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RPA: Hunter and Edge

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RP Academy - HUNTER and Gabriel Faile

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Gabriel Faile on Mon May 21, 2007 7:49 pm

The sound of a stick gently tapping the ground echoed through the dark night. A single man walked down the empty streets of a little fishing village on the coast of Ireland called Twain. He moved slowly with his head up and looked oblivious, yet concentrated as he moved. His long brown coat dragged across the ground behind him. His blue jeans were worn to look almost gray in the darkness. He wore a black t-shirt with a white and red compass rose upon it, the shirt was a perfect fit upon his crafted torso. His medium length brown hair tossed gently in front of his eyes, the man did not seem to mind or even notice.

He paused suddenly before turning and entering a dimly lit tavern. He wandered cautiously up to the bar, the stick tapping every foot of the way. His left hand reached out and pulled out a stool and he hopped upon it. He let the cane lean up against the bar infront of him as he turned his head in the direction of the tender and began to gently drum his fingers upon the bar top.


"What's yer poison?"

The Tenders heavy accent echoed through the seemingly empty room. The patron smiled cautiously before speaking.

"Tender's special."

The man's speech was clouded with a heavy Canuck's breath as he heard the burly Keeper turn and begin to mix bottles into a shot glass. He set it infront of the customer heavily and leaned back against the bar. He took the shot in a quick sling and slammed the glass down upon the bar before nodding for another.

"If ye don' mind me askin', what's up wit ye eyes?"

The Keeper asked as he mixed another drink. The customer couldn't help but smile.

"What's up with my eyes? What ever do you mean?"

"They be odd colors. Black'n red."

"I've never noticed."

He took the shot that the Tender had placed upon the bar for him while they spoke.

"But, they call me the Navigator."

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Gabriel Faile
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Re: RP Academy - HUNTER and Gabriel Faile

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby OIL on Tue May 22, 2007 3:37 pm

He walked slowely across the wooden docks. The sea was rough and made a loud sound of thunder as it hit the small boats and splashed up onto the decking. His heavy boots made a clinking sound as he walked acros the wood. His chains acros his leather biker style top moved and clinked in the breeze. He stood on first small stone step at the bottom of a dozen and took a deep breth. His face was hidden under his long white hair. He slowely started walking up the steps and then turned and looked towards the small town. His green eyes glinted as he saw a small tavern in between the buildings. He walked up slowely towards it. The sea was still loud but was getting quieter as he gained his distance. His large blade hung in its sheath from his belt the red handle glinted slightly everytime a bit of light from one of the many buildings hit it. He stoped infront of the door and reached his leather fingerless gloved hand out towards the handle and opend the door. He walked in cloosing it behind him.

He stood there and scanned the tavern looking at all the diffrent people.Most looked like vilagers apart from one guy at the bar he seemed difrent. His blade glinted as he walked forwards to the bar. He pulled out a stool against the far wall and sat there waiting for the bartender. He heard one of the villagers starting to get a bit off his head and turned round to look. He turned around and saw three of them standing over him staring at him baring there teeth. The man simply grunted and turned away. One of the three men grabed his shoulder. The man lifted his hand to the villagers and moved it "dont touch me" He spoke in a casualy but rough way. He felt a hand on both his shoulders and lift him up off his seat. He swung one leg back kicking one away then slaming his gloved fist into anothers jaw he sent him over one of the tables. The third man lifted up the stranger and threw him acros the bar. He slid acros knocking the bartender over at the same time and fell off the end of the bar. He stood up slowely from the floor wiping a bit of blood from his mouth laughing. He reached for his blade and pulled it out smiling. It glinted in the light and the blade had a saw like edge on one side. He lifted it up and walked towards the man. He spun it and stabed the third man through the gut. The man reached for his stomach as he bled. He then pulled it out and sheathed it. Blood coverd the floor now and the stranger sat in his seat again casualy hearing the groans of the other men.

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OIL
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Re: RP Academy - HUNTER and Gabriel Faile

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby OIL on Tue May 22, 2007 3:37 pm

He walked slowely across the wooden docks. The sea was rough and made a loud sound of thunder as it hit the small boats and splashed up onto the decking. His heavy boots made a clinking sound as he walked acros the wood. His chains acros his leather biker style top moved and clinked in the breeze. He stood on first small stone step at the bottom of a dozen and took a deep breth. His face was hidden under his long white hair. He slowely started walking up the steps and then turned and looked towards the small town. His green eyes glinted as he saw a small tavern in between the buildings. He walked up slowely towards it. The sea was still loud but was getting quieter as he gained his distance. His large blade hung in its sheath from his belt the red handle glinted slightly everytime a bit of light from one of the many buildings hit it. He stoped infront of the door and reached his leather fingerless gloved hand out towards the handle and opend the door. He walked in cloosing it behind him.

He stood there and scanned the tavern looking at all the diffrent people.Most looked like vilagers apart from one guy at the bar he seemed difrent. His blade glinted as he walked forwards to the bar. He pulled out a stool against the far wall and sat there waiting for the bartender. He heard one of the villagers starting to get a bit off his head and turned round to look. He turned around and saw three of them standing over him staring at him baring there teeth. The man simply grunted and turned away. One of the three men grabed his shoulder. The man lifted his hand to the villagers and moved it "dont touch me" He spoke in a casualy but rough way. He felt a hand on both his shoulders and lift him up off his seat. He swung one leg back kicking one away then slaming his gloved fist into anothers jaw he sent him over one of the tables. The third man lifted up the stranger and threw him acros the bar. He slid acros knocking the bartender over at the same time and fell off the end of the bar. He stood up slowely from the floor wiping a bit of blood from his mouth laughing. He reached for his blade and pulled it out smiling. It glinted in the light and the blade had a saw like edge on one side. He lifted it up and walked towards the man. He spun it and stabed the third man through the gut. The man reached for his stomach as he bled. He then pulled it out and sheathed it. Blood coverd the floor now and the stranger sat in his seat again casualy hearing the groans of the other men.

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OIL
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RPA: Hunter and Edge

Tips: 0.00 INK Postby Edge on Mon May 28, 2007 12:11 am

Introduction POST
First we’ll start with the basics.
The Promise:

In the world of writing, you make a contract between the reader and yourself.

You make a promise. As to what that promise is- it depends on the story and the writer.

In the flipside world of RPG, it’s no different, though instead of making a promise just to the reader, you’re also making a promise to the other writers.

The World is the first part of the Promise, and following the build of the world is very important.

RPGers rely on team work. As a team, we may be as small as 2 or as many as 12 or more. We lean on the post above and take details from that sample of writing to further the story along. Our characters react to what ever is thrown at them by the other players. This is why the Promise is so binding.

But how do you keep the Promise with The World?



Because of where you left off, I will be continuing with this line of RP with my lessons intermixed.

POST FROM PREVIOUS LESSON
SAMPLE POST


He walked slowely across the wooden docks. The sea was rough and made a loud sound of thunder as it hit the small boats and splashed up onto the decking. His heavy boots made a clinking sound as he walked acros the wood. His chains acros his leather biker style top moved and clinked in the breeze. He stood on first small stone step at the bottom of a dozen and took a deep breth. His face was hidden under his long white hair. He slowely started walking up the steps and then turned and looked towards the small town. His green eyes glinted as he saw a small tavern in between the buildings. He walked up slowely towards it. The sea was still loud but was getting quieter as he gained his distance. His large blade hung in its sheath from his belt the red handle glinted slightly everytime a bit of light from one of the many buildings hit it. He stoped infront of the door and reached his leather fingerless gloved hand out towards the handle and opend the door. He walked in cloosing it behind him.

He stood there and scanned the tavern looking at all the diffrent people.Most looked like vilagers apart from one guy at the bar he seemed difrent. His blade glinted as he walked forwards to the bar. He pulled out a stool against the far wall and sat there waiting for the bartender. He heard one of the villagers starting to get a bit off his head and turned round to look. He turned around and saw three of them standing over him staring at him baring there teeth. The man simply grunted and turned away. One of the three men grabed his shoulder. The man lifted his hand to the villagers and moved it "dont touch me" He spoke in a casualy but rough way. He felt a hand on both his shoulders and lift him up off his seat. He swung one leg back kicking one away then slaming his gloved fist into anothers jaw he sent him over one of the tables. The third man lifted up the stranger and threw him acros the bar. He slid acros knocking the bartender over at the same time and fell off the end of the bar. He stood up slowely from the floor wiping a bit of blood from his mouth laughing. He reached for his blade and pulled it out smiling. It glinted in the light and the blade had a saw like edge on one side. He lifted it up and walked towards the man. He spun it and stabed the third man through the gut. The man reached for his stomach as he bled. He then pulled it out and sheathed it. Blood coverd the floor now and the stranger sat in his seat again casualy hearing the groans of the other men.



Spelling You need to run your posts through spell check.
You had roughly 27 spelling errors out of 486 words. If this were some other stat, it wouldn’t be so bad.

In an RPG, this is a bad stat to have. Not to say I haven’t had my days of REALLY bad spelling. But you learn how impatient RPGers are with misspellings as you gain experience.

In a post you want a max of 5 misspellings. Now, keep in mind you can always come back and fix your errors- that’s never a problem as long as you do it soon.


1. The sea was rough and made a loud sound of thunder as it hit the small boats and splashed up onto the decking. 2. His heavy boots made a clinking sound as he walked acros the wood. 3. His chains acros his leather biker style top moved and clinked in the breeze.


Right, you’re trying to engage the readers with playing on sensory details. Very affective as you stick with sound. However you don’t have to tell your readers that it is a sound, just by rephrasing you can convey your meaning.

Sentence 1: The sea was rough and made as the low rumbled of thunder went through the sky as small boats splashed up onto the decking.

Remember Thunder can’t hit a physical object; it’s just a sound wave.

Sentence 2: Heavy boots made a clinking sound as he walked across the wood planking, the wood groaning with each step.

You don’t have to start each sentence with a pronoun as long as we’ve established the subject- in this case the stranger.
Of course I could go line by line on this and offer advice, but we’re going to rewrite this post and this time add an exercise to it. Ok?

YOUR GOAL:
REWRITE THE SAMPLE POST USING THE STARTING HINTS I GAVE YOU AND THIS LESSON BELOW.

Lesson ONE:
The Five Senses:

I’ll cut the chase- the three most used senses in writing are are:

Sight
Hearing
Touch

Those three are the most commonly used senses in RPG posts as well. But we’ve got two more not so commonly used.

Taste- Your body is well tuned to taste just about anything you smell. From sweat and blood to peaches and cheese.

Smell- Smell generally is where the action is taking place.

No matter where you are, there is always an area. Even in the blackest pits of Oblivion, there is something. You can feel can’t you? Or maybe you can’t. But that’s a feeling too- but more on that some other lesson.

Your first challenge is to:
~ usea basic human
~ No magic
~ No powers
~ Keep a light back story.

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Edge
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