entire bar wherever it wanted?!? Who knew.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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The man on the phone took the time to translate, before speaking loudly. "THEN IT'S A DONE DEAL!" After he said this, he hung up. Then, attempting to raid the Penguin's mind, some ungodly force would try insert a certain video into the penguin's mind, hopefully on repeat. The thing wanted this penguin to feel odd. It wanted him to feel like his mind was violated. And hopefully, this video, if it was forced into the poor penguin's mind, would have to suffer this terrible yet adorable mind fuck.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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After the Penguin hit the ground, and presumably, the phone being dropped from it's flipper, a very distinct voice, the actual phone's voice speaking. "America! Fuck yeah!" After it said this, it'd hang up, the phone magically putting itself together, then making it's obnoxious ring to see who'd be toruted this time? Who'd feel the wrath..OF PHONE? But there was one question..

WHO WAS PHONE?!

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Character Portrait: The phone

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There would be a familiar ring in the bar. The sound of a phone going off, it's black handle shaking in the rack, the sound of the Phone's ungodly voice echoing. "RING RING, PEOPLE! IT'S THE PHONE!" Once it did this, it'd continue it's routine of being an annoying object in the bar, only meant to bring chaos and frustration.

As it rang, it spoke up, noticing it wasn't being picked up by anybody. "RING RING! THE FUCKING PHONE IS RIIIIINGING! Pick it up. BEFORE I DISEMBOWEL YOU ALL." With that, it fell silent, waiting to be picked up.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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A ringing came from the darkest corner of the bar, the annoying sound of the Penguin's rival speaking up. "Ring ring, fuckers. It's your almighty and glorious phone! Come get me!" Upon saying this, it'd continue ringing, and ringing, and ringing, a daunting laugh coming from it as it remembered it's victim Penguin.

Who would pick up the phone? Would the penguin have revenge on him?

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Character Portrait: The phone

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Looking around as it was trapped, the Phone cackled slightly. "This is hilarious, yaknow." Saying this, the phone began shaking, a purple and green light forming around the Phone. "Now I will show you, my TRUE FORM!" after saying this, it would raise into the air, a glass like shell breaking, and the regular old phone coming down and landing back on it's stand. "Tada, I'm in my true form! Tell me, does this factory setting make my butt look big?"

It chuckled again. What was this phone planning? Wait..could a phone even plan? Well, now it can.

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Character Portrait: The phone

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Am I seeing things? Or is that IC thing in the OOC chat?!

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Character Portrait: The phone

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The phone flops