I hate Senās mom. Hate her, despise her, loathe her ā woah too far. Okay, so maybe Iām exaggerating a little bit but as arms wrapped around my shoulders I couldnāt help but think of how Iād made a fool of myself. Her uncharacteristic kindness made me want to flinch and her words made me want to hit her. How could she? How dare she? Obviously she knows I have a broken brain to mouth filter because I couldnāt hide that fact if I wanted to but for her to exploit it? Seriously?! She must be more sadistic than I thought. Sheās Russian Viena, sheās Russian. So what? I have a Russian mom and she is the nicest woman I have ever met; nicer even then Monikaās mother. Being Russian is no excuse for being a bitch. That was what she did make me think. She was being a bitch by asking a question like that and then saying that it was just a joke. Come on! I mean, really. When you ask a question like that I feel like I have to answer and when I answer Iām going to say whatever my brain wants me to because I have no control over that. I will pour out my psyche to anyone who asks the right questions ā okay not anyone because I have more sense than that but the point is!
The point is what it is and youāll suck on it and deal with it. Fuck off. No donāt. You get it.
I watched Sen run off and ignored the race statement because it didnāt really matter if he got more pelmeni than me. Iām not really hungry. Iām too busy feeding off my own anger and frustration and long after I heard Sen hit the main floor I got up off the bed and decided to follow after him. Slowly though, not in any specific rush to go anywhere in particular because I had no where in particular to go. Sure there was pelmeni and a family and Sen but I didnāt feel like I had to do anything to get there except walk and I donāt want to go any faster. A part of me wanted to call Monika and tell him but he didnāt deserve to find out that way and another part actually want to go over there and tell him but I had a feeling he might have a friend over or was busy putting the kids to sleep. Plus I didnāt think I was exactly ready to tell him even though all of me said I was. Then again most of me wanted to get downstairs and shove as much pelmeni into my mouth as I could but my stomach said it would only take as much as it wanted not as much as I wanted. Which pissed me off because I would not let my stomach rule my mind.
Then it grumbled in a sickly kind of way and I sighed. Okay, maybe it would.
Once I hit the main floor I made my way to the dining room where we always ate when I came over even though I felt it was too fancy of a location for someone like me. The whole time I was combing my hands through my hair to try and smooth out whatever his mother had ruined even though I knew there was no use ā my hair always fights against me. Which is why I know thereās a kick at the side of my head and sticks out and up like a little curl. A cow lick, thatās what itās called. When my hair is messed up I get a cowlick on the side of my above my ear. It annoys me because whenever people I know see it they get this urge to pull on it; Monika and Niko at the top of the list. I donāt get it.
āAh! Viena, you have that thing at the side of your head! Heh, itās so cute.ā
āStop tugging on it would you Monika? Itās uncomfortable.ā
āOh, sorry. I justā¦. I couldnāt help it. I had to.ā
āThatās fine but really. You donāt need to play with my ugly cowlick.ā
I dropped down into one of the seats that sat against the lengthwise side of the table and dropped my head onto the surface. Iām tired, Iām slightly hungry and Iām still annoyed. Life couldnāt be any better.