The thought was downright funereal. Mourning the loss of her life and her second selves had become enough to ruin her completely even in spite of being the apple of Liam's eye. 2,366 miles from home was like orbiting the solar system completely alone. "They're not gone, Jaylene - it's not like they're dead. Why don't you just get in touch with them?" It wasn't that simple. The fear of being tracked in any fashion kept Jaylene at least ten feet from the computer and phone at all times. Then she'd be stapled to numerous crimes. Not to mention at least one felony. In some ways she became comparable to an invalid exhibiting severe paranoia. Her debit card, phone… Everything remotely traceable was gone. Jesus Christ, I shot a fucking cop, she thought to herself. And all at once, the vivid impressions of Belleville and what she left behind came back tenfold.
Jaylene rested her head against the ivory shingles of Liam's apartment, her legs crossed, tawny and shining in the sinking Vegas sun. Untamed tresses of blond hair trailed down her torso. She rocked on the patio chair, the soles of her bare feet pressed to the balcony banister. Mindlessly one hand raveled and entwined in her hair that had grown an impressive few inches since she stopped abusing it with heat rollers, flat irons and wands. A couple hundred feet below her was the conventional liveliness of Summerlin, Las Vegas. The Sullivan girl's eyes batted in half time as if she were a jaded doll, emerald irises vitreous with meditation.
Some things hurt beyond words or thoughts. The parents that Jaylene considered anything but irreplaceable began to sink their obscured claws into her heart in a successful effort to remind her that the girl who resided in Belleville was nothing but a ghost, an impression like footprints on the shoreline, taken by the tide as if they never. Even. Existed.
Without so much as a word or knowledge of how they felt, Jaylene's heart wrenched for them and for herself.
And she'd never bothered to explain in comprehensive detail exactly what she left behind. She was sure Liam got the principle and basic idea, especially with Summer and Avery. It couldn't be difficult for anyone to understand, not with the way Jaylene's eyes would ignite when she talked about Summer and her infectious smile, her outgoing and friendly mannerisms that really could wrap anyone around her finger. The girl absolutely treasured her, even owed this unorthodox reverence to her for her staunch friendship that at times surpassed the love Jaylene perceived from her parents. in addition to all the other inward anguish were the words that clung to Jaylene's conscience. "Please Jay. Bay." … "I can't lose you." Traces of Kite speckled Jaylene's mind like bittersweet homesickness. Almost like - the dwelling aftertaste of something sweet that a person knows they ought to not buy more of but still crave it so fatally bad that… it's all they think about. No Electric Daisy Festival was going to rid Jaylene of that.
Then there was Mitzie. Poor Mitz. If Jaylene ever had to solemnly contend a soulmate it surely would have been the purebred, snow-coated Shiba Inu she left back home. On the days that Jaylene did dare to leave the house, she was disappointed upon returning not to hear the yipping of an excited puppy. Liam's house was great - modern, upscale and cozy enough. But it was vacant and lifeless. No friends. No Mitzie.
One foot flicked itself over the other, twitching with anxious rhythm. A shot rung out in the atmosphere, splintering her rumination but restoring it to the maximum in synchrony. Fireworks. The tip of Jaylene's nose quirked, her sternum jerking to one side with recognition. Tuffets of gray smoke zigzagged to meet the balcony, just narrowly skimming the surface of her skin and infiltrating her senses enough to paint the face in her mind that treasured an open flame. It's been so long. Her stomach plummeted as she envisioned Kaleb's enigmatic eyes, the structure of his cheeks and perfectly angled jaw. An indistinct groan rumbled inside her ribs until finally she choked promptly and wiped at her eyes just in time to prevent tears. Green eyes stared out into the adjacent neighborhood as Jaylene rested the chair on all its legs again to get to her feet. Heartache over Brik was nonexistent anymore - and it was completely bizarre to her that it had gone away and been replaced with the longingness to experience the rapport between herself and Kaleb just one more time. But she had to be real with herself, it would never happen again. And why would he even be remotely interested after how she treated him before she took off? Dogging him out and acting like nothing ever happened. That wasn't fair to Kaleb who had confided in Jaylene about his deepest agonies and secrets.
"Hellooooooo," his untroubled, deep voice filled the void in the home. Jaylene thought about calling out, but she was too deadpan. The sound of his keys dropping onto the table informed her he was heading straight for the bedroom. The stereo system flicked on, lulling something by The Weeknd. Once to the doorway, Liam stood against the dark oak frame, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. He drew his palm against the back of his head prior to ruffling his dark umber hair completely and messing up any style it had to it. His hollowed cheeks puffed up when he finally grinned and padded towards the bed, "Napping?" Jaylene unenthusiastically and drudgingly shook her head, letting her eyes roll back and her head settle into the pillow.
"You didn't go out today?" Liam frowned as he laid beside her.
"No-ope…"
"I left money in - - - "
"Yeah, you left money in the box above the fridge; I didn't want to take your money."
"You could have called Demi, she would have come over and kept you company."
"I don't like being around her." Jaylene furrowed her brow with guilt.
"You don't like my sister?"
"She reminds me of Summer and it… it sucks."
