Snippet #2426918

Lolly was released from the hospital a few weeks later, she still couldn’t walk and therefore had fallen into a deep depression. She wanted to badly to drink but with the children she knew she couldn’t. Not dancing was bad but she couldn’t feel anything from the waist down so she and Jason couldn’t take part in their usual nightly activities, that and Jack. He loved when she was chase him around the yard and now she couldn’t.
At one point, They were in the living room, Jack had walked up to her and tugged on her hand. She tried to tell him she couldn’t but much like her, he didn’t want to hear it. He tugged and tugged and didn’t understand why his mother wouldn’t get up to play with him. After while, he stopped and trotted off to his toys and wanted nothing to do with her. Had she’d been in a better state of mind, she wouldn’t have taken it to heart but she did and ended up sobbing into her hand.

Mireya had stopped dancing too, she’d felt weird dancing when her mother couldn’t. A lot of the time, she’d focus on her studies, though it was extremely difficult without the outlet of dancing. Elly took up the big sister role quickly, keeping Jack occupied and Mireya somewhat calm. She understood what was going with her mother and did all she could to help out. Like making breakfast, Lolly had tried but the stove was too high and she ended up spilling hot eggs and the pan they were in onto her lap to which she couldn’t feel, it left a nice burn. Thankfully, she’d been teaching Elly, so Elly took over that.
The Club finally made the move to LA. Lolly couldn’t even be happy about it. She wanted to ride on Jason’s bike but she couldn’t and that hurt. Most of the time, she’d avoided him completely. She felt useless as a wife and a mother and while she had Joey, Joey was still young in her mind and she didn’t know if she could explain it to her. Ae-Jin had to leave ahead of them, to prepare for school so she found herself during the ride out to LA, talking to Nicky, for whatever reason he’d driven her and the kids while Jason was leading the caravan. It made her depression worse to see him riding and she wasn’t with him.
It was late and the kids had fallen asleep in the back while they were riding out. Nicky asked her how she was doing, looking at the dark expression on her face as she watched Jason from afar. “ I’m slipping.” She said and he looked at her alittle confused. “ I can’t play with my son, I can’t cook for my family, I can’t...be with my husband. I’m losing it, Nick.” She said her voice cracking a bit. Nicky gave her a sympathetic hand to her shoulder. He reassured her as best he could but there was nothing he could really say to make her feel better, he tried saying that everyone understood. “ Doesn’t change the fact that I can’t do anything.” She said, leaning against the window. “I don’t know what to do.” She said and he could probably hear the tears in her voice. Again he tried to reassure her but Lolly just went silent for the rest of the ride.

They made it to LA a few days later, and the Walkers moved back into their old home. Lolly took one look at the dance studio Jason had built for her and rolled herself into their bedroom, closing the door behind her and cried. She wanted so badly to find Maddie and kill her in the most brutal of ways. Why did she hate her that much? The Russians didn’t break her this badly and they literally tortured her. Maybe the difference was, she got her pound of flesh, she’d killed quite a bit on them during her escape but Maddie, she didn’t touch her and it was taking it’s toll.

It was then Jason walked in and Lolly didn’t even bother with turning around, she continued her sobbing.