The Promise:
In the world of writing, you make a contract between the reader and yourself.
You make a promise. As to what that promise is- it depends on the story and the writer.
In the flipside world of RPG, it’s no different, though instead of making a promise just to the reader,
you’re also making a promise to the other writers.
The World is the first part of the Promise, and following the build of the world is very important.
RPGers rely on team work.
As a team, we may be as small as 2 or as many as 12 or more.
We lean on the post above and take details from that sample of writing to further the story along.
Our characters react to what ever is thrown at them by the other players.
This is why the Promise is so binding.
But how do you keep the Promise with The World?
Dker Edgebreaker had just woken up. Sitting up in his bed his mind began to wander. He thought about when he left his hometown to start a living on his own. He lived a good ten years, after he turned twenty, as a traveling warrior. Fighting evil, helping people, and just kind of exploring the world. When he turned thirty he retired from traveling settling down in a small town. He opened a small blacksmith shop handling mostly small orders from town every once in a while making a weapon for a warrior or other class.Today he was turning thirty-five. Over the five years he has lived in this town he had become well known throughout the town. He was on friendly terms with everyone in town. He started to get up, just over four foot five he was of average height for a dwarf. He walked over to a small mirror he had positioned in the middle of his wall bushing his shoulder length hair flat. He started brushing his long beard before putting his ties in it. He tied his beard up into three ponytails. One big in the middle framed by two smaller ones on the sides.
"Today's probably going to be like any other day."
He looked over at his old warrior armor he had hanging on the wall. Memories flooded into him as he looked at it. The armor still had its luster as if it was just made yesterday. The black and red on the body and trim hadn't faded a bit. Dker smile before putting on his normal wear, a pair of brown worker pants with a white shirt. He slipped his brown leather apron over his head before pulling his beard from out of under his shirt and apron. He slipped on his heavy leather boots and gloves and headed out to his anvil. He poured a pitcher of water over his anvil whipping it off. He grabbed some raw steal tossing it into the furnace before starting to stoke the fire.An axe hung above the anvil. A family heirloom that he used when he traveled. It looked a lot lighter then it really was, ordinary dwarf had to use two hands to wield this battle axe.
Ok, Midnight, I’m not going to put your efforts to waste here. I’m going to give you my review of this post and from there we’ll continue together, ok?
Review: Over all this was a good intro post, there are some minor fixes to be sure.
Note that these are nit picky fixes:
…once in a while making a weapon for a warrior or other class.
Ok, it’s not a huge thing, but don’t refer to other “classes” it’s not a D&D game. If you want to refer to other classes, just list them.
It looked a lot lighter then it really was, ordinary dwarf had to use two hands to wield this battle axe.
Again not much, just replace your first ‘it’ with ‘battle axe’ so that readers aren’t searching around for your subject.
This post needs some further details added into, such as perhaps describing the house further or putting names to the places he’s been to. I like that you used a dwarf character. If there was anything major to fix it would be your beinging. There are some grammar mistakes as well as some word choices. If you fix the first paragraph- just slightly, it'll read better.
First challenge is to:
~ use a basic human (rule waive)
~ No magic
~ No powers – black smiting is a skill. Strength is appropriate to the character.
~ Keep a light back story.
Bonus: One physical handicap: Blind, deaf, or both, or physical injury that slows the character down. (optional)
Student: Midnight
Grade: 95
Lesson: Passed
COMMENTS: I would like to see a little more of the physical characteristics of the dwarf such as his hair and eye color. Little more details -not necessary- but would add to the flavor. This is a good solid post to be starting on.