Snippet #1047186

(its okay. I am gone for periods of time too)
The air began to cool and chill my arms. I woke up to find my daughter's fingers loosely entwined with mine. I smiled to myself and rocked the swing back and forth lazily with the balls and tips of my feet.
From where we sat I could see the fireflies still flickering and across the street the perfectly manicured lawns of the neighbors. The sprinklers were on and they had lawn gnomes standing about looking prim and pointy.
Our lawn had been like that a few months ago. We used to barbecue on the weekends and the neighbors would bring their children to play with you. Our pool was never empty. Charlie's friends would spend their afternoons there whether Charlie was there or not. Most said I was a den mother, with all the kids in my house and even they called me their second mom.
In truth I just could never say no.
"hey Mrs. Langley can we go upstairs and play video games"
"Oh but Charlie is not here"
"Oh that's okay...she won't mind" and then they went upstairs...the only way I could have dragged them down would have been with the police in tow...

I never did mind though. Otherwise the house would have been empty and only filled by your light. Your father had stopped coming home early at this point and Charlie had extra curricular activities and then you would decide that you wanted to go spend the night somewhere else...and I would be alone wandering trough the empty house, staring mindlessly at the phone or at the wedding pictures on the wall.
My life had been going down the hole even before you died. I remember my life with David, Charlie's dad. He had been like you...so full of energy even if the cancer was eating him up. He had wanted to see the beach one last time and teary eyed I drove him down to Galveston with him on the passenger seat and Charlie strapped on her car seat. We stopped many times for me to check on him, but he only smiled waving me on.
Charlie did not know why I would cry all the time and why David had to hug me and tell me it would be all right and try to make me smile...but on that trip down to Galveston I promised myself that I would not be the weak one next time...That I would be a tree of strength for people to anchor themselves on...but so far I had done a wretched job about it.
I rocked the swing and held Charlies hand and as the moon was obscured by clouds I closed my eyes. There would be a tomorrow and maybe I would grow some roots and some branches and next time Charlie looked I would be tall and strong like an oak and she would sit down by my trunk and shade herself from the hurt of this world.