Snippet #1348586

I looked at the stars far too much, these days. Was it because I was scared to lose them from as far as I could see? Who was I kidding? Myself. I was kidding myself it wasn’t cute, anymore. Or did I kid around, ago? It didn’t matter, now. I died. A long time, ago but it seems as if I had some skill to summon these people. This scenery. The stars. I’ll just be as a normal girl, acting as if I was living but it was hard. Why? Because you couldn’t act as something you weren’t. You were who you were. You are what you are now. It was like that, a cycle of a frog. A flower, almost anything that lived. But still I had no living cycle, I had a dead one. The type like a wheel with the colors; rouge and noir but there was definitely a blank. I landed on that white blank, like Alice went down the rabbit hole. I went down the hole to the pits of Earth; Hell as I heard some say but I didn’t like that word. I liked the letter, “H,” but Hell was in another planet. It was different. I have also heard the words heaven. They say it’s cool there and hot in hell. Why was that? Was hell a beach in a summer day or was I just an un-intelligent person. If hell was to be a beach than Heaven was the beach on a winter day. I think each is very beautiful but I had never gone to the beach, before. I stayed here, all the time but don’t pity me. Pity those who landed on noir, staying in a burning hell. And those who landed on rouge, a suffering hell.

I awoke to a voice. Whose voice was this? I seemed to forget, due to my short-term memory. Isn’t that how I forgot about my life before I was died? I opened my eyes, no one was here. No one, it was an illusion that I heard someone. I couldn’t help but see the first bed, pulling the curtain. I now remember. It was my room-mate that I summoned. I summoned her soul to stay with me. Then, I never would be lonely and abandoned. What was I saying? I was never abandoned. It must just bee the voices bothering me over and over. The bodies of people I didn’t know telling me to just die. I was dead, wasn’t I? I wished there wasn’t a person, which would command me to do something other than those I summoned. Repeating the words, “Go die, you useless fool.” These voices were wrong, though. I was already died. Shouldn’t they say, something like, “Go burn in Hell, you.”

My eyes stared at the ceilings, blankly it wasn’t pretty. Nor was faces pretty. They didn’t look alive, rather ghostly. I didn’t like that. I soon used my legs to carry myself up, sitting in a circle shape. My legs were to my chest but I felt as if they weren’t. It was weird feeling. Very paranoid. My eyes looked at my legs they were there. And my arms were there hugging them to my chest, tightly. I looked straightly at the curtain, it was moving. I was just a curious person, couldn’t help my tempting sides. I stood on my legs, off the bed now. I flip the curtain that separated my bed and the other one. There stood a person, staring straight at me. Ice in their eyes. “Why don’t you just roll over and die.” I couldn’t help but repeat the word, “No,” quietly. Why was I acting so very chaotic even though I knew I was dead. Just illusions, the doctors would say but that word didn’t help. They were what I thought they were. Though, they weren’t real they were like abstract. Abstract in my eyes from their icy eyes. I covered the other bed with the curtain, sitting on my bed, again. The person or illusion the doctors would say to me, walked out through the door. I wished not to see that person ever again, even though I was not living.