āI think he deserves to know, butā¦ this is not my choice to make.ā
At first, he did indeed stiffen, the line of his shoulders becoming tense and hard, but he did not raise his face. He had not necessarily expected her forgiveness when he asked for itāit was the asking that was important. What happened after that, he had already decided, would be entirely up to her. If she could not or would not forgive him, then he would leave her in peace, as was her wish. He would not be the reason she suffered more than she already had.
But then she continued and a weight lifted from his chest. Her small hand grasped his large one, and obediently, he straightened somewhat to look at her, still on one knee on the ground, but no longer with something like subservience. He wasnāt made for it, honestlyādoing what he had just done went against every instinct he had. He was a pureblood, and given his lineage, virtually a prince among his kind, not that he had ever sought the designation. But even so, he knew he had power, and the part of him that was, at base, a predator did not take kindly to bowing before others. But he was not only a predatorāhe was also a son and a cousin and a friend and a person, and as all of those things, he knew she deserved even more than he could give. So heād done what felt right.
When she let go, he stood, towering over her seated form for just the barest moment before he stepped back. Sheād smiled at him, as she had so freely when they were children, and he returned it just as openly, placing a hand on her head and mussing her short dark hair as he had then, but the mood had shifted now, and he returned to his chair, listening attentively to what she had to say. She was right of course; he had kept track of Morgan for most of the last century, but it was odd that theyād both lost track of him at the same time. A dark suspicion was taking root in the back of his mind, one that at once infuriated and shamed him. But for now at least, he left it unvoiced. There was more to be discovered before such accusations could ever make the light. Some things were dangerous to even say, and Jasper knew that better than most.
āHe is my family,ā Jasper replied evenly, and though that was answer enough, he chose to elaborate. Better to say too much than not enough in a situation like this. āIāve kept what tabs on him I could, even during those twenty years, butā¦ I lost track of him at the same time you did.ā he had noticed the injuries, but since he had not been personally watching Morgan for all those years, he had no way of knowing when theyād been received. But if it was at the same time as he went missingā¦ āPerhaps I can speak with him. He may be willing to tell me the story, if I am careful with my words.ā His concern showed on his faceāthere was so little joy or point in wearing the mask of mere duty when he was with her. He wanted her to know, to understand how much he loved them all.
He sighed softly. āOne day, when you are comfortable and feel you can speak of it, I would likeāno. I should hear exactly what happened on that day, and why you believed yourself to blame. But it need not be today; perhaps enough has been said for now.ā He smiled gently, his eyes softening. āYou are welcome to stay of course, and keep my company as long as you want it, but I understand if you wish to leave instead.ā A short pause.
āIā¦ cannot adequately express how good it is to have you back, Kiki.ā
But then she continued and a weight lifted from his chest. Her small hand grasped his large one, and obediently, he straightened somewhat to look at her, still on one knee on the ground, but no longer with something like subservience. He wasnāt made for it, honestlyādoing what he had just done went against every instinct he had. He was a pureblood, and given his lineage, virtually a prince among his kind, not that he had ever sought the designation. But even so, he knew he had power, and the part of him that was, at base, a predator did not take kindly to bowing before others. But he was not only a predatorāhe was also a son and a cousin and a friend and a person, and as all of those things, he knew she deserved even more than he could give. So heād done what felt right.
When she let go, he stood, towering over her seated form for just the barest moment before he stepped back. Sheād smiled at him, as she had so freely when they were children, and he returned it just as openly, placing a hand on her head and mussing her short dark hair as he had then, but the mood had shifted now, and he returned to his chair, listening attentively to what she had to say. She was right of course; he had kept track of Morgan for most of the last century, but it was odd that theyād both lost track of him at the same time. A dark suspicion was taking root in the back of his mind, one that at once infuriated and shamed him. But for now at least, he left it unvoiced. There was more to be discovered before such accusations could ever make the light. Some things were dangerous to even say, and Jasper knew that better than most.
āHe is my family,ā Jasper replied evenly, and though that was answer enough, he chose to elaborate. Better to say too much than not enough in a situation like this. āIāve kept what tabs on him I could, even during those twenty years, butā¦ I lost track of him at the same time you did.ā he had noticed the injuries, but since he had not been personally watching Morgan for all those years, he had no way of knowing when theyād been received. But if it was at the same time as he went missingā¦ āPerhaps I can speak with him. He may be willing to tell me the story, if I am careful with my words.ā His concern showed on his faceāthere was so little joy or point in wearing the mask of mere duty when he was with her. He wanted her to know, to understand how much he loved them all.
He sighed softly. āOne day, when you are comfortable and feel you can speak of it, I would likeāno. I should hear exactly what happened on that day, and why you believed yourself to blame. But it need not be today; perhaps enough has been said for now.ā He smiled gently, his eyes softening. āYou are welcome to stay of course, and keep my company as long as you want it, but I understand if you wish to leave instead.ā A short pause.
āIā¦ cannot adequately express how good it is to have you back, Kiki.ā
āAnd people take you to be stern and insensitive. They donāt know how wrong they are.ā
Her strength was the belief she had in her friendsā¦? Sheād never heard it put that way before, but she supposed that he was right. Ava touched a finger to her lower lip contemplatively, and realized that sheād bruised it with all the thoughtful chewing before. Definitely a sign that she needed to spend some quality time with her violin, but she hadnāt had much heart for playing in the last week or so, perhaps understandably. Regardless, she was feeling a bit more like doing so now.
Ah, of course. Somehow, sheād managed to fail to take into account the fact that she wasnāt even capable of being much of a burden for someone like Jazz. She had at best nine or so decades on the earth, probably fewer, and she knew that to someone whoād lived and would live as long as him, as long as any of her friends, that was scarcely more than an eyeblink. Would they forget her, as time moved on? The thought was a little melancholy, but though it saddened her to consider, more than that, it was enlightening. Suddenly, Jazzās willingness to indulge her was a factor not only of his personality, but of his age, and she felt that the understood him a little more. She was so focused on making the most out of her short life that sheād forgotten to account for how it must feel to live a longer one.
On the one, hand, it made her feel about as significant as a fly on a windshield, butā¦ sheād never really minded being unimportant before, and she wasnāt going to start now. Though his words were blunt, and perhaps another person would have taken the reminder of their mortality badly, Ava too saw no point in trying to hide from the obvious. So she cut Vincent a side glance and smiled brightly. āYou give great advice, you know that?ā Rotating a bit so the she was facing his side, she reached up on impulse and touched the hand that was holding the umbrella briefly, a small gesture of gratitude. Well, and perhaps affection, but she was dong her best not to think like that right now. It wasnāt the time for such silly foibles as hers.
āI find it strange that people call you things like cold and uncaring. I think you care a lot, maybe more than youāre willing to admit. Perhaps even to yourself. Thank you, and I mean that. My short mortal life and I have done enough mopingāIām going to go find Jazz and see what I can help him with. If you ever need anything organized, or any believing in you done, just let me know.ā It was only half a joke, but she flashed another bright smile and jogged over to the tree sheād originally been under, picking up her own umbrella. With a wave goodbye, she headed in the direction of the Moon Dormāshe was sure there was a backlog of work to be done. Maybe sheād make Jazz a cake to apologize to him. He did have quite the sweet tooth, after all.
Ah, of course. Somehow, sheād managed to fail to take into account the fact that she wasnāt even capable of being much of a burden for someone like Jazz. She had at best nine or so decades on the earth, probably fewer, and she knew that to someone whoād lived and would live as long as him, as long as any of her friends, that was scarcely more than an eyeblink. Would they forget her, as time moved on? The thought was a little melancholy, but though it saddened her to consider, more than that, it was enlightening. Suddenly, Jazzās willingness to indulge her was a factor not only of his personality, but of his age, and she felt that the understood him a little more. She was so focused on making the most out of her short life that sheād forgotten to account for how it must feel to live a longer one.
On the one, hand, it made her feel about as significant as a fly on a windshield, butā¦ sheād never really minded being unimportant before, and she wasnāt going to start now. Though his words were blunt, and perhaps another person would have taken the reminder of their mortality badly, Ava too saw no point in trying to hide from the obvious. So she cut Vincent a side glance and smiled brightly. āYou give great advice, you know that?ā Rotating a bit so the she was facing his side, she reached up on impulse and touched the hand that was holding the umbrella briefly, a small gesture of gratitude. Well, and perhaps affection, but she was dong her best not to think like that right now. It wasnāt the time for such silly foibles as hers.
āI find it strange that people call you things like cold and uncaring. I think you care a lot, maybe more than youāre willing to admit. Perhaps even to yourself. Thank you, and I mean that. My short mortal life and I have done enough mopingāIām going to go find Jazz and see what I can help him with. If you ever need anything organized, or any believing in you done, just let me know.ā It was only half a joke, but she flashed another bright smile and jogged over to the tree sheād originally been under, picking up her own umbrella. With a wave goodbye, she headed in the direction of the Moon Dormāshe was sure there was a backlog of work to be done. Maybe sheād make Jazz a cake to apologize to him. He did have quite the sweet tooth, after all.