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RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

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RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:19 pm

Hey there, wilkommen ein... hell I don't speak german. Anyway, Since I have no idea what your skill level is as of now my first post will provide a setting and allow for your character to enter. You have one of two options, choose a character you have used consistently, has a set personality and abilities and use him in this RP or be completely amnesiac and wake up not knowing who you are or where you came from. If you choose to go with a character you know please PM me a bio of him/her.



The ash wastes were an unforgiving and desolate landscape, only the hardy survived here. Hot volcanic dust blew across the black rock ground, choking both plant and animal life, lava flows wound their way through the land, oozing and fiery rivers. The centers of civilization were low, flat, cramped cities protected from the dust and debris by enormous walls. Even so the thick ash found its way inside and the cities still held a gloomy demeanor about them.

Sokah, the largest city in the wastes, was a community of hardened souls. Dale stood at the main gate of the city, and peered out across the barren world he inhabited. He stepped slightly outside and underneath a canopy, where the out-of-city travel vehicles were housed and approached his personal motorcycle. His thick black coat floated lightly in the slight breeze and he straddled the large bike. He pulled on thick tinted goggles and jammed his finger into the ignition button. The machine roared to life and with a rev he shot of over the black ground, kicking up clouds of black dust as he rode.

Twenty miles from the town he spied it, the limp form of a human half-covered in ash laying perhaps 50 meters in front of him, he slowed as he neared it and planted the kickstand as he dismounted the slowly humming machine. He walked up to the prone figure, "hey you okay there?"

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby datenshi_snow on Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:20 am

((I have been wanting to create a new character for some time, I'll take this as my chance to do so. And I don't speak german fluently, I jsut speak a little. ^_^ I have a question though, if my character has a 'pet' or 'familiar' or whatever you wish to call one or many animal companions, would that count as an npc, or as a part of my character, or as a separate entity altogether? Thanks so much for tutoring me, I reeeeally need the help, lol!))

The sound of a motor blaring in her ears, and a soft, firm voice asking her if she was okay, were the first memories she had. As of yet her mind was blank, black, the only thing she could see in the cavernous space was a flicker of violet flame, and those words drifting towards the ground. Pale eyelids fluttered, the soft red fringe that lined them moving as if it was another being entirely, then shot open when she smelled ash.

Amethyst orbs gazed around frantically, unblinking in their curiosity, taking everything in with surprisingly fast accuracy. Her vision was distorted slightly, and it was almost if she could sense the heat just by looking around her. A few moments of watching her bare, dusty, desolate surroundings and she was used to this vision, it was her nature. Everything was dark and warm, the only light seemed to come from glowing red streams of molten rock. She sat up slowly, shaking some of the ash out of her... what color was her hair? Slender, grimy hands plucked a strand from the curly mass and slid her finger through the ash. Deep, vibrant red. It looked unnatural. A slow shrug and she turned around, her body movement reminiscent of a snakes slither as she stood up, quite shakily. Was she supposed to have these... things? Legs. They felt wrong, but she didn't seem to have any other choice but to use them.

Lifting her head up, quite uncaring of the fact that her body was almost completely covered in ash, and only ash, she smiled at the man before her. Sparkling, opalescent teeth shone through the rest of the grime, and extended, fang-like canines poked into her dusty lips. It was another moment before she spoke, her voice smooth and low. "I-.. I thhink I am ffine. sssss..." The smattering of freckles that covered her nose wrinkled up in unison with the aforementioned body part. "Everrrythhing about me ssseemssss wrrrong."

The young woman looked down at her toned, curvy body, covered in a layer of grime, and then back up at him. She made her first unconscious move at that moment, sliding her tongue out to taste the air, and staring at the man in front of her. Her slit, vertical pupils widened and narrowed as she took in his appearance. His high body temperature. Much higher than her own.

She spun around slowly, making sure to take as much in as she could, trying to get used to her legs, before she abruptly, purposely, collapsed into a sitting position, staring up at the man and his vehicle, unblinkingly. "Who arre you? Who am I? Wherre issss thissss placssse?"
Last edited by datenshi_snow on Sun Sep 23, 2007 8:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
Really? ...... Oh? ..... Yeah. ..... Uh huh ....... Su-ure ......
Yeah....ya, I'm not really listening to you right now.

Image

Image

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:12 am

Excellent post, I honestly don't have much to say about it. Your diction was excellent, grammar, conventions and spelling all fine. Excellent start at character development and the quirks are interesting, they leave me wondering more about your character. All in all well done, but can you continue the trend?


Dale stepped closer to the ash-covered woman and studied her as she rose, spoke, then collapsed. As she fell he rushed over to her and caught her in his strong arms. She was strikingly beautiful, the red hair a distinct rarity among people of the Ash Wastes. He pulled her a little closer, "Sorry, miss, but i haven't the slightest clue who you are, you can call me Dale, and this little piece of hell is called the Ash Wastes. I think we oughta' get back to Sokah before it gets dark, the Ash Scorpions like to prowl around here."

Dale lifted the girl gently, then it struck him she was stark naked. He blushed slightly and took off his long coat and draped it around her, "Wear this, it isn't much but it'll cover you enough to stay decent. Where'd you get your accent anyway, lady?" The coat was entirely too large but it covered her body completely.

He walked the girl slowly to his motorcycle and planted her on the front seat, he sat behind her, his arms around her gripping the rubber handles of the bike. He tapped the ignition button and the bike expelled a cloud of black dust from it's exhaust before starting up completely. He revved once and hit the accelerator, shooting them both off back in the direction he had come.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby datenshi_snow on Sun Sep 23, 2007 7:59 am

((Lets hope I can! ^_^ I am very glad you liked it. I know I tend to use too many adjectives, and I use a lot of commas. ^^; Thanks. -Post post edit- I really think I could have done better on this, but for some reason my brain just didn't want to work for me today! argh. *sighs* Oh well. thats why I'm in training, lol!))

The young woman listened intently to the man, and tried to make sense of everything he told her. Dale... It was an interesting name. She gave Dale a once over, deciding she liked what she saw. His clothes were dusty and grayish, and his body seemed to be very well toned. She desperately wished to see what kind of eyes lay beyond the thick, dark goggles that were still strapped to his face.

"I do not know who...what? I am eithher. Umm...." Her voice trailed off as his words triggered more thoughts in her head. This machine looked very useful. She silently wondered, for a moment, if he planned on taking her somewhere on it. Well, probably. Her attention turned inwards at the small violet flame that occupied her otherwise fairly empty mind. It was hissing at her,trying to get her to wake up. 'Wake up,' she wondered silently, 'I'm already very much awake, thank you!' At this she promptly turned her attention back to her only memory.

Dale said something to her again, and slid his coat onto her shoulders. Curiously, she placed her hands into the sleeves, and pushed them down into the long fabric. It was just a bit longer than her arms. Her hands made short work of that, though, rolling the sleeves up until they were just at her knuckles. She didn't understand what was wrong with her lack of clothing, but apparently it wasn't 'decent'. Her mind was still blank, mostly, she couldn't keep these thoughts in for very long, and was trying, in a roundabout way, to make sense of what Dale had said and was saying to her now.

"What isss an accsent?" She was sitting on the machine now, and they were speeding along the barren land that she had woken up in. The wastes looked quite beautiful through her strange vision, in one moment she saw dark, dusty, flat earth, with glowing patches of heat trailing along; in the next she saw blues and greens and yellows and reds, each indicating how warm the areas were. As she looked at herself she saw a greenish color, slowly changing to orange, and one shift of her eyes to each side saw a vivid red. His arms were on either side of her torso. Her own arms were sitting in between her legs in an altogether too innocent position as she leaned back against him. This man was.... warm, comforting. She liked him.

That having been said, or admitted to, a thought entered her head from that flickering energy inside her head and she gasped, moving one of her hands to her neck and rubbing it. There was something there! She hissed softly, keeping one hand on the seat and one hand on her neck, hoping that they would come to a stop soon, so she could safely examine what was attached to her. Not that she didn't have the balance here, but some instinct told her that this man would not appreciate her moving around much.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Wed Sep 26, 2007 2:28 am

No worries at all, it was another quality post. Your character continues to develop which is excellent. You also offer a compelling reason for me to get to town in my next post via whatever is in your neck. I once had an English teacher who said that adjectives weer excellent but truly your strongest tool were your verbs, consider that when you write your next post. Keep your level up and graduation moves ever nearer.

Ash wind rushed past as they came closet to the high walls of Sokah, the city a towering bastion in defiance of the cruel desert. Dale slowed the pace of his bike slightly as they began to near the outer wall. He glanced at the girl in front of him and noticed she was clutching her hand to her neck. "Are you alright?" He yelled, attempting to overcome the sound of the rushing wind.

He held the brakes down as they came within a mile of the city and they finally slowed to a rolling stop as he entered the perimeter of the outer vehicle shed area. As the bike came to a complete halt He dismounted carefully then helped the girl off the bike, "Be sure to keep that coat tight around ya, theres more'n a few here who wouldn't mind a look underneath, with or without your permission." He left the bike with the attendant and walked the girl to the smaller side entrance of the city, "So whats up with your neck?"

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby datenshi_snow on Wed Sep 26, 2007 2:09 pm

Well.... this sucks. Lol

I jsut got a job, so I don't know how often, or if at all, i will be on. I am moving and losing access to a computer. I will try to be on and continue this, I would love that, but time will tell.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Sun Sep 30, 2007 8:00 pm

Let me know when you can post :)

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby datenshi_snow on Sat Oct 13, 2007 12:01 am

((I'm BACK! for how long or how often, no one knows. But I'll be on as often as I can, lol! This is gonna be strange, and maybe confusing, and it ends pretty abruptly. But I decided to leave it as is, i'm supposed to be learning to write better, lol.))

The dusty young woman looked at the man as she slid off of the machine, tilting her head. "I am fine. And I will."

She wrapped the coat more tightly around her, gazing absently at the large walls in front of her and thinking that if anyone laid a hand on her they wouldn't live much longer, without any reasoning as to why she would think such a thing. She turned her strange eyes back to the man in front of her, hearing his comment about her neck, which made her recall the stray thought.

"Oh!"

One hand wiped at her neck as she felt a strangely smooth and lumpy, if that was possible, choker attached to her neck. That hand went behind her neck, brushing her hair to one side over her shoulder as it felt for a clasp of some sort. She sneezed softly at the dust that she inevitably inhaled, and as she sneezed, she felt that flickering energy flare inside her mind, transferring through the hand that was touching her neck. The thing wrapped around her neck moved, sliding and smoothing out and slithering down her arm with a hissing sound. She tilted her head again, this time to the opposite side, and her pupils widened almost to circles as she stared at Dale, and then at the live snake, then back again.

It was black, and growing in size as it fed off of the violet energy flowing through her right arm. So far it still looked almost unreal, until it reared its head up and stared at the two of them with amethyst eyes, the exact shade of the flame in her mind. The smooth black head tilted, mimicking its mistress, and a pink tongue flicked in and out.

Hello Misstresss Csserassss... And herr companion. It turned towards Dale. Thank you for finding my Misstresss and awakening herrr.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:43 am

I apologize for my lateness. Your post: Good, lot's of character development, especially with the addition of the snake, until now however i thought there was like a growth on your neck so in the previous posts perhaps be clearer but remain mysterious. Use of colors is innovative, however don't use it too often as it will diminish the emphasis it creates, unless f course you want that character to always talk in that color, etc.

Dale took a step back and his eyes narrowed at her, "Just exactly what are you, lady? And what the hell is that talking snake on you?" His hand drifted his rigt hip, where an easily identifiable pistol was holstered. He held his stance and kept a steady eye on her, "If you want to get through the city without arousing every guard in a ten mile radius I suggest that snake stays hidden. We're going to my house, we can talk there, but not a peep out of your little serpent friend along the way, now get in front of me."

Dale moved behind the girl, his hand still on the handle of firearm, he was now infinitely more cautious than he had been when he first picked her up in the middle of the desert and his eyes kept darting form the back of her neck to their surroundings, as if to dare anyone to approach them. He kept them walking and they passed the outer wall of the city with little trouble, they were still a few hundred yards from any dense population... or as dense as any city population got in the Wastes. "Alright time for your little snakey friend to hide."

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby datenshi_snow on Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:45 pm

I do plan on having the serpent use a different colour for speech at all times. Thank a lot, and yes, I should have been a bit clearer, but I was winging it, I had yet to decide exactly what would be on her neck at the time, lol!

"I... I don't know what.. who.. hch!" She hissed softly at the end of her short sputtering sentence, and growled at the snake on her arm. Having realized that it's mistress had no idea as to what was going on, the snake slid into the sleeve of the coat she was wearing and wraped itself securely around her arm, its tail twining about her neck to resemble the choker it had previously been.

The young woman tilted her dusty head down to stare at the ground as she walked in front of Dale, muttering an apology softly. "I didn't know, honessstly.. I'm sssorrry." It was more of an automatic response, at the moment she was in too much shock to be feeling any emotions other than curiosity at exactly who she was - or what.

Her head lifted back up and she stared at her surroundings, almost empty stalls along each side of the street, broken apart only by dark alleyways and broken down buildings. Everything seemed to be dull-reds, browns, beiges, tans-and she wondered silently how anyone could stand the lack of vitality. A soft flicker of movement with a cold color caught her eye and she turned around, her slit pupils narrowing as she searched through the bodies for that strange heat signature, but everything was yellow and red now, the few humans in this area were crowding together to chatter and bicker and trade. She sighed and gazed at her would be rescuer - possibly now a captor - almost sadly before turning around and walking to his directions.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Tue Oct 23, 2007 11:34 pm

Okay in that case a consistent color is fine. I see the snake as a possible way to fill in gaps about your character's past, or to expand the storyline. When using NPC's remember this simple question to ask yourself when creating one: "What do they do for the story?" As in how does the NPC complement the way the story is told, either past, present or future. DOn't create needless characters, it only serves to clutter the story and confuse the others, OOC abound: "Wait so who's johnny, an NPC?" "Yeah." "Can I control him...?"

Dale lead her through the bleak and silent streets toward a more populous area of the city. As they entered the city square he had her turn left and skirt what was possibly the only area of Sokah that had what could be called a concentration of life, aside from the vice-filled downtown. As they managed their way through the slightly thicker crowd and out the other side of the courtyard Dale leaned in, "I don't want to hurt you but we have more than a few things to sort out."

They rounded a corner and headed down a vacant street, towards what appeared to be a sector of the city devoted solely to housing. Dale guided the woman towards one of the larger complexes, and as they moved inside he lowered his weapon. He moved her up two flights of stairs and down another hallway, where they stopped at a steel door that had no obvious handle. Dale stepped to the door, "Open for Dale." The door slid sideways into the wall and Dale half-pushed the girl inside, before stepping inside himself. The heavy metal door slid closed behind them.

The room was reminiscent of a large two bedroom suite one might have reserved in anticipation of a long vacation in a far off country, however, there were key differences. Everything in the room had an almost industrial feel to it, and there was little decoration. Most of the space was clearly designed for functionality not decorum. Dale moved to the small kitchenette area and pulled out a small glass from a cabinet, which he promptly filled and unidentifiable amber colored liquid. He down the glass and turned to look at the girl, "So... who are you?"

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby datenshi_snow on Wed Oct 24, 2007 10:41 am

Yes, lol. The only reason I ever make an npc is to further a plotline or to assist in my characters development. Granted, every one of my characters has at least one npc attached to it, and two of them have several, but if the npc ever shows up in an rp it only appears because it is necessary. I don't like controlling more characters than necessary. It's not that good a post, but.. My first one got trashed when the draft didn't save. x_x so I had to rewrite it.

The young woman entered the room without looking around. For once she was completely uninterested in her surroundings, her mind focused on itself. As soon as Dale closed the door behind him and went into the kitchen she slid off his coat and slid it across the counter to him. She sat down on the floor, much to the disdain of the large serpent that was still coiled around her arm and neck.

"I don't know who I am. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know any damn thing! All I know is that I ssee norrrmally and then I ssee heat, I sspeak ssstrange accorrrding to you, I don't feel rright in thiss body but at the sssame time I do feel rrright in it. And the only thhhing in my mind bessidesss quesssstionss isss thhisss burrning ffflame that jsusst won't go out, and it's thhe sssame colorrr asss my eyessss... And then therre is this ssserrpent," A gray, ash-covered finger pointed at the ebony bodied serpent, "thhat I feel like I know and it hasss the ssame eyesss asss me almosssst."

She sighed and stared at the floor in an aggravated mood. "dammit. I don't even know my own name...."

Your name iss Csserrrasss Elssspethh Y'sss, Misstressss. You arrre of the rrrace of Nagi, the ssnake people and ssnake-ssssouled. Kin to Elvesss and Nativesss. You arre one offf thhe lasst offf your kind, ifff not thhe verrry lassst. I am... Almossst like what sssome would call a familiarrr... I am yourrr sssoul-ssserrrpent, connected to you forreverrr. I am pet and ssserrrrvant and helperrrrr. My name isss Llyssssa. Suddenly Llyssa's dark body slid off of the girls arm and onto the floor, revealing smooth caramel skin from underneath the ash covering Ceras' arm. And you, Dale... are rresscuerr off my misstress and mysselff...

"Csserrass Elsspethh Y'sss...." Ceras Elspeth Y'ss stared at the ground, then at the serpent that was watching her, then at Dale. "I'm ssorrry for the trrouble I've caussed you, Dale..."

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Fri Oct 26, 2007 6:40 pm

Pending Graduation

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby datenshi_snow on Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:07 pm

Miao? o_o okay then.. ^^;

*blushes* wow.. Thanks so much for recommending me for graduation, Azmodai2... Hehe. I really have very little faith in myself as a writer, so that makes me glad to know that I'm not as bad as I think I am.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:45 pm

You're a great writer, absolutely without a doubt one of the better ones of the website. And you have also been approved for graduation!!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!! Get out there and contribute all you want to the RPGateway community. ^_^

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Datenshi_snow

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby datenshi_snow on Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:02 am

Yeay! ^_^ lol. Awesome, Thanks a ton.

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