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RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

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RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:07 pm

*straightens papers at his desk and smiles* back to school! Anyway Ralana this thread is for you and I. OOC will always be in Red, Posts in black, I may highlight things in your post or mine in blue to emphasize, any other color will be explained with its use. Our RP will be a little more fine-tuning and a few advanced topics as I have RPed with you before. This first post will give us the setting of the RP and provide your entrance into this universe. Remember your character is amnesiac (not constantly, no 10-second-Tom's please) and doesn't know where they came from or who they are.

Lightning lit the sky as thunder crashed all around, winds whipping through the trees and rain battering the small archipelago, palm trees swayed, bent almost completely over, their leaves pulled taught. Old stone buildings and ruins occupied much of the jungle surface of the islands, however their inhabitants had long left. On the largest island sat a great temple, and around this great temple sat a tent-city. Men rushed two and fro among the canvas metropolis, securing various items and attempting to get delicate equipment out of the now torrential rain.

Out of the jungle a group of men sprinted, rather awkwardly as they were laden down with something quite large wrapped in a blanket, towards the nearest tent to the edge of the camp, one shouted as they ran, "Hanz! Get the doctor we have found something in the forest!" Hanz responded promptly by dashing off towards the medical tent just as the group bearing the object darted inside a tent, they laid the object gently down on a table and the blanket unfurled by itself. The doctor rushed in, his eyes filled with concern, "What happened? Is someone injured?" The man who seemed to be the leader of this small party, a tall, dark-haired, green eyed soldier-type, looked up, "No, we found something... or rather someone... Look! They're waking up."

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ralana on Thu Sep 20, 2007 1:56 am

OOC: Sorry it took me so long!



Cold… It was the first thought to run through the woman’s clouded mind. The sensation was the first thing to bring her back to reality. Close second was the dull, numbing pain that echoed harshly through out her body. It was as though her body had been frozen, her body felt stiff and she ached everywhere. Slowly her body started to shiver trying to warm itself up as the woman slowly started to turn her head just to know she could move it. Her world of black was slowly fading as faint sounds of a real world crept into her mind…

Look! They’re waking up…

It was the first coherent sentence she understood. Slowly she opened her eyes revealing their bright blue green color, but then the woman was forced to blink a few times because of the water droplets formed on her long eyelashes. It was then the woman realized she was completely soaked to the bone, which may have been why she was cold. Feeling more, of what she assumed to be, water, and something thicker run down her check the woman looked over at the men clearly confused and now starting to get a little frightened. She didn’t know where she was, who they were, or even who she was. Reality was starting to set in as sheer panic was slowly overcoming her, “Wh-where am I?” The woman muttered out before coughing from her throat being dry, it seemed to be the only part of her that was. And now the woman was able to taste dirt on her lips. She would have been distracted by it, but her eyesight was clearer now. She knew that she was in a tent full of men, in pain, and with no memory. That was more of a concern.

The woman, who appeared to be in her mid twenties, was wearing only a thin, white gown although the skirt was torn up in various places, and because of it being completely soaked the fabric would have been see through if it weren’t for the fact she was covered in mud. Her long, curly strawberry blonde hair was also coated with mud and it was matted to her head. A long trail of dried blood could also be seen running down from to the top of her head to the woman’s cheek. There were also a few cuts on her legs and feet along with various bruises that were scattered on her body though the mud hid most of them.
STAR WARS


Motti: Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the rebels' hidden fortress...

[Vader makes a pinching motion and Motti starts choking]

Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing
American Physco


Patrick: I don't think we should see each other.

Evelyn: But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I don't think it would work. You have a little something...

Patrick: I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I thought about that. You can have'em.

Patrick: There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:45 pm

Excellent post, very advanced level. Descriptive text is put to good use. Grammar is fine, typos are minimal if any (I don't spell check EVERYTHING) The only thing that could have been better was organization, you left the post off with the description of you, instead of making it a little more open ended and leaving it at you waking up and asking questions. Keep this up and you will graduate in no time.

The men around the room blushed visibly as they noticed her appearance, she was certainly attractive, and the dress, matted and wet as it was, did not hide any curves. They shuffled about, unsure how to react, and a few left, uneasy at the situation. The leader of the party that had discovered her ordered everyone else out except himself and the doctor.

They looked at each other unsure how to proceed, and the silence was only broken when the doctor spoke, his voice was soft and calm and he was obviously experienced, "Dear girl, where did you come from? My friend, Erik here, says they found you laying on a dirt path in the middle of the jungle. Do you live here perhaps? What is your name?" He moved closer to her and set his bag on the table and opened it. He removed several items from inside and snapped it shut again.

The man now identified as Erik smiled gently at the girl and stepped slightly back from the table, as he did he spoke quietly in a slight German accent, "The good doctor wants to check your vitals, please don't be alarmed at his instruments. As he said my name is Erik, and I am one of the Guard Captains stationed at this camp. Seeing as we have found you on this island perhaps you could tell us more about it, particularly the ruins?"

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ralana on Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:56 am

OOC: Thanks for the awesome complements. Ok, so this one is a little long. I feel like I could shorten it a bit, but I don't know part of me felt like I needed the ending? I wasn't sure so I thought I would a little further with it. So...yeah...all I will say since I don't wanna be asses myself which I do way too often. :? Hopefully I got the format ok lol




As she awaited an answer, the young woman noticed the looks on the men’s faces, the fact they were blushing was what got her attention. Slowly it began to hit her, she was not only freezing, but soaked as well. The woman glanced down over her body not only seeing that she covered in mud, but that her outfit wasn’t doing much to cover herself. Coughing, she slowly and thoughtfully put one arm over what female areas she could hide while going to pull at the blanket with her other hand. As she went to cover herself with the blanket, the woman’s gaze went back to the two men now left in the tent, staring at them curious, but at the same time still scared.

Where did you come from?

The words the doctor spoke stopped the woman’s mind as her facial expression turned completely blank. She briefly caught the part about the jungle, ruins, and her name? And just when she tried to order her thoughts she noticed the doctor’s bag and the items he had pulled out. Her blank expression had quickly changed again to nervousness. Then the man called Erik spoke to her. The woman’s blue-green eyes looked up at the man still nervous and yet curious as to whom he was. Guard Captain? She had no idea what that meant. And again he asked about these ruins and-

“Island…?”

Confusion was clear in her voice as she looked between the two trying to see if she recognized them at all, trying so hard to search her memory for them or anything they asked. But, there was nothing. How could there be nothing! No! She had to know something right? Frustration started to build up inside of her along with the million other emotions already beginning to rage. It was a rude awakening. How could you not know anything? Not even who you are!

“I-I…” Her voice trailed trying to search for words, but there was nothing. Her state of shock mixed with all the confused emotions in her mind had brought everything to a halt. For a moment the world stopped, and she tried desperately to find some explanation for the men and herself. But no matter how hard she thought the simplest answers never came. Her brow furrowed as a look of loss came over her. The woman shook her head,

“I-I don’t…I don’t know…” She let her voice trail as she just listened to what she had uttered. The words were a moment of realization for her, no matter how hard she tried there was no memory and no answers for them. Now the pain that was in her body slowly started to rush to her head. Her eyes grew moist as she looked at them repeating the words in growing desperation, “I don’t know any of it…”

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Mon Sep 24, 2007 5:58 pm

Another excellent post. Don't ever feel the need to SHORTEN your posts. Every detail is welcome, I have never, on policy, tried to shorten my posts in length. Your format was great and again no grammar or spelling issues that are readily identifiable. Keep it up.

The doctor began to conduct his examination as Erik sat down in a chair at the side of the table. He sighed heavily and stretched, his muscles tensing then releasing. He looked up at the girl on that table once more, "A pity... well we have to call you SOMETHING. And you definitely need clothes, as much of a morale boost as it may be for the men we can't have you walking around in naught but a wet white dress. I'll call for one of the guards to bring you fresh clothes, although right now I believe all we have are combat fatigues." He stood up and smiled again at her softly before turning to the doctor, "Please find this woman some clothes, I wish to have a word with her."

The doctor nodded and stepped out, and Erik stepped closer to the table, "So you have no clue where you came from, no idea what your name is and no idea where you are? I find that a little hard to believe, it's just you and me lady, c'mon why don't you tell me?" He stepped back from the table and opened a cubboard, and pulled out a large bottle of scotch. He poured himself a glass silently and took a small sip, "Well?"

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ralana on Wed Sep 26, 2007 10:15 pm

OOC: Thanks! Sorry it took me so long to post this one.


The woman didn’t even notice when the doctor started to examine her, at least right away. Still lost in her confusion, she was trying her best to keep herself from having a total breakdown. The young woman needed to at least keep herself level, for the time being. Reality set in through when the other man, Erik started speaking again. Call her something? A name she guessed. Blinking she looked over at Erik with a raised brow. His comment about the clothes…was he mocking her? Instantly the woman pulled the blanket tighter around herself while going to slowly sit up. It was difficult at first because of the pain in her head, and her now throbbing headache.

Her gaze went back to the doctor when Erik ordered the man to leave. Well, at least she would have clothes, but she wasn’t too thrilled about the ‘word’ Erik was going to have with her. Somehow she didn’t think it was going to be a good one, so they had rescued her but who knew what kind of men they were. Now, she was sitting up fully leaning forward on her elbows before looking back at Erik just listening to him. He thought she was lying! The woman just started at the man in disbelief while searching for words.

“Are-?” She stopped letting out a bitter smirk while running a hand through her matted strawberry blonde hair, “Are you mad?” She swallowed harder trying to think of a way to defend herself while still trying to control her emotions. The young woman was failing at it though as tears were forming in her eyes, “Why would I lie? What reason would I have?!” Her grip on her emotions started to slip away very quickly. Confusion started to seep through into her voice and her frustration became noticeable. Lying about this at the moment seemed ridiculous. “I am telling you the truth I don’t-…I don’t know anything!” Tears started to pour down her cheeks with the words both from the emotion and from the pain in her body. God her head hurt. She leaned her head on her hand trying to focus before noticing the texture difference between her hair, skin, the mud, and blood? She had to look awful. She sniffled trying to get a hold of herself, but the reality of her situation made the woman start shake, “It’s all blank…and-I don’t know how I can prove it to you…”

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Sun Sep 30, 2007 8:33 pm

Quality is maintained, which is excellent. Sustained quality is often something many good RPer's struggle with. They can write a great post but then they start to fall off, the fact that you continue your trend puts you on a higher level. So we're going to focus mainly on character development as you will soon be entering the persistent world RP for the RPA. Concerning your post my comments are much the same as previously. I would like to see more specific character traits though, other than being beautiful, wet and insulted I don't really have much of an idea about your character's personality.

Erik watched the girl as he proposed his question, attempting to find any hint of a lie. She had to know something!This conception, however, was shattered as soon he saw the tears well up in her eyes. He sighed and moved closer as she began to shake. "Hey calm down, sorry, I thought you might simply be trying to size us up, y'know, get a feeling for who you were dealing with." He sat up on the table next to her and hesitantly put an arm around her. "Look I just need to know why you're here, and if you don't even know then I guess we'll just have to work around it. The problem is the people that contracted my men and I "

As he was talking there was a loud rap on the door and two young men in military uniforms walked in, follow by a man in a slick black suit. Behind him was the doctor carrying a pile of clothes. The man in the suit strode forward and as he did Erik hopped off the desk and stood straight. "Hello sir, this is the woman we found in the forest, she claims to have no memory," Erik stated as the man neared. Aside form his clearly clean and pressed suit the man' most notable features were his brilliant white smile, disturbingly blue eyes and nearly bleach blond hair... and a massive scar running across his right eye. "So, my dear, you have no memory? How do you propose you prove that? The operation I run here requires I know everything about these ruins, you must have some knowledge of them," he asked.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ralana on Tue Oct 02, 2007 4:04 pm

OOC: Okies, so I didn't proof read this one as well as the others, so I gave you more typos. Hehe. What else is needed in a woman? jk. I do see what you mean and I made an attempt to bring something deeper out of her. hopefully..lol enjoy!

For a moment she started to feel some comfort in the fact that Erik seemed to believe her. She hadn’t meant to cry or even tremble, the feeling was sickening. It made her look, and feel weak, or perhaps helpless was a better term for it. Feeling his arm around her the woman almost tensed not sure she wanted him to touch her, at least now, although it oddly helped. Strange. She sniffled going to wipe her eyes and bit lip hard to force the tears back inside of herself as she listened to what he said. Contracted? He was with hired men? What did-?

Her thoughts stopped at the knock on the door. Instantly she pulled the blanket up around herself more and lowered her gaze trying to cover up any sign that she did or had thought about crying. So, she didn’t notice the other men walk in until Erik spoke. Apparently? What happened to him understanding? The woman looked over at the man in a suit as he spoke thinking that he looked quite fake, from his teeth to his hair. It was…too clean. And then? He wanted proof! But, she had just gotten done with-a heavy sigh escaped her pale lips as the woman looked down at the floor shaking her head.

“I don’t’ know how to prove it to you…” She paused growing more irritated that they expected her to know something she didn’t. She already felt stupid for being here with no memory. She searched for some form of logic she could give the other, “I don’t even remember what I look like, and I have no idea what kind of ruins you are even talking about! And if they are just ruins of…” Her voice trailed as she found herself once again at a loss, “…well of something…then why it is so important?” She paused looking over the man before glancing back at Erik as certain pieces started to fall into place in her mind. A man hires military, a doctor, and the said man walks around in a nice clean suit. She didn’t like the picture that was forming in her mind, and somehow it didn’t feel very legal. “And aren’t their other people around that you could ask about them? People who aren’t bleeding? Say in the town nearest here?”

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Sat Oct 06, 2007 2:15 am

Excellent post, here we see more thought from your character, which is good. Also we see opinions formed, which is good, and again you leave me plenty to work with. No negative comments, keep it up :).


The suited man sighed and turned to Erik, "She's of no use to us, I don't care what you do with her, give her to the men or something, for fun. Just as long as she doesn't interfere." He nodded to the two guards accompanying him and he walked out, the guards right on his heels. As he left the orderly dropped the fatigues on the table then followed the guards out the door. Erik turned to face her as his employer left, he looked at her for a moment then down at the clothes that had been left. They consisted of a green tank top, a camo jacket, loose camo pants, combat boots and a black belt with a snap buckle. "It seems they didn't see any importance in undergarments... for your information there are no towns nearby, this island is quite deserted except for us."

He looked back up at her and pushed the clothes over, "I am sorry if I seemed callous when Mr. Vin Suror was here, however, he does supply my paycheck and thus I owe him a modicum of respect. How are you feeling? We have hot showers in the barracks, however I believe it is still raining outside, after it stops I can escort you... and have no fear I have no intention of handing you over to the men to be used." He turned away and sat down in a chair, "Well... you need a name."

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ralana on Tue Oct 09, 2007 12:36 am

Instantly when the man in the suit told Erik he could give her to the men the woman grew more panicked. He couldn’t do that! It was wrong! It wasn’t fair! He had no right over her, nor did anyone! Quickly she crawled up in defensive position while thinking of a way to defend herself, or protesting. Maybe she should just run? Yes that’s it! She could run and find help. A plan of escape ran through her mind as the other men left. She didn’t even notice the clothing that was given to her until Erik spoke, and even when he did she didn’t move just yet. She just listened to his words not wanting to give a hint that she was planning or thinking anything. But, then…he wasn’t going to turn her over? Well that’s good, but…

“I do…though…” She took a breath going to sit up a bit straighter as she pulled the blanket over herself more. The woman looked over at him, “Can I trust your word? That you won’t give me to the men…?” She paused looking directly at him as serious and as calm as she could be. Just him casually stating that he wouldn’t do it wasn’t enough for her, “I don’t mean to be rude, but…give me your word…as a soldier or well whatever you are…that you won’t…I need you to give me your word…I-I don’t know why…I just do…” Something inside of her told the woman that if he gave her his word then she could trust him. What value did it have honestly? Perhaps none to him, but to her it meant a lot. She didn’t know why.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:45 am

Good post, we're seeing a little more character development and thought process which I like. Again something to work with, although I still want a little more descriptive text. Use strong verbs combined withs strong adjectives, not just strong adjectives.

"My word? Very well... you have my word as a soldier that I will not hand you over to my men to be used. You also have that on my word as a gentleman. Perhaps you should get dressed, I'm sure the men would be far less inclined to try something if you got out of that rather revealing dress and into something a little drier and a little less see-through," Erik smiled and moved towards the exit of the room, her turned back. "When you are done getting dressed please call me back in, I will be just outside the door," he stepped out at these words.

Outside Erik removed a pack of cigarettes from his breast pocket, tapped one out of the package and slipped it into his mouth, he then lit it with a waterproof lighter and stood under a slightly overhanging area in front of the entrance to the tent and watched the heavy rain fall. The pitter patter of water on canvas resounded through teh camp and Erik sighed, he was unsure what the appearance of this strange woman meant and f she didn't remember anything at all, well... why was she here? He turned towards the zipped up canvas windows of the tent and called out , "Please change quickly, I'd rather you not get sick from wearing a soaked dress all day."

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ralana on Sun Oct 14, 2007 1:20 am

OOC: Alright, I tried to add more verbs, but well I don't know if its enough. lol.


A light sigh of relief escaped the woman’s pale lips through a genuine smile when he gave her his word. The woman suddenly felt lighter, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of her. It was the first moment she was able to let her body relax and her muscles loosened. The feeling was so liberating that she almost missed Erik’s words. In fact she didn’t start moving until he left the tent. Slowly and carefully she moved towards the edge of the table letting her feet dangle over the edge for a moment as she pondered her next moments. She let the blanket fall off her body since it was only her there in the tent.

Right getting dressed. Hopefully she still knew how to do that. Turning her head she looked over at the clothes thinking about the whole process of getting dressed. It seemed fuzzy, but maybe…just by doing it she would remember, at least she hoped. Slowly she edged herself off the table touching the canvas covered group with her tip toes. A surge of fear went through the woman’s body when she thought about standing up on her own. What if she fell? Nothing was broken right? Well her body still hurt a numbing pain that was surging through her. Oddly the woman was used to the feeling and it almost seemed that it was normal for her. Maybe it was? It was then when the woman was lost in her own worries that Erick yelled back at her and it made her jump slightly in surprise. Oops. The woman started to slide more off the table as she put weight on her feet slowly flattening them out while still keeping a tight grip on the table. Once her feet were fully flat and she saw that she could stand the woman grinned as she looked to the tent too.

“Its sweet you are concerned.” She shouted back to him with a light smirk, before slowly letting go of the table as she pulled off her slip. The process was still slow since she still hurt and as she pulled off the thin night gown, struggling slightly with the wet fabric that wanted to cling to her body, the woman felt a series of pops go off in her body. “Damn…” She tossed the gown on the table before reaching over for the blanket to dry off and wipe what mud she could off her body. As she did her blue eyes danced over her body looking to make sure she didn’t have any other cuts on her, but she only saw some burses, and a few scars. She didn’t pay much attention to them since well Erik was waiting, but she thought she saw a birth mark or something on her stomach.

After drying off as quick as she could the woman grabbed the green tank top slipping it over her head wishing she had been found with undergarments, at least for her top she needed it. She swallowed going to grab the camo paints and then slipped them on easily since they barely fit her. Right, she needed the black belt. It took about a minute or two for her to get into the clothes before she called out to Erik, “Alright! You can come in!” By the time he entered the woman would be slipping on the camo jacket since well she needed it to cover up her front. She still wanted to look decent. She hadn’t put on the boots yet.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Sat Oct 20, 2007 4:51 pm

Excellent post, nice length, a good read. The changing scene will certainly have the male (or female...) readers wishing for more. Respond to this post.

Erik walked in slowly, noting that she had yet to put shows or socks on, he stepped to the chair he had previously occupied and sat down again, "I hope everything fits well, we don't have much in the way of womens clothes in a militarily run camp." He poured himself another glass of his favorite liquor and drank deeply before standing. He sighed and looked up at her, "Well I suppose I need to find you a place to sleep, especially since I can't have you sleeping in the men's barracks." He seemed to muse for a moment and turned away, then stepped to the door. "Put your shoes on, I'll let you have the spare space in my private quarters."

Erik opened the door and peered outside, and called over one of his men, "Kael, I can trust you right? Good. This woman is going to be sleeping in my quarters- no not like that you idiot. I want you to stand guard outside of the room the nights I'm away on operations. Thank you." The guard saluted smartly and walked away, half-smirking to himself, Erik turned back to face the woman, "The boys are an unruly lot, it's small wonder that Mr. Delveccio hired me." He waited for her to finish dressing.

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Ralana on Sun Oct 21, 2007 5:24 pm

The woman went to sit down on the bench while quickly slipping on the socks. She was about to tell him that the clothes were fine when he mentioned her sleeping in his quarters. A slender brow raised in an arched curve as she listened to him. Sleep in his quarters? That was a bit…well odd. What would people say? Watching him yell outside and hearing the reply from the other man answered that question. Maybe she should argue with him, but really it would be easier to control one man then a whole group of them. Leaning forward she grabbed the black combat boots as her jacket opened up from not being buttoned, “Thank you…for helping me. I really do appreciate it.” She glanced up at him while going to lace up her boots with a soft smile before looking back down at her feet.

Wet, matted strands of her curly, strawberry blonde hair fell in the woman’s blue eyes as she worked at the laces. She started to wonder about where she was, and well why there was a military there at all. As she finished with the boots the woman looked back up at him, “Why is there a military by some ruins anyways?” Slowly she stood. “I mean…” She paused looking him once over, “As far as I know military’s are run by governments…and countries…and they usually aren’t hired...” Slowly the woman moved towards him forgetting for a moment about her open Jacket until she felt the flaps hitting against her hips. Quickly looking down she grabbed the edges and pulled them closed over her body trying her best not to blush. She needed to say something else to quickly recover, “What are these ruins of anyways?”

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Re: RPA Azmodai2 and Ralana

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Azmodai2 on Fri Oct 26, 2007 6:40 pm

Pending Graduation

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RolePlayGateway is a site built by a couple roleplayers who wanted to give a little something back to the roleplay community. The site has no intention of earning any profit, and is paid for out of their own pockets.

If you appreciate what they do, feel free to donate your spare change to help feed them on the weekends. After selecting the amount you want to donate from the menu, you can continue by clicking on PayPal logo.

 

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