Snippet #1367780

Crys was still in a lousy state of mind when she finally moved from where she was standing. The worst about doing this was going back to shut people off. It was a whole different kind of pain. Theron's words had stuck to her mind. "You didn't do good, but you didn't fail either..." Why did it feel like such a failure to her, then?
It was the first time she ever tried this, maybe she was now being too hard on herself, but it felt just like failure. There was nothing Crys hated more in her life than failure.

She walked through the trees in order to reach the center of the camp without passing the others. She walked towards the lake and sat there, hiding her face in her hands, she couldn't stop crying. The worst part was that she didn't seem to be able to shut things off again. Maybe it was for the best though. Maybe if she didn't try so hard to make this go away she would learn some control. She threw a rock in the water with all her strength and muttered. "Focus. See through the pain. Why don't you try it then if it's so damn easy? Jackass!"
Then she broke down in laughter. She hadn't called anyone a 'jackass' since she was ten. She nodded, still laughing. "What the hell am I doing? I'm not a kid anymore, I don't get to whine over this." She took a long deep breath, and realized she felt much better a lot faster than she expected. "I should laugh more often I guess..." She stood up, reminding herself to never repeat that around Evin. Last thing she needed was to tell that guy he was right, even if it was true.

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Ali was, of course, listening to what was happening in the woods. She heard what Theron said to Crys and regretted not having followed. She would be insane to ask Crys what happened there. They had ten minutes off... She figured Crys probably wouldn't be back that day. She figured she could have stayed in bed since she was being useless. Well, she'd be more useless dead, that's for sure. When people started showing up in the clearing again, she wasn't surprised not to see Crys with them. She nodded to Jake, and he responded with a mere shrug. He sat on the ground next to her. "We have ten minutes. Should one of us go check on her?"

Ali nodded. "No. Better leave her alone. Had people been saying I died?"
Jake laughed. "I heard some rumors, yes."
She punched him in the arm. "That's not funny, you idiot!" She sighed. "Well, whatever... The few people who matter now I'm alive."
Jake looked at her a little more serious. "You're insane. You didn't even defend yourself, you just..."
Ali nodded. "I just wanted to hurt him. In any way I could. I thought that if he killed Bastian that easily I wouldn't stand a chance, so why bother?"
Jake looked away at those words. It was a valid point. "You're insane."
Ali simply shrugged. "In a way it works for me."