Snippet #1733793

Constance did not feel anything for a moment. Not cold, not heartbreak, not vengeance, just an utter numbness. It was as if she had been put in a trance, she only bore at those around her as if she was separate from the whole ordeal. Truly an outsider looking in. She didn't move, didn't blink and possibly didn't even breath.

Watching through the gauzy state of her mind, she saw rather than heard the Vokurian girl cry out. Constance was not sure where the girl had came from, only that she just noticed her. With wide eyes, she looked slowly from the girl to A'da, to the dragon, then back to the hunter. Constance could not even tell if the dragon was speaking or who the dragon was. It was the icey tone of A'da that finally triggered a reaction in Constance's body. The promise of brutality in his voice began to slowly bring her back, as if being lifted from quick sand.

It was then the hunter took a threatening turn and his finger shot up, clearly pointing in the direction of Constance and Rohaan. His words provoked instant trembling, starting in her hands. As he spoke, her mouth fell open and she felt struck as she inhaled a short, icy breath. The weight of his words hit her like a boulder, so much so that she may have even stumbled back. The beaten hunter confirmed the thoughts she had been struggling with. It was her fault.

The hunter's rant ended in a tortured scream that had Constance spinning on her heal, now feeling dizzy and faint. Within seconds, Rohaan was again leading her away, back to the house, telling her there was work to be done. For a moment, she just let him or followed him, it was a mechanical reaction. When they were almost to the house, but significantly away from the Ci'deia, Constance stopped in her tracks.

"No." Shaking, she brought one trembling hand up to her mouth as if to filter a sob and looked to Rohaan with huge, scared, green eyes. "No, Rohaan. He's right," she waved her hand back toward the hunter. "He's so right. This is all my fault. I shouldn't even be here. It's putting everyone else in danger." The hand covering her mouth went to hair to rake through the curls in a nervous manner. "I just want to be with you... but... for this? I'm just as guilty as he is. I should be the one they're killing. I... I...", covering her mouth again, her eyes darted, clearly she finished her thoughts in her mind. Constance had been trying to keep calm, trying to be strong, but what was she really doing? Who was she fooling? These people should not be being nice to her, should not be treating her in any kind of special manner. Even if she was pretty sure she was falling for one of their own.

That didn't matter. None of it matters. Again, she looked to Rohaan with frantic eyes. In her mind she knew she had to leave. It was best for everyone. He was not alone anymore, he was surrounded by Vokurians who respected him and would want him to stay. He did not need Constance anymore. A thousand logical thoughts crossed her mind as to why he would be better off without her, all of which her heart completely rejected. No, her heart would not let her get even one step away from him. Their conversation last night meant nothing. Her heart knew her words were a lie, and who exactly was she protecting with those lies. Herself or Rohaan?

"Oh, Ro," she choked out to her partner in crime, who was undoubtedly looking at her like she was a crazy person. "I'm sorry," Constance whispered, still shaking, "I don't... I..." Even she was unclear as to what exactly she was saying or trying to say. She felt guilty and selfish and vile for wanting him. For wanting to be with him, knowing that it only bring disaster. Her arms moved on their own accord as they lifted and wrapped around his neck, ignoring the throbbing pain in her arm and in her thigh as she stood on the tips of her toes.