Jonahās gaze was thoughtfully on the gun rack on the wall behind his second in command as he waited for a silent message to be delivered, and for Kole to dump whatever had him fidgeting, on Jonahās already overly burdened shoulders. It took no noticeable time for Nate to give an almost indistinguishable nod of his head, and with that, Jonah felt a small level of relieve. For a second there he thought his son had been discovered. He turned his gaze back onto Kole, once more the cold businessman by all appearances, his eyes unreadable as they watched the man bringing news.
The immediate hesitation after only Koleās first word, however, brought all that worry right back. Had Nate judged the situation properly, Kole only overreacting, or was his best friend at fault here? Lately Jonah hadnāt been quite sure what was going on with Nathaniel, but something was definitely gnawing at the male. Jonathon knew the other man well enough to tell as much, even if Nate denied it when Jonah inquired. The crime bossā eyes remained intensely trained on the young man he considered a son.
His next words froze Jonah in his seat. Fuck. On the outside, no difference could be seen on his face, but his insides were recoiling at the news. This brought his son into so much danger, Jonah briefly wondered if maybe Vicky had been right that Kole wasnāt ready to be sent into the field like that. Had his own father experienced this sort of anxiety when Jonah himself had entered the business? No, probably not. Jonah had been part of the family business himself since he was a kid. Besides, his father had been a different character than Jonah himself. Less driven, yet colder ā more hardened by what he had seen, and unable to let go of it to be there for his family even mentally.
Jonah placed an elbow on his desk, resting his chin between a couple of fingers of the upraised hand, leaning forwards only a little. Had he been with most others, he wouldāve remained rigid, but he had no particular image to uphold with the two men in the room. He raised both of his eyebrows, relieve, yet also a weird sense of reservation, coursing through him when Kole informed him that he had killed the handler in question. Relieve because part of him knew that meant at least the most urgent action in this case had already been done, but at the same time, reservationsā¦ because, well, the fatherly side to Jonah knew this event was tearing his son apart on the inside.
Jonah himself could hardly remember his feelings during his first kill. He had been 11 years old when someone had snuck into their house, aiming to abduct Jonah to use against his father. The man hadnāt counted on Jonah himself keeping a gun under his pillow, so when he had tried to grab the young boy, shots had been fired. Right through the guyās torso. Of course the house buzzed with activity with that sound, but the problem had been taken care of. By an 11 year old. See, he remembered the details clearly, and the look on the manās face: shock. But Jonah had forgotten his initial feelings.
He gave a slight nod of his head to indicate heād heard and dealt with the news, after which, Kole continued. He wasnāt surprised to hear that Kole had been thorough and done as Nate and himself had told him to, but he was rather pleased, in a morbid sort of way. Glad the man was out of the way, but again, he couldnāt help but think of the psychological effects of his. Kole was a good kid; he always had been. He wasnāt meant to be in this life, and Jonah knew it, but it was too late to pull him out now. That would only seem suspicious.
Jonahās eyes flicked briefly to the manila folder soon slid his way and as they reverted back to Kole, the older male took it in his hands, opening it while listening to Koleās other words. He paid no attention to the blood; it was nothing all that new to him. Again, Jonah was completely expressionless. At least while his son spoke of the specifics regarding the business. He had just taken out the papers given to him when Koleās last sentence was spoken. Jonah paused immediately, looking over the papers at the speaker. He carefully and meticulously put the papers back on his desk.
Then, Jonah sighed, his eyes showing that glint of fatherly worry and compassion. For once in a very long time, Jonah was unsure of what to do, although it didn't actually show. Koleās birth father had been a shitty one in every way possible. The man had not even had a sliver of loyalty towards the men he worked for in the crime world, and as for his woman and child, Daniel Merideros had been negligent at best. Then heād died in Koleās arms when the guy had been a mere teenager. The man had been the victim of a drive by, and although Jonah sympathized with the pain of losing oneās father, actually having him die in your armsā¦ he still couldnāt bring himself to care that the man had died.
Kole had ended up in a better place ultimately, and Jonah had nothing nice to say of men who downright mistreated their families. However, as it was, his son was clearly having a whole lot of problems with this, and as such, Jonah rose from his seat ā a motion that automatically made everyone else in the office rise as well. Then he took smooth strides, bringing him to his son. Jonah was only a little taller than the 24 year old, but his stance was much prouder and much straighter ā much more controlled. As such, Jonah places a hand on Koleās shoulder, looking into his eyes as he spoke.
āYou did well, Kole. You managed this situation where many men wouldāve panicked, and you have nothing to feel guilty about; he would have taken you down without a second thought. I know this must be difficult for you, and I understand that you feel the way you do, but heās not worth it. Think of what would have happened had you not done what you did. Any one of us would have done the same thing.ā He sighed then, pausing as he glanced at Nate out of the corner of his eye, before his eyes became all the more serious, on Kole once more, with his next words. āYour father was not your fault, Kole. There was nothing you couldāve done to help him, and you need to know that.ā
Thisā¦ was a sort of peptalk. Jonah was letting his more paternal side show, although it was difficult in this situation because his interests were so scattered. He hated that Kole had had to do what heād done, because he could see the toll it was taking on him so very clearly; see the pain and guilt in his eyes. Yet, again, he needed to make Kole realize he had done the right thing, because he had. It had been his only choice aside from going down, and maybe accidentally taking Jonah with him. Or at least partly.
Of course Jonah secretly wished the kid had merely called him or Nate to help him out, so that he wouldnāt have gotten himself in that deeply. Time had obviously been of the essence, however, and the patriarch understood as much. That didnāt mean he had to like it, though.