[Desert â Early morning]
âWhy are you meeting him?â
Dastan lost the little balance the alcohol hadnât taken, when two hands forcefully pushed him forward. He simply groaned in anger with his face down in the sand before pushing himself up and continuing to stumble his way across the encampment. Ever since the morning after the Wolves attacked the camp Dastan had been straight up ignoring Indrani as if she was a ghost and even now, it was no different; he continued to walk as if she wasnât there.
âYouâre being a baby!â Indrani shouted, following after him. âDASTAN!â She finally lost her patience right then and there; it was one thing if he didnât want to talk to her because he was angry, but this concerned her as well, and she wasnât going to let it go. She stood for a moment, fists clenched at her sides; hesitating to anger him further. Eventually she decided that the silence had to end, for better or for worse. She ran after him at full speed, and jumped at him, clinging to his neck and knocking them both to the ground. âYou asshole! Talk to me! I have the right to know!â She shouted, rolling off of him and sitting up in the sand. âI know you wonât forgive me, fine! You havenât removed me from my position as commander though, so I have the right to know why you are meeting with the Alpha in our territory!â
âWhy do you figure, genius? I want to discuss a truce.â Dastan muttered, pushing himself up again and stumbling forward as he continued to walk. âI trust you will not be here when he arrives.â
âDo you?â She asked, jumping to her feet and starting to walk after him.
âWhat?â He mumbled.
âDo you trust me?â
Dastan stopped walking and heaved a sigh. âDonât push it, Indrani.â
âYou could have ordered me to leave. You still can.â She stated. âIâve told them what Iâve done.â
âThey forgave you, I havenât. Not yet.â
âYou arenât sure Sean is really responsible. I know you wouldnât meet him otherwise. Are you afraid I might forgive him if you tell me the truth?â She asked him, placing one hand gently on his shoulder.
âIt doesnât matter if heâs responsible. It doesnât change the fact that you werenât here.â He argued.
âI know that. You didnât answer my question, Dastan; are you afraid Iâll forgive him?â
Dastan simply shook his head. âYour personal life is none of my business, Commander.â
âDonât do that!â She pushed him.
âWhat do you want me to say?â Dastan asked, turning to face her. âThat I am afraid Iâll lose you? Itâs too late for that! Itâs way too late!â
âI want you to understand⊠Iâm not going anywhere. Iâm not letting you push me out of your life. I donât know what is going on with you lately, but Iâm not going to let you go through it alone.â
Dastan sighed softly and turned to walk away. âThereâs nothing you can do for me.â He answered coldly.
-----------------------
[Desert, close to noon]
Jake opened his eyes and groaned wondering how the hell he managed to remain mounted in his sleep. Shadow was trotting calmly and slowly into the desert sands as Jake pushed himself to sit upright on the saddle, his back aching from the unusual sleeping position. Shadow whinnied and snorted as if to acknowledge that his rider had awoken and Jake gently patted the horseâs neck in greeting. âGood morning to you too, buddy.â He stated sleepily.
It had taken Jake longer than he would like to reach the desert. First of all, he had to make nice with his horse; Shadow wasnât happy at all to be left behind for a month. The only reason the horse hadnât been sold yet, was because he was too angry and no one wanted to take him. The result of this was that Jake had to walk great part of the way, because Shadow would refuse to let him mount. It took him a day later than expected to get there, but on the bright side⊠The trip was surprisingly quiet and uneventful, despite the fact he had decided to cross the forest; it was strangely quiet, but he didnât make much of it until he reached the desert and was immediately surrounded by six mercenaries pointing their weapons at him.
âState your business.â One of them ordered.
âIâm here to visit a couple of friends⊠Whatâs⊠whatâs with all the tension? Whereâs Jackson?â
The Crimson who had spoken turned to another and whispered, probably asking him to call Jackson, before turning back to Jake. âYou know Jackson?â
âI came here with the former wolves, three years ago. A couple of years ago I left. Are they not here anymore?â Jake asked, honestly confused.
The Crimson simply exchanged looks as if not sure what to say to this stranger; he seemed to know the assassins, but they werenât sure. It was at that moment that a familiar voice greeted. âWell, hello there handsome! Thought Iâd never see you again! And look what you carried home with you!â
Jake raised his eyebrow for a moment as the mercenary leader approached him in such a peculiar manner, but then he realized he was speaking to the horse, and snorted a laugh. âI take it she was very pissed, huh?â
Dastan shook his head and waved his men away. âPissed doesnât begin to describe it. Is that why you brought Shadow? Is he a Peace offering?â
âI retrieved Shadow they day after I left. I thought that sheâd like thatâŠâ He said, dismounting and leading the horse along as he walked after Dastan. âWhat is going on around here? Felt like I was entering the forest. Come to think of it⊠It was unusually quiet there today.â
âWeâve been at war with the Wolves lately; been a month since they launched an attack on us. I was not present at the time, neither was Indrani, Crys, or Evin⊠Allison and Jackson had to hold everyone together and⊠Had I not been as close as the healersâ camp, well⊠They could have slaughtered everyone.â Dastan explained, casually, as he led Jake to where the assassins were camped. âCrys isnât here.â He stated; a serious tone in his voice as they stopped by the group of tents and the nearby assassins began to whisper amongst themselves as they recognized Jake. âShe left about a week ago, Ali went with her⊠She mentioned going to see a friend⊠Didnât say when sheâd be back.â
âWhat about Evin?â Jake asked, trying to hide his relief at the fact Crys wasnât there. He wanted to see her, yes, but he couldnât deny he was nervous about it.
âNo one has seen him in over a month. People were wondering out loud if he got himself killed or took off for good, but Crys wasnât worried about it. She said heâll turn up eventually.â Dastan replied. âSo⊠What brings you back? Something must have happened for you to turn up like this.â
âI came to see Crys.â Jake stated. âNot that itâs your business.â
âIt is my business. This is my camp, and Crys is my friend. Besides you didnât seem to show any interest in seeing her in the past two years. So, why now?â
âNone of your business.â Jake muttered. âItâs none of your business.â
âYou had a sister once, no?â Dastan asked casually.
âYes. Not that itâs relevant.â Jake replied, leaning against Shadow and giving Dastan an agered look.
âWell, Crys is like a little sister to me. So, if youâve had a sister, Iâm assuming you will understand my urge to break all of your bones for what you did to her. Now, know that I control myself, because I know she still cares for you, but if you do it a second time⊠I will hunt you down just for that.â Dastan replied, opening a friendly smile and adding: âHave a nice day.â
Jake shook his head and sighed, but didnât bother trying to explain anything to the man, he didnât owe him anything.
âSorry, Iâm afraid I got him angry before you got here.â A voice sounded behind him. âNot that I disagree with him though. You were quite an asshole, and everyone talked about it for months. Which, coming to think of it, only got Crys far more pissed at you⊠Sorry.â
âThatâs nice Indrani. Very nice.â He chuckled. âThank you.â
âDo you want to let Shadow run around with the other horses a bit, or are you already leaving?â She asked, walking around him so that they were face to face.
âI suppose we both need a rest, so⊠Iâm leaving in a couple of hours.â Jake replied. âI suppose if I let him run loose, worst case scenario he wonât want to leave with me.â
âI donât think you should worry much, heâs obviously fond of you.â She said with a little nod, beginning to walk Jake away from the camp to where the other horses were.
âItâs really not that obvious to me.â Jake chuckled. âSo⊠Sean?â
âWhat?â Indrani asked, her eyes narrowing a bit.
âThat is what you and Dastan have been fighting about, yes? You said you made him angry, and I donât see any other reason why he would be angry at you.â
She sighed. âWell, yes.â
âI warned you about him, didnât I?â Jake said shaking his head. âWhat happened?â
âThe night the Wolves attacked, I wasnât here because Sean needed help. He says he didnât order the attack, and⊠I donât know if I believe him or not. He was with me while it happened, but⊠He could have given the order at any time before leaving the camp. Dastan is going to discuss a truce, but I donât know what he believes is the truth. We donât about it, we canât talk about it⊠He is still so angry at me.â
âHuh⊠Well, I donât know what to say. Itâs very like Sean to make sure everyone is away before attacking⊠Especially Crys and Dastan⊠I donât put it past him. What did Crys have to say?â
âJust about the same thing you just did. I just⊠I donât know⊠Something doesnât seem right about the whole thingâŠâ She said with a shrug, helping Jake remove Shadowâs saddle and headgear. âSee? Heâs a good boy.â She stated, stroking the horseâs neck. âThere you go, sweetie.â She smiled at the horse. âSean is not a bad man, Jake.â
âYes, he is.â Jake replied, lovingly running his fingers through the Shadowâs mane and patting his bare back as if encouraging him to wander off. âHe could be a good man, but he isnât. See, you shouldnât see people for what they could be; you have to see them for what they are. So, yes⊠Sean is a bad man. You need to accept the fact that, despite who he was and could have been, this is who he is now.â
âReally?â Indrani asked, leaning against a boulder casually. âDo you have no faith in people at all?â
âSome people can change, and some are just hopeless, I learned that the hard way.â
âWhat about you, then? Can you change?â
Jake chuckled softly. âIâm⊠Trying⊠At the momentâŠâ He shrugged slightly. âIâd like to say I can change, or that I have changed, but⊠I honestly canât know that for sure.â He dug the tip of his boot into the sand and smiled softly. âBastian Rivers used to say that people act in patterns, and those patterns never truly change; he believed every person is doomed to repeat the same behaviors over and over. When it seems like weâve changed, in reality that is just a different manifestation of the same behavioral patterns, causing the illusion of change.â
âSebastian Rivers was a strange, strange, man.â Indrani giggled.
âHave you met him?â Jake asked. âYou are right, but have you?â
âOnce, while we were stationed in the forest, he came by looking for Crys⊠Apparently she was in trouble. Was after a party, I think.â
âAh⊠I remember thatâŠâ Jake snickered. âToo bad I missed that party.â
âSo you donât think people truly change?â Indrani asked, going back to the subject they unconsciously wandered into.
âNo, I donât. If we could truly change, what would make us who we are? If we could change things so deeply rooted within our personalities⊠How would we ever know ourselves, or one another, in any level? These patterns are what make us recognizable as individuals, and not all of them are bad.â
âAlright, youâve known me a while⊠What are my patterns?â
Jake chuckled. âI donât want to do thatâŠâ
âCome on, you think Iâll be offended? Tell me.â
âYou have the constant need to prove your worth. Not even to others, but to yourself, because you never believe you are capable, or strong, enough. And you are terrified of failing the people you care about. Since you are constantly trying to prove your worth, you also have problems with asking for help, which leads to acting behind peopleâs backs, believing that if you show them weakness youâll let them down. That makes them feel like you donât trust them, when in reality you just donât trust yourself enough. You and Sean bonded over this feeling of not being worthy, I assume. Thatâs a side of him Iâve come to know pretty well in the past.â Jake said all of that in one breath, his eyes fixed on Shadow as he happily trotted alongside Mirage; it was the happiest heâd seen him in a long while and he considered just leaving him there, even for a bit. He sure did deserve to run free with other horses after being left with strangers for a month. After realizing Indrani had gone silent for a bit he snickered, glancing at her with the corner of his eyes. âIâm sorry⊠Was that too honest?â
âWhat about you, Jake? What is your pattern?â She asked, ignoring his question.
âI thought that was obvious.â He stated, turning to face her. âI give up on things I care about, because then I donât risk losing them. I havenât known this all along, but⊠Even now that I know it, it doesnât stop me from constantly doing it. All I need is to find an excuse, and it doesnât matter that I know this either, because when the situation presents itself⊠It wonât seem like thatâs what Iâm doing. Itâll seem like the right thing to do. My brain will trick me into it.â Jake stated with a little shrug. âThatâs why we are so doomed to repeating the same mistakes over and over⊠We donât realize weâre doing it, itâs just⊠A part of who we are. As a race, thatâs what we have been doing since the beginning of times.â
âSo you are saying thereâs no way you will ever make things work with Crys. I mean, if thatâs the truth⊠Then youâll just eventually leave her again, because you canât help it.â
Jake shook his head, a sigh escaping him. âProbably, but Iâm hoping not. Thatâs the thing with these habits⊠We donât notice them, but others do⊠So weâre doomed to make the same mistakes over and over⊠Unless thereâs someone there to stop usâŠâ
âAnd, as a race, who is going to stop us? The Gods?â
Jake looked up at the sky for brief moment, a smirk crossing his features as he replied. âAs a race⊠Thatâs where we are truly doomed. Because humanity, as a race, will never truly change.â
Indrani was going to say something else, but was interrupted when one of the assassins came running towards the two of them; Jake only the man by name, but the man seemed to know who he was well enough. âJake⊠We just heard some unsettling news⊠About your aunt.â
Jakeâs frowned slightly as he looked at the man. âIs Lena back?â
âShe came back about a month ago, did you not see her?â The assassin asked him.
âI⊠Iâve been out of circulation this past month⊠In the dungeons of Blackpond⊠What about Lena?â
âJake⊠Word from our contacts is⊠The White Rose⊠She died this past night.â
It was in a lightning fast move that Jake grabbed the man by the front of his shirt with shivering hands as he growled. âThatâs not true.â
âThe White Shadows say it is.â The man whispered softly, not seeming to mind Jakeâs gesture right then; it was visible that he was in pain. âIâm sorry.â
âNo⊠No⊠NoâŠâ Jake mumbled, pushing the assassin back and turning to walk in the direction of the plains without another word. It couldnât be. It just couldnât be true⊠He had walked good distance by himself when he felt something very strong push into his back and he stumbled forward before turning around in anger to see that Shadow had followed him. The horse had been properly saddled, and pinned to the saddle was a little note from Indrani that read: âYouâre doing it again.â
Jake snorted out in annoyance staring at the horse; his face still showing clear anger for a few moments before he forced a deep breath and his eyes softened only slightly. âYou stubborn beastâŠâ He stated, playfully patting the horseâs neck as he mounted. âI would have come back for you.â