Todd Mitchell Douglass
Mitch heard the other line open. He didn’t wait for anyone to respond before he started. “All right, listen here you asshole!” Mitch was yelling right off the bat, he didn’t even have the phone to his ear. “You’re really starting to fuckin’ piss me off! You break into my god-damned apartment not once, but twice! Then you think I’m gunna be your little bitch-boy and leave a pussy-ass note saying that I can call whenever I need you?! Fuck you! I don’t need no fuckin’ charity, alright motherfucker!? Specially not from your fancy suit wearin’ ass!” He paused for a moment to catch his breath, then started up again. “You really want to do me a favor fucker?! Why don’t you go fuck yourself!” He didn’t wait for a response, his simply shut his phone in the most violent way possible without breaking it. Then he ripped up the note and threw it at the ground.
“Damn that asshole! Comin’ in here like he owns the place!” He exclaimed out loud, still wound up. He looked at the window. His blood started to boil yet again. “Yeah, well fuck yo’ fucking window. I don’t need no shit from you!” He said to the empty apartment and began searching for his baseball bat. He gave up after a few minutes. “God damn it!” He said glancing at the window from across the room like it was mocking him. He rushed over to it and backed up to kick it out.
However when he thrust the bottom of his foot forward, it merely rebounded of the glass. Apparently the window had been an improvement to the last one. “FUCK!” He exclaimed tripping backwards. Somehow he was able to spin around and stop himself from falling. However, he ended up hitting his shin hard on the coffee table in front of the couch. “GAHH!” he brought his left leg up, hopping around while holding his shin in pain. Which led him to trip on one of the many articles of clothing that were still strung around his apartment and he went down like a tree. “SHI..” He was able to get out before he hit the carpet. Luckily he was saved from face injury by landing face down in the now squishy bag of peas that laid on the floor from last night.
He laid there for a couple of seconds. His cell phone began to rang. Mitch sneezed into the nasty bag of peas. Rolled over to lay on his back and let his arms spread out. His cell phone stopped ringing. Mitch sneezed again then sighed. What’s with all this shitty luck? His cell phone began to ring again. He picked it up and brought it to his ear. “WHAT?!” “Damn! Is that how you talk to your favorite uncle?” “Oh, it’s you uncle Rick.” “What the hell Mitchy? You sure as shit don’t sound happy to hear me!” “No, no…” Mitch tried to wipe some of the gunk off of his face. “…I just had a shitty time last night and today ain’t going much better.” “Well, let uncle Rick tell you something that’s gunna cheer you right up. I just got a fresh package that needs delivering and….” Mitch cut him off by sneezing. “I-I don’t think I’m feeling up to it today.” There was a silence on the other end for a moment.
“Well, I guess I’m just gunna have to give this four grand burning a hole in my pocket to somebody else then….” Mitch, who had been rubbing his eyelids with his free hand, moved it away as his eyes shot open. “How much?!” “You heard me Mitchy. Four, grand, straight cash.” Mitch stood up quickly and hurried over to his bathroom. “That’s like ten times what you normally pay!” “Yeah, I know. This one’s special Mitchy, they told me to send somebody I trust with it. And who else would I think of but my favorite nephew? I’ll tell you the details after you get here. Don’t make you gracious uncle wait now, got it?” Mitch had already wiped off his face and was heading down the stairs. “I’m already half way there!” A laugh erupted from the other line. “That’s my favorite nephew, see you when you get here.” The line cut off and Mitch stuffed his cell phone into his pocket as he jumped to the bottom of the stoop and ran down an alleyway. Four grand! Maybe my luck ain’t so bad after all! He thought with a wide grin on his face as he hopped a fence.