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RPA: Azmodai2 and Blade

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RPA: Azmodai2 and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Alucroas on Wed May 23, 2007 10:24 pm

Alright here's your subject to Role Play.

You're walking through a massive plain, mountain ranges to the south, and a stream heading straight into it on your left about 20 feet wide and 16 feet deep. Eventually in the distance you come across a town lined up along both banks of the stream to your left. Within the town is a variety of bars and inns mainly for travelers looking to relax, kick back and rest for the night or find themselves a good time with one of the mistresses who work for the inns.

To the north is a series of hills that lead to a rather hilly desert.

On your right lies a vast forest of full of tons of creatures, ranging from friendly folk monsters, anything you can imagine living in a forest.

Note: You can pick where you go. However whichever route you take will determine what character I decide to use in my lesson plan for you.
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Re: Oni-Link and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Blade Miahn Shinne on Sat May 26, 2007 1:10 am

He was walking through the vast, grass plain, the sun’s rays beating on him endlessly; his leather clothing making his red, sunburned skin chafe. The river to his left was no good for taking a short swim in because the current was too swift, and it was so cold that it froze the tongue to the roof of the mouth. This trek was absolutely torturous for him.

He didn’t even know who he was or where he was from. One day he awoke on a bend of the river many miles back, and seeing a plume of smoke in the distance he followed the river in that general direction. He had nothing with him and had to live off of whatever he could find near the river and the surrounding plains for the few hours that he had been there. Whoever had left him here had not harmed him physically, but also left him no means to survive or figure out who he was.

His shoulder length, messy hair was matted to his head and face with the sweat by the time he saw the first signs of a tree line in the distance. The thought of a little shade excited him in a way that his identity could not have just then. That is where he headed, the trees in the distance.

As the tree line got closer he kept getting more anxious to reach it. When he got within a couple miles of the ever looming forest, he began to run for the glorious cover that the trees would provide. He only reached the very fringe of the forest before passing out.
Last edited by Blade Miahn Shinne on Sat Jun 02, 2007 2:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Oni-Link and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Thu May 31, 2007 7:06 pm

Okay I'm not your approved Tutor but I need to get ya moving. First point, remember Oni's original post, he put you walking in the plain, not being swept in the currents of the stream. Second, take into the account that he indicated he wanted you to pick a direction to head in. Third, being unconcious and not in one of the particular settings put forth leaves your character effectively out of the roleplay, which is not what we want. In itself the post is well written and conventions are good, but the lack of relevance makes it difficult to play off. Why don't you write another post using more of Oni's post in it.

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Re: Oni-Link and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Sun Jun 03, 2007 8:53 pm

Okay now that was a quality post. You used the settings given, introduced your character effectively, without giving too much away and your descriptive text was good. Your conventions were well done and there were no blatant errors. All in all well done.

He spotted the rapidly advancing figure easily over the wide plain, and his vision was further enhanced not only by his native blood but by his perch in a tall tree on the edge of the great forest. He saw the man sprint towards the tree line in what seemed almost like a panic. His pace was abruptly halted as he collapsed to the ground. "Dehydrated," the Elf in the tree said to himself, as he dropped out of his vantage and onto the soft forest ground.

He sped towards the fallen figure, nimbly avoiding low branches and roots ready to trip the unwary. His pace slackened as he neared the fallen man. He silently drew his bow from his back and nocked a long, slender and deadly sharp arrow. He stood over the clearly exhausted body and studied it, noting its leather clothing and wild hair. He moved closer and prodded the man with his foot, "Wakey-wakey..."

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Re: Oni-Link and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Blade Miahn Shinne on Tue Jun 05, 2007 8:28 pm

He groaned quietly to himself as he was so abruptly woken from oblivion. “Wakey-wakey…”

Moving his head very slowly so as to not increase the already shooting pain, he opens his eyes a crack and looks down at what is causing the slight pressure in his ribs. The dizzying effect that the multiple images of the boot create makes him close his eyes and heave the contents of his stomach. The contents of his stomach being nothing more than stomach acid at the moment caused his dry throat to flare up in intense pain.

Moving his hands underneath his chest, he pushes himself slowly to his knees and sits there breathing heavily. Turning his head in the direction he had last seen the boots that had prodded him in the ribs, he looked up and very slowly opened his eyes. The figure was a silhouetted against sun that was setting behind the trees behind him and He could see no more than the shadow of the fine curves of the figures face and body and the bow with the arrow trained on his person.

Not startled in the least by this for some reason, he stood up unhurriedly and dusted his clothing off, “Who might you be, if you don’t mind me asking?”

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Re: RPA: Azmodai2 and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Mon Jun 11, 2007 3:53 pm

Okay, good post, good length, decent vocabulary. You left me something to work with which is always good and you addressed the situation at hand. You also provided good insight into how your character felt and what he was thinking. I would like to see just a bit more meat in the posts but for now you're fine.

The elf stared down at the man and chuckled,"You are hardly in a position to be asking questions, but I will tell you anyway, my name is Kharis, and I live in these woods." He smiled at the kneeling man and sat back against a tree. "Now who are you? What are you doing in my forest and why are you dressed in all leather?" He gave the man an inquisitive stare and kept his bow trained on him, considering what to do.

Kharis slowly took the arrow off his bow and reverently placed it back in its quiver, making sure not to let the feathers get damaged. He slung his bow over his back and crouched in a squatting position, eyeing the man before him. He studied his features and noted distinguishing marks, committing it all to memory. He also looked over his leather clothing with amusement, thinking about the fact that leather was terrible in the heat of the plains, and not much better for the swift movement through the forest that was required. He hummed to himself as he watched the man, his face expressionless.

He drew his knife and began to stir the leaves beneath him absentmindedly, his long pointy ears perking at the various sounds of the forest. He looked over at the man again and shrugged, turned and climbed the tree behind him nimbly, his slender hands and feet finding holds easily. He looked over the forest from a high branch he stood perched on, then peered back down at the figure, now beneath him. “Well? Care to answer my questions?” He called down.

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Re: RPA: Azmodai2 and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Blade Miahn Shinne on Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:35 pm

He looks at Kharis dumbfounded, and then runs a few paces away from underneath the branch. Looking up, he cups his hands to his mouth, “For the answers to your questions: Name me what you want, I have no memories at the moment. Your forest was a great relief from the heat of the plain, or would have been if I hadn’t feinted on the perimeter of it. And for your third question, the answer is the same as the first, I don’t know, but it chafes something horrible.” After which saying he rubs his inner thighs and cringes.

He walks over to the trunk of the tree and looks for the hand holds the elf used to climb so nimbly up to the heights by prying at wide areas of bark and trying to climb, but fails. His larger weight and meatier fingers denying him the grips he needs. He goes back to where he can see Kharis, “You wouldn’t happen to know a way for me to get up there would you? Probably not. Well, lead on then and I’ll try to keep up, if the pace isn't too great.”

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Re: RPA: Azmodai2 and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:50 pm

Okay, good post, a little on the short side but thats okay. One issue I must now address. Your use of the present tense in RP. While in chat RP this is fine, since chat is instantly malleable, forum RP does not cater so kindly to present tense. In my perspective not only can it occasionally be confusing to read but also just feels 'wrong' to read. While I will not FORCE you to adopt past tense it is my STRONG recommendation you do so. Not only will it be easier for those you RP with but also you may notice that a single present tense post in the midst of past tense ones tends to disrupt the flow of the RP. That being said this post was good, however I would still like to see more into what your character is like. There just didn't seem to be enough thought process going on.

Kharis looked down at the man beneath him and chuckled to himself. He dropped out of the tree and nimbly landed in a crouching position. He stood and looked at the man again, "I shall call you Tergus, which means leather." Kharis laughed lightly at his own little joke and turned towards the forest, his eyes scanned through the the trees, mentally mapping a route.

"Fear not my friend, I shall not leave you to trek through the forest floor by yourself, besides, you'd be horribly lost without my guidance." He started off into the woods, then stopped, his mind caught in thought. "On second though... no... very well. Tergus I suspect you may need a weapon while we travel the woods. They are dangerous at the best of times," Kharis drew a long silver knife that had been belted at his side and with a flick of his wrist sent it straight into the ground between Tergus' feet.

"Now come, nightfall will come soon and I would rather be home before then, and frankly I intend to be there with or without you." He turned back to the forest and began to walk into the depths of the trees, the green beginning to engulf his figure.He stopped just past an enormous oak and looked back at Tergus, urging him to follow.

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Re: RPA: Azmodai2 and Blade

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Blade Miahn Shinne on Sat Jun 16, 2007 2:42 pm

Thanx for the advice. I'll start using the past tense from now on. I'm just used to doing chat based rp's so present is something I do quite easily if not as often as I'd like to now.

He looked at Kharis with just the slightest quirk of a smile, “Tergus. It’ll do. For now.” Looking into the depths of the forest and seeing nothing that should be considered dangerous he frowns, but still slowly bends down and retrieves the knife from between his feet.

Instinctively, Tergus checked the balance of the knife’s blade compared to hilt finding it remarkable. The keen edge of the blade, when checking, cleanly slicing through the first layer of skin on his thumb with the faintest hint of pressure. The knife was a simple long, thin, silver blade with a knotted black leather hilt. Kharis had given him a great gift indeed, but no need to mention that to him, he would find thanks soon enough. Tergus carefully slid the blade into a belt loop that was unused by the lack of a belt.

He ran to catch up to Kharis, admiring little of the passing foliage. Once he eased his pace to that of a walk at his guide’s side he was entranced by the beauty of the forest. There was every kind of tree imaginable, or at least that he knew by name; the giant oaks, the towering cedars, the willow trees with their long branches that gave the best cover during night. It had never occurred to him that it should be odd that he should remember these things but not his life before arriving at the river.

Never looking away from the surroundings, Tergus began speaking to Kharis, “You mentioned that this forest is dangerous at the best of times, but all I’ve seen is the beauty that it claims for its own. What is this danger you speak of, and how do we avoid it if we can?” Stopping suddenly, Tergus turned and looked at his guide with a stern look, “I’m not in the best shape to be fighting anything. I want to avoid any conflict if at all possible, but I will fight if need be.”

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